Chapter Text
“Hmm…he’s late.”
Nakamura checks the time on his phone and sees that school has been over for thirty minutes now. He finds it a bit unbelievable since it certainly hadn’t felt like he had been waiting for that long. He spent his time watching all the students leave the building, but now there were none of them left. He hums again to himself as he unlocks his phone and checks his messages, but doesn’t see anything new.
“I wonder if I should message him.”
If it has already been thirty minutes then something must have happened. Normally Hirose is never this late, and if he is, he always sends a message first to let him know. He does easily forget things sometimes though. Did he perhaps lose track of time? Or forget they were walking home together today? Nakamura tilts his head to the side as he stares at his phone. He brings one of his hands up to scratch at his neck absentmindedly, but as soon as he pulls his collar down a tiny bit he immediately freezes.
Nakamura stands up as straight as a rod and turns his head side to side, wondering if anyone was near him. He forgot that it was mostly deserted now as students were either heading home already or at their afterschool clubs. He didn’t see a single soul in sight around him, which was a relief. Nakamura lets out a tiny sigh as he tries to calm himself down.
That was a close one, he thinks to himself.
He’s usually more careful, although common sense always seems to vanish whenever Nakamura’s head gets filled with the person he’s in love with.
Hirose Aiki, the man he’s been crushing on since their first year of high school and has been pining after since for the last two years. After this long Nakamura doesn’t believe it would be reasonable to write his feelings off as simply a crush. It was much more than that, is much more than that. After all these years his feelings have never faltered, never strayed, never diminished, but only grown stronger instead and more passionate. Nakamura truly feels like Hirose is the love of his life…too bad in reality he’s only his friend.
His best friend, his trusted friend…and that was enough for Nakamura. Even though his heart doesn’t seem to understand it, he decided a long time ago that it would have to be enough.
“Nakamura!”
Nakamura gasps as he wakes up from his thoughts. He lifts up his head and is caught off guard when an arm gets thrown around his shoulders and a heavy body collides against his own. Immediately his senses are flooded with salty sea air and sun-kissed musk. Hirose smells exactly like a tropical beach; it made completely perfect sense that he would. His smile was like the sun itself, lighting up Nakamura’s cold and desolate life. His happiness radiated off of him like sunrays radiating off the sun, basking over Nakamura and sharing that happiness. Hirose could be as calm and composed as a gentle still sea and as boisterous and loud as a stormy sea as well. He was like the ocean waves, pulling people in close to him, but also pushing them away as well whenever it became a bit overwhelming. Nakamura could go on and on with his comparisons, write a whole book, maybe even an entire series about Hirose’s scent, but if he had to describe it simply he would put it like this.
Nakamura feels at home and comfortable in Hirose’s scent. It is his favorite scent in the whole entire world. He would never be able to visit a beach again without thinking of his first love. It is absolutely perfect and fitting for the alpha and Nakamura loves it.
“I am so, so, so, so, soooooo sorry that I am late! I didn’t keep you waiting for that long, did I? Please forgive me!”
Hirose rubs his scent off on Nakamura as he begs for his forgiveness, a friendly gesture between friends he has to remind himself. It isn’t uncommon for friends to rub their scents off on each other, marking them as one of their own, as one who belongs to their pack. Nakamura isn’t the only person in their high school that smells like Hirose. Although I wish I was, he thinks bitterly to himself. He freaked out the first time Hirose had ever done it, but now he does it so often that Nakamura tries to not let it get to him (keyword here being try since Nakamura’s heart still races slightly whenever he does it).
“It’s okay, it’s alright, Hirose. I hardly noticed the time at all, it’s fine.” Nakamura tells him.
It is the truth, after all. Nakamura was so happy to be walking home with Hirose today, something that he hasn’t been able to do ever since he got a new girlfriend, that he wouldn’t have cared if he had to wait a whole hour or two. He looks over at his friend and stares at his face.
“Is everything…alright?”
Something feels…off about him. Nakamura doesn’t know if it’s his observation skills he’s gained from watching him for so long or his instincts talking right now, but he knows that something is wrong. Hirose meets his gaze and stares directly into his eyes. The gleam in his eye…it isn’t there like it usually is. Hirose closes his eyes before he smiles widely. He gets off Nakamura and starts walking forward without him, crossing his arms behind his head.
“Yup! Everything is fine, Nakamura! Great in fact! I just got dumped!”
“Oh, that’s good to hear–...wa-wa-wait a second, dumped? You got dumped?!”
Nakamura stands completely still, his jaw dropping as he stares at Hirose walking off without him.
Dumped? He got dumped? Is he being serious right now? Did he and his girlfriend break-up? Already?! Nakamura has an inner panic.
“Oye, what are you doing standing around for? It’s going to get late if we don’t hurry, Nakamura!” Hirose calls out to him.
“Wa-wait a second! Wait up! Hirose, what in the world did you just say?!”
Hirose laughs and runs off ahead, forcing his friend to chase after him. It is so fun, and so easy, to tease him like this. Although the two of them have grown a lot since their first year, Hirose feels like Nakamura still acts the exact same as he always has. It’s nice to know that some things really do never change.
It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who hasn’t changed, Hirose corrects himself.
He waits for Nakamura at the end of the street, laughing when his friend finally catches up with him out of breath. Hirose pats his back and apologizes before walking by his side at their normal pace. Nakamura is red in the face as he still tries to catch his breath. He stares at Hirose with laser focus, trying to see if he could read anything off of him. Hirose honestly doesn’t seem all that hurt or upset over what happened. He looks fine smiling and his scent hasn’t changed one bit, although Nakamura knows that this is something that did bother him. He takes a deep breath and bumps into Hirose’s shoulder.
“Are you no longer dating Natsumi?”
Hirose hums out happily as he stares straight ahead during their walk, “nope.”
“Why not? What happened? I thought the two of you were…”
The word happy fades away from Nakamura’s lips. He could have said the word, but he doesn’t know if Hirose would have believed him if he had said it. Nakamura wouldn’t have believed himself since he knows. He’s seen the two of them together for the past month and a half hanging out at school and walking home together. Although Hirose always had a smile on his face (most of the time), Nakamura never saw him as happy as he usually is when he hangs out with his friends.
Especially with me, he thinks.
“Eh, it’s what usually happens, Nakamura. She told me she was interested in me, we dated for a while, she realized I wasn’t what she thought I would be, and then she caught me as I was heading to meet you and said she wanted to break up. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me so much, which is why you shouldn’t let it bother you either. I promise you, I’m fine. I kind of knew it was coming anyway.”
Nakamura furrows his eyebrows together, “what exactly do you mean by that? The two of you were together for a long time, so why did you think you would break up soon?”
“Just…the last conversation I had with her. We went out on a date over the weekend and she made this small comment, saying how I don’t act how normal alphas do, whatever that means. I asked her to explain what she meant by that, but she just waved it off. It really is the same old story, Nakamura. I thought you would be more interesting, I thought you were a lot cooler, I thought you were a lot stronger, I thought you were more of an alpha, yadda, yadda, yadda. I wonder why I keep saying yes to dating all together. It really isn’t worth the hassle in the end, hahahaha.”
Nakamura slows down his walk, staring off at the back of Hirose’s head as he lags behind him. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He thought that Natsumi…that she was going to be different this time. She made it past the one month mark, something that most of Hirose’s girlfriends never do. She was beautiful, smart, and kind, the complete package…
And the complete opposite of me, he thinks bitterly.
Nakamura could see why Hirose would date someone like her. When the two of them first met she smiled at him and greeted him so kindly. Natsumi even had an interest in marine life and had talked to him about her love for octopus too! Which is exactly why Nakamura felt accepting of her dating his friend because he could tell she was a good person. He could tell that she would have made him happy…should have made him happy.
He had it all wrong though. Nakamura feels a sharp pain in his chest and he reaches up a hand to grip his jacket. Although a dark part of him is happy to hear that Hirose no longer belongs to anyone, meaning that there was a slim chance he could still belong to him one day, Nakamura decided a long time ago that Hirose’s happiness would also be his own happiness. Logically, that would also mean that Hirose’s pain would be his own pain. He truly wished the best for Hirose and Natsumi…but for them to have broken up…
“Maybe it’s girls that I’m not understanding. I didn’t understand them in my first year and I’m still not understanding them now. Maybe I would have better luck dating a male omega. I get along with guys way better than I do with girls. I’m a guy myself after all, hahaha, so I would understand them better as well and probably know what they mean when they tell me the reason they’re breaking up with me.”
Nakamura’s heart skips a beat and he clenches his hands into fists, “Hi-Hirose–”
“Or maybe I should just give up on dating all together and simply focus on school. It is our final year, after all. We’re seniors. I should be focusing on my studies, not my girlfriends. You have it way easier, Nakamura, and you don’t even know it. It must be nice presenting so late in life. You don’t have to listen and follow your instincts. It doesn’t feel like there is another part of you leading your way and encouraging your decisions for you. I kind of wish I presented late. I swear, ever since I presented as an alpha my life has been so much more troubling.”
Nakamura’s face tightens up and he stares down at the ground. He stops walking and squeezes his eyes close.
“Hirose!”
“Ah! What? Nakamura? Why did you suddenly yell like that?”
Hirose was so surprised he jumped up and nearly fell into the telephone pole on the street. Nakamura clenches his jacket tightly as he lifts his head up and meets Hirose’s eyes.
“I-I’m-I’m your best friend, remember? You don’t have to lie to me, or pretend to be happy, or act like you’re doing well when you’re not. You can tell me the truth. You can always tell me the truth. I’m here for you and would never, ever judge you.”
Hirose’s eyes widen slightly before a smile appears on his face. He walks back over to Nakamura and punches his shoulder lightly.
“I already know that, dummy. I’m not lying or pretending in front of you. I…I honestly knew it wasn’t going to last with Natsumi, but I still got myself involved with her anyway because…I don’t know. It’s hard to explain to a non-alpha. Omegas are just so…alluring…or captivating? There is just something that draws me to them. Hmm…it’s hard to describe. You’ll understand one day if you present as an alpha. Her scent was so sweet when I first met her, it was really attractive. I felt this draw towards her in the beginning, but that faded away after a while. I’m sure it was the same for her too, which is why we broke up. There were no hard feelings between us, it was just time. Alphas and omegas are drawn to each other in so many ways, but that attraction doesn’t last forever. Those instincts can’t control you forever and once they’re gone everything that made you want that omega or alpha disappears with it and then you have no reason to stay anymore.”
Hirose started off with a smile, but the more he continued, that smile slowly faded away from his lips and an empty expression started to appear on his face. He quickly shakes his head and puts his smile back on his lips as he looks up, but is surprised when he sees Nakamura. He looks like he is on the verge of tears, not a sight that Hirose hasn’t seen before since his friend often cries in front of him, but this time the alpha doesn’t find it cute or entertaining.
Nakamura lifts up his hand and grabs Hirose’s, squeezing it tightly. “I don’t believe that…and neither should you, Hirose. To go through life thinking that your feelings are only up to your instincts, that your feelings will fade once your attraction does as well, that no one will ever want to stay with you…that isn’t true at all.”
“Geez, Nakamura, you didn’t have to take me so seriously. I was only making light of my situation, alright? I wasn’t being serious, okay? So please don’t look so sad,” Hirose makes a small plea at the end.
“I can’t help that. You’re my best friend, Hirose, and when you’re going through a tough time it also affects me as well. I care for you a lot and always root for your happiness. If you’re sad that you broke up with Natsumi then that just means that she wasn’t the one. She wasn’t the person that is meant to be with you. One day you will find that person and you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been. You won’t even think about Natsumi, or any of your other ex’s, or any of the pain and heartbreak that you once experienced because it will all be replaced with happiness and love from your true mate.”
“Oh wow, Nakamura, I never said anything about pain or heartbreak,” Hirose tries to crack a joke, but when he sees his friend's serious expression he stops trying so hard to put on a facade. The facade that he usually keeps on in school, the facade that takes so much of his time and energy to do that it feels draining after a while, the facade that Nakamura knows about and can see exactly through.
Hirose lets out a loud sigh and drops his hands back to his side. “You sound so certain, but I’m not quite sure myself. Even if I find a person like that, I’m not too sure I’ll even realize it.”
“You will! It would be impossible to miss!” Nakamura shouts.
His outburst not only surprises himself, but Hirose as well as he flinches and stares at him with wide eyes. Nakamura doesn’t know where this burst of courage came from all of a sudden, but it’s welling up inside of his chest right now waiting to get out.
“Their happiness will be the only thing that matters to you! Their happiness will become your own, Hirose, and you would do anything to ensure it! You’ll think about them constantly! They’ll be the first person you think of when you wake up and the last person as well when you go to sleep, and you’ll even dream about them too! Every night! You’ll spend so much time trying to know everything about them! Their likes, their dislikes, their favorite foods or activities, and whenever you hang out with them you’ll spend hours trying to pick out the perfect outfit to wear! You’ll fret over what to say to them and message them, rewriting texts over and over again because you won’t want them to think that you’re coming off too strong, too aloof, too romantic, or too cold, ugh, it will drive you absolutely crazy!”
Nakamura lets out a loud shout at the end before he takes a deep inhale of breath. He has to calm down or else he’s afraid that his voice is going to give out on him as well, and he still has so much more to say before he finishes.
“You’ll try to get into their interests, try to befriend their friends, do every single thing you can possibly think of to have them see you in a positive light because you’ll want to be the most important person to them. And it's not going to matter if you’re an alpha, or a beta, or an omega, or not presented yet. Secondary genders won’t matter at all. They shouldn’t matter at all! Someone should be with you, Hirose, because they love who you are as a person first and your gender second. They should love how kind and caring of a person you are. They should love how charming you are in everything that you do. They should enjoy the way you light up when you talk about your favorite band or sulk when the cafeteria sells out of your favorite bread. How you don’t judge others for what they like, how you always try your best, how you’re always a good friend, how, how, how there are so many wonderful qualities about you, Hirose! The person you are meant to be with will love you just the way you are like I–...”
Nakamura bites his tongue. He has to bite his tongue because he was about to reveal something that he’s been keeping a secret for years now. He always hates and regrets when he gets so worked up because he always ends up making a fool of himself and putting his foot in his mouth in the end. He was too expressive, too specific, too emotional that he started listing off all the things that he loves about his friend, all the reasons why he fell in love with him. Nakamura cries out loudly as he sticks his tongue out and waves his hand in front of it.
“Ah! Nakamura, what happened?! Are you okay?”
“No, yes, I’m sorry. I just bit my tongue really hard.”
His tongue throbs and he’s pretty sure he can taste blood in his mouth, but it was worth it to keep his secret safe and his friendship with Hirose secure.
“Oh, are you sure? I wish I could offer you a bandage, but I don’t think it would do much good on your tongue.”
“Yes, I’m fine, Hirose. Thanks for your concern.”
“No problem. Thank you for your…speech. What were you saying at the end though?”
Nakamura’s face turns red and he turns his head away, “n-nothing, I don’t really know where I was going at the end. I’m sorry for rambling on for so long. The point that I was trying to make is that you deserve happiness, Hirose, and you’ll find it one day, so you shouldn’t settle for anything less. That’s all.”
“Yeah…thanks. What you said…it really made me feel better, Nakamura. Thank you so much.”
Hirose feels his cheeks heating up a bit as he scratches the back of his head. I can’t believe someone would care about me so much that they would get so worked up to make me feel better, he thinks to himself.
Nakamura’s heart races inside of his chest. It beats and pounds being in direct view of Hirose’s bright smile, the gleam in his eyes finally returning. He’s a weak man and can’t last for very long underneath it, so Nakamura clears his throat and takes a step ahead, turning his back towards his friend. He can really feel himself sweating right now and hopes that nothing is leaking out of his uniform.
“Yo-you’re welcome, Hirose. I-I was only t-telling the truth. I don’t want you believing what other people say about you because they’re wrong. It’s not that you’re not interesting, or cool, or alpha enough, or anything like that. It’s just that they’re not taking the chance to know you, the real you, and only care to see what they want to see.”
“Wow, you sound so amazing and wise, Nakamura! Have you been dating someone behind my back?”
“Behind your back?!” Nakamura exclaims, jumping up in the air as he swiftly turns his head back towards Hirose.
“Hahaha, yeah. I find it hard to believe you have such great dating advice if you’ve never dated before yourself. You never told me that you were seeing someone or used to be seeing someone.”
“That’s because I have not! Not ever!”
The reason why I know such great advice is because I read so much BL and imagine what an amazing and caring boyfriend I’d be to you! Not because I learned through experiencing it in real life myself! I would never betray you like that, Hirose! Nakamura whines inside of his head.
“Really? Then how come you knew so much about finding your true mate? You were really specific, almost as if…you knew about it yourself…”
Nakamura’s eyes grow wide with panic. He knows that expression on Hirose’s face; that’s his thinking expression! Is he putting things together?! Did Nakamura really give himself away?! A light appears in Hirose’s eyes as he gasps out.
“Nakamura! Are you in love with someone?!”
Nakamura stumbles forward and nearly falls down on the ground. That’s right, this is Hirose he was talking about. His friend and first love are a lot of things, but observant wouldn’t exactly be at the top of the list.
“What in the world are you talking about, Hirose?! I never said that!”
“Ah ha! You never said it, but you’re not denying it either! I had no clue! Who is it? Who is it?! Tell me, Nakamura! I never keep anything from you and you’re always such a big help to me, let me be a big help to you too! I can be your wingman! If they’re meant to be with you then they won’t care that you haven’t presented yet! I really liked when you said that genders don’t matter in your speech. You know, it honestly never really occurred to me that I didn’t have to only date omegas. Alpha omega pairings are so common, you know? I figured it was expected. I guess that shows how truly naive I was. I’m not too sure how much help I will be since my relationship experience hasn’t been all that great, but I still want to try. So, who is it? Who is your crush?”
“I-I-I–! I’m sorry! Look! Here is where we usually split apart, isn’t it? Hahahaha! I will see you tomorrow, Hirose! I really have to leave now before it gets too late! Get home safely!”
Nakamura runs. Nakamura runs like his life depends on it, because it does. His social life depends on it because if Hirose ever finds out that he’s the one in love with then his best friend would abandon him.
“Wait! Nakamura!”
Hirose watches him run and calls out his name, but he knows it’s no use. His friend is long gone now. Hirose kicks up dust and stares off in the direction that he ran.
“Nakamura has someone he loves, huh?”
Hirose stays standing in his spot for a moment longer before he starts heading home. He doesn’t realize how this actually isn’t the spot that the two of them normally separate at. Hirose is too deep into his own thoughts, wondering who it was that his friend could possibly be in love with.