Work Text:
to many people, a lie is an illusion. or rather a coward's attempt to bring false hope to not just the person they lie to but themself. but for Spoke, a lie was never just a sheild. a lie was a raft over a great black ocean. the only light shining color onto the void. it was, the only sword that could forever be loyal. time and time again Spoke watched as his fellow players cling to the truth as he did lies. their escape rope called "truth" was more a rope twisted with thorns of a rose compared to the soft silk of his own. but still, it just didnt make sense to him. why do people cling to the truth if it hurts?
Spoke knew for as long as his existence became aware of itself that the truth wasnt a thing meant to be held. rather a thing to escape from. you see, spoke doesnt lie for the sake of lying. he lies just as how people seek the truth. to Spoke, lies are the very roots of his identity. survival isnt a game of reality. its a game of convincing. though as a result, spoke lost sight of his own reality.
who was he if he didnt have anyone to tell him who he was?
thats why spoke was currently huddled in the bathroom floor of an abandoned base, panicking, and searching through his camera roll. he was watching video after video of himself trying to get an idea of who exactly he was. on what lie to spin next to ensure everything was just fine.
video one played.
he was showing george Jr. to the camera as mapicc recorded.
"Hello EVERYONE! this is my most PRIZED PET! george Jr has ALWAYS been with me SINCE THE START OF THE SERVER!..."
the video went on. spoke's face was blank as he watched. his white eyes took in every single movement of the pixels on the small screen. as well as his ears tuning into the smallest inflections to his tone. he heard the lie upon lie upon lie spill and spill out of the speakers like dominos all in a perfect line.
video two.
spoke froze before he even played it. JamatoP was displayed and Spoke just...
video three!
this time he was laughing with mapicc and planetlord.
video four.
he was trapping someone's base.
video five...
he lied
six.
he lied
seven.
he. lied.
again.
the figure in the cold deepslate bathroom sitting on the floor stared at the screen blankly. how pathetic. he really was just like everyone else. in his efforts to use lies as a means of survival he was reduced to this. a thing with no identity and chasing the truth just like everyone else. he truly was disgusting.
every video led down a different road. one a manipulator, one a savior, one a genius, one a friend, another was an entertainer, a villian, or even someone to be pitied. it was a fractaling web with no clear connection.
his hand gripped the phone harder, yet harder. he was shaking. dark circles formed on the ground under him just as his vision grew blurry.
oh.
he was crying.
spoke can cry?
without thinking he went into camera mode. and he started recording.