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I shake my head in an attempt to regain focus and I suppress a shiver. The planet Iloh is cold, but I knew that already. What I wasn’t expecting is laying on the thick layer of snow, holding position on a ridge, trying to fend off droids.
"Dogma. Got any droids poppers?" Tup asks me, and I nod, too busy shooting to look at him. "Yeah. In my backpack. Can you reach them?" I confirm, jerking my body a little so he has a better access to them. I feel Tup retrieving one, and next second it flies in a wide arch through the air, taking out couple of droids as it releases the charge.
It going rather well, besides me and Tup there are ten more clones, which should be enough against the droids that advance on us.
Suddenly, Tup’s vambrace comm beeps.
"Tup, we need your assistance if you can spare it." Kix calls out. I look at Tup, despite both of us having helmets on, I know his expression. I quickly squeeze his hand.
"Go. We’ll handle this." I say, and briefly watch Tup running back to our camp, before going back to battle. There are just a few droids left, soon it’ll be over and our order to keep the ridge will be completed.
Suddenly, however, the clanking sound intensified, one of the clones falls down, blaster bolt making a smoking hole in his helmet. I yelp, the sudden appearance of more droids took all of us off guard, judging by startled sounds my brothers make. I snatch my comm, attempting to call for backup.
"Command Center, this is Dogma. Does anyone copy? We’re pinned down by droids’ reinforcements and in need for backup. Is anyone there?" I yell into the comm, but the only answer I get is a static buzzing. We’re on our own.
"There are too many of them! We have to fall back!" Someone yells. I turn around to remind him of our orders, but before I manage to say anything, I feel burning pain in the left side of my head and I collapse to the snow, everything going dark.
*****
When I open my eyes, I’m missing my helmet. I lay on my back, staring at the sky. My head hurts, I’m dizzy and nauseous. I shiver, the cold is unbearable now. I don’t think I’ll make it, no one knows that I’m still alive. That is, if they are still alive.
I know that the chances that someone will hear me are slim, but I try either way. Pushing through the pain, freezing cold and nausea, I gather all my strengths.
"Tup! Tup, help me! Gedet’ye, Tup!" I call out, though it sounds more like a terrified mumbling, lost in the cold, unforgiving snow. I drift away again, terrified that I won’t wake up again, clinging to consciousness, but it still fades, pulling me to soothing darkness once more.
*****
"Dogma! Dogma, wake up! Come on, Dogma!" I hear the panicked voice, coming from somewhere far. Whoever this is, he’s shaking me and I want to tell him to stop, to let me go back to sleep. I open my eyes, it’s Hardcase who’s above me, cradling me in his arms.
"You’re going to be okay, vod’ika. You’re going to be okay. I’m taking you to Kix, just hang on, Dogma. Please. You’ve got to hang on, okay?" Hardcase keeps saying and I frown. I must be seriously injured if he sounds so panicked. That, or…
"Tup…" I mumble, and yelp in pain when Hardcase hoists me up, resting on his shoulder. "Tup’s okay, vod’ika. Now, you must hold on, Kix’s going to…" I don’t listen to him anymore. Tup’s alive. That’s all that matters. My vision blurs, and I let myself fade again, away from cold and pain. Hardcase’s panicked voice follows me into the dark.
*****
My eyes slowly flutter open, and I immediately close them again, blinded by the medical bay’s lights. "Dogma!" I hear a hopeful voice, very close to me. I open my eyes again, blinking to adjust to the brightness. "Tup…" I whisper, hissing in pain, as it spikes through my head. "Hey, vod’ika. Take it easy, okay?" A new voice says and I raise my eyes at the newcomer. Kix. Of course it’s Kix.
"What have you gotten yourself into this time, Tup?" I mumble sleepily wanting nothing more but to rest. At least, the nausea passed and I’m not shivering anymore, though it’s probably due to the medications that Kix gave me and a blanket covering my body all the way up to the rib cage. Oh, and Tup, who’s curled up on my bed, partially on top of me, with his head resting on my collarbone.
Normally, I wouldn’t like such close contact, but it’s Tup.
"What Tup gotten himself into? He’s unscathed and battle ready. What you gotten yourself into? You were shot in the head and had a mild hypothermia. And when Hardcase found you, you were already dying, we barely saved you, Dogma!" Kix raises his voice at the end, furiously waving his hands.
Oh. Shot in the head. That would explain…a lot, actually.
"So, vod’ika, I’m not letting you out of here until you can stay awake for longer than few hours and be fully conscious. And even then, you are forbidden from leaving the ship, I clear?" Kix says in much calmer voice. I want to nod, but stop myself mid-movement, it’s probably a bad idea. "Yeah. I understand." I say weakly, squeezing Tup’s hand. Kix nods with a smile and turns to leave.
"You’re literally the only vod who doesn’t try to run away from here." He says humorously, and Tup snorts at that. I manage a weak smile too, before I notice a sad look in Tup’s eyes.
"What is it, Tup’ika?" I ask softly, trying not to aggravate my injury. "It’s…it’s my fault. I left you, and couldn’t help you when you needed it!" He says grimly.
"Tup. It is not your fault. I’m fine." I say reassuringly, but Tup sighs. "There’s…there’s something else. Since I’m fully operational, I-I’ll have to go back out there." He whispers. I sigh. "You’ll be okay and back in no time, Tup’ika, I’m certain of it. And I? Kix is here, after all. I’ll be fine." I say with a sly smile that Tup returns, getting up.
"Ret'urcye mhi, Dogm’ika." He says from the doorway. "Ret'urcye mhi, Tup’ika." I return the goodbye with a sigh, closing my eyes and sinking into my pillow.
*****
"Dogma, I’ll need to change your wound’s dressing, okay?" Kix says, gently removing the bandage. I flinch a little at the touch, but otherwise remain still. I only yelp when Kix’s fingers brush against the wound on my left temple, his soft, gentle fingers sending a sharp pain through my head.
"Ni ceta, vod’ika. I’ll make it quick, okay? It’ll hurt only for a minute. Just tell me when you’re ready." Kix soothes me and I whimper a confirmation. "Y-yes. I’m ready." I say and my voice shakes only a little. "I had to shave some of your hair, but I think you might like it the way it is." He says apologetically. As gently as he can, Kix removes the bacta patch and I have to bite back a scream. Other wounded feel worse and have to rest, so I can’t disturb them in their recovery. Kix puts on a new patch, and I wince again when I feel the familiar stinging sensation of bacta.
I don’t even notice when Kix wraps new bandage around the patch to keep it in place better, distracted by a group of wounded clones being wheeled into the medbay. They are already stripped down to their blacks, so I prop myself higher, frantically searching for Tup’s bun, and to my relief, he’s not there. Maybe, it’s because he’s already dead… I try not to listen to those thoughts, it’ll only make things worse.
As Kix leaves to help one of the vod’e in the far corner of the room, I turn to the one on my left, since he’s the closet one that’s conscious and freshly from battlefield, so he might know something.
"Excuse me, brother, do you know anything about Tup, CT-5385?" I rasp out, trying prepare myself for the worst. The clone’s attention fixes on me.
"Not that I can recall. How does he look like?" The trooper asks, furrowing his brows. "His armour is nearly unpainted, he-he has a teardrop on his helmet and long hair, tied in a tight bun on top of his head…" I reply quietly. The clone sighs. "No, I didn’t see him." The clone says sadly. "What happened to you, anyway? That wound looks awful." The clone says and I wince. Many thoughts go through my head, that I failed, got all clones with me killed, but I say nothing about. "Got shot." I say simply, shrugging a little, I don’t want to talk about it. He didn’t see Tup.
Something must have happened, Tup might need help and I can’t get to him, can’t provide him with help! I turn with my back to the clone, silent sobs shaking my whole body. "T-Tup…" I whisper brokenly, feeling hot tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Tup’ika…please, be okay…" I choke out quietly, I don’t want anyone to hear me, but fortunately, every clone seems to be asleep and Kix is going through some supplies, so I doubt he pays attention. My breathing hitches when I think about Tup, about the possibility that he has marched on, that he’s with…them now. Puncher, Cabur, CT-6834…and Tup.
*****
I don’t know when I’ve fallen asleep, but when I open my eyes again, the medbay is empty. Probably all medics are close, but not inside the room. Well, after a second sweep, i notice that it’s not, in fact, empty. There’s one more vod that’s awake, and he’s sitting by my bed. Surely to tell me about Tup…
"Dogma? Hey, vod’ika, it’s okay. I’m here." He says and I blink away tears I don’t remember shedding. The clone outstretches his hand to wipe them away, his soft hand brushes against my cheek. "T-Tup? You’re…you’re okay?" I whisper and see him nod.
"Yes, Dogm’ika. I’m fine, just a few bruises." Tup shrugs, and I smile. "It is you who has a lot of healing to do, but Kix already told me that you’ll recover, and in three weeks he’ll allow you do go back into field." Tup rambles for a bit, clearly overjoyed to see me awake. I’m happy to see him too, relieved that he made it out when I wasn’t there.
"Hey, Tup! Wanna come for a late card-game?" We both hear the call from the door, and I flinch, not having expected it. It’s Jesse, leaning against the doorframe, waving his hand. When Tup doesn’t answer him, he starts to walk towards us. "So, Tup, are you coming?" He repeats, his eyes wash over me like I’m not even here. Tup blinks couple of times.
"No, I’m staying with Dogma." He replies, and Jesse snorts. "He’s asleep, he won’t even notice you’re gone. C’mon, Tup’ika. It’ll be fun." The older clone continues, and I feel a temptation to open my eyes and tell him that I am, in fact, awake, and can hear every words he says.
"Why do you care for him so much? I get he’s your last batchmate, but some of vod’e are way cooler and less strict than he is." Jesse says. I crack one of my eyelids open and see Tup’s eyes harden.
"He’s my twin. And I will stay with him." Tup spits out. "Besides, Dogma is awake, Jesse." He continues, and gently worms himself into my side, curling up against me, and proceeding to ignore Jesse, who sighs.
"Alright, fine. I’m sorry, but we just missed your company, that’s all." He says and turns to leave. I feel warmth spreading through my chest, and its source is breathing softly into my arm.
"Tup…thank you for staying with me." I say.
"Anytime, vod’ika. Anytime."