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The disaster began with a hiccup. In hindsight, several people would later agree that this should have been their first warning. Not because hiccups were dangerous but because anything involving Caelum Crossman inevitably became dangerous to the sanity of everyone around him.
The infant in question was currently three weeks old, healthy, beloved, and entirely unaware of the power he wielded over the Imperial Palace. At present, he lay nestled comfortably in Cale's arms, wrapped in a blanket that had been personally approved by Cale after rejecting seventeen others for reasons nobody had fully understood. The afternoon sun spilled through the windows of the imperial family sitting room, painting the chamber in warm gold while the household enjoyed one of the increasingly rare moments of peace.
Naturally, peace never lasted. Cale was studying the tiny face pressed against his chest when he felt it. A small jerk and a tiny movement. Then—
"Hic."
Cale froze. The baby blinked. "Hic." The infant's entire body twitched slightly.
Silence fell. The room held its breath. Cale stared and the baby stared back.
"Hic."
The red-haired man immediately stood. The chair nearly tipped over.
Across the room, Alberu looked up from a report. "Cale?"
Something in his husband's expression caused the emperor to rise instantly. The emperor had developed excellent survival instincts over the past year. "Cale."
"The baby is broken."
Silence. Absolute silence and then Alberu crossed the room in three strides.
"What happened?"
"He twitched."
The emperor blinked. "What?"
"He twitched."
Another tiny hiccup interrupted the conversation. The baby bounced slightly in Cale's arms. The redhead looked horrified, Alberu looked concerned and the baby looked confused.
"Hic."
The emperor's expression changed. Not because he understood but because he absolutely did not. Unfortunately, neither did Cale and that was enough.
"Summon the physicians." The command left Alberu's mouth immediately. A servant vanished, another servant vanished and a third servant vanished despite not being involved. The palace had become remarkably efficient at responding to family emergencies.
"Hic."
Cale's horror deepened. "He keeps doing it."
Alberu agreed. "He does."
The baby hiccupped again. The room somehow became more tense.
Several minutes later, Ron arrived with a benign smile. Nobody knew how he had heard. Nobody ever knew. The old butler surveyed the scene once, then twice and then his gaze landed upon the infant.
"Hic."
Ron narrowed his eyes. A dangerous development. "The young master appears troubled."
"The baby keeps twitching."
Ron observed carefully. Another hiccup followed. Understanding dawned. Unfortunately, it was the wrong understanding. "I shall ask Eruhaben-nim to prepare medicine."
The butler departed. Nobody stopped him. Mostly because nobody knew whether stopping him would help.
The situation deteriorated further when Raon arrived. The dragon entered through a window. Nobody questioned this anymore. "The little human is under attack!"
"No."
"The little human has been cursed!"
"No."
"The little human is fighting an invisible enemy!"
"No."
The baby hiccupped which made Raon gasped. "The enemy strikes again!"
The dragon immediately floated upward. Mana gathered dramatically. Several servants screamed. Alberu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Raon."
"I shall eliminate the threat."
"There is no threat."
"There is."
"No."
"There is."
Another hiccup which made Raon pointed triumphantly. "Evidence."
Unfortunately, On and Hong arrived before the argument could continue. The beast children entered, observed and then reached conclusions. Incorrect conclusions. "The baby swallowed air." Reasonable. "The baby swallowed a ghost." Unreasonable. Hong looked confident. Cale looked tired.
The room steadily filled because news spread as it always did. By the time the physicians arrived, the chamber contained enough people to stage a military operation.
Physician Durst entered, paused and then stared.
The old physician had been one of the physicians who had helped deliver Caelum.
He had treated royalty but nothing had prepared him for this. The baby hiccupped and immediately, six people began speaking at once.
"The child is under attack."
"No."
"The child has swallowed a ghost."
"No."
"The child requires medicine."
"Probably not."
"The child is fighting."
"No."
"The child twitched."
"Yes."
The physician listened then looked at the baby, then listened again and then looked at the baby.
"Hic."
The physician blinked before a sigh escaped his mouth. A long suffering sigh. The sigh of a man whose career had become significantly more difficult than necessary. "Your Highness."
"Yes?"
"The baby has hiccups."
Silence followed and then—
"What are hiccups?"
The physician froze. Slowly, he looked toward the emperor then toward Cale, Ron, Raon and then toward everyone else. It wasn't an unfamiliar term but when related to a baby, everything appeared severe than it actually was.
The physician experienced a brief moment of existential despair. "Hiccups are normal." The room stared. "Hiccups happen." The staring was overwhelming. "The child is healthy."
The room continued staring. "The child is not dying." Silence overcame the room as Durst continued, "The child is not cursed."
Raon looked disappointed. "The child is not fighting an invisible enemy."
Hong looked more disappointed. "The child did not swallow a ghost."
On added out of pure habit of going along with her younger brothers. "The child does not require medicine."
Ron's benign smile merely twitched for a slight second but he controlled his features immediately. Too fast to be noticed by others.
The physician felt very tired. Meanwhile, the baby hiccupped again. "Hic."
The physician pointed. "That." Everyone watched and the baby blinked. "Hic." The physician nodded. "Perfectly normal."
The room collectively processed this information. Slowly and painfully like a cart moving uphill and then realization arrived. One by one. Embarrassment followed. Alberu looked away. Ron quietly put away the medicine. Hong abandoned the ghost theory. Raon lowered his combat stance. Several servants suddenly became very interested in the walls.
The silence stretched and then stretched further. Then—
"So." Alberu cleared his throat. The emperor looked remarkably dignified for a man who had mobilized an entire medical team against hiccups. "Everything is fine."
"Everything is fine."
More silence and then Raon crossed his arms. "The little human won."
The physician blinked. "What?"
"The enemy retreated."
"There was no enemy."
"The little human remains victorious."
The dragon nodded firmly. Nobody had the energy to argue. The physician certainly didn't. Eventually the room emptied. People departed. The crisis ended. Peace returned or at least something resembling peace.
Only Cale remained unconvinced. The baby slept quietly against his chest. Occasionally—
"Hic."
Cale frowned. The physician's explanation had made sense. The logic was sound. Everything was apparently normal. Yet—
"It is weird."
Alberu laughed. "Cale."
"It is."
"It is not."
"He keeps doing it."
"He has hiccups."
"The explanation doesn't make it less weird."
The emperor smiled before carefully lifting Caelum from Cale's arms. The baby immediately hiccupped directly in Alberu's face. The emperor froze. Cale pointed. "See."
The emperor sighed and the baby hiccupped again. Cale looked vindicated, Alberu looked betrayed and somewhere nearby, Raon quietly informed On and Hong that the little human had clearly intimidated the invisible enemy into surrender. The misunderstanding would likely survive for months. The physician, upon learning this later, developed a headache.
Caelum, meanwhile, remained completely unaware that he had once again managed to throw the Imperial Palace into chaos simply by existing. A true Crossman-Henituse indeed.