Chapter Text
Noah started it. Because of course he did.
One random Tuesday, he had no sleep because he stayed up on the couch long after Tim and Lucy had told him to go to bed and he was researching types of pasta because they’d had pasta for dinner.
He’d come back the next morning with a fully researched presentation on boiling times, cooking ratios, and information on sauce absorbency.
Daisy rolled her eyes.
Zoe couldn’t stop laughing.
Lucy actually seemed mildly interested.
Tim just ignored everyone in favour of the coffee machine.
“Hear me out,” Zoe said.
Tim turned around, looking like he was bracing for a firefight.
“Powerpoint night,” she said, a grin spreading across her face.
“Yes,” Lucy laughed. “Absolutely.”
Then the smoke alarm went off, because Noah had forgotten he’d put toast in the toaster.
Lucy wrote something down on the grocery list and forgot what it was halfway through.
Zoe opened the fridge and forgot why.
Tim started talking about something and lost track halfway through.
Daisy just watched them all with silent judgement on her face.
“Okay,” Lucy declared, looking at the clock. “You all have five minutes to get yourselves to the car, or you’re finding your own way to school.”
Tim finished Noah and Daisy’s lunch, not Zoe’s - I can pack my own lunch, thank you Dad - scrambled upstairs and changed quickly, chugging his coffee and throwing his and Lucy’s go bags in the car.
They left exactly fifteen minutes later.
Powerpoint night didn’t get raised until later that night. By Daisy.
“So,” she said, as she reached for another serving of potatoes. “Are we actually doing this powerpoint night thing?”
Lucy’s brows furrowed together. “What powerpoint night thing?”
Daisy rolled her eyes. “The thing you agreed to this morning. After Noah’s pasta presentation at breakfast.”
Lucy considered for a moment, then her eyes widened. “Yes. I remember.” Her smile turned mischievous. “Absolutely. We need rules.”
“Everyone has to present,” mumbled Noah, around a mouthful of food.
Tim groaned. “Please, no.”
Lucy giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’ll be okay, babe.”
“Any topic,” Zoe supplied.
“Sunday night,” Lucy added.
“Weekly!” Noah chimed in.
“Absolutely not,” chorused Tim, Lucy and Zoe.
Noah’s face fell.
“I would consider monthly,” Lucy said.
Noah smiled again, pumping his fist.
That Sunday, powerpoint night began.
Blankets were gathered. Snacks were coordinated. Tim and Lucy sat on the couch while the kids made blanket piles on the floor.
Each of them connected their laptops to the projector Lucy had bought for the occasion - showing either way too much investment, or just the right amount of commitment.
Noah went first.
He presented a comprehensive presentation on why hot-dogs are called hot-dogs.
And proceeded to explain the evolution of processed meat throughout America’s history.
There were 32 slides.
And 16 graphs.
And a bibliography.
Lucy shuddered and said she was glad she’s pescatarian.
Daisy said today might be the day she becomes pescatarian, too.
Tim looked pretty interested. Asked Noah a few questions.
Daisy was next.
Her presentation was organised. Neat. Structured. It had a table of contents.
It was titled, The Bradford-Chen Family: A Comprehensive Analysis of Lateness Patterns.
She presented her sets of data. Dating back over six months.
Slide 4 was graphs.
Slide 5 was future predictions. (It wasn’t getting better.)
Zoe cackled.
Lucy was in stitches.
Daisy kept a straight face no matter what.
Her conclusion was: we are late. Literally all the time.
She wasn’t wrong.
Zoe went after Daisy.
Her presentation was titled: Why Barnabas Francis Pretzel Bradford-Chen Needs a Friend.
That was their dog’s name. Well. That was the name Zoe called him when he was in trouble.
Daisy named him Barnabas.
Noah argued that his name should be Pretzel.
Zoe added Francis at some point.
Tim call him Barn.
Lucy called him baby. It worked.
Zoe had a ruler to point with.
Slide 2 was photos of Barnabas looking sad.
Slide 3 was AI edited photos of Barnabas looking happy with another dog.
Slide 4 was statistics on improved wellbeing of dogs in multi-dog households.
Slide 5 was an estimate of the percentage increase in chores that would need to be done with a second dog.
Slide 6 was studies on the adaptions of a second dog to an already exist n household.
Slide 7 mapped costs of another dog.
Lucy looked half-convinced.
Tim just rolled his eyes.
Noah cheered and looked at his parents with a hopeful look in his eyes.
Tim shook his head, and mouthed no.
Lucy looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
He just kissed her, and then said, while smiling, ‘no’.
She pouted and smacked him on the chest.
Lucy was next.
She gave an in-depth presentation about a serial bank robber who robbed banks for twenty years without being caught. She created fully simulated crime scene photos of some of the banks.
Her presentation lasted 37 minutes.
She told it like a true crime podcast.
Everyone hung on to her every word for 37 minutes.
When she was done, no-one said anything.
Tim just narrowed his eyes.
“That’s what you were doing at 2am the other morning?”
Lucy scoffed. “What else would I have been doing?”
He just rolled his eyes, and pulled her to sit next to him, kissing her once, twice, three times.
The kids all screamed ‘ew!’.
Tim was last.
He stood up, flexed his hands, pulled up his slideshow.
The Bradford-Chen Family Morning Routine: Version 3.
“Seeing as you all hated versions 1 and 2,” he said. “We have version 3.”
Zoe booed instantly.
Tim glared at her.
Zoe just laughed.
Slide 2 was colour coding notes.
Slide 3 was cataloging of tasks.
Slide 4 was the complete timetable.
Slide 5 had downloadable pdfs for each person available via a QR code.
No-one clapped when he was done.
“Honey,” Lucy called out, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. “It’s not gonna stick. You know that.”
“Not with that attitude, it’s not,” he replied.
“How long did it take you to make that, Dad?” Zoe asked, teasing.
Tim looked caught. “A normal…reasonable…amount of time.”
Lucy giggled. “Yeah, that’s a normal response.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t learn to do anything with technology until I’d been on the force for quite a few years.”
“Old!” Zoe yelled, disguising it as a cough.
“Hey,” Lucy said. “The only person who gets to call your dad old is me. And he’s not old. He’s wise.”
“Thank you, Lucy,” he replied, glaring at his three children.
“Just kidding, babe, sorry. You’re old. It probably took you upwards of two hours to do that QR code.”
“That’s not what you said last night, Lucy.”
She turned red instantly as all of her children covered their eyes and made disgusted faces.
“You’re banned from speaking now, thank you,” she clapped and stood up.
He rolled his eyes and headed back to his seat.
“Thank you for attending the inaugural Bradford-Chen monthly powerpoint night. We shall see you all again next month.”
Everyone cheered, and the twins proceeded to fight over a blanket fort, Zoe adjudicating from the side, while Tim hugged Lucy into his side and they watched and the normal chaotic family rhythm settled back in again.