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“Raps, don’t go too far. I won’t be able to protect you,” I call out to the blonde princess running ahead of me. She stops by a tree, looking out towards a creek. Her eyes are wide with wonder. Even though she is staring at a rather ugly mud bed, she appears fascinated with every little detail.
“Woah. You get to see this world every day, Cassandra? I don’t think this could ever be normal for me,” she mentions my name in the same way a stranger would when they are trying to get used to it. I struggle to keep a sigh down. Over the past week or so, I have been angry with her for not listening to me. Due to that negligence, my arm was injured. After messing around with an artifact that I shouldn’t have touched, I accidentally erased her memories. So, keeping my anger with her from before and my current annoyance at bay is difficult. It is like I am trying to teach everything all over to her. If this potion recipe is correct, then I should hopefully have her memories back soon.
That is if I can keep her nearby…
“Trust me. There are good and bad things about nearly every aspect of the world. For instance, that mud you see by the creek,” I gently pat her shoulder with a small smirk creeping onto my lips, “that isn’t mud.” I can’t resist letting out a small chuckle as Rapunzel turns her nose up at the thought. The disgusted frown on her face almost makes me forget about why I am angry with her.
“You’re a negative person, you know that?” she asks while following me. “I’ve only known you for a day, but you never seem to smile or have a happy thought. Why is that?” Despite my thoughts drifting to the true reason, I can’t bring myself to talk about it. It wouldn’t be fair to angrily yell at her again over a mistake she made that she can’t even remember.
“All I will say is that someone recently betrayed my trust. So, it is difficult to see many positives.” Even now, I can’t lie to her. But I can bend the truth.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Cassandra,” she sympathizes with a saddened expression. “Was this person a friend? If it helps, I think you are a very honest person that deserves good people to trust.” If only she knew how dishonest I am being right now. I wouldn’t say that Raps is a bad person, but it still angers me that she didn’t listen to me. Her best friend. Her…
“More like a love,” I whisper. A frown makes its way to my lips. My pace doesn’t slow down for a second. Although, saying those words makes my heart feel like a hundred stone bricks. Looking over to Rapunzel, I see that her expression has gotten worse.
“I have no idea what that kind of love is like. The only love I know is the kind I have for my mother. I know it hurts a lot when she leaves me for days at a time, so I can’t imagine how badly your heart must be broken.” She’s right. She has no idea. Not a single memory of us. Even if I hadn’t accidentally erased her memories, she wouldn’t know what it is like when someone you love more than anything doesn’t listen to you. The closest example would be her father, but I want to think I meant more than that kind of love.
Maybe that’s another thing I was wrong about…
“Your mother doesn’t sound very attentive,” I sigh with a shake of my head, feigning my anger towards her as irritation at the topic. With my hand tightly wrapped around the hilt of my sword, I trudge onward. Rapunzel follows after me, clearly unaware of what to do. If she stays by my side, this won’t last too long and we can get back to camp before nightfall.
“She just doesn’t like being cooped up for too long. She says she is better suited to handle the world than an ignorant flower like myself. But the world doesn’t seem too bad so far. I mean, I met you,” she states in a familiarly happy tone. I haven’t heard her like this in a while…
“Meeting me has been one of your highlights?” I nearly scoff, remembering how just days prior, she had refused to listen to me. Over and over on this journey, she has ignored my advice and brushed off my protection. If we were back in Corona, I may believe her, but now? How can I? She’s proven that my input is not welcome. I am just her lady-in-waiting.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” she asks as if I present a shocking idea. “You are an amazing person. You’re so strong and fast. Pretty. Caring as well. I mean, not everyone would try to befriend me. Most people would just want me for my hair.” Rapunzel quietly strokes her blonde braid, a saddened expression spread across her features. “But you seem to like me. At least, I hope so. It’s been really nice to explore the forest with you.” Clenching my fist, I stop in my tracks at her words.
“Rapunzel, I don’t just like you! I-” Turning to face her, my words get stuck in my throat as I see her shocked expression. Standing before me is a princess that is oblivious to how the world works and why I would be angry at her. She isn’t the reason my trust in her has essentially dissolved. Not this reflection of the past. The current princess is. Even with what she did, I still swore to protect her. So, it’s my duty to bring her back to her senses. “I care about you,” I whisper, patting her shoulder. It is more difficult than I thought to substitute a certain word with something like ‘care’.
“I care about you too, Cassandra~ Even if I have not known you for long, I can already tell we make a great team.” Giving me a quick hug, Rapunzel then leads the way forward with a big smile on her face. Taking a deep breath, I push one foot in front of the other. Despite the roaring flame of anger in my heart, I try my best to hold it back. Like it or not, I will get over this eventually. If she doesn’t trust my input anymore, then I will only offer my protection.
“Greater than you can imagine,” I sigh as a hundred memories fill my head. Memories where I felt more like her equal. Her friend. Her lover. But she’s made it clear that she doesn’t have that time for me anymore. Now, only one thing matters. The mission…
“Cass~ Won’t you keep up?” Rapunzel playfully teases me, skipping down the castle hallway. My feet walk at a normal pace despite feeling like I am in the clouds. A giggle escapes my lips as I follow after the short-haired brunette leading me to her room. Every candle is snuffed out by a single puff from Rapunzel’s lips. The nearly glowing night sky rushes in to fill the darkness. The reflections in her eyes look almost magical and a mysterious desire lies behind them.
“Will you please tell me what this surprise is about, Raps?” I ask with a smirk, making my way down the hall. Every time I get a little closer to her, she proceeds to skip faster, keeping the distance between us. On our way here, I noticed a suspicious lack of guards around the premises. Normally, alarms would be ringing in my head and I would have a few too many words to say to each missing guard, but something is telling me this is her doing. Her plan. The only concern left is whatever it is she has in store for me. However, that thought doesn’t stop me from following her into the night. Her eyes sparkle like a magical spell. One that lures my heart into a false sense of security.
“Just a minute more and you will know,” Raps giggles, walking backwards to keep her eyes on me. Only a couple seconds later, we finally make it to the doors of her bedroom. She opens the door for me, giving me a cute grin. “Ladies first?”
“Says the literal princess,” I tease her. My eyes roll with a soft chuckle, abiding by her request and walking into her room. Inside, the room is only illuminated by a few candles. Far from the chandelier that would usually be lit during the night. The fireplace is ablaze, but it does little more than provide a nice warmth to the interior. The walls are still dim enough to not wake anyone. That is if anyone was asleep in here. “Cozy,” I compliment the atmosphere. Rapunzel closes the door behind me, making sure to lock it. Raising my eyebrow, I can’t help but give her a curious stare. She never does that. I’m usually the one reinforcing her privacy. What could be so special that she remembered to keep everyone else out?
“I wanted it to be comfortable after all. This is one of the few times we can have to ourselves. My parents are visiting another kingdom and Eugene is fast asleep already. So, I wanted to make it special~” Rapunzel quietly takes my hands in hers, pulling me further into her room. She stands on her tiptoes from the excitement, making me chuckle.
“So, there isn’t a big surprise. You called me off of my duties just because you wanted to spend time with me?” I ask her skeptically. Of course, her lips pout as soon as the words leave my mouth.
“Is it so wrong that I like being near you?” she asks with puppy eyes. Pulling me closer to her, she holds me in a hug. A content sigh escapes her lips as if all the world’s problems disappear with that simple embrace. Her eyes gracefully trace my skin up to my face. She gives me a small smile and tightens her grip. “Cass. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for a moment with you?”
“A week,” I respond in kind, gently bringing her hand to my cheek. “You make it sound like I haven’t been waiting too.” Kissing her palm, my heart begins to beat faster. The last few days have been difficult for me. I was given a hundred duties to perform while the King and the Queen were away. If it wasn’t for my dedication and speed, I am not sure we would even have this moment together. Raps also had a lot on her plate, but she made it clear that nothing would stop us from spending a little time together tonight.
“Well, you certainly don’t act like you miss me,” she taunts me with a wink, making both of us giggle.
“Raps, maybe you don’t remember, but I can’t exactly be obvious about it. Or else I might be sent to a convent by your father.” Rapunzel simply shakes her head to my answer.
“I would never let that happen. You should know that by now~” Before I can do anything, Rapunzel finally closes the distance between us, pressing her lips against mine. It almost feels like my heart stops. I can hardly feel the ground underneath my boots. In a mere second, I am reminded of why I worked so hard this week. Just for another moment with her. One where we can be alone and nothing else matters. It’s stupid how easy she can make my spine turn to jam. “I love you, Cass,” she whispers as soon as she breaks the kiss. Her hands slowly explore the rim of my tunic, pulling it up slowly. I could stop her at any moment, but I choose not to. I quietly help her remove my top. Taking off my gloves, I can’t stop myself from bringing my hands to her face. It isn’t long before I kiss her once more. In response, those same butterflies make my body feel light.
“I love you more, Raps,” I reply between kisses. I can’t help but pull my stomach in a little when I feel Rapunzel’s cool fingers touch me. “Ah,” I quietly sigh into her ear, not expecting the cold sensation. She giggles at my discomfort. In a way, it almost makes me want to pull away and taunt her for that. But I can’t do something like that. Not now.
“I love you most,” she teases me. For a few seconds, she takes her hands off me to adjust her dress. Turning her back to me, her emerald eyes look at me playfully. “Mind helping me with this?” I don’t hesitate to help her slip off her gown. Her skin almost glows from the orange light of the fireplace. Her freckles spread across her shoulders just like her cheeks. Finally, Raps turns her body towards me. The blue light of the night outside mixes with the fire’s illumination, making Rapunzel look like a gorgeous painting. Seeing her like this makes me realize how often I take my sight for granted. I gently bring my hand up, dragging the back of my fingers along the side of her neck. “E-ehh,” she lets out a half giggle and tilts her head to the side as if she is running from an uncomfortable sensation.
“Sorry. Did I tickle you?” I ask her quietly. I try to pull my hand back, but she stops me from doing so.
“A little. I was more so not used to it.” Her quirky smile makes both of us share a laugh, ending with our foreheads touching. Her breath graces my lips. Moments like these remind me why it is so hard for me to hide my love for her. I know it takes a toll on her too. Maybe someday, when I am not her lady-in-waiting, we can be more confident. Or when she’s queen. But for now, I can take solace in the cute reactions she has to my touch. “Come on. We still have a long night ahead~” Pulling me towards her bed, she plants a dozen small kisses along my arm, making it nearly impossible to avoid blushing. As sacred as these moments are, I can’t stop myself from wondering how long they will last. Will this lovely connection end sometime in the next month?
Or will we get to the point where we are used to each other’s touch?
“I don’t know how to describe it, but the stars look so much prettier from out here. I would always stare at them from my tower window, but seeing the whole night sky now? Wow… It’s breathtaking.” Rapunzel looks up at the hundreds of stars above us in awestruck amazement. I gently stir the pot of ingredients, trying my best to ignore each “new” phenomenon she comes across. In just a few short hours, she will remember that she’s experienced this all before. And then we can get back to the mission. And I won’t have to talk about my feelings with her. At least, I hope she can let it go.
“The stars are almost as pretty as a soul,” I parrot words she had said to me a year ago. I remember she was painting that night. She wanted to explain how extraordinary the sky can be. I remember she had also said that if the stars are this amazing-
“Then your soul must be more beautiful than a hundred stars,” Rapunzel states quietly as if it is a mere fact. Turning my eyes to her, she looks back at me with an innocent smile. “You’re really wise to say that.” Quickly averting my gaze, I let out a frustrated sigh. Gazes like those almost make me forget why we’re in this situation in the first place. They almost make it seem like child’s play how she refused to trust me…
“I didn’t come up with it. It was from someone I consider my best friend.” And I thought she still cared for me like that too. Gently tending to the fire, I can feel a pressure on the side of my armor. Sitting next to me, Raps looks towards the sky with a smile. After a moment, her head begins to rest on my shoulder, making my heart hurt a little more.
“Anyone would be lucky to have you as their best friend.” Her tone almost feels envious. The words themselves are as kind as a flower, but her voice feels heavy. If only she knew the person she is jealous of is herself… But then again, she was the one to put us in this predicament. I may have been the one that accidentally wiped her memories, but her choices led to this moment and the emotions associated with it. “Are you okay, Cassandra?” Her hand gently touches mine.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?” I cut straight to the point. I’m not sure how many words I can handle right now. A lot of different feelings are conflicting with each other inside me. Looking at her, it feels like I am stuck in the ground with nowhere to go. I love her, but… does she really expect me to just immediately forget how she pushed me aside? I’m supposed to be someone she trusts. But she has ignored my advice countless times since we embarked on this journey. All the while, reminding me of the distance between a princess and her lady-in-waiting.
“Your breathing. It’s shallow. And every time you speak, it feels like there’s something on your mind.” Raising her head from my shoulder, Rapunzel looks me in the eyes. For the first time in a while, there’s compassion and understanding in her gaze. It almost makes me believe that she wants to listen to me. And… for some reason, it doesn’t seem so difficult to say what I am thinking of. “Do you want to talk about it? I won’t force you to if you don’t want to.” Looking down, my eyes fixate on her hands interlocked with mine. If she had her memories back at this moment, would she still be so understanding? Or would she defend her point? It doesn’t quite matter what happened anymore. The thing that still sticks with me is whether she trusts me or not.
“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it.” My eyes turn towards the fire, feeling my heart get heavier. The embers illuminate the nearby area and bathe everything in a solemn orange glow. The way she holds my hand reminds me how we used to act around one another. How I was more than a servant to her. How we would run around the kingdom, looking for any opportunity to be alone. Now I’m afraid she will just use her royal position again to make me fall in line.
“I may not understand everything,” Rapunzel whispers. Her hand gently guides my face upward, connecting our gaze once more. “But I can promise you that I will listen. And I won’t judge. Sometimes, it can help to just say something. Even if there is no reply.” Her lips form a small smile filled with hope and worry. My heart starts to beat louder under her attentive gaze. Why does she have to treat me like this? With so much care that it erases some of our recent fights? How can she dismantle me so carefully that I barely notice when it’s happened?
“I’m not good at explaining my feelings, Rapunzel,” I hesitantly whisper. Both anger and sadness fill my soul and I’m not sure which is which. Letting out a small sigh, I can’t help but force my eyes closed. It’s a desperate attempt to hold back tears, but I’m pretty sure a couple make their way down my face anyway. “Why can’t you trust me, Raps?” I slowly ask, envisioning her face from just a day prior. “Ever since we’ve started this journey, I’ve felt like I’m forced to watch from behind the fence. I thought… I thought that you would trust me enough to take my advice to heart. When it comes to push or shove, I thought your love for me would prevail. I don’t even know where that is anymore.” Slowly, I open my eyes. Rapunzel clearly looks confused, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she simply nods her head, trying to understand where I am coming from. Her hands never leave mine. Not even for a second.
“I’m guessing that I’m… that best friend you’ve talked about?” Even though she doesn’t know how, she seems to accept that fact for the moment. Surprisingly, she wraps her arms around me, making a flood of emotions surge through me. “And I’m also assuming that this is supposed to help me remember?” she refers to the slow-cooking cure. While I had told her it was just a normal meal, she has connected the dots faster than I could have expected. Taking a deep breath, I nod to her question. I would be lying if I said I didn’t find it hard to be in this embrace right now. “I think I did something to hurt you recently. You’re angry, right?”
“You have no idea,” I state in a solemn sigh. I gently pull my arms around her, hugging her tightly. It’s like I’m trying to hold on to a memory that isn’t there. Half of my mind wants to push her away, but the other half is just glad I get to talk with her like this again.
“That’s okay. I may not know right now what I did, but I’m sorry, Cass. I really am. I can only remember one day with you, but that already feels like a lifetime. And I don’t want to hurt you.” Raps holds me a little tighter like she is trying to say she won’t let me go. At least, not again. “I do love you, Cass. And I trust you. I feel like I can trust you with my life. I’m sorry I made you feel any other way.” Pulling away from the hug, Rapunzel’s eyes stare into my own. Her emerald gaze stands out more than anything else in the fire’s light. Almost like a mystical lagoon, they shimmer with love and adoration.
In a moment, I instinctively take off my glove. The back of my fingers gently run across the length of her neck. She doesn’t react at all, keeping that loving smile on her face. It was only recently that she could withstand this without giggling or being caught off guard. Her gaze clearly tells me she still doesn’t remember a thing, but her body… It doesn’t react to me like I’m some new sensation. Deep down, a part of her remembers. Remembers me and the nights we have shared. The moments where we would whisper forbidden things to one another. For some reason, my heart starts to calm down. If a part of her still remembers, then maybe she does still feel this way. Even before I wiped her memories.
“How can I be sure that things will be okay once you remember?” I ask her quietly. Her hand cups my cheek just like how she’s always done and I lean into it in response. Even now, some part of her mind knows just how to comfort me. Maybe that’s why she was so quick to trust me. She knows me.
“You can’t. But I know one thing from tonight. We must love each other a lot if I affected you in such a way.” Rapunzel lets out a small laugh, finally getting me to crack a smile. When there isn’t so much talk about destiny and what lies at the end of this journey, it feels so much better to spend time with her. “May I kiss you…?” she asks me quietly. “Something in me just says that is the right thing to do at this moment. But if you don’t want to-”
Pulling her in, I can’t stop myself from pressing my lips against hers. After so much fighting and tension, kissing her again feels like a brief moment in heaven. Before long, she returns the kiss with just as much passion. Despite the heavy armor weighing down my shoulders, it suddenly feels like I am weightless. This love I have in my heart… It’s not meant for a princess. It’s for a woman that continuously makes me smile. All I can hope is that things will be better in the morning. Maybe… Maybe we can move past some of this anger.
“I love you, Raps,” I declare before another kiss. My arms pull her close, refusing to let her go.
“I love you more,” she teases me with a giggle, kissing my cheek. Resting her head on my chest, both of us smile like a couple of loons. Bringing my hand to her hair, I gently stroke her golden strands. A small sigh escapes her lips as a breeze brushes against us.
“I love you most~” Rocking us back and forth, I don’t want to let go of this moment. I don’t want to see the sun come up. But with the way she is holding onto me, a part of me believes it will all be better in the morning. Even if we have a journey to continue, something tells me we will both try a little harder from now on.
For each other.