Chapter Text
Chapter 1: this bitchass aurafarming LOSER
Hoody has just moved to St. Louis. He feels a little shitty bc he moved to the fucking hood, but it isn’t so bad there. you just have to get used to the occasional gunshots being heard. One time his friend actually recorded a shootout and sent it to him on Snapchat. Oh wait no that was sent to me sorry. Hoody was walking to the corner store when he saw 3 skinny men, one in a black and white flower hoodie, one in a black wifebeater and one in a white tee and chain. Their pants are all skinny asf bc its the south (its actually a midwestern state with southern influences but whatever). FOLK 😭✌️✌️✌️ they were all playing dice and asked hoodydude if he wanted to play. Hoodydude declined. To many yt palm colored cracker folk reading, bc a lot of digital circus fans are, you might not comprehend why he would do this. A lot of times if you win the game of dice, its clips if ykwim. So its best to just avoid it. Hoody walks into the corner store for sum eats but can only cop a bag of flaming hot funyuns. He buys the bag of chips and leaves the store. hes rlly bored in the hometown of Sexxy Red. Hoody looks up things to do but nothing seems interesting. Then he remembers his friend telling him about how cool urban exploring was and they should really do it some time. Hoody looks up abandoned places in St. Louis. He finds this one abandoned office building. It was called C&A. He decided to go check it out first before telling his friend, incase there was some wack shit there. or i guess to see if it was safe. He walks all the way up to it since its not far. As hoody scopes around the area, he notices a big graffiti dick ejactulating.
“Ew”, he thought.
He tried to get as far away from it as possible bc hes not gay. He respects gay people tho, since a lot of his fans are gay but he personally is not gay. He saunters throughout the building and climbs up the stairs to the second floor. Its a huge office space, still has cubicles and everything. In one cubicle, Hoody sees a woman. She was a brunette with bangs and short hair. She was average weight and about 5’3. She had on a white blouse and shorts. In her hand she was holding a weird old looking headset.
“Yo what the heck is that?” Hoody asked her.
The woman looks startled by the presence of someone else but quickly adjusts.
“Oh its just a weird headset thing-a-ma-jig i found on this desk right here. I tried it on but all it did was flash some weird green light on my eyes, almost like it was scanning me.” She tells Hoody. She gives the headset to him. Hoody examines the device.
“You think its some CIA device or something?” Hoody says, trying to get a good look at it and taking in what she said.
“I dunno. Seems kinda creepy though.”
“Yo should i try it on?”
“I mean you can if you want.”
“Wait no im Hispanic so the government might actually want to track me.” Hoody says, still thinking its a cia device. He thinks the government is racist.
“Its probably fine. I did some research on this place and it didn’t say anything about C&A working with the government.” The woman says, trying to reassure him.
“Whats your name by the way?” Hoody asks her.
“Oh my name is Abby”
“Oh thats tuff. I think my friend’s dog was named that.” says Hoody.
Abby does a slight eye roll at this comment but smiles after, admiring the dumbness of this statement.
“My name is Alex. Or you can call me Hoody. Thats my youtube channel name, Hoodydude.”
“Ohh cool! Youre a youtuber too?” Abby exclaims.
“Yeah i post reaction videos.”
“Ohhh reaction videos…” Abby said, looking kind of annoyed and feeling awkward. Reaction channels weren’t really respected back in 2017.
“Oh she wasnt feeling that” Alex thinks. He scrambles to try and save this conversation, realizing he kinda fucked it up by saying that.
“I do real reactions though. Not like the ones Jinx does where he just reacts to a video and gives no commentary. I dont steal videos.”
“Well thats much better than what i thought” Abby says, relieved. “Lemme look up your channel.” Abby types in the words “Hoodie dude” on her screen but some random channel shows up.
“No its spelt H-O-O-D-Y dude and theres no spaces.”
Abby types the correct name and finds Alex’s channel. “Oh my gosh you have so many subscribers!” Abby says, shocked at how big his channel is. Shes a little more embarrassed about her channel now.
“What’s your channel?”
“Its named AbbyAdventures57, no spaces either. I do urban exploring. I was actually recording a video before you found me.”
“Oh my fault if i messed that up” Alex feels guilty.
“Nooo youre good. I already had my camera paused before you got here.”
Theres a bit of awkward silence since they dont really know what to say.
“Yo should i actually try this on tho” Alex says, breaking the silence.
“Weren’t you like scared a few minutes ago?” Abby chuckles.
“No im actually curious what this’ll do to me”
“Yk you wanna do it” Abby said in a taunting way.
“Yolo i guess” Alex says before putting on the headset. He sees a huge green light scan his eyes. On the screen, a message pops up. In green text, it says “scanning complete”. Freaked out, he takes the headset off.
“Yo wtf”
“Weird right?”
“That shit was like going into my eyes and scanning my head and shit man. That shi was bouta blind me bro.”
“Why do you think it was trying to scan us?”
“Maybe its like them trying to get our brain information to make clones of us.”
“Or maybe they can figure out how human behavior works so its easier to make clones.” Abby adds.
“Yo we might be onto something” Abby and Alex keep bonding and Abby says
“Well whatever it is, i might have to head out.”
“Wait can i get your instagram?”
“Yea sure!”
Alex adds Abby on instagram. Alex dabs Abby up.
“Well uh see you around i guess.” Alex says to Abby.
“Bye, Alex!”
Alex and Abby leave the office, not knowing what they just did.
***
A new character pops up in the digital circus. He has a floating basketball head with yellow eyes, hazel pupils, a small mouth and a red hoodie on. his arms and legs are gone but he still has feet and hands. Kind of like Rayman. Scared, he goes to hide behind a big, red curtain on the stage he spawned on. He watches the events unfolding from behind the curtain.
A short jester with a blue and red vertically striped hat is freaking out just in front of the new character. Her hat has yellow lining on the bottom and little yellow balls at the end of it. She has brunette bangs sticking out of the hat, similar to Abby. She has blue and red pupils, much like the top of a beach ball but only with two colors. The jester has a little yellow collar on her outfit and two big poof sleeves, which really looked like beach balls, especially with the small yellow circle on the top. Her shirt had two yellow buttons, left side being blue and right side being red and yellow lining at the bottom of the shirt. She had puffy bicolor beach ball like shorts that were also blue and red, with the bottom cuffs being yellow. There were yellow cuffs on top of her shoes and her left shoe was blue and right shoe was red. Her gloves looked the same, just the colors were swapped. She looked very distressed about the predicament she was in. The basketball head mentally decided to call her Tumbler, but that wasnt funny enough so then he came up with the name Bungle.
“Who are you people? Why can’t I take it off? WHERE AM I?” Bungle screamed.
Just then, a ragdoll looking character came up to the jester to try and console her. The slender ragdoll looked much like Raggedy Anne, though instead of an apron or red and white striped socks, she just had on a blueish purple dress with puffed sleeves, a white collar and tons of dark blue patches on her dress. She also sported a blueish purple bow on her head.
As the ragdoll was consoling the jester, 4 other members of the circus were also there. There was a white king chess piece with a purple royal coat on. On the far right only in direction, a weird mismatched toy with a pink triangle head and yellow body with orange polka dots, much like Zolo toys from the 90s or porygon from pokemon. On the far left, there was a red, swirly ribbon with floating ribbons for legs and arms and theater masks for her head, though she has on her tragedy mask because her comedy mask is broken. In front of her stood a tall, purple, rubber, anthropomorphic bunny with yellow eyes, black, square pupils, a creepy Cheshire Cat smile, light red overalls, yellow Bugs Bunny gloves and two yellow buttons holding the straps on his overalls together above one pocket on his chest. They were all standing on a theater stage over looking what can only be described as a very abstract, toy box looking place.
Bungle was still freaking out, exclaiming
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” Before a weird censor bar appeared above her mouth. Just then, a weird teeth creature, much like teeth models you’d see at the dentist in a black top-hat, red suit and bowtie and black boots showed up and said
“Now, now, now my dear. We cant have any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen! E-Except for swearing.”
The jester starts swearing a ton to test this out and gets censored all those times.
“Oh my god.” She said in realization. “Well how do i, you know, leave?”
The teeth man doesn’t know how to answer this. The ragadoll tries to let the jester down easy by saying
“Well, don’t freak out about anything but, we don’t exactly-“
but the bunny pops in and exclaims
“You can’t!”
“What?” Bungle said.
The zolo porygon toy shuts the bunny down but also adds to his statement.
“Shut up, Jax. But, yeah, he’s right. Welcome to your new home. And your new body.”
Bungle is worried about this news, thinking about how she might not ever see her friends, family, or anything she loves ever again because of the situation shes in.
“N-N-New home? What do you mean?”
The ragadoll tries to reign them in by saying
“Guys, don’t be mean.”
The annoying rabbit named Jax pops in again, hunching a little more to her level and says
“We’ve been stuck here for YEARS.”
He holds his hand out in the direction of a pillow fort, of which the chess piece pops out of.
“Old Kinger over there has supposedly been here the longest.” Jax says in a slightly condescending way.
“Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?” Kinger says. Bungle wonders if he has dementia.
Jax hangs in closer to the jester.
“that’s why he’s CRAAZAAYYY, heheh.”
He makes a spinning motion with his pointer finger on the side of his head to signify how crazy Kinger is. The jester looks even more startled by both the information that she cant leave and also being in close proximity to Jax and starts hyperventilating. Bungle’s pupils turn into scribbles as she freaks out. She then goes into denial and says
“Ohhhhh ok! Now i get it! This is a dream, and i should just play along until i wake up, right?”
Everyone looks like there’s something they dont want to tell her, so Jax does it for them.
“Whatever you say, kid.”
The ribbon says in a very scared and sad voice
“They broke my comedy mask…” as Jax steps on it, breaking it even more. Truly brutal.
“So, Caine, we having a new adventure today for the newbie, or what?”
The teeth man named Caine replies,
“I’d like to give our brand new member a tour of the circus grounds first.”
Caine takes Bungle by her arm and teleports out of the circus. After the basketball head watched all of this, he moves his foot which makes a creak on the wooden stage floor. Jax hears this, starts scanning around and notices an orange head peaking through the curtain and opens the curtain up to reveal the basketball head.
“Hey there’s another freak behind this curtain.”
Kinger walks over to the basketball head.
“Wow, hes a little basketball! Say, are you an npc?” Kinger asks.
“I’m not no dang npc, cuddy, I’m a human” basketball head replies, offended by the notion of him being a bot. Hes a real one. Hes not a bot like all these lames.
“Yikes, he’s feisty. You just look kinda dumb.” Jax shrugs and leans in closer to basketball head. “Thats why we were wonderringgg”.
“FUCK YOU MEAN I LOOK DUMB? You wearing them stupid ass, dumb ass overalls. Go work in a farm in the fields you cocksucking bitch.” Basketball head says, angered.
“Im not black sorry.” Jax says, attempting to ragebait basketball head.
“Are you racist??”
“Maybe? Maybe im not? Whatever makes you more mad is what i am.”
“Well i think youre a loser bitch.”
“I don’t remember my body being a reflective surface.”
“What is with these corny ass middle school cartoon insults. Just talk normally.”
“This is how i talk normally.”
Just then, Kinger, Jax and basketball head notice Caine coming back with Bungle. Bungle throws up black, oil looking sludge. Caine’s little bubble friend aptly named Bubble licks up the vomit.
“Eugh” said basketball head, disgusted. “Wait how do our bodies work?”
“Who knows?” says jax trollishly.
The porygon toy walks up to them.
“We all have different character gimmicks according to what body Caine gave us. Thats why you dont have arms.. or legs.”
Bungle asks Caine about a supposed exit door she saw. Jax and the porygon toy walk down from the stage to Bungle.
“What exit? If there was a way to leave, im pretty sure we’d have all left by now.” Jax says, using zolo toy’s arm as a back scratcher. Zolo toy’s detached arm chokes Jax because of this.
“Yeah what are you talking about?”
Bubble has completely licked up the vomit like a fat person when they get ice cream while Caine struggles to come up with a reason Bungle was seeing an exit door.
“i assure you there is no ‘magical exit door’. You’re probably just experiencing DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS.” Caine says in a totally non gaslighting way.
“But i swear i saw it-“
“DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS!!” Caine calmly assures her.
Caine tries to change the subject to Bungle’s name.
“Howww about we talk about something else! Like your name!!”
“My name? Uh my name is… uhhhh… UHHHHHHHHH OH GOD. WHY CANT I REMEMBER MY NAMEEE?!” Bungle shrieks, horrified.
“Nobody can remember their name once they enter the digital circus! One of the few things i dont have control over is your minds.”
“Why’d he ask her what her name was? Dipfuck.” Basketball head thinks.
“So all i can help you with is coming up with a new one!”
“Uhhhhhhhhhh what’s my naaamee.” Bungle still tries to think of her name.
“Dont you worry your little head. You’re new name can be anything!”
Caine then goes on a rant that sounds like a terms of service agreement. Basketball head finds this really weird and doesn’t like Caine. Basketball head walks closer to see Bungle’s name choosing process.
“What do YOU think her name should be?” Jax asks basketball head.
“Uh ion know. Bungle?”
“Hey this new guy wants to name her Bungle.” Jax shouts at Caine.
“Wowie! Two new humans in one day? We’ve never had this before! This games getting pretty popular! We’re close to getting some really weird fans!”
“We sure are, maybe in a couple weeks.” Jax says.
“We have to pick your name too.”
“Didnt we already pick her name? I said Bungle.”
“It must come from the player what their name should be!” Caine corrects.
“Honestly i dont really care.” The jester said.
“Well I do! Heres the randomizer!”
Caine pulls the lever on the randomizer, which just looks like a slot machine. It lands on XDDCC.
“Whatdi’ya think of XDDCC?” Caine asks the jester.
“I don’t-”
“Youre right! Terrible! Lets try that again!”
Caine pulls the lever again and it lands on POMNI.
“What do ya think of Pomni?”
“Uh- I- Sure… i think i just-“
“That suits her right, Jax!”
Basketball head stills wants to call “Pomni” Bungle so he makes that his nickname for her. Caine then turns his attention to basketball head.
“And now for you my little sports ball friend! What shall we call you?!” Caine looks at him in anticipation. Basketball head tries to think of what to call himself. He doesn’t remember his real name but he can remember a nickname he has and what he called his youtube channel.
“Hoody. Ill call myself Hoody.” He says, sure about himself.
“GGGREAT choice, Hoody!” Caine gives him a thumbs up.
“Now we must have a new adventure for our new members Pomni and Hoody!” Caine says in a very loud voice. Hoody would rather him just shut up at this point.
“I just said that like 5 minutes ago.” Jax says, confused.
“Do you guys like Adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?” Caine pulls out a comically large angel food cake and offers it to Hoody and “Pomni”/Bungle but then Bubble eats it.
“YOU PARASITE!” Caine yells at Bubble and pops him. “Since you both are new around here, we’re gonna make it a simple in house adventure to warm you up to how things work around here!” Caine said.
“What? No. god. I dont want an in house adventure.” Says the porygon toy.
“Dont worry, Zooble. I’ll make it something unobtrusive as possible that you can still choose to not get involved with.” Caine pats their back to soothe them i guess.
Hoody likes Zooble for the fact that she just minds her business and stays in her own lane. He’s starting to not like Jax though and wants him to die because he’s very irritating.
“Why is he giving me shit cause I’m new. The fuck?”
This is a start to a very wonderful friendship with Jax i’m sure. Hoody also feels sorry for Bungle because she seems to be having an panic episode because of how frightening the situation is for her. He doesn’t have an opinion on the comedy sad ribbon guy or the chess guy yet.
“Today’s adventure is GATHER THE GLOINKS!” Caine announces to the circus members and snaps to have a the words “GATHER THE GLOINKS” appear above his head. Hoody misread this to say “Gather the Goons” and was confused. Caine then starts manically laughing which really annoys Hoody.
“Thats right! The entire circus tent will be infested with gloinks, and you gotta catch ‘em all!” Caine says in a local car dealership commercial voice.
“But what are they?” Bubble asks.
“I’m glad you asked, Bubble! They’re
small-“ Caine starts to answer but Bubble cuts him off mid sentence.
“And what do they do? How do they-“ Caine pops Bubble again.
“Gloinks are small, mischievous critters that steal anything and everything they run into. Why do these humanoid hash browns do this? How do you stop them? Thats for you to find out.”
Caine disappears in a cloud, leaving everyone to do this adventure. Hoody wonders if the gloinks are actually children stuck in the bodies of weird shapes trapped in the digital circus, though unlikely. He also sees Caine as an evil Hugh Jackman. Theres a second of silence before Bungle asks,
“What did any of that mean?”
The ragdoll answers her,
“Ohhh thats just one of Caine’s little adventures. They’re just something fun to do to, you know, prevent us from… going insane…”
“Is Caine like evil Jack Hughman- i mean Hugh Jackman?” Hoody asks the ragdoll.
“Caine isn’t necessarily evil, he just sometimes doesn’t understand us with him being an ai and all.” The ragdoll answers
“So is he autistic?” Hoody questions.
“I mean i guess. He’s not human though so he’s not capable of having autism.” the ragdoll says, not really knowing what to say to that. “I’m Ragatha, by the way.”
Hoody nods. “Hi Ragatha.”
“Well I’m gonna get out of here. If anyone needs me then fuck off.” Zooble says. She then gets her body taken apart by gloinks. “OH JEEZ OH GOD!” She screams as the gloinks mutilate her.
The ribbon covers her mouth in shock while Jax watches.
“Oh no. They killed Zooble.” Jax says in the most corny, sarcastic way possible.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAX. GET THE FUCK OUT WITH YOUR DUMBASS NONCHALANT SHIT.” Hoody shouts.
“Get a load of this guy.” Jax points at Hoody. Jax basically ignores him after that.
“Anyways, you guys wanna go get something to eat?” Jax says.
“Oh wait! We should go check on Kaufmo. I’m pretty sure he’d like to meet Pomni.”
“Isn’t that kind of racist?” Hoody asks Ragatha.
“No. I never meant it that way. I meant he might wanna see someone like him for a change so he’d feel less alone!”
“I guess.” Hoody says i guess.
The gloinks gang up on the chess piece’s pillow fort and take it apart.
“MY IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS.” The chess piece exclaims.
“You want to come with us to check on Kaufmo, Kinger?” Ragatha asks Kinger.
“No. Not really. I think Kaufmo’s gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Pomni. You might be going insane too!” Kinger tells them.
“But wait. Wouldn’t that more likely mean the exit does exist?” Pomni questioned.
“Could also mean you have a jumpstart on losing your mind.” Jax taunts.
“I mean we just got here so i assume not.” Hoody says.
“No one was asking you.” Jax replies rudely.
“No one was asking you either, fuckface.” Hoody retorts.
“Ok guys let’s calm down. Let’s try to be at least halfway respectful here.” Ragatha tries to get them to back off of each other.
“Well, i think I’d like to ask him about it. Uhh if this was real, which it isnt, because its a dream.” Pomni says, still in denial.
“Nice coping mechanism.” Hoody says.
Jax chuckles.
“She still thinks this is a dream.” Jax says then stares at Ragatha and Hoody with a huge mischievous grin.
“Uh why are you look at me like that?” Ragatha says.
“yea why are you looking at me like that? you wanna fuck?” Hoody also says.
“No im not gay unlike you. I bet Zooble would if you were a girl. SHES the gay one.” Jax says, pleased with himself.
“Jax, leave her alone and him alone!” Ragatha yells at him.
“Ugh you guys are so lame.” Jax says, annoyed at being called out. “Well I’m fine with coming as long as i can see funny things happen to people.”
A green, square gloink bumps Jax on the head.
“Alright, i already had enough of these things.” Jax says.
“You, me, and Pomni, will go check on Kaufmo.”Jax points at Ragatha, then at himself and then at Pomni.
“Who the fuck made you leader, cuck?” Said Hoody. Jax pauses and stares at Hoody before continuing.
“Which leaves Crybaby,” Jax points at the ribbon guy, “and Hoo-Hah together to go handle the Zooble situation.”
Ragatha chuckles nervously. “Do you think pairing them together is a good idea?”
“Of course I do” Jax says hoarsely. “Theyre the two most mentally stable and capable characters to be paired together. C’mon ladies, let’s go harass the clown.”
“What about me though?” Hoody asks.
“You cant come with us because youre a fairy goy.” Jax tell Hoody.
“What the fuck is a goy?”
“No he can come with us. Hoody might want to look around at his new home too.” Ragatha tries to include Hoody, much like a mother trying to make her son feel better after her and her husband had a fight over the bills.
“This mf think he tuff. He tryna aurafarm for da hoes. Thats what hes doin bruh. LOOK. Cuddi its like in scooby doo and freddy. ‘Shaggy, Scooby, yall go by yallselves. Me and daphne tho, me and daphne and velma aye, we’ll go in this hallway and bedroom too.’ What the fuck?! WEIRD ASS GANG.” Hoody thinks to himself as they all walk towards to bedroom quarters. Hoody sees “crybaby” and kinger interact.
“My comedy mask broke again” the ribbon says, still broken up about her comedy mask.
“AHH oh! Gangle, you startled me!” Kinger exclaims. Hoody snickers at this. Kinger is now his favorite person here.
Ragatha, Jax, Bungle and Hoody walk in the living quarters hallway.
“So, this is where we all live. Or well, where we all sleep at night. Even though we dont really need to sleep, it’s sometimes nice to take a break from everything and have a bit of a routine you know.” Ragatha explained.
“Yea” Hoody replies.
“I’m sure there will be one forrr- oh look! You already got one! And Hoody’s is right next to yours. How about that!”
“Phenomenal” said Jax, rolling his eyes.
“I still dont understand. About the adventures. Why even go on them at all? Why not try to find a way to leave?” Pomni says anxiously.
“Well we usually do, when we first arrive. But after a while you start to realize you really can’t leave. And constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy.” Ragatha brushed back her hair with her hand to soothe herself. “And eventually you get to the point of asking what anything is and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you’re even alive and when you reach your breaking point, something really terrible can happen.” She takes a second to compose herself after that rant, looking kind of sickly.
“Like killing yourself?” Hoody asked
“yea i guess. though its more involuntary but its kind of like suicide.” Ragatha explained to Hoody. They all keep walking until they reach Kaufmo’s door. “Uh but thats not something that we need to deal with today. Above anything else, the adventures give us something to do that keeps our minds healthy and stimulated!”
“Thank goodness this is all a dream, right, Pomni?” Jax says to Pomni mockingly. Pomni looks even more traumatized and her pupils turn into scribbles again. Jax then hits her face twice to snap her out of it.
“Dont fucking touch her!” Said Hoody.
“Whaaat, is she your girllfriend?” Jax said tauntingly.
“No. Just leave her alone.” Hoody said. Hoody wasn’t interested in her. He just hates Jax.
“Why are we here again? What are we doing?” Pomni says, dazed.
“We’re getting one of our friends.” Ragatha answers. Ragatha rings Kaufmo’s doorbell and they all wait for him to answer. They wait for a few seconds but he doesn’t open the door.
“Is he dead?” Hoody asks, not very seriously.
Ragatha tries to come up with a reason why hes not answering.
“Maybee hes not in his room? I hope he’s alright.”
“Don’t worry, dollface. I’ve got a key to his room.” Jax says as he twirls the key around with his fingers.
“Of course you do, you fuckin weirdo.” Hoody says.
“Yeesh you swear a lot, Hoody.” said Jax.
“Wa-wa-WHY? You-you-you shouldn’t have keys to anyones room!” Ragatha says, extremely concerned by this. Jax walks to Kaufmo’s door and kneels to open it.
“Nah, i’ve got keys everywhere! And you’ve all been fine.” Jax inserts the key in the keyhole then turns his head to Ragatha. “By the way, I might’ve left something in your room today so, lemme know if you find it! Ehh you’re not afraid of centipedes, are ya?” Jax says slyly.
“JAX! Thats literally my only fear, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!” Says Ragatha angrily.
Jax turns the key in the keyhole.
“Whaaat? It could be a completely unrelated question! You’ll never know until its too late.”
Jax opens the door to Kaufmo’s room to see a horrifying sight. He seemed to have wrote exit a ton of times on the wall in red marker, along with some very scary framed photography on the walls. Hoody wonders if he liked taking pictures. There’s also many drawings of Kaufmo looking sad or distressed on the walls too. On the right wall, there is a drawing of Caine’s head chasing Kaufmo and Kaufmo running away, presumably because Caine is going to eat him. Right next to the drawing, the words “NO WAY OUT” is written. In the middle of the room, a large, black dinosaur like creature is is hulking inside the room. It has 4 large legs and body and a long neck, but no head. There are different colored eyes across its whole body, some pink, some blue, and some yellow. Jax spots a blue bowling ball at Kaufmo’s door.
“I’ve been looking for this! Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufie. Im gonna head out, cya.” Jax says. Jax then dashes away from the living quarters, leaving Hoody, Ragatha, and Pomni.
“Oh! Kaufmo’s… been abstracted…! Thats ok!” Ragatha says trying to not freak everyone out more than they are. Pomni’s mouth gapes open.
“What… is that??” Pomni says, horrified.
“A biblically accurate angel i think?” says Hoody.
“It might be that terrible thing i was talking about earlier, when you reach your breaking point!” Ragatha says, afraid.
Pomni shrieks a little and Hoody just looks scared.
“Wait. Maybe theres still time to fix him before we get Caine!” Ragatha says, trying to reassure Pomni and Hoody. Abstracted Kaufmo then walks out the door towards Ragatha, Hoody and Pomni and smacks Ragatha to the ground.
“Yea i dont really mess with Jax but i kinda agree with him on this. Imma dip. See yall later.” Hoody says and then sprints out of the hallway. Hoody dashes through the entrance to the hallway and runs all the way downstairs. He keeps running and then stumbles into Kinger and Gangle looking at a big hole. He can hear Zooble screaming from it.
“I dont know what I’m looking at here.” Kinger says.
“We saw gloinks carry one of Zooble’s pieces down there, remember?” says Gangle in a very sad voice.
“Oh! Yeah! Thank you for the recap. Boy, we’re not very good at this, are we?” Kinger says.
“Good at what?” Hoody joins in the conversation.
“We arent good at this adventure here, Hoody.” Kinger says.
“Do we know you?” Gangle says, not remembering who Hoody was.
“Thats Hoody! The new member that came after Pomni!” Kinger says.
“Ohh right, i must’ve forgot. Hi Hoody.” Gangle waves nervously. “I’m surprised you remembered and i didnt, Kinger.”
“Remember what?” Kinger forgets immediately.
Jax runs towards them, panting and hunches over while catching his breath.
“Eughhh… sup… fellas.” Jax says. He puts his hands in his pocket nonchalantly. This really pisses off Hoody, as he sees Jax as a douche. “Who tf does this mf think he is?? Nonchalant ass!! I swear if hes the one with the darkest backstory im actually gonna crash out cuddy,” Hoody thinks to himself. Kinger notices Jax after he says this and exclaims,
“JAX! We found the Zooble hole!”
“Cool.” Jax says nonchalantly.
“How’s Kaufmo? I hope he’s not still mad at me not laughing at his jokes...” Gangle worriedly says.
“Well i mean if he’s not funny, hes not funny.” Hoody states.
“True… i guess…” Gangle says sadly.
“Oh he’s doing GREEEEAAATT! In fact, i dont think ive ever seen him this happy before!” Jax says sarcastically cs obviously fucking hes not.
“Well its good to know he hasn’t completely lost his mind.” Kinger said.
A huge growl is heard in the background, presumably Kaufmo’s.
“He actually asked me to give you this!” Jax says as he holds up the blue bowling ball. He then chucks the bowling ball at Kinger, which it cartoonishly ricocheted off Kinger to hit Hoody in the face, causing them both to fall into the hole. Kinger tries to grab onto the top of the hole but ends up bringing Gangle down with him. Gangle lets out a scream as she hits her head on the floor before her ribbon body is pulled down the hole.
Hoody, Kinger and Gangle’s bodies are hugged around each other as they roll down a huge slide, with Jax following after them and the bowling ball in front of them. The bowling ball misses the bowling pins at the bottom of the slide but Kinger, Hoody and Gangle tumble right into it.
“Golly, yall were like holding onto my head real hard.” Hoody says as they all get off each other.
“We’re sorry, Hoody”, Gangle says in a sad way.
“Your head is great for bowling though! Look we even got a spare! How about that.” Kinger says.
Right in front of them, theres a giant gloink queen. Shes a flat, worm looking creature thats red with yellow spots and blue lining. She has tons of eyes and another head as her butt, like a two headed snake. The tiny gloinks, presumably her children, which are tiny, colored shapes with eyes, feed her a table, which her other end burps out.
“What the fuck?!” Hoody exclaims at the sight of the gloink queen.
“An insect collection?” Kinger wondered. He was asking about insects earlier.
“I think its a nest.” Gangle says.
They stare at each other for a few seconds while Kinger screams randomly.
The gloink queen addresses them.
“What form of non-gloinkinian mass dares presume presence in the nest of the Gloink Queen?”
Jax nonchalantly looks at his finger nails, despite not having any. Hes trying really hard to look tuff.
“Oh, is that who you are? You know, you could have asked for my consent before forcing me to see something so completely and utterly disgusting.” Jax replies to the Gloink Queen.
The gloink queen is callously offended (idk i learned that word from a Boondocks bit.) and angry at Jax for his rude words to her, a queen.
“How despicable, a rabbitoid that runs its mouth in the presence of my royal figure!” Said the Gloink Queen.
Kinger, Hoody and Gangle are kneeling to the queen as to not stir up problems but Jax doesn’t do that cause hes a bitch. wants to stand up the the institution of monarchy like a true based libertarian.
“Well, as a royal myself, I would like to kindly ask if-“ Kinger says then stops his sentence when he notices Zoobles head being carried by gloinks.
“ ...Oh, look there's Zooble! Hi, Zooble!” Kinger greets Zooble instead of helping them.
“UGH, HELP ME, YOU IDIOTS!” Zooble says in an unpleasant tone.
“Kinda rude, Zooble. Now I don't wanna help you!” Jax says in a ragebaiting way.
“MY HEAD IS GETTING CARRIED BY THESE GLOINKS AND YOU GUYS ARE JUST STARING AT ME! IS THAT NOT REASONABLE TO BE MAD ABOUT?!” Zooble shouts.
Kinger and Hoody play rock paper scissors to see who will go get Zoobles head. Hoody loses and Kinger moves onto Gangle, to which he wins again.
“Oh, I always lose...” Gangle says in a depressed tone as she covers her face in shame.
“Yes!” Kinger is happy he won.
“Lets go Kinger!” Hoody says.
Kinger walks to the gloinks and grabs Zooble’s head, but he doesn’t have arms, much look Hoody, so he forgets to pull Zooble up and his hands kind of go along with her as the gloinks take her to the queen to feed Zooble to her.
“Hey! KINGER YOU MOTHERF-“
Before Zooble finishes her insult, she gets eaten by the gloink queen.
“EEEEE!!” Gangle shrieks and covers her eyes at the sight of this. Hoody just watches in awe.
“Ehhh they’ll be fine.” Jax says. He then notices a tiny gloink glitching out, almost like it was touched by an abstraction. The other gloinks watch their sibling as its dying while Jax’s eyes dart back and forth, concerned about his own safety.
“You foolish assortment of colorful characters!” The gloink queen said in a booming voices. She raises her head to the ceiling to show disapproval towards Jax, Gangle, Hoody and Kinger. “Do you not realize everything must be Gloinks!? I am Gloinks. You will be Gloinks! God will be Gloinks!”
“What the heck even is she? Is she like a fanny pack?” Hoody asks Kinger.
“I dont know. She definitely not an insect though, unfortunately…” Kinger says, disappointed.
“This is dumb and weirddd.” Jax says in a tone of disgust.
“Well, B- uh-“ the gloink queen stutters. “Y- Yet you're still watching it!”
“I'm not here for the adventure or anything, I'm just here to hide from the-“
Just then, Abstracted Kaufmo falls throw the ceiling and lands on the gloink queen’s back, causing her to throw up. Kinger is blown back by the impact of Zooble’s head being shot out of the gloink queen’s mouth. Kinger gets his hands back, which were attached to Zooble’s head.
“Oh, thank god youre ok! You didnt experience a game show in there did you?” Kinger asks Zooble.
“Uh.. I-“ Zooble looks confused. “What are you talking about?”
Abstracted Kaufmo starts beating up the gloink queen like a rabid animal but also looked a little suspicious.
“Is he giving her backshots?” Hoody asks.
Jax snorts at this but then gets mad bc its Hoody talking.
“What’s happening?!” Gangle says, worried.
“It's just Kaufmo.” Jax says, apathetically. “Don't worry about it.”
“Oh ok.” Hoody says.
A few seconds of silence ensue, as Abstracted Kaufmo continues beating up the Gloink Queen.
“KAUFMO ABSTRACTED?!”Gangle screams. She puts her hands up to her face in shock and worry.
“Nahhh he’s fineeee” Jax says as Abstracted Kaufmo punches the gloink queen 4 more times in the background.
“YOU'RE RIGHT! HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?!?” Kinger says, worried.
“Guys... Over there.” Zooble states and points with her eyes at the escalators in the corner.
“Huh.” Kinger says, feeling relieved.
They all start walking towards the escalator.
“Ladies first!” Jax says to Gangle, pretending to be nice. “Wait no, why would i say that.” Then he pushes her to the ground.
“W domestic abuse?” Hoody says, making fun of Jax.
“We’re not in a relationship. It’s just regular meanness.” Jax clarifies and he walks on the escalator.
“Nah youre weird bro.” Hoody says. “Yo are you good?” Hoody asks Gangle.
“Yeah im ok. Thanks Hoody!” Gangle smiles and they walk on the escalator. Jax makes a displeased noise but then goes back to being nonchalant. Kinger also hops on behind them with Zoobles head in his hand.
“Wait.. Pomni's not even here?” Zooble says, angry and annoyed. “Wasn't this whole thing for her?!” Theyre upset that they basically had their whole body torn apart by gloinks for no reason.
“Be quiet. I can't hear the escalator...” Jax says to Zooble. Jax closes his eyes, enjoying the sounds of the escalator like he’s listening to prime Fetty Wap or Lil Peep idk or the living tombstone is probably more relatable to the people reading this. I was gonna say steve lacy but he’s still in his prime because his music is STILL peak.
They get back upstairs and see Caine and Pomni. Pomni looks completely traumatized, considering she just went into the void, which Caine fished her out of.
“Caine! Kaufmo went through a sort of Kaufmosis and abstracted!” Kinger exclaims at Caine.
“Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?!”
Caine says in a cartoonish voice and sticks his tongue out. Pomni just looks at Caine, extremely uncomfortable. Caine snaps his fingers and summons the Abstracted Kaufmo over to him, while the latter growls furiously.
“And into the cellar you go!” Caine sends Kaufmo into a hole which leads to the cellar.
Zoobles body walks over as she grabs her head.
“Man, I can't believe Kaufmo just gave up like that.” Zooble says disappointed. “I mean, no offense Kinger, but I always thought you would be next.”
“Thank youu.” Kinger says gladly.
“Little weird you took that as a compliment but i guess.” Said Zooble.
“Guess it just goes to show you can't rely on Kinger for anything.” says Jax, probably the least reliable person here.
“Man hop off my goat bruh.” Says Hoody
“Whaaat is he your- wait no i already did that bit. Uhhhh i didnt think you could ride goats like you do horses.” Jax says, knowing his joke sucks.
“Shouldve kept that in your head, cuddy.” Said Hoody.
“Yeah.” Jax slumps down and looks at the floor.
“Bitch.” Hoody taunts Jax.
Jax raises his fist about to punch Hoody but then doesn’t because hes a loser. #bottom #cleanyohole
Ragatha is on the floor and slides her way to Caine. Seemingly she did this all the way over there. Shes glitching out like crazy.
“I am in so much PAAAAINNNN!!!” Ragatha says, glitching and stuttering.
“Oop!” Caine exclaims and snaps his fingers, fixing Pomni and Ragatha because Pomnis hand was also glitching out cause she touched Ragatha. just watch the episode dude. Ragatha stands up and stands next to Pomni, not looking at her, not happy. Pomni looks at the floor the opposite way. Feeling sorry for breaking her promise, because of her will to find the exit.
“I do have to apologize for lying about the exit. I knew how much all of you have been wanting there to be one, but, you know, I was having so much trouble figuring out what to put on the other side”Caine explains to everyone.
“Jeez what a cuck” Hoody thinks.
“and ended… up… never… quite…finishing… it. And you know how I never like letting people see my unfinished work. Especially if it leads you out into The Void. Anyway, it looks like you defeated the Gloink Queen, so I guess the adventure's over. Your reward is a delicious digital feast cooked by our head Bubble Chef.” Caine ushers them to a table with white cloth and seven chairs, each with different food on the plates.
“Made with all the love I'm legally allowed to give!” Bubble says happy at first but trails off autistically.
“Thank you.” Says Hoody.
“You know i am pretty hungry.” Jax said.
“You didn’t even do anything.” Gangle retorts.
“So what? I can still be hungry!” Jax says, annoyed.
“Well not really, 'cause we don't need to eat, drink or sleep in this digital world. So the digital food here only gives off the virtual sensation of eating without any of the nutritional benefits.” Kinger yaps and explains.
“Sheesh, lay off it. Since when are you an expert on the Digital World?” Jax said.
“Expert on the what?” Kinger forgets what they were talking about.
Pomni stares into space and has a main character moment. No one cares. like we get it, youre the focus. Ive been writing this shit for an entire day bro GOLLY. They all go sit at the fucking table and eat their fucking food.
***
The circus members get ready for bed. Since Pomni and Hoody’s rooms are next to each other, Hoody tries to reach out to Pomni out of concern for her.
“hey pomni are you ok?”
“I just.. have a lot to think about right now.”
Pomni looks down, sadly.
“Oh well uh, dont abstract… cause i kinda dont wanna run like that again.” Hoody jokes to bring some levity but hopes it doesn’t annoy her.
“Hahah, ill try not to.” Pomni awkwardly replies to the joke and smiles oddly. She tried to genuinely smile but shes awkward. She closes her door behind her and walks into her room. She takes a deep breath, trying to process it all.