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Luffy barges into the dining room, where Sanji and Nami are having tea by the window and Brook is playing music for Chopper, Jinbe, and Robin. He pops up beside Sanji.
“Sanji!” he chirps, interrupting him and Nami, who both look at him curiously. “Can you cook for a wedding?”
Sanji leans forward, chuckling. “Any cook worth their salt can cater a wedding.”
“How long does it take?” Luffy tilts his head. Sanji stretches nonchalantly, trying to impress Nami. “Well, back at Baratie, we once had to emergency cater a wedding for one of Zeff’s old buddies in under four hours. I think I could’ve managed it in two,” he winks. Nami rolls her eyes good-naturedly.
“Great!” Luffy claps him on the shoulder. “Make sure there’s meat!”
Sanji raises a curly eyebrow. “…Come again?”
Luffy grins like it’s obvious. “For the wedding. In two hours.”
Sanji’s eyes bulge. He had been kidding about the timeline. “I, uh, meant three—what wedding?”
The others have noticed, now, and flocked over. Brook plays quieter as Chopper gets excited. “Ooh, a wedding? Are those fun?”
Robin smiles down at him and pats his head. “Perfect excuse to use those new outfits we got last shopping trip…”
Nami consults her log pose nervously, confused. “We’re still miles out from the next island, I don’t know who we know…”
“Me and Zoro,” Luffy shrugs. “It’s no big deal. But I want meat.”
Brook’s violin squawks. Everyone goes dead silent. Jinbe glances around at the other in confusion, the first to speak. “I wasn’t aware that the two of them were…er…”
Nobody can reply. Nami tries to pick the right question to press, squinting vaguely at the air. “You’re getting married…”
“…To mosshead?!” Sanji finishes, utterly stupefied.
“Mhm,” Luffy says, clapping his hands. “In two hours. I’m gonna go take a nap, wake me up when the food’s ready.” He turns on his heel and starts to walk away.
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” Nami shrieks, lunging from her chair and knocking the table (and Sanji) over backwards to grab Luffy by the collar. “You have to get READY.”
Rather squished, Luffy manages a hasty protest. “But it’s not a big—”
“THE FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES IS GETTING MARRIED, LIKE HELL IT’S NO BIG DEAL!WE’RE GONNA DO THIS RIGHT!” Nami roars, smacking him in the back of the head. Luffy wheezes. She starts hyperventilating in the same breath. “Oh, GOD, I only have two hours to set up—and I have to go get ZORO ready, GOD knows he won’t do it himself—Chopper! Come help me!”
Chopper scampers over, determinedly excited. Sanji, at the same time, has vanished in a frenzy for the kitchen. A wedding feast in only two hours?! He thinks in a panic. Why did I have to exaggerate so much?!?!
“What do you need us to do, Nami-san?” Robin tries gently, before she can dash out the door.
Nami whirls around, flustered, already planning a million things in her head. “Right! Um, invite anyone who can make it here in two hours. Jinbe, find Franky and Usopp and have them start setting all the chairs we have out on the Grass Deck, I’ll be out to direct as soon as I handle the—also Brook do music! Okay? Okay, go, go go!”
Everyone hurries off. Robin makes a beeline for the nearest den den mushi, muttering to herself. I think the Heart Pirates should still be close enough…Sabo can make it no matter what… Brook skips over to a corner, afro bouncing. “Yo ho ho! This should be a fun composition!” The door SLAMs loudly behind Nami, Jinbe, and Chopper, as rapid-fire clinking emanates form the kitchen. Smoke billows into the dining room, and Luffy (who was forgotten in the panic) sniffs deeply. His eyes light up. “Ah!”
Usopp is hiding in the crow’s nest, pretending to watch birds on the horizon. Sweat drips down his forehead. “Nobody knows it’s my fault, nobody knows it’s my fault…”
“USOPP!” Jinbe bellows from the helm. He nearly jumps out of his skin. “Oh, Jinbe, what was that? You want me to stay here? You got it, boss!”
“THE CAPTAIN’S GETTING MARRIED, IDIOT, COME HELP US SET UP CHAIRS!” Franky replies. One of his hands has a microphone setting, and it whines so loud Usopp is startled and falls out of the crow’s nest. Jinbe catches him. “Oof—ah! Jinbe, you messed up my epic landing!”
“Sorry,” Jinbe says, amused.
“This whole wedding thing’s happening really fast. Did you overhear Luffy and Zoro talking about it from up there?” Franky asks as Usopp scrambles out of Jinbe’s arms and they start for the storehouse. Usopp smiles, too wide. “Nope! Those weirdos are probably just in it for the meat and the booze, hahahahaha!” His eyes flick between them nervously.
Franky and Jinbe laugh along. Usopp relaxes, and they start tugging out chairs in peace. Jinbe carries like ten at a time, Usopp tries and fails to do the same (managing around six), and Franky starts yapping about whipping up an arch with some spare Treasure Adam Wood.
Meanwhile, Nami kneels in front of Chopper by the flower beds. “Chopper! Listen, I need you to make flower arrangements, around twenty will do but make more if you have time. Track down Usopp and get him to use his weird magic seeds to grow more when you can. Okay?”
She’s bolted away before Chopper can even reply. “ZORO! Are you SLEEPING right now?!”
“Okay!” the reindeer chirps anyways, settling into the flower bed and narrowing his eyes. Poor Zoro. Here goes nothing!
…
“Luffy!” Brook calls from across the room, where he’s plucking his violin thoughtfully. Luffy, busy peering over the bar and salivating, doesn’t tear his eyes away as he responds. “Mm?”
“Do you have any preference for wedding music? Something to dance to, genres you like, tones you’ve considered?”
Luffy sniffs and almost passes out. He shakes himself. “Uh…I dunno. You’re the musician.”
“Too true!” Brook beams, whipping out his bow. “Well, then, I’ll compose something that perfectly encapsulates you and the swordsman! The guests will laugh, and cry, and laugh again, just hearing it!”
Sanji, not realizing Luffy is lurking on the other side, sets down a nearly-finished plate of fish on the bar and turns away. Luffy grabs it and swallows it in one gulp, turning back around to face Brook in satisfaction. “Ahh…” he licks his fingers. “Oh! Zoro likes drinking. You should play a song about booze.”
Brook gives Luffy a glare. “A mere drinking song is insufficient for such a momentous occasion, don’t you think?”
“What’s wrong with your face?”
“I’m glaring at you!”
“Oh. I couldn’t tell.”
“That’s because I don’t have eyes!” Brook harrumphs, crossing his arms and turning his back to the captain. “Leave me alone to compose in peace!”
Luffy shrugs. “Okay.” He scrambles back up to peek over the bar, where more food has gathered, and his eyes shine. In an instant, he’s run into the kitchen and started snatching things. Sanji yelps. “Luffy! How did you get—put that down!”
His hands are full, bearing a saucepan of fried rice and a spatula, and he fumbles about for a place to put them down as Luffy rampages around the kitchen, desperate to taste everything. Luffy ends up right in front of him, sticks his hand in Sanji’s saucepan, and swallows half the rice with a delighted noise. Sanji’s eyes flash. “STOP THAT!”
“But it’s soooo good, Sanji!” Luffy whines, shoving another handful of rice into his mouth. Sanji gives up. He flings the saucepan and spatula into the air, kicks Luffy squarely in the chest, and has him in a chokehold under his arm just in time to catch the equipment on its way down.
“Hey! It’s gonna be my food eventually, isn’t it?”
“Shut up,” Sanji grumbles, setting the saucepan on the counter and dragging Luffy towards the door. “You’re supposed to be getting ready, anyways. Who let you in here?”
Luffy picks at his teeth, watching the food vanish behind the closing door in fleeting misery. “Myself. Everyone else ran off, and Brook told me to leave him alone. Why’s everyone going so crazy about me and Zoro getting married, anyway? It’s not like it’s a big deal.”
“People like to party, and a wedding is the most important kind,” Sanji sighs, kicking open the boys’ room door. Empty. Had he heard Nami yell something about the Grass Deck? “So it is a big deal. That’s the whole point.”
Luffy rolls his eyes. “But it’s just so I can become King of the Pirates.”
Sanji snorts, heading outside. Everyone is indeed on the Grass Deck, surrounded by a pile of chairs while Nami yells her head off about putting them in rows, not columns. “What does marrying that green-haired idiot have to do with becoming Pirate King?”
“Zoro’s gonna be the pirate queen. It’s required. Usopp told me. Can you put me down—ah!”
Sanji drops him before he can finish asking out of shock. His eyes narrow, zeroing in of the sniper far below. “Usopp said what.”
Luffy gets to his feet, huffing and straightening his hat. “The whole having a queen requirement!”
“Luffy.” Sanji grabs him suddenly by the shoulders, apron tangling in his haste as he whirls around. “Please tell me you didn’t just decide to marry the nearest crew member.”
Luffy chuckles, shrugging him off with a curious glance. “Of course not, you think I’m stupid?”
Sanji steps back, trying to gauge what he could possibly mean. If Usopp had made up some lie about needing a queen of the Pirates…was this an easy excuse for Luffy to marry Zoro because he actually wanted to, or was it a randomly selected queen that he’d been tricked into getting engaged to and would be pissed about later?
He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking for his cigarettes. He’d left them in the kitchen. “So…you want to marry mosshead?”
“Mhm.” Luffy nods.
“Not just cause of the queen thing?” Sanji says delicately.
“I mean, mostly cause of the queen thing,” Luffy replies, scratching his head.
Sanji groans, internally swearing at the troublemaking sniper. “Usopp made that up, Luffy, you don’t need a queen. You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to…”
At that moment, before Sanji could push hopefully on the mostly part, Nami drags Zoro up the stairs, still on a rampage. “IN ROWS, YOU DUMMIES! NOT LIKE—Sanji, Luffy what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be cooking, and YOU’RE supposed to be getting ready! Get—get in there—" With Zoro’s shirt still held captive in a deadlocked claw, she starts trying to force Luffy into the boys’ cabin with a series of well-placed slaps. In the middle of processing, he is startled enough to obediently scamper inside, hissing like a rat. Nami kicks the door shut and whirls on Sanji, finally releasing Zoro. He immediately heads for the dining room, vanishing inside. “Oh, hey, Brook…”
“Are you not a COOK?” Nami screeches. “Should you not be COOKING—?”
Sanji puts a hand on her shoulder, half-getting her attention and half-holding her back. His voice is flat. “Luffy decided to marry Zoro because Usopp made up a lie about needing a queen.”
Nami goes completely still. Sanji pats her. “Yeah, I’ve got it.” He starts for the stairs, preparing to jump down and knock Usopp senseless, but Nami rapidly regains her senses and grabs his arm. “Wait wait wait—are you sure? Do you think they’d really agree to get married if they didn’t want to? What exactly happened?”
“I don’t know,” Sanji shrugs, placing a foot on the railing and pointing with his chin. “But I bet he does.”
Nami stares at Usopp for a beat. He sniffs the wind, suddenly, as if sensing the danger, and turns around to look at them. His eyes widen.
“Yeah,” Nami says, slowly, getting her climate baton out of her shirt. “Yeah. Let’s go ask him.”
…
Brook hums to himself, marking a few notes down on paper before raising his bow again. He could’ve composed this song at a rock concert put on by tone-deaf howler monkeys, but it was certainly still nice to have some peace and quiet. Especially now that Sanji had left, too, and there were so many delectable smells coming from the kitchen…He started to play, teasing the melody this way and that, but ending in a squawk when Zoro burst in and broke his concentration. The swordsman shuts the door behind him, looking somewhat put out. “Oh, hey, Brook. It’s crazy out there, be careful.”
“Ah! Zoro! Just the soon-to-be-wed I wanted to see!” Brook grins, waving him over.
Zoro does so, standing with his arms crossed by the window and peering out peevishly, clearly on edge. Brook claps him on the shoulder. “Oh, I can’t blame your nervousness, I’ve played at plenty of weddings and I’ve seen plenty of nervous grooms, yo ho ho! Why, there was this one fellow who puked on his wife before she even made it halfway down the aisle…I’m sure that won’t happen here, though. Please don’t puke.”
Zoro’s eyes narrow. “Who’s getting married?”
Brook gawks, jaw clattering to the floor. “Why—you! You and the captain! Did he not tell you?”
“Oh,” Zoro sniffs. “No, I guess he did ask. I thought I dreamed that.”
“WHAAAAAT?” Brook’s jaw, which had only barely made it back to its typical resting place, clatters to the floor once more. “Goodness. Now that is strange. But I suppose you two have always been like that…” He thinks, skull crinkled, and scribbles a note or two down on his lyric sheet. “Well, anyways! Do you have any ideas about the music? Any genres you like, songs you have, that sort of thing? Oh, or maybe you should tell me the proposal story, I love those.”
Brook leaps into an armchair and folds up, propping his chin on his fists, still clutching the bow. “Go on!”
Zoro scratches his head, unimpressed. “He asked. I said sure. We decided there should be meat and booze. Oh, you should play that one song with the booze…Binks’ Sake. That one. Luffy likes it.”
Brook’s face, cutesy and excited seconds prior, collapses into a much darker shape. Zoro squints at it.
“Binks’ Sake is not a wedding song! You two are impossible!” Brook laments, loudly.
“What’s wrong with your face?”
He becomes altogether more frightening, standing and looming at his full height. “I’m glaring at you!”
“Oh.” Zoro replies, unbothered. “Sorry. Couldn’t tell.”
“That’s because I don’t have eyes!” Brook screams, stomping his foot. “Out! You uncultured swine have no respect for music as an art! Binks’ Sake! At a wedding?! Get out!”
Zoro, a little freaked out, makes his way to the door. “Weird-ass skeleton…”
When he gets outside, he expects to be tackled by Nami. Or Chopper. Or Usopp. Or Luffy. Or anyone, really, considering he’s apparently about to get married and went missing. Instead, Zoro sees quite the scene unfolding. After a little yelling and exclamations from Nami and Sanji, the entire crew has begun to chase Usopp around the ship. The sniper is running for his life, babbling some nonsense about hearing a story from a guy at a bar and being totally legit, which, evidently no one buys—or hears—as they continue to shout and give chase.
Zoro stands awkwardly by the railing above the Grass Deck, forgotten in the chaos. Luffy, equally ignored, strolls out of the boy’s cabin and grins, seeing him. He joins the swordsman at the railing, hopping up onto it and crossing his legs. “This is crazier than I expected.”
“This is sooner than I expected,” Zoro replies with a sigh. Usopp, still dashing around the mast, has finally been cornered with some help from Robin’s giant hands.
Luffy raises his eyebrows, clapping his sandals together. “When did you think we’d get married?”
Zoro squints. “Not…like, immediately after you asked.”
Flower petals poof across the deck. Usopp had shot Robin with a marble to break her concentration, and he was now scaling the rigging like a manic housecat.
“Oh. Sorry. Do you want to wait?”
Zoro shifts. “Do you?”
Luffy doesn’t answer, glancing over his shoulder at the chase, which is now more of an aerial assault. “Turns out we don’t actually have to get married. Usopp was just making stuff up.”
“He convinced you to propose?”
“He said I needed a queen to become King of the Pirates!” Luffy protests. “It made sense, cause Gold Roger had Ace’s mom and everything—”
“I’m not a girl! How would I be your queen?” Zoro barks, eyebrows cinching. Luffy throws up his hands. “I dunno!”
“Do you even want to get married, then?”
There’s a pause, where they both go silent and the only thing within earshot is the screeches of the still-furious crew below. But neither of them can hear that, so concentrated on each other that if an enemy vessel were to suddenly start blowing the Sunny to pieces they would just keep staring. Luffy’s eyes widen. Zoro looks at the ground, mouth a thin line. He hadn’t meant to let his feelings leak out through his tone.
But Luffy can tell. Luffy can always tell. Whether it’s observation haki, uncanny empathy, or something else altogether, he can always tell with Zoro.
So, now, he can sense Zoro’s fear as if it’s printed in neat writing across his forehead.
Luffy reaches out, gently taking the swordsman’s hand in both of his own. It’s as natural a gesture as Zoro resting a hand on his swords. “If I had to pick the person who I wanted by my side for the rest of my life…I chose you a long time ago, Zoro.” He runs his fingers over Zoro’s scars, his callouses, like he treasures every single one. “You’re afraid that I don’t want you. But I don’t ever act like I want you because I know you’re already mine.”
Zoro inhales, sharply. Luffy squeezes his hand with a grin. “You’re already mine, you hear? Getting married now would just be for show.”
Zoro chuckles, softly, putting his free hand over his face. “Luffy…”
“That’s why I picked you to marry,” Luffy keeps going, oblivious. “Figured it was the most straightforward way to go, since we’re staying together forever anyways. And I thought you probably wouldn’t mind. But if you do, then we shouldn’t.”
“I want to,” Zoro interrupted, unable to hold back a smile. “I mean, I feel the same way, like it doesn’t really matter except in name, but…” His eyes flick over Luffy’s shoulder. Luffy turns around, watching Usopp finally get caught and offer up a sweaty explanation to the curious crew. “…those idiots got all excited. It’d be a shame if they went to all this trouble for nothing.”
Luffy hops off the railing, beaming, and gives Zoro a hug, arms stretching the slightest bit to wind all the way around. “I like it when you care about them.” He pulls back, eyes alight. “Also! Sanji has to finish that feast. It was delicious so far.”
“I’ll be excited once he gets out the booze,” Zoro says seriously. Luffy nods, equally genuine, and then the crew storms up the stairs at them. Well, Nami and Sanji do most of the storming. Robin and Jinbe just seem amused, while Chopper and Franky and Usopp are more on the worried side.
“You two are aware that this dummy made up the queen of the pirates thing?” Nami starts, hands balled into fists as she jabs a thumb in Usopp’s direction. He gulps, captive, sandwiched between Jinbe and Franky.
“Mhm!” Luffy nods enthusiastically.
“We’re still gonna get married, though,” Zoro finishes the thought and answers the question hanging over them before it can be asked.
“When we said,” Luffy clarifies, sniffing eagerly just thinking about the food. “In an hour!”
“An HOUR—hold on—” Sanji starts.
“You are!?” Usopp squawks, before straightening victoriously. “See? Like I TOLD you guys, it was all part of my PLAN! This was ESSENTIALLY INEVITABLE—”
Sanji kicks him in the shin, still furious. Usopp yelps. “Yeah, well, then it’s still your fault that I have to cook a wedding feast in an hour! At least keep Luffy out of my kitchen!”
Luffy, who’s taken a sneaky step towards the kitchen, freezes in his tracks, shocked at already being caught. Nami rubs her forehead, trying to smooth out the stress creases. “God…okay, people, wedding’s still on, we’ve got to hurry up. Robin, you called everyone?”
Robin nods, serious, pulling out a list from her jacket. It unfurls to reach the floor. “A surprising number of people were in range. We may need more chairs.”
“I can handle that!” Franky grins, taking the list and pressing on his nose. His hair starts to shapeshift. “In fact, we’ve got the setup covered, Nami-san.”
Jinbe nods, patting her gently on the shoulder. “You explained it well. We’ll take it from here.”
“Usopp, come help me with the flowers, I need some more!” Chopper squeals excitedly, tugging on his hand. Usopp gives Sanji an apologetic grin before letting the reindeer pull him back down to the Grass Deck. Luffy, sensing opportunity, takes another tiny step towards the kitchen—and immediately bumps into a Robin clone. He harrumphs. She titters, takes him by the arm, and heads for the boys’ cabin in a pouf of flower petals. “Come on, captain, I’ll show you the new outfits. I’ll set them out for everybody else, too,” she calls over her shoulder for Nami’s benefit.
Sanji winks, “Better get back to the kitchen, then,” and hurries off. When he opens the door, the purr of a violin can be heard from inside the dining room as Brook practices his new piece.
Suddenly finding herself without a million things to do, Nami steps back and leans against the railing, feeling ten times lighter. She smiles, cautiously. “Well.”
Then she looks to her right and sees Zoro, who has sat back down and looks as though he’s about to fall asleep again. And Nami finds herself a new mission. Her conviction blooms back tenfold. “WELL.”
Zoro’s eyes fly open in a panic—a moment too late, as she’s already grabbed him by the shirt again. “You are COMING WITH ME, MR. BUSHIDO.” She hauls him to his feet, somehow, despite him still being a head taller than her. “We have an hour! You aren’t even dressed!”
“You seriously think Luffy’s gonna dress up for this?” Zoro protests, crossing his arms defensively. “I don’t want to be the only fancy one. Then I’ll look stupid.”
Nami’s eyes flash, smiling dangerously. “You. Get. Dressed. Up. For. Weddings. I have faith in Robin, she’ll get Luffy dressed right. But in the meantime, I’m going to help you.”
Why did that sound like a threat, Zoro thinks, grimacing, as she tugs him into the girls’ cabin.
…
Robin’s arms are everywhere. Luffy is slightly disorientated by the time he finds himself in a chair in front of the mirror in the boys’ cabin, as he’d lost track of which arms were Robin Robin and which Robins were Robin clones and what she was trying to do to begin with.
Robin was trying to do a lot of things, which, luckily, she was well suited for. A conveyor belt of arms was scrounging through the closet and pulling out the boys’ nice clothes while a waist-up clone waited at the ironing board to freshen them up. Another clone was bringing in her own dress, and several other items that the boys’ cabin lacked, while a few spare arms tidied up the room in general. She didn’t like it messy.
The real Robin settles behind Luffy, gently taking off his hat. He looks up at her, not alarmed in the least. “What are you doing?”
“Helping,” she says, smiling. “Nami-chan wanted you to get ready for the wedding.”
“I am ready,” Luffy’s stomach growls loudly in agreement. “Aren’t we just gonna eat and stuff?”
Robin giggles, picking up a comb. “I’m fairly certain Nami had a more formal ceremony in mind.”
“Oh.” Luffy kicks his feet, watching closely in the mirror as she starts combing his hair. “I can do that, If you want.”
“I’ve got it. Have you ever been to a wedding before?”
“Well, Sanji’s. That one was pretty, and the food looked good. But we smashed it up and stuff. I think that doesn’t usually happen.” Luffy starts to relax as Robin combs, leaning back in the chair with a sigh. “I don’t get why everyone’s acting like it has to be a big deal, though! You all already know how me and Zoro are, it’s not like this is gonna change anything. It’s not like we’re suddenly in love.”
Robin passes herself a small bottle from the items she brough in, pours it into her hand, and rubs a little into Luffy’s hair. “You do love each other, though, quite a bit.” Luffy starts to interject, but she raises a spare hand. “I know, I know. Not like that. But however you love each other, you’re happy. And we’re happy that you’re happy, and we haven’t ever gotten the chance to celebrate it. That’s why we’re excited about the wedding.”
“Huh.” Luffy blinks, staring up at the ceiling. “Celebrate…me and Zoro…being happy.”
A grin breaks out on his face, shining wildly. “Well that’s alright, then! Thanks, Robin. That was way better than how Sanji explained it.” He kicks his feet up on the vanity. A pair of Robin’s arms push them off again as she smiles back. “You’re welcome, captain. Are you alright with not wearing your hat? I don’t want to mess up your hair.”
Luffy sits up to look at it in the mirror and struggles not to make a face. It looks much more emo than he had anticipated. He’d forgotten that while Robin could cut hair no problem, she tended to have some…different stylistic opinions than the rest of the crew. He sweats, blurting, “Um…I’d rather wear it! But it looks great, thanks!”
Robin smiles, genuinely happy, and hangs his outfit up on the edge of the mirror. “Alright. Here’s your clothes. I’ve got to go pass out everyone else’s, too, so I’ll leave you alone to change. Someone will come get you when it’s time.”
“Okay,” Luffy replies as she picks up the pile of neatly ironed clothes and walked out the door, giving a cute little wave over her shoulder. He waves back. The second the door is closed, he attacks his hair with fury, mussing it back up again until it looks normal. “Whew! That was close, I would’ve looked stupid!”
Luffy stands, turning to look at the outfit Robin’s hung up. Surprisingly, he doesn’t hate it. The jacket looks uncomfortable, though, and he hasn’t tried to tie a tie since an unfortunate incident getting dressed on Whole Cake Island. He puts his hands on his hips. “Yeah, I’ve probably got this.”
…
Robin knocks on the door to the girls’ cabin She’s all dolled up and gorgeous, with her hair back in a tight, flower-adorned bun and a loose maroon dress falling down around her ankles. “I’ve got Zoro’s outfit! It was in the boys’ room with the rest of them.”
“Ah!” Nami flings the door wide open, snatches the coat hanger from Robin’s hands, and slams it in her face. “Thanks!”
Robin’s smile wavers, a little concerned, but then gets distracted when she sees the Lawn Deck. “Oh my goodness…”
“Here we go!” Nami demands, tossing the suit at Zoro. He catches it an instant before the hanger stabs his remaining eye out. “Watch it,” he snaps.
“YOU watch it!” Nami bites back, storming over to the mirror with wide, unhinged eyes. “I have to do my hair—and I have to go make sure they haven’t ruined the chairs—and I bet guests are arriving about now—and I think—I have to—”
Nami trails off, staring at herself in the mirror and resting a hand on the makeup table. Her head falls, back quivering. Adrenaline can only last so long. Zoro knows this look well, from every battle he’s ever fought. Nami’s been going nonstop for two hours straight, and even though she can muscle through it, the stress is taking a toll. Zoro raises his eyebrows at her, worried.
“Nami,” he says slowly, approaching her like you’d approach a wounded tiger. “We don’t…need all this. Marriage is just the usual way people swear loyalty to each other; me and Luffy have pretty much already done that. It’s just a formality at this point. If it’s too much…”
“No,” Nami barks, eyes flashing.
Then she pauses and sits back, laughing weakly. “I know. I know. I just…” she sniffs. “I just love you guys. You’re my family—my first real family, since Bellemere and Nojiko, and—and I know however you choose to do it you’ll be happy, and if you don’t want a wedding I can call it off right now…but I want the best for you. I want the stupid people in this world who don’t understand how love can work to recognize yours, and respect it. Like I do. Like the crew does.”
Nami looks up at Zoro, tears breaking loose. Love is a heavy weight. Her arms wind around herself. “Am I doing the right thing?” she whispers. “Should I just be beating up the stupid people, instead…?”
Zoro hugs her. She keeps crying for a moment, then hugs him back. He rests his chin on her head. “I love you too, Nami,” he says, grinning softly. “I don’t really care what the stupid people think. Luffy usually doesn’t, either. But if getting married is a way to show everyone that I’m staying with him forever, then that saves us some explaining.”
Nami relaxes a little in his arms. He squints. “Plus that dumb cook finally got out the good booze and I want it.”
Nami laughs, wiping away her tears and pulling back. “You’re an idiot. Go get changed, Luffy should be ready soon…OH GOD.” She leaps to her feet again, back in charge. “Who’s walking down the aisle? Did Luffy say he wanted to? Who’s walking him?”
“I don’t think he cares…” Zoro says, amused. He stands up, glancing at the outfit hanging on the mirror. “Can I keep my swords on?”
“NO!” Nami slaps him in the back of the head. “What, you think we’re getting attacked in the middle of a wedding?”
“Happened to Big Mom…” Zoro grumbles.
Nami spins on her heel and starts for the door. “I have to go talk to Luffy about the walking situation, be ready in—”
“Wait.” Zoro blurts. Nami pauses, door half open. He swallows, rubbing a hand over his face. “Ah…like you said, we’re…y’know, family…” He takes a breath. “Will you walk me?”
Nami freezes, jaw agape. She shakes herself, screeching. “DON’T MAKE ME CRY AGAIN!” She slams the door, throwing herself against it the second she’s outside and dabbing at her eyes. A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. “I’ll come get you in ten minutes!” she calls.
Zoro smiles from the other side of the door. He can still see her bright orange hair through the window.
Then he looks at the suit and the smile falls. It looks great, but entirely uncomfortable. He sighs.
…
Luffy shakes his head. “No!”
Sanji sucks in air through his teeth, glancing at his watch. Still three minutes before he has to go stir the soup, finish the cake, and get half of the many roasts out of the oven. “Luffy. Put the jacket ON.”
“No!” Luffy crosses his arms. “It looks itchy.”
Sanji tackles him. They scuffle on the floor for a minute, Luffy squawking in indignation, and after checking his watch again (with some difficulty, as one of Luffy’s arms was tangled around his own) Sanji changes tack. “Do you want Nami to be mad at you?”
Luffy pauses in rearing up his next punch. “No…”
Sanji untangles himself from his captain’s rubbery chokehold and stands up, brushing off his own coat. He pulls out a cigarette. “Then put the jacket on.” He offers it up.
Luffy pouts, then snatches it. “Fiiiiine.”
He’s rumpled from the fight. Sanji checks his watch. Still a minute. He sighs, pocketing his cigarettes, and starts straightening Luffy’s outfit. He tugs on his shirt, tucks a few wild hairs back into place (Luffy flinches and runs to the mirror, shoving his hat back on in a panic), and then glares at the tie on the floor. Luffy squirms.
“Hold still.” Sanji picks it up and ties it for him, then leads him over to the tiny mirror in the boys’ room. “There you go. Not bad, right?”
Luffy tilts his head. “Little stuffy.” He turns to look at Sanji. “But thanks for your help! And the food. Mostly the food. Is there meat?”
Sanji rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Lots of it, captain, as promised. Though I still don’t know why you’re marrying that idiot mosshead to begin with.”
“Cause he’s mine.” Luffy shrugs, as if it’s that simple. Sanji grins. Perhaps, for him, it is. “I’ve got to go check on the meat. Wear the jacket.”
Luffy nods, going back to staring at the mirror. Sanji pauses at the door, thinking. His fingers itch for a cigarette, but he stops them. “Luffy?”
“Mm?” Luffy turns around, eyes wide.
Sanji bites his lip. “I…know I make a big deal about hating him, but…I really do like him for you. Do not tell him I said that.” He rubs the back of his neck. “And, er…the last wedding we went to kind of sucked, and broke up the crew for a bit…this one’s…not gonna change anything, is it?”
“Course not.” Luffy replies instantly, putting his hands on his hips. “Why would it?”
Sanji stares at him for a minute. He can feel the honesty radiating off of Luffy, like always. And the conviction. This is a promise. Nothing will change. We will still be the Straw Hat crew. I will still love you all the exact same. You, Sanji, will not mean any less to me.
Observation haki is a bitch sometimes. Sanji shuts the door and finally pulls out that cigarette, lighting it and taking a slow drag. Nami charges past him, hopping on one foot to get on her other high heel. She spins around to talk to him, not stopping. “Sanji! The guests are coming in, go set out some food! We start in five minutes!”
“You look gorgeous!” he hollers after her as she gets her shoe on and tears around the corner to the Lawn Deck.
“Hurry up!” she roars back. Sanji swoons and waltzes back to the kitchen.
…
“Hey, Traffy!” Chopper waves over the side of the ship as the Heart Pirates’ submarine surfaces alongside the Sunny. He’s put his fancy clothes on—which consists of a bowtie and a children’s-sized button up shirt—and even put on shoes for the occasion.
Trafalgar Law pops his head out of the top of the vehicle. Bepo waves over his shoulder, and Chopper beams. Law rolls his eyes. “Hi.”
“Glad you guys could make it,” Sabo calls, already on board. Him and Koala had arrived moments prior, blazing across the ocean on a vehicle not unlike Ace’s old fire-powered boat Striker. “How long’s it been, Law?”
“Two months,” Law replies evenly, leaping aboard and shaking Sabo’s proffered hand. They’re both well-dressed, too. Law’s in something that you could even call gown-adjacent. Nobody questions it. “Is it starting soon?”
“Yup!” Chopper says, gesturing towards a row of seats on the Lawn Deck. “Take your pick! Front row is Straw Hats only, though.”
The Deck has been completely transformed. The chairs, mismatched as they are, are decorated with little bouquets, and the aisle is lined with enormous flowers blooming and waving in the wind, courtesy of Usopp’s weird magic seeds. Franky managed to build an arch out of the Treasure Adam Wood, like he said, and it’s impressively carved on such short notice and also bedecked in the huge flowers. Brook stands on a little stool, playing music up front, and the Straw Hats are all running around, showing guests to seats. Most of Luffy’s self-proclaimed fleet captains have brought their higher level officers, Vivi brought her dad and Karu, and King Neptune brought Shirahoshi and the princes. Jinbe is trying to sort out a way for Princess Shirahoshi to get a good vantage point without sinking the ship when Franky pulls out his hand-megaphone and clears his throat from the crows’ nest. “AHEM—Everybody get sitting, we’re about to start!”
Chopper scampers to his seat in the front row, between Robin and Usopp. Brook nods at him from the pedestal. Franky hurries down and takes his seat on the end. Sanji strides up, dragging Luffy, and stands him up front. Luffy’s unable to stop waving at all of his friends and allies, excited out of his mind. He did, in fact, put the jacket on, but didn’t button it up. Sanji doesn’t even have time to be exasperated before he has to sit down next to Franky. Brook has started the new song.
Jinbe takes his place up front in the nick of time, wearing ceremonial fishman robes. He’s officiating. The door at the far end of the Lawn Deck swings open, and Nami slowly walks out with Zoro on her arm. She’s beaming, hair cascading down her back, in an ocean blue form-fitting dress. Nobody can tell by looking at her that seconds prior she’d been wrestling Zoro’s swords off of him and flinging them back into the cabin before dragging him outside. They can, however, tell by looking at Zoro, cause he’s somewhat put out and his jacket’s wrinkled, but nobody cares.
Brook’s song carries them down the aisle, step by step. Usopp’s flowers puff out rotating seed pods as they go by, floating through the air in a storm of gold. The crowd (Luffy included) is amazed. Nami almost starts crying, but holds it together by squeezing Zoro’s arm tighter. He squeezes back.
Luffy’s so excited he’s started bouncing in place, watching Zoro and Nami approach in the swarm of glitter. He wants to shoot his head into the sky, shriek, and come back down. In fact, he’s genuinely considering it. Maybe Nami wouldn’t notice…
But then Nami is taking her seat next to Sanji and Brook’s song is wrapping up and Jinbe is clearing his throat and Zoro’s already standing in front of him.
“Friends, family—” Jinbe begins.
Luffy leaps forward and tackles Zoro in a hug, almost knocking him over backwards. He’s beaming. Zoro’s taken off guard and staggers briefly before setting Luffy back upright, holding back laughter.
“This is so fun you look awesome everyone’s here did you see?” Luffy whispers in a rush. Zoro tries unsuccessfully to act annoyed. “Course I saw, I just walked here.”
Luffy grins, reading his mind like always. Jinbe clears his throat again, not unkindly, and the captain releases his swordsman to resume standing somewhat still. “Friends, family; allies, nakama. We’re here today because Luffy and Zoro—captain and first mate of the Straw Hat Pirates—have made incredible differences in all of our lives. Generally by causing a lot of trouble and eventually murdering our enemies.”
“Hey!” Luffy and Zoro start, but they’re drowned out by the giggles and chuckles of their grateful audience. Nami has, at last, started crying, though she’s trying desperately to hide it by covering her face with her hair. Chopper’s bawling silently in Robin’s arms. Half the audience, thinking back to those murdered enemies and the hijinks of adventures past, have begun to tear up too.
“And,” Jinbe continues, eyes bright. “They’re bonded together for the rest of their lives. I’ll make this quick, cause I know they really just want to get to the feast—”
More laughter, louder this time, rattles across the Sunny. Luffy’s stomach growls over the din.
“—So do you, Roronoa Zoro, take the future King of the Pirates to be your husband?”
“Yes,” Zoro answers immediately, unwavering. Luffy looks like he wants to launch at him again, fidgeting madly, so Jinbe hurries to ask the second question. “And do you, Monkey D. Luffy, take the future greatest swordsman to be your husband as well?”
“YEAH!” Luffy shouts, jumping up and down like gravity no longer applies to him. His smile is absolutely radiant, matched only by the poorly disguised joy on Zoro’s face.
“Well, then.” Jinbe’s smile widens. “By the power vested in me as helmsman, I now pronounce you married.”
Zoro’s eyebrows suddenly knot, and he whips to stare at Jinbe. “…We don’t have to kiss, right?”
“WOOOOOOOOO!” Luffy completely ignores the question and jumps at Zoro, who sees it coming this time and catches the captain in his arms bridal style. “HE’S MINE, GUYS! I HAVE THE WORLD’S GREATEST SWORDSMAN!”
The pirates and kings and princesses and revolutionaries all clap and cheer, standing and throwing their hats and whistling in excitement. Sabo shoots a spurt of fire into the sky, and Usopp’s flowers give a mighty, final heave of seed pod glitter, which spins down over the whole lawn. Bartolomeo appears to have fainted. All of the Straw Hat crew members in the front row are crying, surging forward to hug their captain and first mate in a massive, squashed pile. The crowd waits for further instructions for a minute, but once it’s clear that the Straw Hats and newlyweds are temporarily incapacitated, Vivi stands up on her chair and takes over. “Alright, everyone, looks like the food is over there! Captain Law, would you open the sake?”
Law, seated closest to the food table and decently aged barrels, looks like a deer in headlights and freezes as everyone turns to look at him, but Bepo handles it and smacks the lids off of the containers. “Enjoy!” He roars. The crowd cheers again, and they help themselves to Sanji’s food.
This manages to awaken the cook from his emotional stupor. He swats tears away and squeezes out of the hug-blockade, making a beeline for the kitchen. Still have to bring out most of the feast…
Zoro’s head snaps up as he smells the booze. “Okay, that’s my cue. Move it!”
Nami smacks him in the back of the head. Usopp’s still sniffling, dabbing daintily at his eyes with Sanji’s handkerchief, muttering “I knew it…all part of my plan…you’re welcome…” in between snorts. Robin and Jinbe back up to comfort Franky, who’s cycled through crying about Luffy saving Water Seven, having a family, and the beauty of love and ended up in the midst of an existential crisis about being single. Brook dashes back to his stool, striking up a merry tune—Binks’ Sake, at which he sighs in peaceful resignation as Luffy cheers. Chopper runs off after Zoro to help distribute food and drinks, but somehow is beaten to the table by Luffy, cutlery already in hand and stomach growling like a rusty train.
Sanji emerges from the kitchen, massive dishes of food balanced all over, and hands approximately half of them to Luffy. “Your meat, captain. Don’t worry, there’s more coming.”
Luffy whoops and tucks in. Sanji sets down the rest of his fresh dishes on the quickly emptying table and procures a bottle from a back pocket, offering it to Zoro (who’s already a barrel or two in). Zoro raises an eyebrow. “But you already got out the good stuff.”
“Well,” Sanji gives him a lopsided grin. “This is the really good stuff.”
Zoro sniffs, takes it, and chugs half the bottle. His looks up, eyes alight. “Ah!”
“You’re welcome!” Sanji calls, walking backwards up the stairs to the kitchen with a merry wave. Perona appears in the crowd and waves back, eerie expression taking over her face. Sanji frowns. Who invited her?
A massive belch rings out across the Sunny. Luffy has finished already. “SAAAANJIIII!”
“Coming!” Sanji cries, shaking his head with a chuckle. He rolls up his sleeves and heads back into the kitchen.
The feast lasts until nightfall. Between mouthfuls of meat Luffy runs around saying hi to all the friends he’d missed, and everyone is delighted to see and congratulate him. Zoro mostly keeps to himself, speaking only when approached (which is more often than he’d like) but him and Sabo have a little drunken fun and almost set fire to one of the sails. The swordsman eventually resolves to hiding behind Perona when people try to talk to him after he’s tired out. But, for hours on end, the Straw Hat crew has a grand old time, laughing and drinking and catching up and dancing to merry tune after merry tune, long after the moon rises and friends start heading back to their ships and adventures of their own.
Eventually, tired out, Vivi sinks down next to Nami on an overturned sofa, panting from dancing. She’s the last guest left, promising Cobra she’d catch up on Karu in the morning. “Whew,” she wheezes.
“You can say that again,” Nami breathes, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. Her cheeks are red from drinking, and her hair’s a mess. Luffy charges over, grinning. “Hey, Vivi! Are you the last one? Wanna dance some more?”
“I’ll pass this time, Luffy. You have fun.” Vivi waves, still winded. Luffy shrugs and starts to head back over to heckle Brook for another song, but Zoro appears at his side and drags him up to the helm. Nami can tell they’re both a little tipsy, from the way they keep spontaneously attacking furniture.
“They always do this,” Nami mutters, distantly happy. Vivi turns to look at her. “When they’re drunk, they think everything’s funny and just won’t stop giggling. It’s always over the dumbest stuff, too…”
Vivi chuckles, leaning her head on the navigator’s shoulder. “Well. Good for them.”
Sanji and Robin have started cleaning up. They’re the only ones awake enough to make an effort—everyone else is sprawled over a chair or two, fast asleep. Zoro and Luffy are at the helm, talking in hushed voices broken up by fits of laughter. Vivi’s eyelids flutter. “What do you suppose they’re talking about?”
Nami winds an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm gently, squinting at the two in the distance.
Nami may be half-asleep and half-drunk, but she knows Luffy and Zoro. She’s been with them since the beginning. She can read them as easily as she can read the clouds in the sky, smell a storm on the breeze, or sense lightning before it strikes. She knows every tilt of the head, twitch of the shoulders, and clench of the fist. And right now, bathed in moonlight, as they lean over the railing with their elbows knocking together, she can sense, innately, what they’re doing.
“They’re dreaming,” Nami whispers into Vivi’s hair. “In their minds, they’ve already defeated Mihawk, found Raftel. So they dream of now. This moment is the beginning of a dream, over and over and over again. And they’re happiest when they dream together.”
The princess is already asleep. Nami soon drifts off, too. At the helm, Zoro and Luffy are just silhouettes, starting out to find the One Piece like it’s the first time, making new vows all their own. Though they’re never really new. It’s just the world’s greatest swordsman and the King of the Pirates, silently promising to stay with each other in every universe, every adventure, every dream, even after the final page is turned and the last letter penned. They laugh like it will be their first and last. They’ve conquered the past, their dreams have won the days ahead, and all they want is this moment. This new, last, present dream, waiting for the sun to rise together.