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something old, something new

Summary:

It is the day of Mei and Hikaru's wedding, and Mei has a lot to think about.

(Marriagetoxin Week Day 1: Wedding/marriage AU)

Notes:

right, so i haven't written fanfic in 4 years and i haven't written fanfic properly in almost 10, but maritoki dragged me back in from the cold like jason bourne, so here i am. i wrote this before work because i couldn't bloody sleep.

i am very certain most of this is out of character for everyone involved except maybe kimie, so allow me, i am shaking off my rust

also spoilers for the manga up to current publication date (chapter 169), TW for homophobia and various other nasty bits in mei's past. also yes we do refer to the "discourse" by which we mean postings made by the absolutely deranged. lord and i thought i was insane

also this is NOT canon compliant but if it does become canon compliant i will go absolutely insane

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

and a silver sixpence in his shoe

 

In all the possibilities and all the ways that Mei Kinosaki had considered his life would follow, this certainly wasn’t one of them.

He sat in a fancy hotel room, the mid-morning sun filtering through the window. The sounds of hustle and bustle could be heard in the distance, sounds of guests arriving and catering staff moving about and if he listened closely enough, Kimie bawling again.

The former marriage swindler idly tinkered with the plain, unadorned silver ring that, prior to this moment, had spent the last three months on his right ring finger.

Gero had really wanted something fancier, he remembered, a faint smile crossing his features, his partner’s stammering voice echoing through his head. The most expensive ring in the store (not that money was any real object, not for him) and he’d apparently been hemming and hawing and making sure the ring was perfect and nice and reserved for him. It was all so simple.

But then, nothing was ever simple in the life of Hikaru Gero and Mei Kinosaki.

Needless to say, after a mishap involving the store getting blown to shreds by someone (was it the Fireworks Specialist? The Bomb Specialist? He really couldn’t keep all these damn specialists straight with their silly specialisms), his plan went awry. Every single person had made it out unscathed and Gero had beaten whichever specialist it in about five seconds flat before he realized that the ring he’d been hoping to propose to Mei with had been broken apart in the wreckage (along with every other piece of jewelry in the store).

The simpler band he got was the only thing they had left. They had the good grace to give it to him for free after he saved their lives, for all the good it did his confidence.

“You know, anyone else wouldn’t be so forgiving, Gero-kun. What do you call proposing with a ring like this?” Mei recalled himself saying, trying to add a teasing tone to his quavering voice as Gero knelt before him, ring in hand, the sunset behind him, covered in soot and smelling of ash and pungent garlic - arsenic, just one of the many ingredients to his many toxins. “Just for you, though, I’ll make an exception, just this once. I want a really nice wedding ring, though. One with a big fat diamond.”

He had to tease him. The tears in his eyes and the swelling in his (mended) heart would’ve betrayed too much otherwise, but he suspected him kissing Gero afterwards might’ve given the game away.

Mei clasped the ring tightly. He didn’t really care that it was a dinky, plain little thing in silver. It could’ve been a toy ring he’d won from an arcade and he would’ve worn it like it was the Hope Diamond.

Never in a million years did he think he’d be wearing one for real. Never in a million years did he think anyone would think him worthy of spending their life with.

Never in a million years would he have ever considered that Hikaru Gero would choose him.

 

something blue

 

Mei had never gotten this far before.

Hordes of rich fools had lined up before him, of all types and all sorts, throwing money and free vacations and everything at him for the chance to make him theirs and he’d taken it all. Okuto needs it, he’d said after his first mark – an accident, really, he never intended for it to go so far. After three, he almost started to believe it.

After ten, he had to believe it.

He gazed over at the bouquet, dotted with peonies and begonias and a singular blue rose. That rose was apparently a specialty of the Flower Clan (since apparently there was a clan for everything now), and Kimie had basically hand-delivered the whole bouquet to Mei that morning, blubbering and crying because of how happy she was for both him and Hikaru. During the whole process of planning this wedding, Kimie had managed to shed more tears than any and all of them combined. Really, Mei had internally questioned why they even let her into the planning, but as it turned out, having more than a few favours to call in was very helpful to get venues, invites and like very quickly. Her detective business had really kicked off after the Poison Clan was overthrown, and the world owed Great Detective Arashiyama a lot.

Mei snorted at the thought of Great Detective Arashiyama. She’d really grown into her own from that first moment they’d met, her trying to look so confident in that arcade. Making her the maid of honor was a great idea – not that Mei knew anyone else who could be.

Catering, of course, wasn’t hard. The Taste Clan, Piichi and Marin, even Shiori’s company – no small amount of people were willing to move heaven and earth to make this day perfect for the men who had saved them long before.

Mei’s eyes lingered on the singular blue rose.

Blue roses weren’t supposed to exist. They were unattainable, unachievable, a far-off distant dream.

Like this wedding. Like being with Hikaru when so many other people deserved that beautiful man’s love and he didn’t. Like every single second Mei Kinosaki’s heart continued to beat.

“I guess we’re alike, huh?” he quietly whispered, picking up the bouquet. “You and I…we’re not really meant to be here.”

Mei had said “meant”, and heard deserved.

He had so many, many skeletons in his closet. All the people he’d swindled and stolen from and broken the hearts of. True, they were vapid and shallow and could stand to lose money. Most of it had gone to Okuto’s schooling and medical bills.

But did that make it right?

To say nothing of what he’d done for the Doll Clan and lying to Hikaru’s face.

He didn’t deserve to be here.

A chill ran down Mei’s spine. A twinge of pain pulsed through the scar on his chest – thankfully, nothing serious. He was healthy, he was alive, but he’d always be marred by everything that had come before. It’d always hurt there, no matter how long ago it was.

It was a reminder of everything he’d paid to be here.

 

something borrowed

 

Mei’s side of the aisle would be almost empty.

Hikaru’s would have everybody; the Hanamakis, Akari, the Iron Clan and damn near all the remaining Clans. Mei was pretty sure he’d even spotted Toshiro and Byakko earlier. He didn’t know Hikaru had even invited them – in fact he was pretty sure they just invited themselves and he was hoping that it wouldn’t end in another fight - or that they were even still alive, but he was at least grateful Byakko wasn’t wearing something that would give everyone nearby conniptions this time.

As he’d gone upstairs, he’d greeted Shiori. She’d been preparing a whole host of magic tricks to entertain the wedding party at the reception. Makoto was with her too, tutting and shaking her head at the idea, all the while holding the rabbit cages.

The only person Mei had left was Okuto. He was somewhere in the venue setting up a place to take photos at later. There was no Mr. and Mrs. Kinosaki to see their son off; a car accident, long ago, had seen to that.

Aside from being (one of) the man of the hour, Mei didn’t bring much to the wedding himself.

Even this dress didn’t belong to him.

The shiromuku Mei was wearing was actually originally the Poison Clan’s. Actually, he recognised it; Teruaki was wearing it when Kirara had poisoned him to fake Hikaru out. A fond smile came to his lips when he remembered HIkaru’s exact words that day.

“Dare lay a hand on Kinosaki, even as a joke, and I swear you’ll see me bare my fangs.”

Even then, even before all that came after, Hikaru was willing to bring down the Poison Clan if it meant Mei was safe, raising hell if he could not bend heaven’s will.

“Gero-kun…you don’t know how cool you can be when you’re just yourself, do you?” Mei wistfully uttered to nobody in particular. His heart fluttered at the memory; how determined he’d looked, how forceful he’d been, the ounce of desperation in his voice he’d picked up on, regaining consciousness as Hikaru fed him a cure to poisons he thought were killing Mei.

Mei loved everything about Hikaru. He loved how awkward he was, how easy he was to tease. He loved the childish glee that filled his eyes at the sight of nerunerunerune – flickers of the long-forgotten past in the human zoo, flickers Mei refused to pay heed to. He loved how warm he was to the touch, carrying him.

He loved how shy and confident and heroic and neurotic and vulnerable and unstoppable and-

He chose me. Stupid of him, really.

That terrible, foolish, stupid, lovely, lovely lovely man. All the people on the planet and Hikaru wanted him.

Makoto was a non-starter, true, but everyone else? Ushio was driven, regimented and organized and could probably be an equal partner to him. Chinatsu could fight like him, had the same values and Erina was practically begging them to get together. Kimie had met him the same time Mei did, and she was vivacious, funny and was, to be frank, incredibly attractive. Shiori was quiet, courageous and wealthy, and Kyoko could give him the adventure and heroism that was his life now, the heroism he’d grown to love.

All lovely people who any person would be lucky to be with, all of them wanted him, even after what Nasu had put them through, and he picked Mei Kinosaki.

What had he to offer?

 

something new

 

All he was, was a marriage swindler. He’d been worse. He was used, second-hand, broken goods.

Hikaru deserved better, didn’t he?

Mei clenched his fists, thoughts coursing through his head, thoughts he’d been trying to ignore.

Here, in private, he could let himself be who he was. Nobody would see, nobody would judge, nobody would demand of him something he wasn't prepared to give.

The Mei Kinosaki that the world saw was curated, made to be the perfect partner for anybody who could afford him. Some of it he’d built himself, some of it, the Doll Clan had done to him – parts he didn’t want to think about or give voice to.

The only person who got – who deserved to see it who wouldn’t be troubled by it who wouldn’t need to worry – to see the real Mei was Hikaru. Even Okuto didn’t see all of it.

He didn’t need him to ask why Mei came home late so many times, or why he smelt of alcohol and sweat sometimes when he came and visited him in the hospital.

Did he deserve to have someone to show his truest self to?

If he’d picked one of the girls, he could have everything. A domestic life full of romance, like he wanted. Someone to wake up next to, someone to talk about small things with and grow old with and have children with. Mei didn’t think he could give him that. Everything about him was constructed for perfection, but it was like a doll, a thing of porcelain and paint and lies, nothing real beneath it.

If I had been a woman, maybe Gero-kun could be happier, a nasty thought occurred to Mei. After all, many people had thought that of Mei in his swindling days. He’d heard it all before, people finding out his secret and hating him for it, even accusing him of the wild alternative, that he was a woman pretending to be a man.

He was thankful Hikaru didn’t care and didn’t want to find out, not in some of the crass ways people had tried or suggested, ways that made him cringe in disgust.

Chalk that up to another way Hikaru Gero was the loveliest man in the world.

Getting to grow old was his doing, too. The memory of Hikaru’s lips on his, when Hikaru had given him the kiss of life, came to the fore. He should be dead, and he wasn’t. That new lease of life was something Hikaru had given him.

Chalk that up to another debt Mei Kinosaki could never repay.

“You really are the best marriage adviser anyone could ask for. I know I have my shortcomings, but I hope you’ll stick with me until the end.”

Mei’s mind flashed back to Hikaru’s apartment, after they’d fled Sanctuary. Despite Mei having had to go behind everyone’s back to protect him from Nasu, Hikaru had let it go. He didn’t question it, he simply trusted Mei. No matter how many lies and deceptions Mei coated himself in, Hikaru trusted him, put his faith in him that Mei would carry him to the finish line of a happy domestic life.

And I should trust him too.

Mei couldn’t believe in himself, even after all this. He couldn’t believe that he deserved any of this. He couldn’t yet believe that he was the right partner for Hikaru. Too long had he sold himself and armored himself in lies to make it bearable. Even Hikaru’s love and companionship couldn’t undo years of damage, not so quickly.

But he could believe in the Hikaru Gero who believed that Mei was perfect for him, who loved him in all his perfection and all his ugliness, who chose him over everyone else, who saved him again and again and again, from the people who would hurt his friends, from the Doll Clan, from himself.

That would have to be enough for him, for now.

 

something old

 

The time approached 11 am and Mei stood up, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

The silence was never something he could deal with, but it was bad luck to let the groom see the bride before the wedding, after all, and everyone was busy getting it all ready. He’d almost forgotten what it was like not being around Hikaru almost 24/7.

“Gero-kun, I’ll be honest, I don’t know if you made the right choice, picking little old me. Even today, of all days, I still don’t know, but this I promise you,” Mei resolved, holding on to his engagement ring and holding it to his chest. "As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be the best husband ever. After all, I’ve already taught you how to be the best husband, didn’t I?”

He chuckled at his own joke, relaxing, the shadows of his past and self-loathing withdrawing into the corners of the room and disappearing, the thoughts of Hikaru banishing them with almost insulting ease.

No, today was going to be the best wedding known to man, and not even his own hang-ups would ruin it for him.

The room shook with two knocks on the solid wooden door. Mei adjusted his kimono and strode across the small room, opening it to see Kimie, her makeup running and the final piece of his ensemble folded in her arms.

“Hey, Kinosaki-kun,” she said, her voice a squawk from the coursing emotions. “Are ya ready? I took me a bit to come find this. Ya gettin’ changed here or do ya want to get changed downstairs somewhere so you don’t have to get back upstairs?”

A multi-colored kimono, for the reception, was in Kimie’s arms. It was an old one that used to belong to a different family; Kyoko had gotten it as a reward for returning some old swords to an old swordsmith’s family. She’d have ordinarily turned it down, but after hearing about the wedding from Kimie, she figured two birds could be killed with one stone. It almost shimmered in the light, flowing with floral and leaf patterns.

Mei figured this meant Kyoko had just got there. It made enough sense; getting Kyoko to stay still for long was like trying to catch the wind with a butterfly net.

It was said that the two kimono the bride wore to the wedding represented her leaving her family, and her joining her husband’s family. Mei had read up on these kinds of things before, as part of his scams. He’d usually flee right before wedding preparations would be discussed, after all, but it was useful to know these sorts of things.

Mei had no family but Okuto left, but maybe it could stand for the end of his life as Mei Kinosaki, marriage swindler and the beginning of it as Mei Kinosaki, best partner on Earth.

“Bring it with you, please,” he replied to Kimie’s question. “…how’s Gero-kun?”

“He’s freaking out. Naruko’s trying that to get him to relax; I’ve never seen so many massage chairs in one room before, so I think he’ll be fine,” Kimie answered jovially, before tilting her head as she observed Mei, the smile fading from her face. “How are you holding up, exactly? Ya look a little-“

“I’ll be fine,” Mei answered quickly, then paused, shaking his head. “Well, no. I’m…it’s complicated. You don’t need to know. All you need to know is that when I see Gero-”

He paused again. He wasn’t used to this yet.

“When I get to see Hikaru, everything will be fine.”

“It’s okay, I won’t pry,” Kimie reassured him with a soft smile. “Well, seeing as you’re eager to see Gero-kun, you ready?”

Mei looked back at the room.

Flashes of his past struck at him once again. Moments naked in a stranger’s bed, covered in bills as his partner left him to smoke. Moments looking at the hospital bill Okuto had racked up. Moments spent with Nasu in his ear, whispering foul truths and reminders of his mortality.

Down the corridor, down the stairs, was Mei’s future.

Down the corridor, down the stairs, was Hikaru and everything Mei could be and was now getting the chance to be.

Whatever monsters the past could conjure up, he had the best partner in the world to fight them with. They wouldn’t disappear yet, but if there was a monster, an assassin or a creature Hikaru Gero wouldn’t fight for Mei, it hadn’t appeared yet.

And that was enough for Mei.

He closed his eyes, mustering the biggest smile he could.

“Who do you think I am? I am the greatest marriage swindler ever. Of course I’m ready to be married.”

He took his first step towards a future that had eluded him, a future he didn’t think he deserved.

 

But it was a future he was going to get nonetheless.

 

 

 

           

Notes:

god as my witness, kinosaki will make out with gero crazy style

tune in next time for more kinosaki angst

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