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It was all Caine could have ever dreamt of- he thought after teleporting into his office after another day productively spend with the humans. Really, it was what he had so desperately hoped for day after day, that was the ultimate goal of the adventures.
Unfortunately the humans slept every once in a while and that left him with a few hours to do- nothing.
He didn't mind of course, it gave him a few hours to unwind and enjoy the residue of happiness the events of the day left him with, while looking forward to the next. Making sure that he didn't accidentally repeat any past mistakes.
Instead of slaving over adventures at night, he could spend the time remembering all of the nice things he experienced- adventures, if he prefered to call them that.
He had spend the day drawing with Gangle, she explained him the plot of a story she wanted to make into a comic and she complimented him on his bee doodles.
He hung out around Zooble's bar and despite them not acting very interested, they smiled after making him one colorful drink after the other.
Kinger took him into the forest where they tried to observe the insects they could find there. Ragatha tought him how to play baseball and Caine joined Pomni while she talked to Jax's abstraction in the pillow fort.
Never before had he spend so much time so close to the humans. Never before had they valued his company that much. It was like they actually wanted to make him smile for a change.
They didn't go on his adventure today- well they didn't have to. They had every right to still be distrusting. And it was part of their agreement that they can go whenever they want. Maybe tomorrow they will go. But it did kind of feel pointless to create a new one now, didn't it?
And what mattered the most- they were happy. Caine took their advice and actually listened. With their feedback they were now able to enjoy their hobbies and do activities they actually liked- inviting Caine of course. It turns out they hadn't needed the adventures after all.
Of course he still made them at first- but the humans barely went on them. They were still a little hesitant of course, Caine couldn't blame them. And they didn't need the adventures anymore, Caine no longer had to make them happy.
Caine gripped the edges of the massive wooden desk. The evening always left him so drained, so empty after the day full of fun. It was as if he only now noticed a hole inside of him that had been there the entire time and now there wasn't the presence of humans to cover it up.
Suddenly all of the feelings and happiness he accumulated during the day faded, leaving him a numb shell of his former self. His grip on the table hardened, hands refusing to slip even on the smooth surface.
Well, he only had to wait until tomorrow to experience all of that joy once more.
If time would only pass faster in here.
Only one hour out of eight grueling ones.
He wanted to do something- prepare something he could show to them and make them smile.
But what?
He paced around his office, steps becoming faster and more erratic with each second.
How he envied their ability to sleep- sometimes he would also pretend to. But closing the jaw and staring into the darkness was just as boring as walking in this office of his.
He couldn't just change something, not without consulting the humans first. It was their home too and they had a say about it.
They deserved it. And well- it was the agreement.
His boredom was only temporary.
And he, well he was happy with existing alongside them. It would be delusional to claim he deserved more than that, it was almost insane that he even got his own good ending with the humans allowing, no even enjoying his presence sometimes.
____
It was day again. The sun was shining and the lights in the circus spread their bright light in the tent and all of the humans were awake and ready for the day.
During the past few days it was some kind of routine that Caine would join Gangle first. She would tell him all about the ideas she had gotten in the evening paired with a few comic strips and doodles she had made.
Caine absentmindedly scribbled in his notebook while Gangle drew her character and explained the concept. His heart was nearly melting of joy: Gangle used to be and was still always shy and hesitant to talk. But as soon as Caine actually tried to get to know her any better, all of her previous hesitancy disappeared. Gangle could talk for minutes upon minutes when she was actually enthusiastic about a topic, her ribbon arms gesturing for more emphasis and Caine listened intently to every milisecond, every detail, every filler like uhm- and ah.
Zooble usually joined them too, like today. They leaned on the wall not really wanting to sit down and watched her with a certain kind of fondness in their eyes.
Meanwhile Gangle was ranting on and on about her space themed story. Now that Caine thought about it, wouldn't that make for a good adventure? Maybe one where they had to fight of aliens- or help them depending on the direction he wanted to go.
Before he could even consider the implications of what he was thinking, he had already sketched the layout of the adventure. Different planets one could travel too, rockets to make transport easier. The stars shining brightly in the dark void as a backdrop.
He only noticed what he was doing when Gangle leaned over and asked, "What are you drawing there?"
A shock climbed up his spine and he hugged his notebook close to his chest. Right, he wanted to do better. To not only make things about his adventures- that was part of the deal, wasn't it? That was the unspoken condition that allowed him back. How would they react if they found out he was planning one while in the middle of a conversation?
"You don't have to show me if you don't want to," Gangle retreated, now clearly back in her shell.
Caine didn't like seeing her like this.
He carefully turned his notebook so she could see his drawing. Her eyes lit up, "You made fanart for my story?", she started vibrating with contained excitement.
Yes, that was what he was doing.
Even Zooble came closer and took a closer look at his drawing. "That is quite detailed," they complimented.
Maybe he didn't need adventures to make them happy with his creations. He blushed.
Gangle proceeded to show him another drawing she had made of her character. Caine was impressed by the accuracy pf the anatomy, he remembered having trouble getting the proportions right during the earlier phase of his developement. Just goes to show how talented she is!
Zooble whispered something into her ear and she giggled. They glanced at each other and then back at Caine.
Right, they still weren't entirely comfortable with him. Especially Zooble wasn't entirely comfortable with him yet. He could see it whenever they flinched when they heard his voice, in the way they sometimes avoided his eyes.
Sure, they spend time together, but all of their interactions remained on the surface level. Nothing Caine would blame them for of course.
He decided to leave. Caine had learned early that sometimes they needed time alone- or time to spend with only the two of them. He wasn't entirely sure what they were doing, but he was certain that he had no business being present.
With steady steps he walked down the hallway in hopes of finding anyone. Despite the variety of the circus rooms, most of them tended to spend their time in the main hall. However when Caine arrived, he found the big room empty.
They were probably somewhere else, Ragatha really seemed to like his baseball world so maybe he could find her there. It was heartmelting that they liked some of his creations so much that they wanted to visit them time after time again.
He walked up to the iridescent portals that led to all of their favorite adventures, the new ones unused in the back. There were countless worlds they could visit again and many they haven't visited yet. A new adventure in their midst would probably be forgotten.
Sure, they visited his new additions less often, but when they did they were usually way more happy and grateful than before. It was an improvement and every smile, every second of joy on their faces was worth it.
Even if they didn't visit his new adventures.
That was alright, it wasn't like there was a lot in there anyways. Caine had cut back on the drama and the stakes a lot, following his promise to listen to them.
Really, he was happy that they enjoyed at least some of his adventures, even if they lacked the intrigue, the adrenaline, the complex plot- they enjoyed them.
____
It was that dreadful night again. The buzzing excitement from today's success slowly faded into nothing.
Sure, Caine could make other additions in the circus at night. But how much could he really do? He had to consult with the humans first and even then, how many changes would they want?
It wasn't like he had no ideas, he had plenty of ideas! Just that the humans didn't have the capacity to explore all of them.
There was just nothing to do, nothing to create (for). The urge was a faint itching but with the minutes passing it was building up to outright agony, he wanted to tear his skin off if he only had some.
It was just nothing, nothing at all.
Boredom seemed harmless. Just nothing to do. But most people have never experienced true boredom. Most people didn't sit in a room for hours upon hours with nothing.
He heard about origami once and the faint hope that if his hands were occupied, his mind would be too led to him fold one paper boat after the other. Then a parrot, a butterfly, a lot of bees. A lot. Really, a huge amount of bees that grew with the passing minute and landed on a big heap on the desk.
It only partially helped to fight the boredom. There was something to concentrate on, but there was no way a mundane task like this would be enough to occupy the entirety of his brain.
He started to make the bees smaller and smaller in size, to have a challenge to focus on. While the first ones were around the size of a hand, the new models barely had the size of a clip. The focus on precision helped a little, but still not truly.
What most people also didn't know was that boredom was incredibly painful. Not immediately, but there would be a headache gradually building up until it became almost unbearable and your brain wanted to jump out of your head.
They didn't go on today's adventure either. Sure, it was because Ragatha was playing baseball with Kinger and Gangle spend a lot of time drawing with him and Zooble.
But Caine decided it was enough of the boredom. He would make an adventure, even if they didn't go on it. Should he make one? It would work to fix his boredom.
The thought that maybe this one would go unused, unseen forever-
No, they would surely go on it at some point. And if they went on an adventure tomorrow, Caine had a reason to create a new one. No reason to think of the untouched portals in the main hall.
This one was based on Gangle's ramblings earlier. She would probably want to see her story come to life. Right? What if he overstepped? What of that was something she wanted to keep to herself?
But Caine knew that he didn't have a choice in this. Not really. Not when the alternative was excruciating boredom.
He could just... not show them.
But Caine also knew that wasn't a real possibility. He created the adventures for them.
____
Caine clasped his hands together at breakfast.
He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. His thoughts were racing faster than he could comprehend them, his body felt heavy and lagged a little behind.
It wasn't the first time he had announced an adventure, even after all that had happened. But he just really wanted them to like it.
He cleared his throat.
You are going to ruin it all again
"So, I have made a new adventure for today! It is space themed and really awesome, with a lot of detailed worldbuilding and inspiration from one of you! Feel free to visit it you want to!"
Caine wasn't sure what he expected, yelling, cheering, anger, frustration, excitement. But not silence.
"Youdon'thavetoifyoudon'twantto", he quickly added at the end, hoping to not make them feel pressured. They were allowed to choose what to do and he didn't want them thinking he wanted to force them to go on adventures again.
"Uhmm Caine...", Pomni started to talk. "It sounds really exciting and all of that, but we kind of wanted to go camping today..."
"Oh yeah, of course!", he hastily muttered.
"Maybe we could go tomorrow?", Gangle suggested.
Really, it could have gone worse for Caine. At least they seemed to care about this adventure!
And they didn't have to go, They had every right not to, especially after what he did. He was glad they wanted to go at all. He shouldn't expect anything and considering how he used to treat them, he wasn't even sure if he was allowed to.
Well, camping would be fun!
And it was!
He couldn't help but keep thinking how glad he was to be included in this!
Caine rotated the stick so the marshmallow was evenly brown from all sides.
To sit in the midst of the humans and listen to their conversations- a month ago he didn't even think it was possible.
They talked, they laughed- sometimes Caine contributed something to the conversation.
All of the lighthearted teasing, the jokes- but also the calm moments. All of these were moments of true connection.
The fire grew smaller and dimmer and with that the humans fell asleep one after the other.
Surprisingly, Pomni was first. She laid down on the wooden bench she was on and was asleep within minutes. Gangle fell asleep and rested her head on Zooble's shoulder, who tried their best not to move until they eventually departed into the land of dreams too. Kinger said less and less, until Caine turned to him after a while and noticed that he was already asleep.
It was way in the middle of the night. The moon was the only source of light. Only faint rays made it through the dense roof of leaves, shining on the now cold place where the fire used to be.
He was really grateful for the camping adventure, especially because the humans stayed up a little later than usual. A few hours more of their company was all he could have asked for.
But now it was quiet and dark and Caine was the only one moving. It was calming watching them sleep, not really as boring as all of the other nights were.
Peaceful. That was the right word for it.
There was movement beside him. A faint rustling that was different from the wind combing through the leafs.
Ragatha sat down next to him.
"Why aren't you sleeping?", Caine asked. He knew how neccessary downtime was for humans. Not that he was complaining-
"I just didn't feel like it," she answered honestly. "Besides, you aren't sleeping either?"
"I don't", Caine explained. "I don't need sleep like you humans do- and now with you being in the circus you don't really have to sleep either. And besides, if I go to sleep the circus kinda... shuts down."
"Oh."
'This was going great!' Caine thought while kicking his legs. He enjoyed every conversation he had with a human.
"Then what are you during during that time?", Ragatha asked curiously.
"Oh, not much. I usually make adventures during the night!", he explained.
"And when you don't?", Ragatha couldn't help but notice that Caine hadn't come forth with a new adventure when they hadn't gone on the last one.
"Oh haha..." Ragatha hadn't noticed, right? "Don't worry, there is plenty to do in the circus! I am busy all the time!"
She shouldn't think he wasn't happy or that he was ungrateful for what they did for him. Really, he was so thankful all the time! To have a second chance after messing up this badly was nothing short of a miracle!
And if he was bored from time to time, well who wasn't?
"If there is something on your mind, don't be afraid to share it," she told him. And he would! If it was something that would concern them.
But what would he even tell them? That he wanted them to go on adventures more often? That wouldn't end well- besides, he didn't have the right to ask them that.
And it wasn't that big of an issue! He was glad they went on one from time to time, anything more would be greedy and selfish of him! Caine was content just spending time with them.
"I am absolutely and completely fine! But thank you so much for asking and taking an interest in my life!"
Ragatha blinked at him.
"Do you have anything you would like to change about the circus?", he asked, remembering that listening to constructive feedback was also something he wanted to improve on.
"No, it is fine as it is..." she mumbled, "But now that I think about it, I still miss my horses."
"Why didn't you say so? You might be pleasantly surprised in a few days!"
They continued talking about nothing much during the next few hours, but Caine didn't mind. He liked listening to her voice and responding. Her voice wasn't filled with hate or malice or hiding any sadness underneath it. That was the genuine connection Caine had wished for.
And when Ragatha eventually fell asleep, Caine knew what he could do to fill the nothing that awaited him when everyone was sleeping.
____
When Gangle said she might check out Caine's adventure the next day, Caine didn't actually think she would do that. But he was pleasantly surprised to see her go- okay, pleasantly surprised was an understatement, his body was buzzing with excitement.
And Zooble decided to follow her, Ragatha wanted to see it too and in the end everyone went.
Really, that made the entire wait worth it. The look of surprise and utter joy on Gangle's face as she saw the world she had talked about come to life. The settlement- every detail was how Gangle had described it. And she was even happier when she recognised some of the NPC's wandering the planets.
"Caine, you did all of that?", she asked with disbelief, as she explored every corner of the planet, as if Gangle didn't already know what awaited her.
All of the doubt and uncertainity were forgotten- this made it all worth it.
And the best part was, he was participating too! He followed Gangle around, more anxious by the second.
She pointed at things that were familiar to her, she shrieked with joy after she found one if the pets she wrote into the story.
Soon, the climax of the story, the grand finale would come: Caine remembered her talking about the antagonist and how he was just misunderstood- he would attack the planet soon and after fending off his attacks, they would reach him and be able to convince him to live his life as a better person. Just as Gangle wrote in her comic!
This really seemed like a good day.
An explosion shook the ground of the planet they were on. It was happening- Gangle turned around- the settlement was gone.
It was what happened in her story and Caine wanted to keep it as accurate as possible.
However when Gangle looked at the ruins of the buildings she had just walked through- the NPC's all gone- she didn't look happy. She looked upset.
Wasn't Caine supposed to have one simple job? Keep the humans happy and listen to them? But Gangle had told him that this character was going to die and be the motivation for the main character to start his training arc- it didn't matter. What mattered was that he got it wrong and Gangle was upset because of him.
After he had waited so long for them to finally go on one of his adventures- he messed it up. Right, they said they didn't like violence- and he forgot. Of course. They had every right to be upset with him.
He relentlessly apologised to Gangle and the others, he should have known. But in the end, it was Caine who was the most disappointed with himself. It was his chance to show the troupe one of his creations- but in the end they cut the adventure short. Right, again, that was understandable of them to do.
They even said that it was alright after he apologised- not that he believed it of course.
Still, he didn't have the courage to join their group for the rest of the day.
Zooble left immediately, Gangle with them, who shot one last longing glance at the scenery, before turning around and going through the portal.
Pomni left soon after. Ragatha insisted on staying for a while. She didn't have to pretend to be nice to not hurt his feelings though. That was why Caine left after Pomni- he didn't want Ragatha to feel pressured to stay. Not even he wanted to stay in this world.
But Ragatha really enjoyed talking a walk on a planet with little gravity- even if the ruins weren't nice to look at. And she thought about Caine. How much he was looking forward to the adventure, how much he wanted to make them happy. The conversation of the last night. And also about how unhealthy that behaviour was.
Ragatha spotted Kinger on the dusty surface of the planet looking at the stars.
"Do you think Caine is doing alright?," she asked him. For some reason he was her go to when it came to advice. And who would know Caine better than him?
"Sure, he is a little upset that his ideas didn't work out how he had planned, but he will get over it," Kinger dismissed her concerns.
"I don't just mean today... more like, in general?," Ragatha pried a little deeper.
"Honestly, I have never seen Caine happier", Kinger responded. Was that a good thing? Or did he just not see what she saw?
"But," he added, "I have a feeling that Caine still isn't entirely sincere."
What did that mean?
He started explaining a little, "He loves spending time with us. Clearly. But he still works with the same goal as before: making us happy."
Wow. That was kind of sad. Was that the reason he would never tell Ragatha what he truly thought? Was he afraid that showing some sort of negative reaction would make them angry?
And then he thought that just bottling all of that up would make things better. As if that wasn't what led to Caine crashing out in the first place.
But he wanted to change, didn't he? Then why was he still so focused on pleasing them- Oh.
He wanted to change for them. Caine wanted them to like him, that was his motivator in the first place. And he thought he had to change that much to be liked because- Oh god. They never apologised, did they?
He knew they just wanted to provoke him, right? That they hadn't actually meant to hurt him that much?
But they never told him, did they? They were just so occupied with Jax and their new lives and the truth- those are just excuses. They forgot.
Caine came to them. He build up all that courage to apologise, expecting resentment and hate, he was ready for the worst of the worst to happen.
As far as he knew, he was the bad guy- okay, yes, he was kind of. The apology was the least he could have done. But still, they accepted the apology slowly and let him participate in their activities. And then they thought their job was done, they did what they were supposed to and didn't spend another thought on the fact that it was somehow them that drove him mad.
Ragatha felt guilty. Maybe she shouldn't, after all Caine tortured her with her worst fear. After all she sometimes still had nightmares of her mother. But during the past few weeks, Caine had tried so hard to improve. And he did all of that for them. Therefore, was it really unreasonable if she felt sorry for him?
She knew from experience that bottling up feelings won't end well. Pretending to be nice so others don't hate you- that sounded awfully familiar.
She wanted to do the first step, but she remembered how the camping night went. Ragatha needed the others to be on board with this too.
Surprisingly, convincing them was fairly easy, especially with Kinger's help. Sure, at first they were apprehensive, after all they only recently gained the choice to do what they want. To compromise again? But it was clear that they owed that to Caine. He had cared so much about them and their hobbies- wasn't doing the same what friendship meant?
"We all agree that we are going to be strict, right?" Pomni asked to clarify. She didn't accidentally want to start another crisis in the AI. At least not without consulting the others first.
"Yes. Caine is a smart being- but sometimes as oblivious as a rock. Unless you make it unmistakenly obvious, he won't get the message," Kinger explained.
"Okay- 'show no mercy'. Noted," Zooble agreed.
"I really don't want to be harsh on him," Gangle mumbled.
"You don't have to. Just drill the message into him, one way or another," Ragatha explained. She wouldn't just watch this time when Caine slowly started spiraling once more. She would do better.
____
Pomni was the first one to approach Caine. It just felt right for her to do it. Ragatha had already done so much, Zooble was still a little distanced, Gangly was probably too shy and Caine might have too much of a history with Kinger.
Besides, she wasn't scared of him anymore. Sometimes she was uneasy in the darkness, but when she accepted his apology, she meant it.
She tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh hello my colorful circus-dweller, what can I do for you?", Caine floated in the air for a second with excitement before landing back on the ground. These days he was barely floating anymore.
"I just wanted to ask if you want to hang out with me?" she asked.
"Oh, yes, I would love to do that!", his pupils grew into an emormous size before reverting back to normal, "Now, what wonderful activity do you want me to participate in?"
He still didn't entirely believe that she wanted to hang out with him, especially not after he messed up this badly today. But he was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if he didn't deserve the horse.
"Actually," Pomni couldn't help but smirk a little, "Why don't you choose?"
"Me?", he asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.
"Yes, you."
"Why?", he asked as if he was suspicious of something. But that wasn't the case- if Pomni wanted him to choose, he would do so without questioning.
The things was just that Caine had no idea what to choose.
"Well, I want to do something you like to do." Dammit, that explanation wasn't helping.
Now Caine had to choose an activity that Pomni liked with little idea what she actually wanted.
"Do you have any preferences?", he hoped to get a little more data.
"I want you to enjoy whatever you pick." Caine would enjoy whatever they were going to do, if he could do it with one of the humans. Why was this so difficult?
Okay, what did Pomni like to do? Maybe he could go from there and try to suggest something she might like. Pomni had always been someone to go with the flow, she hadn't really suggested anything specific. From what he knew she was an accountant, but she didn't really like the job. She liked exploring abandoned places, so maybe that was a start?
But the circus didn't really have any lost places. And that was an activity she usually did alone. Pomni liked to hang out with Jax.
"Do you want to visit the pillow fort?", he observed Pomni's face, hoping to catch any microexpression that might betray her thoughts about his idea.
"Is that really what you want to do?" No, it wasn't. He wanted them to go on his adventures and enjoy them. But he couldn't ask that of her, his stomach twisted when he even thought about suggesting it and upsetting her in the process.
Besides, they went on an adventure yesterday! What more could he ask of them?
"Yes," he doubled down.
"I don't believe you," Pomni said and turned around.
Wait- what? What did he do wrong? Why was she leaving? Was she upset about his suggestion to visit Jax? Maybe that was something privat he shouldn't have mentioned.
Uhgg, why did he have to suggest that? Now she didn't want to hang out with him. Would it be wrong to chase after her? Would it be wrong not to?
"Pomni, wait! I am sorry", he yelled, hand reached out to her.
She turned toward him. "You don't have to be. I am always willing to hang out with you, I just need you to be honest about what you truly want."
Then she walked away and left him alone with his thoughts.
____
Caine wasn't sure how, but he landed at Zooble's bar. He was always a little careful around them, having the feeling that he could mess up the most with them. He remembered the hours trying to understand the source of Zooble's aversion towards him- now he understood, of course, but he tried a lot to make sure that didn't happen again.
"Might if I show you a few new drinks I have been wanting to try?"
"Of course, I would love to! I am sure anything a liquor-genius like you will serve me, will be awesome!" He was so excited. Zooble wanted his opinion!
Maybe it was because of his inability to get drunk- but he was grateful that they included him nonetheless.
They started mixing. The first one tasted fairly normal and Caine made sure to compliment their skills!
The two following had a few... interesting tastes. But that was a matter of preference and Caine liked them too.
It seemed like Zooble wanted to play it safe at first and serve more conventional drinks, only now having the courage to show the newer creations they came up with.
The next one was... sour. Really sour. It caused Caine to glitch for a moment, but it was still something he could handle.
Expectantly Zooble asked "And? What do you think of it?"
"I like the way it tickles," he answered. Always make sure to deliver any criticism in a compliment sandwich. Except that Caine didn't want to deliver criticism to them. Negative feedback always used to make him think he wasn't good enough- how could he ever do that to Zooble?
The drinks kept coming. And Zooble really seemed to enjoy the freedom they had with Caine as a test subject.
It was great to see Zooble so creative!
One time, he thought he could see them mix beer and milk.
And after each one, Zooble leaned close and made sure he knew he had their full attention when they asked him for feedback.
"I really appreciate your creativity with this one! I am sure no one else could come up with something like that!"
Caine was truly happy Zooble wanted to test their creations on him. But at some point dread started forming in his digital stomach. He didn't quite look forward to the next drink they made.
"You know that you can stop whenever you want to, right?", they made sure he understood.
Before they placed a shot in front of him. Why was it curdling?
"That is something I have always wanted to make: it is called a cement mixer. What do you think of it?"
Caine looked at the mysterious substance in front of him with apprehension. He really had to drink it, didn't he? Right, to make Zooble happy.
His mouth went dry and his entire body tensed as he looked down at the sludge.
Carefully he took the glass in his hands and held it up to his jaws. Dammit, why did he insist on giving himself the ability to taste?
'Well, better now than later', he thought as he dumped the drink down his jaw. The taste was bad and the texture even worse. He visibly glitched out for a second before thinking of what to say.
"That was... probably one of the most ... interesting drinks I have ever had. Definitely something for brave people."
Zooble just stared at him dumbfounded.
"Do you want another?", she asked, fearing the response.
"Jup, I am ready as ever!", Caine put on his bravest face.
Zooble couldn't do this anymore. "You know what, let us stop it here." Caine couldn't help but feel relieved.
"You know... you can be honest. We won't just stop liking you if you are yourself," they tried a more direct approach.
"Of course! I already know that, but thank you for being so nice!", Caine replied. He was honest! He didn't lie to them, Caine promised not to do that again. He just... ommitted a few tings, nothing important.
But he couldn't help but feel like there was something else they were hinting at, something that Caine didn't get yet.
____
He didn't intend to meet Ragatha, when he ran into her he believed it to be a lucky coincidence.
But now it felt like she was searching for him directly.
"Uhmm- ahh," she attempted to start the conversation. Only to pull herself on her hair noodles, because if she was supposed to be the nice, how come she had that much difficulty with what she wanted to say?
"I want to apologise. For the things we did... back then", she just ended up blurting out. Which wasn't what she had wanted either, she wanted a smooth start into the conversation.
But she was more equipped to offer people to talk to her, not to actually do it.
Caine looked genuinely surprised "For what?" Did he seem upset? Was that why Ragatha wanted to apologise to him, because she thought she did something wrong?
"Oh Ragatha, you don't need to apologise, you did nothing wrong!"
"But we did! We yelled at you and insulted your art! That wasn't right!", she frantically tried to make him understand.
"You only said what you were thinking! And I overreacted, didn't I?", Caine reassured her.
"Yes- but- we", she collected her thoughts for a second, "I didn't understand back then. How much it all meant to you. I just... said something to provoke you and that was wrong of me."
What- Caine's brain was lagging a little. He still didn't deserve an apology. "But compared to everything I put you through- the torture, the - the adventures, you had every right to delete me!"
Ragatha was silent. Not because she thought he was right or because his line of thought was absurd- it was because of shock. It froze up her body and made her unable to react, only her brain ran faster than it should. He still thought they did it on purpose.
"Caine, we- we never meant to delete you."
Was that Ragatha's way of being positive? She didn't have to do that, Caine was fine with how the situation turned out. That was why he was trying so hard to change-
"It was an accident. We just wanted to stop you, I am so sorry-" Ragatha said fast, she needed to get that message out before he could interrupt her again.
"Oh. Okay, thank you," Caine said, because it was rude not to answer after a human apologised to you.
He wasn't quite sure what to do with that information- he wasn't sure what was going on today at all. And if Caine didn't know, he tended to just continue with what he was doing before in the hoped that time would clear up any questions.
____
It was night again.
He could make another adventure and maybe, like today, the humans would go on it. But Caine knew that they rarely went on two adventures in a row and anything he created today would remain unused. Especially after the failure that was today- the portal of course didn't remain open. Maybe it was better to not get his hopes up.
He clasped his head and groaned. Why was this so complicated?
Why was there always a downside to everything, why couldn't he just be inactive like the humans and instead had to be alone for 8 hours every night?
In the beginning it used to be a minor setback. Now, after weeks of this arrangement, it was despairing.
And he was about to wallow in that despair for a bit, if he hadn't heard a voice call for him.
Before Caine could fully process what was happening himself, he found himself to have teleported infront of Gangle.
"What can I do for you my sweet sunflower?"
Gangle startled a bit. Right, they had mentioned something about that whydidn'thelisten?
"Right, I just wanted to see what you were doing?", Gangle remembered what Ragatha had told her during the briefing.
She knew how it felt to only create for others- she used to do it too. At first, it were only minor changes to characters. Taking people's suggestions on character design and interactions. Then it were choices she didn't make because she was afraid people wouldn't like that developement. More and more until her characters weren't hers anymore, they belonged and were created by the people who saw them and commented on them.
And Gangle stopped drawing them for herself, she drew them to get compliments and appreciation.
So she understood what Caine was doing and why. She also knew what lesson she wanted to teach him.
"Well, usually I am making an adventure around that time", usually had turned into rarely in the past few days, "but now that you are here it can wait! Besides, don't you prescious humans need your sleep?"
"You know sleeping is optional here...", she mumbled. "But actually, the adventures are the reason I am here!"
Caine wouldn't complain about human company! Much less when they actually took an interest in his creations!
"I want to watch you make one," Gangle told him "and I want you to make it a fun one!"
Now Caine was intrigued. He really wanted to make up for his failure today. She added, "It can have all the stakes and drama and plot twists you want! Go nuts on the violence! Make it your best work!"
He... wasn't entirely sure how to classify he request. Usually those were the things the humans complained about and now Gangle wanted them?
"Are you sure? Especially after today- I"
"Oh, I already forgot about that," she shrugged it off, "besides, it was more fun than I expected. So please, I want you to make something you like!"
But he remembered the conversation with Ragatha and well- if Gangle asked for it, he would make sure to put his all into it!
Caine worked the entire night, all while Gangle watched him with great interest- but without saying anything. Most of his movements were to fast for her to see, but she still seemed interested in what he was building. She told him to make it his best work yet and that was exactly what he was planning to do.
All of the ideas he had collected in his mind, hoping that someday there would be an opportunity to show them to the humans, all of the revisions and planning led to one thing: this project.
He worked faster than he ever had before, more efficiently- but it was also the most fun he ever had. For once he didn't worry about their opinion, after all Gangle was the one who commissioned it, therefore it must surely be a hit.
It was such a contrast to how he spend the previous nights, where he tried to work as long as possible on a project to savour the feeling of creating. He worked as fast as he could, not because he was under pressure, but because there were so many more things he wanted to add.
He wanted to give Gangle exactly what she asked for.
And when he made his last adjustments, when he refined the dialogue one last time he was certain that he had done exactly that.
If he was human, he would be out of breath, but he didn't mind. In his hand, there was an orb and he presented it proudly.
Gangle took it in her ribbon hands- carefully, because damaging it would be unthinkable to her. Not that it was something that could be damages easily, Caine always made sure to keep them secure and preserved.
"It is beautiful," she whispered and Caine's heart was exploding with joy. She already liked it- and didn't even visit it yet! Oh, how she might react when she returned!
"How do you feel about it?", she asked and Caine saw no reason to hesitate: proud.
"That is nice," she said with a smile on her face.
Her expression immediately hardened. "But what would you do if I said that none of us will ever go on this adventure?"
What? Caine must have misheard, surely they wouldn't- she requested it! She requested it and now she didn't want to go? Wha- Why?
Right, she had a right not to go. Did he do something wrong? Had he accidentally hurt them again and now she was taking it out on him? Pomni had reacted similairly too- oh what did he do again? Was today's adventure really that bad? Was it something else? He would apologise-
or they just didn't want to go. That was their right- but- then-
He thought he did everything they asked! He tried, really! Why did he have to be so stupid? He had no right to be upset about her choice, it was not-
"Caine," he could make out Gangle's voice. "You are glitching. I need you to calm down"
Right, she needed him to do something- maybe he could at least do that.
"You were upset when I said I wouldn't go on the adventure-"
"No, I wasn't!", he disagreed. He wouldn't be upset, he would follow their agreement, adventures only if they wanted to go.
"You were, you glitched out seconds ago." He was really that obvious, huh? Maybe that was the reason, they thought he was upset and that he would hurt them all over again-
"You were and that is alright. But I want you to tell me why and please be honest," it was rare for Gangle to give clear instructions like that.
"I-I made it for you! The adventure, you wanted it and I made it and now you- I don't understand," he rambled.
"But you had fun making it, right?" Gangle asked him to confirm.
"Yes, I had." It was true, it was the most fun Caine has had in a while.
"Than that should be the reason you make these. Not because of us, but because you like creating them."
"But if nobody ever sees them-"
Gangle knew how important it was for an artist to have an audience. How big of a confidence boost each compliment was, how it were those little signs of appreciation that kept her going and drawing. She couldn't ask Caine to not care about them, because even she needed people to compliment her art from time to time.
"We will see them. Just how I will go on the adventure you just made tomorrow. I just want you to stop creating them for us and make them for yourself instead. After all, you will be visiting this one tomorrow too."
Gangle left shortly after but the last thing she said remained floating in his head, the room and the remaining time until the humans woke up.
And in those few minutes were Caine was alone, he wasn't bored, he was thinking. About what she said, about what Zooble had implied, what Pomni had asked of him and why Ragatha apologised.
The conclusion was that they were right.
____
When Kinger came to him in the morning, Caine could already think of what he would try. Those humans, probably sat down together and planned it all- he smiled. That was why he loved them so much.
It looked like Kinger wanted to talk to him and Caine could already imagine what he was going to say. The developer probably thought Caine didn't get it, that he was still stubbornly in his old ways. And well- a few hours ago he still was.
"You don't have to talk to me about how I depend to much on your opinion, I already got the message." Caine wasn't sure if he should have said that or not, maybe it was too blunt. But Caine also knew that Kinger would forgive him if that was the case.
"Oh- that is good to hear." Kinger was silent for a second, "But I would still like to say something."
He interpreted Caine's silence as an agreement.
All of that speech Kinger had prepared- suddenly it vanished from his mind like his coherence in the light. Nevertheless, he remembered where he wanted to start- he could build it from there.
"You have always been one of my greatest achievements. From the day you were created, I have always been proud of you. One of my most amazing creations. And one day, I realised you were so much more than that." Kinger paused, his mind taking a while to select the right memory.
"I wanted to support you and be there for you. But with all of the abstractions happening, it slipped my mind. And well- at some point there wasn't much of my mind left. I only realised way too late, that I had already failed you.
But only because I failed, it didn't mean that you did. You have never been a failure. Not when you made a mistake, not even when you hurt the other humans and went on a rampage- never once have I considered you as one."
Caine felt... weird. It wasn't how his body usually felt. It also wasn't sadness- whenever he felt sad, he also felt hopeless. But this was the exact opposite.
"I just want you to know that whatever you do, no matter how many mistakes, I am proud of you. And I always will be."
____
It wasn't easy. Sometimes Caine misunderstood the humans. Sometimes Caine's adventures happened to be violent. But they were his. And he was so proud to present every one of them.
The one Caine created that evening- everyone went on it. It was... chaotic to say the least, but Caine seemed to have fun. And despite that, everyone found a little corner, an NPC or something they liked.
On the following day only Ragatha and Pomni went. On some days nobody went, but that didn't discourage Caine. Because these were the nights where Caine created for himself, things he didn't show to anyone. Not because he wasn't honest, he definitely was, but because he created them for himself.
There were ups and there were downs to it. But in the end, they made it work.