Work Text:
That final night felt like the kind of night that wanted you to close your eyes forevermore. The world was drowning in the depths of winter, silvery white snow smothering every building in the decaying city. The sky was clearer than a pure soul, stars glittering in every direction, free to roam across the arches of the cosmos with the absence of the hazy yellow of light pollution. That final night was crystalline. Perfect. Heavenly.
Stargazer felt the numbing bite of the cold as he sat upon the highest rooftop, the searing, unforgiving light of the full moon illuminating the crevices of the landscape in a faux daytime.
His gloved fingers brushed the scraping concrete as he sat alone on his island in a sleeping sea.
Behind him, he heard the flutter of something living. It echoed where it shouldn’t, reverberating through the air like strings on a harp, or a church ringing with the voices of a choir.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
He turned, slow and deliberate. He didn’t think it could be real, that neither his heart nor mind could catch up with each other as his eyes met with a familiar face. A familiar face wreathed in an unnatural, forced light that came from within. It warred with the moon, with the stars, with everything distant and ethereal. It was human, yes, but also holy. A kind of holy that thought itself above the constellations themselves.
And so, he stared into the face of the follower.
A follower of a god who took everything, in return for the chance to stay.
To stay for years upon decades upon centuries upon millennia-
With him.
With Stargazer.
Someone cursed with immortality.
Someone cursed to watch the world bloom and wither like wildflowers.
Someone cursed to watch the stars slowly drift apart until the sky was as unrecognisable as Follower was to him now.
“What are you doing here?” He breathed, disbelieving. He’d accepted long ago that his lover was gone, that the price was too high and he was stupid, stupid for hoping they could ever be together. Follower tucked his wings behind his back, wings that had been ‘gifted’ and had sprouted in a blaze of tearing muscle and strings of blood through desperate screams to go back.
It was too late, wasn’t it?
Too late for both of them.
It was over.
“I-” Follower started, fingers fidgeting the way they always used to. “I wanted to come with you.”
Ah, so his god had grown tired of the world it had ruined. It was deciding to leave the shattered remnants to be devoured in the maw of time, forgotten in its insignificant corner of the universe.
“Your eyes are really sparkly,” he commented, freckled auburn and glinting sapphire meeting.
That face, framed in scruffy white-red hair, speckled with scars and scrapes and donning that ever-present toothy grin that he adored-
“In death?” Stargazer asked.
He couldn’t stare at Follower when he fidgeted like that. He’d fidgeted like that when he and Stargazer had first become friends, when Stargazer snapped and growled and hissed at him to leave but he never did. He had stayed like an evergreen tree, enduring Stargazer’s relentless winter until a spring of muttered thanks and stolen glances blossomed. He’d fidgeted whenever he asked for a favour, as if the notion was selfish and unforgivable, even though Stargazer said yes every time (he was starting to realise he’d do anything for-). He’d fidgeted when he’d asked Stargazer to love him, fingers constantly fiddling with the humble grey cape he used to wear, now long torn to shreds. All those tiny mannerisms broke through that seemingly perfect mould Follower’s god had built, and it felt like an arrow to Stargazer’s eyes.
He couldn’t accept that it was still the same person, still his lover, despite everything. Underneath that ravaged armour, underneath that expressionless, carved stare, was- was-
“I like how fluffy your hair is,” he giggled, carnelian horns flashing in the afternoon light. He ran soft and curious fingers through the other’s strands, nails brushing along scalp and ending at rosy cheeks and flustered blue eyes.
“It feels like a cloud.”
“You know I can’t die. I can only- I can only forget. I can only start again-” Stargazer choked on the last word.
He didn’t want to forget. His memories hurt, yes. They sliced through him with their serrated edges, cutting off a little more of his heart every time. His memories burned.
But… They were the only thing left of who his lover used to be. The only remnants of that clueless sun-dappled grin, those glittering auburn eyes that understood and listened and cherished and oh-
He’d forgotten how much he missed his lover. It had been easier, and he hadn’t even realised until that face had faded from his mind and he’d been able to sleep a little easier.
“What the fuck happened to you?!” He shouted, fists clenched so hard that blood seeped through calloused, shaking fingers.
“What did you do?”
“I- I can stay with you now. You don’t have to worry about me-!”
…
….
…….
“Was it worth it?”
WAS THERE A SINGLE MOMENT WHERE ALL OF THIS WAS WORTH JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH SOMEONE WHO N̸̨̧̢̙̣̰̘̣̹̰̹͔̝̖͈̻̺͖͖̻̫̟͈̜̳̳͙̝̖̳̖̐̈͋͛͛̋̄̔̓͌͐̽̌̑̾̓̊̅͂͑̂͑̌́̐̑̎̽̑̑͆̚͜͜͠͠ͅͅȨ̶̛͎̠͙̽̂̔̋͆̊̈́͌̂̽̾́̓͐̄̐̉̈́̂̈́̊͐̅́̈͊̌̚̕͘̕̕͝͝͝V̶̨̧̨̛̩̺͈̫̩̠̦͙̥̩̼͙͕̤̺̱̦̭̰͔͈͈̣̹͇̣̜͕͉͐̀̂̊̽͌͋̽̊͊́͗̇̑̇́̏̔̽́̆̑̚̚̕͜͜ͅḚ̶̳̩̞̦̺̝̹̤͕̝̜͇͎̲̝͊̇̂͒̇̐̀͒̄̓̑͊͗͌̽̓͌́̎̄̏̽̔̈́͊̈͑͛̌͑͆̑̚̕͘͠Ŕ̶̨̢̡̡̢̪̯͔̦̺̟̯͕̝̻̼̟͇̹̫̪̲̖̹̱͇̲͎̞̻̠̖̙͚̮̔̿̈́̓̐̓͛͒̾̈́͗̈̂͊͝͠ͅ ̷̧̡̢̛͙͕̖͓̫̗̹̤͙͍͍̗͓͎̩̲̪̩͇͔̮̝̙͓̳͈̭̰͉̀̈́̉̅͂̋̈́̉͌̌̍̊̉͛͌̎́͜͝ͅͅD̸̢̨͔͇̯̗̱͐͐̒̀̈́́͊̒͒͆́͆̒̃́̕͘͜Ȩ̷̨͉̝͎̝͎̥̬̩̬̪͇̤͆̿̒̈́̎̑̈́̈̅́̄̀͂̒͒̅͆̅̃͘̕͝͝͝S̵̨̡̢̝̳͎͎̹̻̗͈͉͚͖̬̖̲̗͍̥͎̦̘͛͒̋̾̿̀͐͑̎̋́̽̀̈͑̽̒̓͐̃̈̑̉̔̑̾͊̊͘̕̚̚͝͝͠ͅE̴̢̨̛̛̦̟͚͓̞̭̤͙͚̞̫͙̰̣̝̘̾͆̔̍̄͗̔̓́̈͌̍̏̋͆̀̑͘͠ͅR̷̛̜̣̳͖̦̝̻͉͕̣̲̔̃̒̅̍̏̊͋̈́̾̆̀͋̏́͐͆̏̍͊͗͋̿́͑͊̆͛̉̒̔̕͘̚͠͠͝͠͠V̴̧̨̨̛̛̛̪̹̗͙̱̭̝̲̪̳̦̞̲̮̣͔̝̠͚̳̥͕̣͌́̀̍̾́̏̈́̂̔͌͒̀̃̿̑̈́͂̒̊̔͒̉͘E̵͎͔̟͗̈́̈͑͋̂̍͒̔̌͐̔̈́͑̽̈́̋̀̒͋̀̔̚̚D̶̡̨̧̧̢̛̤͚̤̟̩̺̣̯̞̣̙̝̤̫͕͍͓͚̠̗̞̭͍̳̺̭͔̺̪̊̐̓̋̿̐͆̂̀̀̓̒͂͐͊͗̓̈́͊͆̍͜͝ͅ ̷̨̧̡̡̧̩̺̜̗̹̺͙̭̪̤͉͖͉̪̥̱̻͎̜̠̺̻̠͇̘̳̟̘̓͂̏̾̄͂̈́̆͋̂̈́̃͜͜͠ͅY̶̡̨̢̛̼͚̱͇͖̱̪̭͓̩̣̙͈͕̼̹̤̮̥͕̟̺͕̪̱̲͖̙̼̳̑̋͊̽͋̒͛̈̑̂̾́̍͂́̓͂̃͐́͂̀̆͂͒̆̃̐̐͆̀̀̆́̓̍̆̕͜͝͝Ò̷̧͕̯̖̗̟̜͎͚͔̹̪͓͔̩͎̇̈́͋͋̏̈́͐̚Ǘ̷̡̧̨̢͔̲̠̫̘̫̜̥̩̭̮͚̱͙͎̈́̔̀̆̊̈͆̕͘͜͝͝ ̸̢̧̢̧̬̮̟͚̖̘̭̤̬̙̰̼̙͇͕̱͍̹͔̣̌̄̅̎̍͒̈́̓͑͘͜͠A̷̢̧̛̪̹̞͇̰̝̘̥̤͍̝͍̜̟͈̤̗̳͍̜̒̈́́͗́̚̚͘͜͝͝͝T̵̨̛̖͙͈̪̭̬̮͍͚̠̝̠͉̯͍͎̣̋̓́́̐̆͒̍̂̈̃̇̓̃̉̃̈̃́̏͘͘͝͝͝ͅ ̶̡̡̡̡͔̳̣̙͚̫̻̤̻̠̬̞̟̤̬̻̬̠̜͓͈̣̟̰̪̫̅̀̽̔̅̃̏̉̐̇̃́̈́̋̀̍̆̾͘̕̕͝͝͝ͅͅÃ̴̢̨̨̢̙̖͚̜̙̱̟͚͓͇͔̮̟̙̥̘͎͈̼̺̲̰͎̩̱̥̈́̀͒̌͗͛̄́̈́̏̂̆͐̈́̍͝͠ͅL̵̙͇͔̟̯̮̯̲̦͙̭̰̘̤̠͚̔͊̕͜͝ͅĻ̷̧̨̡̧̨̛̛̝̝̱̗̱̫̯̺̻̥̦͈̪͖̟̏͛̐̎̾͆̈́́̃̐̆̏͒͒̍̄́͒̾̽̎̉͋͋̓̏̏͛̒͘̕̚͜͝-̶̧͓͓͈̤̰̪͖̤̝̳͇̄͂̿͐̽́͂̓̌͒̒̿̈̍̽̈́͑̈́̾̋͊͂̔̑͋̈́̃̐͝͝͠͝͝
Never
“Then- then let’s start again,” Follower piped up, dragging Stargazer from his epiphany. “Let’s forget. We can pretend none of this ever happened, that we were always happy. We can meet again. We can…” He drifted off, voice lowering to something almost reverent.
“We can fall in love again.”
He deflated when Stargazer merely stared at him. Stared at that little scar below Follower’s right eye that he’d gotten when they were kids.
“Where did you get this?” He murmured, as the other flinched away.
“Just- just a bird attack. I was an idiot.”
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Follower murmured. “I know I shouldn’t have come back when we’d both accepted it was over. But… I miss you. I miss you so much that it weighs me down when I fly, it chokes me when I breathe-”
He paused, reaching out a trembling hand to tenderly cup Stargazer’s cheek. A moment passed, two, and neither pulled away.
“No matter how much I try, I can’t forget what we were. What we are.”
…
“Do you remember,” Stargazer hummed, desperately trying to ignore how much the déjà vu was searing him from inside out, “when you confessed your love to me?”
Follower attempted to pull his hand away, but Stargazer held it in place with something akin to the euphoria of a dying sun.
“Do you remember the way the sky looked that night?”
Follower nodded.
…
That first night felt like the kind of night that wanted you to stay awake until the sun kissed the horizon, until the blotchy gold of the city collapsed into the radiant azure of daybreak.
Discarded summer blossoms drifted across the streetlit pavement far below, dusting the lively city in the warm hope of tomorrow. The ether echoed with the laughter of those out late, and the whole world practically glowed with bliss. That first night was beautiful in its chaos.
The two best friends sat above it all, on the highest rooftop they could reach. They felt the warm buzz on their skin, their faces a washed-out gold. Their hands brushed against each other, two seabirds finding each other in a vast ocean.
“Could I ask you something?” One asked, anxious voice rising over the din below.
“Of course,” the other replied, head tilting in curiosity.
“You said- you said once that you loved me,” he started, fingers twirling a corner of his cape in an unfollowable pattern.
“And I thought you meant as a friend.”
The other laughed.
He could only admire the way they tossed their head back to the sky, pointy teeth glinting in the dimming light as the hour shifted from midnight to morning.
Rocket was beautiful.
“B-but-“ He continued, scowling at Rocket’s teasing face.
“I think I understood what you meant.”
It was always you. From the moment our eyes first met and those first words that were only meant for us escaped into the air, I knew. I’ve always known, deep down, in some odd way. It’s like you’re the end of the road I’ve been walking my entire life, but now I’m running, I’m running so fast that I’m bound to trip over but it doesn’t matter because I see your end-of-the-tunnel light and all I want to do is crash into your arms-
“I love you, Rocket.”
…
“I know.”
…
“Can I come with you?”
…
“I’m not going anywhere, Sword. I’d never go anywhere without you.”
☆