Work Text:
Robert, only sometimes, when the nights were long and quiet, would appreciate the Z Team for all that they’d accomplished and become. Each member had Robert feeling proud, like he was watching something flourish in real time.
It was a wonderful feeling, and one that Robert would’ve loved to bask in.
"Would've" is the keyword.
It could’ve been a fantastic day, everything going as smoothly and perfectly as possible. Still, Robert knew he should’ve been on edge, or at least concerned, considering nothing could ever actually go correctly, not for him.
It wasn’t entirely Flambae’s fault, Robert knew that, yet it still pissed him off.
“Bob-Bob!” The heavy voice called out, a hand resting against the top of the brunette's office chair and spinning it forcibly around, not with an inch of effort. How impressive and annoying—an ability Flambae seemed to excel in.
Peering up through his lashes, Robert turned his gaze up towards the other male, his sad microwaved burrito resting in his lap. “Yes?” Robert questioned, with more annoyance than he wanted to give the other, considering it’d be the exact reaction Flambae was looking for.
A smirk on sharp lips proved Robert correct immediately. What an asshole.
Instead of commenting on Robert’s tone, Flambae glanced downward and pointed a finger right at Robert’s lap. “Is that seriously all you’re eating?” he questioned. "So, so sad.” A tone full of judgment that seemed nearly impossible.
“Did you seriously walk all the way up here to—" Robert pinched the bridge of his nose. “To insult my lunch?” A grin grew on Flambae’s face, which Robert knew he shouldn’t have challenged for the sanity of all those around, but letting the other man win felt like eating nails at times.
"Or did you miss me?”
“What the fuck, no? You fucking wish, Robbo.”
“Really? Looks like you’re concerned about what I’m eating.”
Okay, in retrospect, maybe it was Robert’s fault for goading Flambae into a fight.
The fiery man took a step forward, pushing further into Robert’s space as he bent down to be eye-to-eye, placing his hand atop the chair's arm. Everything, immediately afterwards, happened too fast for Robert to even process.
Pushing back on his wheeled chair too hard, Flambae’s arm, from where he’d been leaning, caused him to trip forward and atop Robert.
A face full of hairy boobs smothered the world from view, and with the weight of an elephant atop him, Robert could hear a crack from the base of the chair before he toppled hard to the floor below.
Yet, it wasn’t there.
A feeling of falling ran through Robert’s body before he collided hard with something soft, a grunt escaping him before a louder shout as something, or someone, dropped across him.
“Fuck!” Robert wheezed out, face forcibly smushed against what felt like a carpet, the weight atop him shifting and groaning. Yet, it wasn’t moving.
“Yes, take your time; don’t mind me.”
“Fuck off, fucking normie. Can't handle my weight.”
Finally, Flambae pulled himself upward, staring down at Roberts' crumbled form, tsking as if he hadn’t been the one to cause it. Robert glared over his shoulder before rolling himself over, back flat to the ground as his eyes squinted at the flickering light above him.
“Where the hell are we?”
“How am I supposed to know? You think I’m fucking Google Maps or something?”
“I wasn’t asking you—Ugh, whatever.”
Robert forced himself to his feet, ignoring the aches and pains of free-falling through the air as if to make use of the health insurance he had for the first time in, well, ever.
A series of discombobulating hallways, yellowing walls, ambient noise from the lights, and an uncomfortable smell of mold and wet carpet that sat heavy in his nose. Though being near Sonar had left Robert immune to most smells now.
Watching a rat, inside a microwave, explode changes you fundamentally and psychologically.
“Well,” Robert breathed out after a long pause of assessing their surroundings, “I can’t say this is great.”
“No fucking shit.”
“I’m just saying.”
“And I’m just saying this is your fault!”
Robert sharply turned back towards Flambae, face full of bewilderment and frustration. “My fault?” he questioned. “Last I remember, you got in my face.” Crossing his arms over his chest, glaring as Flambae steamed from the accusation.
“Yeah,” Flambae scoffed, rolling his eyes, "your fault; you made us fall.”
“You fell on me?!”
“Tomato, tomato.”
“For fuck's sake!" Robert pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling as though he’d become awfully familiar with the action. “Why, of all people, did I have to get stuck here with you?” A question more for him, yet Flambae still felt the need to answer it.
“You act like you’re some—fucking—I don't know, easy person to be around or whatever!”
Robert glared over the fist in front of his face, tired and too angry to truly debunk every thoughtless statement Flambae chose to make. “I’m not in the mood; I’m not going to argue with you in some—whatever the hell place this is."
Maybe Flambae scoffed, but Robert didn’t attempt to acknowledge it as he stepped forward, deeper into the maze that surrounded him. It was unique and frustrating, almost like the Z Team.
The two continued forward, sometimes arguing for the hell of it; otherwise, they were silent as the seriousness began to dawn on them. It wouldn’t be long before they’d need food, considering Flambae had been out in the field and hadn’t eaten his lunch yet. Robert could only hope he wouldn’t become food.
A rumbling stomach broke the silence. Robert peered over his shoulder as he watched Flambae place his hand atop his exposed stomach with an annoyed grimace. “Fuck, I’m getting hungry.”
“I bet humans taste horrible.”
“What?”
“What?”
Robert quickened his pace, ignoring Flambae's confused expression that morphed into one of realization, his voice growing distant as Robert put space between them. “I wasn’t saying I was going to fucking eat you, what the fuck” Then, a quieter grumble," "Fuck, am I going to eat? Your nonexistent ass?”
Robert could’ve tried to be offended, but he was both self-aware and making his subtle escape while he had the time, though that failed to be efficient as Flambae took half the steps Robert had taken before he was walking alongside the shorter man again.
“Wow, you made it far.” Flambae snarked as he moved closer to Robert, moving to possibly piss the other off more, until the two turned a sharp corner and came face-to-chest with a creature of some sort, horrific in all ways that Robert struggled to explain.
The thing was tall, towering over the two, its body slumped and crowding into their space. Though that wasn’t the worst part, it was the fact that the creature looked unreal, something that Robert hadn’t ever seen before.
In pure silence, nobody moved for what felt like hours, though it was only mere seconds.
“Fuck this!” Flambae shouted, Robert yelping as a large hand manhandled him under the other’s arm. While facing the creature's direction, Robert could only helplessly watch as Flambae bolted down a random hallway, and the creature immediately threw itself after the two.
“Run faster!”
“I am running as fast as I fucking can!”
“I don’t care, just go faster! It’s catching up on us!”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Do YOU want to run?!”
Before Robert could answer, Flambae took another sharp turn as the creature threw itself at them; with a booming thud, it connected with the wall where the two had just been. Not wanting to see if it was down for good, Flambae continued to run until Robert sank his nails into the other's arm, forcing Flambae to finally put him down.
“What the hell?” Flambae hissed, glaring down at Robert. “We should be far enough now,” Robert said, taking a deep breath to rid himself of the adrenaline thrumming throughout his body.
“I wasn’t asking about that. Why the fuck did you cat-claw me?”
“Oh, I just wanted you to put me down.”
Flambae stared at him, mouth wide open and eyes unblinking as he processed Roberts' statement. While he did that, Robert started looking around for any clues to their location, anything that would give him any hint, no matter how useless.
Flambae rustled behind him, likely taking a seat on the ground as he groaned, grumbling to himself. Likely annoyed, so Robert let the other soak in that and the wet carpet he sat on.
It would’ve been nice to have something to mark where they’d been, though that would be leaving a trail that Robert wasn’t sure if the monster was cognitive enough to understand.
Overall, fuck that.
The hardest part was that everything was the same; there was no outlier or marking, nothing that gave Robert the belief that there was a way out. It felt unfair; why not just kill them and get it over with?
Better yet, why the fuck did they fall through the floor of SDN? Sure, weird shit happens; Robert wouldn’t deny that. But this? Seriously?
“You’re doing that thing,” Flambae spoke up, startling Robert from his thoughts. “Doing what?” he questioned, not sure if he even wanted to know what Flambae meant. “I don’t know, you stare into the distance; it’s creepy as hell.”
Well, maybe Robert was staring into the distance because where the fuck else is he supposed to look?
“You have these dead eyes; it’s depressing.”
“Well, this might be news to you, but I'm depressed—shocking concept."
“Fuck off, I was being a considerate hero.”
Robert took a deep breath, wondering if this was even worth responding to.
…
Yeah, it was.
“Well, you’ll be a dead hero if you don’t get off your ass and help me.” Robert snapped, watching as Flambae rolled his eyes, forcing himself to stand, though his arm never left his stomach, likely still hungry.
“I was sitting down for a minute; you forget that I’m the one who carried your ass?” Flambae scoffed, breezing past Robert, taking a random direction, and starting there.
Which maybe Robert would’ve and should’ve argued over after hours of being trapped. You could shoot him in the foot, and the number of fucks he’d have was becoming startlingly low.
“Hurry your flat ass up,” Flambae yelled at Robert, who took a deep breath before following. Brown eyes followed the walls, a hand reaching out to feel the texture beneath his fingers; it felt solid, obviously. Robert wasn’t sure what he expected, maybe to fall through it the same as before.
Pulling his hand back, Robert felt his shoulders drop a fraction, his own hunger creeping up on him slowly. It had been hours since he’d eaten; his burrito had long since fallen. Robert glared at Flambae’s back, yearning for the unfinished food he’d only gotten two bites of.
The damn thing had been five dollars from the vending machine, so not only did he not get a burrito, but he wasted five dollars. Wonderful.
Resisting the urge to trip Flambae, Robert turned his gaze away as something caught the corner of his eye. “Wait,” he abruptly called out. Flambae peered over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. Though his gaze too turned quizzical as they both stared at the small pile of wood,
“What the fuck?” Flambae questioned, turning around and standing beside Robert, who shrugged in response. “It’s something, at least.” Optimism sounded dead even to himself.
Cautiously stepping forward, almost afraid something would lunge out from one of the many corners, Robert knelt and took hold of one of the bundles, hands caressing the wooden texture.
“Are you picking it up or giving it a hand job?” Flambae snarked from behind him, leaning over Roberts' body as he took the wood from his grasp. “I was trying to see if it’s actual wood.” Robert snapped as he tilted his gaze up, watching as Flambae raised an eyebrow with a growing smirk.
“Wasn’t what it looked like,” Flambae remarked, crudely exaggerating Roberts' actions.
"Yeah, you’d know a lot about that, wouldn’t you?”
“Is that a gay joke? During Pride Month?”
Robert shrugged as he grabbed another pile of wood, taking another look before dropping it and standing up. “Don’t think too much about it,” he hummed, surveying the area as Flambae placed his free hand on his muscular hip and dropped the wood he too held. “I totally should; homophobia isn’t cool, Robbo.”
“Yes, I’m totally homophobic. I only kiss guys as an aesthetic; you caught me.”
“You–what?!”
“Oh, who’s the homophobic one now?”
Flambae evidently floundered behind Robert, waving a hand through the air silently as he attempted to process Robert's very shitty way of coming out. While that happened, Robert started peaking around corners, eyes furrowing as he debated which way.
Finally, Robert chose the hallway closest to his left, the area looking more open, as opposed to the closed-off long hallways that gave him an ominous tingle in his spine. It was too closed off, the likelihood of the monster finding them again was high, and it’d be difficult to run away in such a limited space.
Luckily, without needing to be forced, Flambae followed after, his face looking complicated as he seemed to mull over what he wanted to say. “You should’ve told me,” he grumbled lowly, Robert raising an eyebrow at the other’s sulking tone. “I can’t believe you’re gay and choose to dress like that.”
“First of all, fuck you?” Robert huffed, refusing to let himself laugh. “Second, I’m bisexual.” A moment of silence passed between the two, Robert letting himself believe the moment had passed, and they could drop the topic.
Unfortunately, Robert forgot he was with Flambae, who didn’t know when to shut up.
“You dress like shit.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I mean like really bad.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome; I just wanted to make you aware.”
The conversation finally dropped, Robert allowing his face to relax as he turned another corner, the silence almost a blessing after the hours of bickering. Which, okay, it wasn’t entirely horrible. It could be worse, Robert reasoned with himself. At least it was Flambae who did pull his own weight, even though it felt like pulling teeth to admit.
Flambae was reliable, a snarky asshole that Robert felt his temper rise around, but he kept it real and alive. It was likely he would’ve lost his mind if he were alone to deal with all this, much less survive that monster.
Robert felt his heart throb for a second and could feel dread and pure hate course through him in a flicker of emotion; whatever that was would be buried six feet under and forgotten about. Because fuck that, no.
Robert turned a corner, and all prior thoughts evaporated. The monster was practically an inch at most from him. The two stared at one another, almost like that shitty meme of that one Spider-Man image.
Yes, Robert, you’re about to die. Let's think of Spider-Man.
Slowly, Robert took a few steps back before leaving the way he came, the monster, if it had a face, likely dumbfounded.
Flambae, ever so clueless, simply followed as Robert took another corner and continued to walk away, making it down the hallway before the monster came back to itself and gave chase, its body nearly galloping right at the two.
“It was right fucking there?!” Flambae nearly screamed as he took off running, grabbing Robert once more, and this time he resigned himself to his fate as he hung there, luckily this time face forward. “It was right there, and your fucking idea was to walk away?!”
Robert, truthfully, could only shrug in his defense. “I thought it would respect my nonchalance?”
“There is something deeply wrong with you!”
“Pot meet kettle.”
Flambae loosed his grip, and Robert quickly held on tighter as he glared up at the other man, the argument forgotten as the monster grew closer with a loud thud against the wall opposite them.
Several more turns later, and the monster was still on their asses; this time, it refused to let up, maybe it got a view of Flambae’s ass and got hungry or something. Robert would’ve snickered if his life weren't in complete danger.
While passing one of the hallways, Robert caught sight of a hole in the wall that reached taller than either of them, and it was something new.
“There!” Robert yelled as he pointed down the hallway. Flambae pivoted on his heel as he threw them between the creature's legs and down the new hallway. Robert held on tighter as they drew nearer. This time, there were no hallways beside the one they ran down. Now, officially cornered.
“Wow, great! You led us down a dead-end!” Flambae snarked as he moved them closer towards the furthest wall as the creature started taking its time down the hallway. As if it were having fun with this, what the hell.
Robert turned toward the hole in the wall. “We need to get up there!” he said, peering over his shoulder towards Flambe expectantly as the other stared back at him in pure confusion. “And how the hell can we do that?” he questioned.
Robert stared.
Flambae stared back.
“You can fly!” Robert shouted, throwing his arms up in pure disbelief. Flambae crossed his arms over his chest. “I fucking knew that!” he hissed out. “I was just testing you, yeah.”
“Then do it!”
“Do what?”
"For fuck's sake, fly!”
As the monster drew near, Flambae’s lower half was covered in flames as he pulled himself up into the air, grabbing Robert like you would a hissy cat. Dignity beneath him, Robert could only be grateful that they were finally leaving this hellhole.
The room behind them lit on fire, though Robert wasn’t sure how long it’d stay alight. At least long enough for them to escape, considering the monster backed away from the flames and down the hallway.
As the two entered the darkness of escape, Robert took a deep look into Flambaes unique eyes, and maybe Flambae flushed from the look on doe brown eyes.
“This is still your fault.”
Robert was promptly dropped.