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The afternoon sun was shining through the windows of a condominium high up on the seventeenth floor of a large building, and it was shining into the room of an Avery who had fallen asleep around seven in the morning after staying up through most of the cold and dark winter night. The sun was warm, and it had especially warmed up the bed he was sleeping in. And as such, unbeknownst to him, a pleasant expression had appeared on his face, which was the first thing Derek saw as he entered the room:
"Avery. Avery wake up." Derek said while nudging him gently. Avery's expression soured as if to beg for just five more minutes. But one look at that face, and Derek no longer had the heart to wake him up forcibly. He sighed, and muttered quietly, "Okay… you can sleep a little bit longer I suppose." and he went to the kitchen to brew some tea to help the both of them warm up.
Maybe from hearing Derek's voice or maybe from hearing the humming of the microwave, Avery woke up and he stretched. The air was much colder than his bed though, so he shuddered before burying himself deeper into the covers. He stayed this way until Derek called out for the second time with the mugs of herbal tea in his hand.
"Are you awake yet?" he asked, reaching one of the mugs towards Avery.
"Mmm…" Avery groaned before getting up, still holding the blanket all the way up to his chest. He then saw the steaming mug in Derek's hand and reached out for it, "Thank you."
"No problem." Derek crossed his legs and sat right next to Avery on the bed. After some time, "You told me you've wanted to go stargazing before." he said.
Avery's grogginess disappeared instantly and he replied in excitement, "Yeah! I've never really gone stargazing because I've only ever lived in cities and I never went camping. When can we go?"
"Today, actually. I know a good spot for it. I checked the weather forecast, it says the skies will be clear tonight." he said in order not to overcomplicate things, "I think we'll even make it in time to see the sunset as well."
"Hell yeah! I'd love to watch the sunset."
"We do have to leave, like, right away though. So you better get changed quick." he said and walked towards the door before turning back and adding, "It's going to be particularly cold tonight by the way, make sure to wear something warm." and he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him to give Avery some privacy, before heading into the adjacent room (his room) to get his coat.
It took ten seconds, maybe twenty, but by the time Derek faced the hallway again, Avery rushed out of his room having changed into a woolen turtleneck sweater. He didn't have his coat on, but he was heading towards the coat hanger by the kitchen. Avery liked charging into many things head-first, but the cold was not one of them.
Avery grabbed his coat and wore it before turning to Derek. "I'm ready. I think I got everything, my coat, some hand warmers…"
"Alright. Let's go then."
Together they walked from their condo to the wide corridor, and Derek pressed a button to call the elevator to their floor. Once they got down, they headed straight for the parking lot. Derek sat on the driver's seat, whereas Avery took the passenger seat next to him. Avery hadn't worn his seatbelt even after the car had been started, so Derek pointed at it until Avery understood that they were going nowhere until his seatbelt was fastened. And once he had fastened it, Derek wore his own seatbelt before driving out of the parking lot onto the highway.
After they had driven far away from the city and into a more rural area, Derek saw a small shop on the side of the road and next to it a man was selling firewood. Derek parked the car and went to this store to buy snacks, and then he bought some firewood and ignition supplies after making sure it was dry. It had occurred to him on the road that maybe hand warmers alone wouldn't be enough to warm Avery up. The image of poor Avery shivering in the cold appeared in his mind, and he couldn't bear the thought of not making his dear friend as comfortable as possible. With the help of the kind vendor, he carried the firewood to the back of his car, gave the man a tip, got back in the driver's seat, and continued driving.
They didn't stop for the rest of their journey. Avery would normally be asleep if the drive was longer than an hour, but since he had slept earlier, he was waiting impatiently instead. He was taking a look at his phone but immediately putting it back down after getting carsick, humming a melody here and there, staring out of the window a little bit but getting bored, watching the handsome man behind the wheel right next to him, and so on. Derek had realized Avery's restless behavior, but unfortunately he was mostly focused on the road and he couldn't take a direct look at him. Still, he could catch an occasional glimpse off the mirror or from the corner of his eye, and that was enough to make this drive infinitely more enjoyable than one without Avery.
After two or three more hours of driving, they reached their destination: a flat plain by the seaside far away from any major settlements, where light pollution was comparatively nonexistent. Some people knew about this place but the lack of any other vehicles parked on the sides of the road signaled that nobody else was here, and for a good reason at that. During the winters, it was almost always cloudy and the weather forecast was always wrong about when it wouldn't be cloudy. Most people naturally didn't think it was worth driving out here only for a miniscule chance of seeing the stars. Derek was different however.
Knowing when best to do something was one of the rare benefits of absorbing an all-knowing god, because most of the other effects were negative. The knowledge he had absorbed made it impossible for him to feel certain emotions. Of course there were traumatizing aspects to it, such as knowing where and when each one of his loved ones would die, but he had managed to cope with those at some point, maybe even thanks to Avery himself. But the long-lasting emotional impact this determinism had was much more difficult to cope with, because not being able to feel most emotions hurt whether he came to terms with it or not.
He thought about it for a second while setting up the campfire. Emotions were reactions to developments in their essence. If nothing new ever happened, could one feel happiness, or excitement, or even love? Definitely not, because gaining omniscience meant he had already experienced everything anyone ever could. Essentially, he had forcefully studied every painting ever made in the vast universe, and he had done so as many times as necessary until he could remember every color and background detail to a T. He knew exactly how his relationship with Avery would look like in the end: a masterpiece painted out of the highest quality paints, but not a special one in that it could have been painted by many different people nevertheless. He realized he had never actually considered Avery to be special; he was only staying by his side out of a loose sense of gratitude, and even if he were to stay together with Avery until the end of their lives, he would die never actually having loved him. This realization by itself made him feel like he was guilty of betraying Avery and that he was no different than a disloyal character committing adultery, and his mind began trying frantically to rationalize it all to no avail.
"Derek? You okay?" Avery interrupted, "You've just been crouching over there for the last couple minutes."
Derek looked back at the ground where a campfire was supposed to be, but nothing was there. He had started overthinking and forgotten to set it up like he had been intending to. "I was just thinking about something." Derek said, and he ran off to gather some twigs from the surroundings.
Avery wasn't satisfied with the answer he got. Derek was rarely ever lost in thought, so something had to be troubling him. He chased after Derek, "Wait! Tell me about it!" he yelled, and took a second to catch his breath after grabbing Derek by the shoulder, "We've talked about this before. I don't want you to try handling everything alone."
"No. It has nothing to do with you." Derek lied, he couldn't explain his thoughts to Avery at this moment no matter what. It wouldn't help even if he told Avery. The more he thought like this, the more he felt guilty over his own thoughts. He was being nonsensical, delusional even, and he needed to get his thoughts in order as soon as possible, away from Avery.
"But–" Avery said, but Derek had run off already. Avery was now even more worried for Derek, but he was exhausted and he didn't have the energy to chase after him any further. He felt helpless being unable to help Derek just like all those years ago, but Avery's persistent attitude hadn't gone away at all. He wasn't going to give up on helping Derek. Not yet.
Avery sat down on the ground to rest a little bit, but he was discreetly observing Derek at the same time. Derek was staring back at Avery, watching to see if he would get up and continue the chase, but Avery didn't mind it at all. Derek would soon conclude that he wasn't being chased, and he would eventually be staring at an empty patch of ground, deep in thought.
Avery was right. It didn't take long until Derek was distracted, and Avery had his opportunity. He slowly sneaked towards Derek outside his field of vision, and once he was close enough, he pounced on the unassuming Derek and lunged at him with wide open arms, tackling him to the ground.
Derek was scared out of his mind (literally) and he felt the dread of having to face Avery without answers again. In fact, he was still trying to come up with a way to explain– no, lie– no, deceive Avery up until the very last moment of his tumble to the ground. He barely managed to use his elbow to soften his fall and he almost hit his head still, but worst of all, he couldn't come up with an excuse. He braced himself for a scolding, an angry reprimand, or even a punch, but none of those things hit him. Avery wasn't talking. He wasn't even looking at Derek. Instead, he was holding on to Derek as if to prevent him from getting up. Derek was confused. Why was Avery suddenly acting so weird? Was he angry? It was only after they had stayed together like that for a couple minutes that the warmth radiating from Avery finally reached Derek through two whole layers of winter coats, and he realized that Avery was hugging him.
This was the first time they'd done anything this affectionate towards each other this blatantly. Avery's head rested on top of Derek's chest right below the neck and his eyes were closed shut so he was intentionally not looking at the very stars he had been wanting to see for so long. Derek on the other hand was facing the night sky directly, and he saw that not only had the sun long set, but also that the stars were beginning to appear as though they were tiny specks of snow, silently falling upon and covering the rapidly darkening sky. Derek didn't understand why Avery was hugging him in the first place; did he not want to see the stars instead? Why was he just ignoring the beautiful night sky to try and comfort him instead? He desperately called out to his dear friend for an answer:
"A-Avery…?"
"Shh! Let's just stay like this for a while." Avery said as he tightened his hold.
Derek didn't really know what to do. He wanted to stay away from Avery because he wanted to think things through before opening his mouth, but at the same time, he felt like he wanted this hug even more than that. He had known they'd be hugging, he had known that he'd be tackled to the ground by Avery, but despite knowing all of this in advance, hugging Avery felt comforting. So, finally, Derek brought his arms close together around Avery's upper back and tightened them firmly in order to feel Avery's already warm presence even more strongly. He had missed this feeling immensely, but he thought he didn't deserve it. Avery was too kind, too wonderful for a monster like him. His body felt weak and his breath stuttered a little bit, but he embraced Avery more tightly the weaker he felt. Then, a few tears came out, then a few more, and then a few more until he was practically sobbing. He tried to keep his face from reflecting his feelings, but trying to hide it didn't help him because Avery wasn't even looking at his face; he didn't need to see Derek's face to understand from the staggered breath of his dear friend that he was crying.
Avery lifted his head slightly to look at Derek's tearful face with a yearning look, and a small blush appeared on his face due to the close distance between them. He reached his hand to Derek's cheek, and wiped off the tears gently with his thumb before kissing him a couple times where the tears had flowed down from. Derek kept crying for some more time and Avery kept comforting him this way. Eventually, Derek calmed down and the two lay in silence for some time, before Avery asked again:
"Will you tell me why you're upset now?"
"Can I ask you something before I answer?"
"Sure." Avery said, and Derek sighed in relief.
"Why did you choose to hug me over looking up at the stars? You've always wanted to do that ever since you were a kid."
Without questioning for even a second how Derek knew of his childhood ambitions Avery responded, "Well… I think what makes the stars beautiful is how someone gets to see them. Because I've seen pictures of the night sky many times and I've probably watched the sunset even more than that. If I didn't care about the way I saw them, then I'd just look at a photo and call it a day."
"So you don't care about missing the view, even if it's because of me?"
"Nope. The truth is, I could've gone stargazing myself for all these years. But if I didn't have anyone to go with, then I wouldn't get to enjoy it as much as I am right now. Don't you think so?"
Derek fell silent.
"Are you going to tell me about what upset you now?" Avery asked again.
"It was nothing after all. I'm no longer upset. I mean, I'll still tell you if you insist but…"
"No need, I get what you mean. Everyone has their silly misunderstandings, and talking about it would just embarrass you. So as long as you're feeling fine, I'm happy." Avery said, before flopping over to the ground next to Derek. He could now meaningfully see the star-filled sky for himself after all these years. He then held Derek's hand, and they interlocked their fingers.
Avery eventually broke the silence, "I love you." he said, facing away from Derek in his shyness.
"I love you too." Derek replied. He was fully confident of the meaning of his words this time. He still felt a little saddened by the fact that he wasn't experiencing emotions when looking at the painting so to speak, but he was with the artist as it was being painted, and that's what mattered most. Avery had convinced him of that.
So for the next couple of hours Derek and Avery laid on the ground stargazing, holding hands and sharing life stories. Derek knew about the stories but still intently watched every gesture Avery made as he recalled the happy memories of his life. He was enamored by Avery's starlight-reflecting eyes, warm smile and lively attitude, and eventually, he couldn't resist anymore. He rolled over on his side, propped himself up on his elbow so as to not squish Avery, and leaned in closer to him.
Avery blushed, but immediately grabbed Derek from the back of his neck and pulled him in closer as soon as he recognized what Derek wanted to do. They kissed once, then once more, and then once more with the duration of each kiss getting longer with each step. It felt like they could go on like this forever, but Derek's arm eventually gave out from the awkward position, and he laid back on the ground, the both of them laughing. Avery turned sideways in order to face him, and with a smile on his face, he said:
"I think you were wrong about how cold tonight was going to be, even if you never lit that campfire. I feel like I'm going to melt over here!"
"Yeah, I was wrong about it. And I hope I'll be wrong about it in the future too."