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The planet Yulevalia was anything but merry. Inhabited by feral elves with sharp teeth and no Father Christmas to be seen, it was a red and green, fairy-lighted nightmare. Prior to whatever disaster caused the Elf apocalypse, Yulevalia had been peaceful, and of course that was when the Doctor had intended to land. The Doctor had gotten the landing a little wrong.
The whole trip had gone south from that point. Separated in a landslide of mud and pine trees, the Doctor and Rose had been imprisoned by two warring Elf factions and both were being offered up as a sacrifice for a peace treaty, since the two tribes decided that the time travelers were the cause of their misery.
Before the sacrifice, which involved gigantic Graham crackers and large bars of chocolate, with the Doctor and Rose playing the part of the marshmallows, there was a ritual to be performed.
They had no idea what was expected of them as they were brought out at spear-point by two Elf guards.
“Hello,” the Doctor greeted Rose, as always.
She gave him a tight smile and answered and returned the greeting in kind. “So, what do we do now?”
The Doctor surveyed the situation. They were standing under a large archway that was decorated with ribbon, holly, and directly overhead, mistletoe. He noted that the chieftain Elf had his sonic screwdriver in hand.
The Doctor formulated a plan, his impressive Time Lord Brain quickly shuffling through all possible outcomes that didn't result in them becoming large s’mores. As plans went, it was fairly rubbish but it was all he had at the moment.
He locked eyes with Rose, who was trying not to look frightened. “Rose, just go with it, okay?”
She nodded slightly.
He addressed the Elves loudly, sounding every bit the Oncoming Storm. “This ends now. We will not bow to your will, and you will let us go!”
The Elves laughed.
“S’goin’ about how you planned?” Rose muttered.
“As a matter of fact, it is….oi, with the poky stick!” The last was addressed to the Elf guarding him, who had just poked him hard in the back.
“You will end this now,” the chieftain hissed in heavily accented English. The Elves raised their spears, murder in their eyes. “Kiss her!”
The Doctor glared at the chieftain and then looked intently at Rose. “Remember what I said,” he murmured. He leaned toward her, his eyes flicking down to her lips. She gasped a bit.
*******
Rose knew they were in danger. Most likely, this kiss would be their last if the Elves had their way.
She still found herself wanting the feel of his lips on hers, and if it was the only time it happened, what a way to go out.
She could sense his breath on her lips, his hand in hers. Just as his lips were to make contact, the Doctor jerked his head away and swung around. The next thing she knew the arch was falling over, and he was jerking her away from it as he snatched a spear from the closest Elf. Letting go of Rose’s hand only long enough to grab the chieftain by the robes and yank him off the ground, he yelled, “Grab the sonic!”
All this happened in the span of a few seconds. Rose had the sonic, the Doctor took it, unceremoniously dropping the chieftain. “Run for your life, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor ordered, and they did as the throng closed in on them. She thought they'd be trampled or skewered. The Doctor used his free hand to activate a setting on the sonic that apparently hurt the Elves’ ears, and the whole lot dropped, unconscious.
“This’ll only last about five minutes, but we'll have a head start!”
And so, the Doctor and Rose Tyler ran for their lives, as usual, all the way back to the TARDIS.
*******
Once safe in the vortex, the Doctor smiled triumphantly at Rose, who was sitting on the jumpseat still trying to catch her breath. “The little monsters gave us a merry chase. A merry Christmas chase, I suppose you'd say,” he quipped, clearly proud of his cleverness.
“That almost topped the Christmas you regenerated. Almost,” she said with a chuckle.
“That would be hard to top,” he agreed. “Where to now, Rose?”
“I'm gettin’ a shower and takin’ a kip. If you want holiday fun, find us someplace peaceful. Maybe a shopping planet.”
He considered. “I know one where it's Black Friday all year long.”
“I said peaceful,” Rose reminded him. “And get it right this time, okay?”
“Oi!” the Doctor groused, but he knew he really didn't have a lot of room to complain. If Rose wanted Christmas, there was a perfectly good one in Victorian times they could attend, without Gelth, hopefully.
Rose stood up and stretched, then gave the Doctor an appraising look. “So….” she said casually, “.....would you have gone through with it?”
The Doctor looked puzzled. “Gone through with what?”
Rose huffed an exasperated breath and muttered quickly, “The kiss. Would you have gone through with the kiss?” She was embarrassed that she asked, and fearful that she already knew the answer.
“Oh, no. That would have been a literal kiss of death. My plan always was to fake them out, and then use that Venusian Aikido move to knock over the arch. Haven't done that since my third incarnation, but apparently its muscle memory, even if you end up havin’ different muscles!” He looked quite chuffed with himself.
“Oh,” Rose sighed. “Gonna get that kip now.” She hoped she didn't appear as crestfallen as she thought she did. Of course he wouldn't have. Even if he'd
almost told her….things about how he felt outside the chippy. He didn't do that, unless she attacked him while possessed by a skin flap or if the uncrowned Queen of France….
Rose shut that thought down. Silently she left the room. She was proud that the lump in her throat didn't overwhelm her until she was out of earshot.
******
The Doctor was rather surprised by the telepathic smack to the back of the head his TARDIS gave him after Rose left the room.
“What the bloody hell was that for?” he yelled, his voice rather higher than normal.
The TARDIS sent him another thought: Rose and disappointment. Sadness.
“Why would she….” He recalled the conversation they'd just had. Surely not….
He had the mental image of an eye roll from his time ship.
“The kissing? She was disappointed that I didn't actually...really? We were about to die. Well, theoretically. We likely wouldn't have, because my plan was going to work but at any rate……”
He recalled his answer when she asked him about the kiss. Oh, no. That would have been a literal kiss of death. “I was referring to the situation at hand! If we'd both closed our eyes and our lips...we would have been….distracted. We would have been vulnerable to the little prats with the spears!”
The Doctor ran his hands through his hair, pulling it this way and that. “Blimey!” he growled.
Pacing back and forth while pulling at his hair offered no solace.
“I would have been very distracted,” the Doctor finally admitted. He sighed, dejected, until an idea began to take form in his impressive Time Lord Brain. “Ha!” he yelled triumphantly, dashing out of the room.
*******
Rose’s head was clearer after a hot shower and a short kip, and her dejection from early was replaced by burning embarrassment. They’d been in danger, and here she was, being an absolute idiot, expecting some romantic kiss to weaken her knees.
Not that she didn't want the Doctor to weaken her knees. She wanted it very much.
I'm staying with him forever, she thought. Whether we're romantic or not. I love him, and I'm fairly sure he loves me. If something's going to happen, ever, it won't be on a planet infested with spear carrying homicidal Elves. Get a damn grip, Tyler.
She left the ensuite wrapped in a towel, after having realized she'd forgotten her jimjams. She was quite surprised to find a pair of shorts, printed with Christmas trees, along with a red vest top. It was not what she had set out.
“Very funny,” she sighed, directing her frustration at the culprit. She had an idea that the TARDIS was chuckling at her. “Oh, come on!” Rose noticed that her dresser had disappeared. “Fine. But I'd better have my dresser when I come back!”
******
A few minutes later, dressed in Christmas jimjams, Rose stepped into the corridor outside her room, only to notice that the library had been moved directly across the way. Obviously she was to go in there.
Rose opened the door, and it took her few seconds to process just what she was seeing.
The library had turned into everything Yulevalia hadn't been.
In the warm, cozy anteroom, fire burned brightly in the fireplace. There were two stockings hung (with care) on the mantle, along with pine garland.
A large spruce tree stood in the corner, bedecked with fairy lights and stuffed with ornaments.
The Doctor stood by the tree, looking nervous. He was wearing a pair of blue striped jimjams. He smiled brightly when Rose stepped in. “Hello! What do you think? I decided we could do our holiday here on the TARDIS. No need to land.”
“I'd say we have all we need here,” Rose marveled, taking in the room. Tea and Christmas cookies were set out in the end table by the sofa.
“I've queued up some Christmas movies….Home Alone, It's a Wonderful Life….if you'd like to watch later, maybe.”
He reached out a hand to her. No matter how disgruntled she might be, Rose could never resist his outstretched hand. She took it gladly.
“That would be lovely,” Rose agreed.
“And see the ornaments? I've picked many of them up over time while we've been busy visiting planets.”
“Nothing from Yulevalia, I hope,” Rose said with a small smile.
The Doctor snickered. “When did we have time to shop? I'll show you the ornaments in more detail later. What I really want you to see is just over here…..”
The Doctor lead Rose to an alcove next to the Christmas tree. He pointed up and Rose looked to see a sprig of mistletoe decorated with a red bow. “Rose, I wasn't very clear earlier. I, well, I probably was rather harsh, and I'm sorry, so, so sorry that I spoke in the way I did.”
Rose hushed him with a finger to his lips. The contact gave him goosebumps.
Rose was speaking, though, and he thought he should probably listen. “Don't worry. You had nothing to make up to me. I was being ridiculous. We were in jeopardy. I shouldn't have expected anything.”
He shook his head. “No, no, Rose, let me finish, please. I didn't want our first real kiss to be in that situation, even though it would likely have provided a very interesting story later on, provided we survived. If I kissed you then, I think I would have been too distracted to save us because we'd be doing something I've been wanting to do...dreaming about...for quite some time now.”
Rose’s eyes widened. “Dreaming about?”
“Yes,” he confirmed, letting go of her hand to caress her cheek.
“Then I suppose we'd better get on with it.”
It was his turn to be surprised. He smiled slowly, leaning toward her. She met him in the middle as he nodded. Their lips brushed together softly. They broke apart briefly to gaze at each other. Rose grinned brightly and pulled him closer by the lapels of his pajama top. Their lips came together more fervently this time, her hand sliding into his hair, sealing them together. She felt his tongue dart out to brush against the seam of her lips, requesting entrance. She opened to him gladly, and the kiss deepened deliciously.
The Doctor lost himself in the feel of her lips and her hand tugging in his hair. He felt as though he could go on like this forever, world reduced to nothing but the scent and taste of Rose Tyler. She didn't have a respiratory bypass, however, so they eventually had to break apart. He rested his head against her forehead.
“Rose Tyler,” he declared, “this is how I intended to kiss you the first time. Better than being surrounded by murderous Elves.”
“Much better,” she agreed with a tongue touched smile.
“I intend for the second one to be even more impressive,” he promised.
As he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him, she chuckled. “You think you're so impressive.”
“I am so impressive.”
And as the Doctor pressed his lips to hers again, he set about proving just how impressive he could be, weakening Rose’s knees very satisfactorily.