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It was a quiet afternoon, and Shane and Ilya were a jungle of limbs and torsos and tousled hair. There was light music playing somewhere, and you could hear Anya running around the house.
Ilya was having one of his bad brain days, and Shane just wanted to be there for him.
Ilya started thinking about everything Shane had done for him, from making coffee that morning, to being brave in Crowell's office, to opening up his cottage to Ilya, to introducing Ilya to his parents. Even if Ilya would never understand it, even if he would never say it out loud. Even Hayden sharing his best friend with him. Shane had shared his best friend with Ilya, and Ilya had found comfort in joking around with Jackie, playing with the twins, and just cuddling with Arthur and Amber. He had found home. He had found his nieces in them.
Shane had done so much for Ilya. Shane was brave and strong and kind.
Thinking about it all, there was one particular memory that played back in his mind, and for the first time in a few hours, Ilya spoke.
“Thank you.”
Shane had a puzzled look on his face. He looked up at Ilya, confused, and asked, “What for, baby?”
Ilya couldn’t stop his smile at the word "baby"
“For talking in the gym,” he said.
Shane frowned slightly. “You’re talking about draft day? What got you thinking about that?”
Ilya just replied with something he had never even admitted to himself, because he had been too scared to do that.
“I was scared to move to Boston. To move across the only country I had ever known, even if home was never really home since I was twelve, it was still a place I knew since birth. I was moving across continents, to a country whose language I didn’t know, whose culture I didn’t know, playing the only thing I knew how to do, which was hockey. What happens if I injure myself? And I asked you, ‘Boston is good, yes?’ and you said yes.”
Shane was fighting tears in his eyes.
He said quietly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that. I just thought you were asking because you were boasting about Boston. Gloating that you got the first pick.”
Ilya shook his head. “No, no, no. That’s what I wanted. I wanted your Shane Hollander facts. I knew Shane Hollander knows his facts. He learns people’s stats. He learns players, teams, coaches, power units. I knew Shane Hollander knew hockey, and I wanted Shane Hollander’s facts.”
Shane couldn’t stop the tears then. He kissed him and wanted to crawl into his skin.
For the first time in the last few days, Ilya felt happy and content, and he started counting back all the things Shane had done for him. And the first thought that came to mind was that he was thankful Shane Hollander existed in a world that had let Ilya find him.
It had taken a long time, but Ilya was glad he was here, on the cottage couch, sleeping with Shane cuddled up to him, and Anya running somewhere in the background.