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Strawberry "Saltcake"

Summary:

It's Childe's Birthday and Lumine is making him a cake. There's no way she can screw this up...right?

Chilumi week 2026

Day 1: Birthday

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Paimon stared in horror as she watched fat globs of batter drip down from the ceiling and splash on everything in sight.

It had only been about two hours since she left the traveler alone inside the kitchen. At that time, Paimon had expected to be called back in with the sweet scent of freshly baked cake. Her mouth practically watered with the mere thought of it.

Now, as she surveyed the disaster zone—the kitchen had been covered in layers of flour and splashed with liquid at various spots—Paimon could only think of one thing.

“Did a tornado go through here!?”

Oh, If only that were true, Lumine thought to herself, then at least her suffering would've made a bit more sense. She had been up since last night, finalizing her battle plan for this big day. The supplies had been ordered, the ingredients had been picked, the invitations had been sent out. Hell, even Paimon was nice enough to help decorate the mansion.

All this work for this particular day, because today was Childe's birthday and everything had to be perfect, absolutely perfect (at least to Lumine it had to.)

“I'm losing my mind, Paimon!” Lumine said as she used the back of her hand to wipe a strand of flour-coated hair away from her face. She then gripped her whisk and aggressively beat her newest iteration of cake batter, “this is like the fifth time I've tried baking this cake, and if it doesn't come out this time I'm going to throw myself into the ocean and hope the waves put an end to me.”

Lumine couldn't understand why her cake wasn't coming together. She had practiced making strawberry shortcake in secret weeks before and in those times everything was routine. Why was it now on this day that her skills seemed to fail her?

“You're being dramatic,” Paimon said, “your cakes always come out good.”

“But I don't want it to be just good,” Lumine cried out as she poured her concoction in a cake pan, “I want it to be perfect! This is Childe's birthday cake and his siblings are coming and his parents and—oh Archons! His parents! What if they—”

“Lumine!” Paimon screamed, “stop it! You're stressing Paimon out! The cake will be fine, you will be fine.”

“But—”

“The cake will be fine!” Paimon repeated, her tiny hands squishing Lumine's cheeks together as hard as she could, “now, repeat after Paimon: Lumine makes good food.”

Lumine took in a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves, “Lumine makes…good food,” she repeated.

“Lumine makes good cake,” Paimon then said.

“Lumine makes good cake.”

“Lumine can do anything.”

Lumine's face then twisted into a pained expression, “Lumine can…do anything?”

“Say it louder!” Paimon ordered.

“Lumine can do anything!” Lumine shouted.

“And what is Lumine doing?” Paimon asked.

“Lumine is making cake!” The blonde cried out, her fist pumping the air in triumph, “you're right Paimon, I was being ridiculous, but now with you here we can get this done together.”

“Eh…actually, Paimon still has some balloons to put up,” the fairy said as she slowly backed away towards the door, “but Paimon has full confidence in you! Bye!”

Lumine huffed and crossed her arms, all that pep talk just to leave when the actual work had to be done. Typical. She turned around to look back at her battle station; okay she could do this, Lumine thought to herself, she will make the best cake ever!

Lumine brushed her dirtied hair away from her face, washed her hands, got new bowls, reset her ingredients, reread the recipe, and got to work. The clattering of measuring cups being tossed about and jar tops being set aside filled the kitchen space. Lumine had no other objective than to focus entirely on the bowl before her. Practiced hands went to ingredients without even giving them a second glance and once they made it into the bowl, she began to whisk. 

Aggressive was her approach as she beat those meddlesome ingredients into submission. Once she was satisfied with the condition of her batter, Lumine brought out her bake pans and poured the concoction in them. Oh, how the wait was agonizing. Lumine watched helplessly as the cake batter began to rise. It was cooking fine now, but any little mishap could happen in the process. She prayed to all the archons she could think of at that moment that this next attempt would succeed. Lumine turned her sights to the clock on the wall; enough time had passed, good, the cake should be ready.

Carefully, Lumine brought out the pan and placed it on the counter. Perfect. Now, it needed just a few minutes to cool and it would be good enough for removal; just enough time to cut the strawberries. 

With the precision of a veteran chef, Lumine cut the fruit into perfect, thin slices and set them aside. She then removed her cake from its pan and placed it on a cooling rack to finish getting ready. Quickly she whipped up her whipped cream and by the time she had placed some of it in piping bags, the cake was ready for decorating.

The process went smoothly, the filling sandwiched well between the halves of the cake and the initial coat of whipped cream gave no fuss. Lumine breathed out a sigh of relief as she finished piping the edges of the cake. It was finally coming together, it was finally—

 

“Hello?”

 

“Ah! He's here!” Lumine cried out as she quickly finished piping and placed the rest of the strawberries on top of the cake. Satisfied with her work, Lumine picked up the cake platter and hurried herself out of the kitchen. The moment had finally come.

 


 

“Why won't you let me into my own house, Paimon?” Childe said as he tried to make his way through the door.

“Why do you need to come inside?” Paimon replied as she blocked his way.

“What do you mean “why?” Childe snapped, “It's my house, I live here!”

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“Happy Birthday, Ajax!”

 

Paimon and Childe stopped their arguing and turned their attention to the one who spoke. There, standing in the foyer and not having a speck of flour or batter or any other mess clinging onto her, was Lumine and in her hands, looking picture-perfect, was the cake.

“Wow!” Paimon cried out as she flew over to Lumine's side, “how did you clean up so quickly?”

“Never ask a lady about her secrets,” Lumine responded through her teeth.

Childe quietly stepped into the home and looked around the room. His eyes grew wide as he took in the colorful transformation of the space.

“You decorated the whole foyer?”

“And the dining room, and the living room, and your bedroom,” Paimon listed off, “oh, don't go into the kitchen, it's decorated, but not intentionally.”

Childe gave the space one more look around, “you guys didn't have to go through all of the trouble.” 

“No, we had to, or at least I had to,” Lumine began to explain, “It's your first birthday since we got together, I just wanted it to be extra special.”

Childe's smile widened, “you being here in my home is already special,” he then looked down at the cake Lumine carried in her hands, “is that for me?”

“You want to try it?” Lumine said.

Childe blushed slightly at the suggestion, he ran a hand through his messy hair in a poor attempt to play it off, “can I?” he said, “it would be rude to eat some before dinner, no?”

“I'll just cover it with some whipped cream and make sure to give you that part once I actually slice it,” Lumine said as she produced a fork, “try it!”

“Well don't mind if I do!” Childe said as he enthusiastically took up the fork. He then used it to pierce through the whipped cream, carving out a bit of the cake, and put the morsel in his mouth.

That first bite hit him harder than Her Majesty's train. He looked down at the cake and then looked at the fork in his hand. There had to be a mistake! Some trick with the utensil itself! His gaze flickered back to the cake. What his eyes saw was a sweet cake but what his mouth tasted was a different thing altogether.

 

Sweet Tsaritsa, she mistook the salt for sugar!

 

“How is it?” Lumine asked.

“It's incredible!” Childe quickly lied, “it might…be the best cake I've ever had!”

“Really?” The fairy piped up from behind him, tiny fork already in hand, “let Paimon try!”

“No, no, you can't have any!” Childe said as he suddenly pulled the cake away from Lumine and to himself, “I'm greedy. My Lumine has made me the best cake and I'm going to eat every inch of it.”

Paimon placed her hands on her hips and huffed, “all by yourself?”

Childe looked down at the cake. Deceivingly innocent bread thing, how could it look so good and be so bad? He turned his attention back to Lumine who watched him with curiosity and hope. Childe knew he was going to regret the next few words that came out of his mouth. He swallowed hard, gripped the sides of the cake platter even tighter, and gave his biggest smile, “all by myself.”

“Aw! Meanie!” Paimon said with a pout, “wait! What is everybody else going to eat?” She then turned to Lumine, “do you think we still have time to make another one?”

“Hm, Childe's family comes in about an hour,” Lumine said thoughtfully, “maybe if I use the elements I could speed it up and have another one done!”

“Oh, that's a great idea!” Paimon said, “you'll have another perfect cake in no time!”

“Can I supervise?” Childe cut in.

Lumine raised an eyebrow and looked at Childe confusedly, “don't you want to stay here and finish eating the cake?” She said.

“Oh I can eat and help out, I'm very good at multitasking,” Childe replied as he then took another forkful of salty cake shoved it into his mouth and down his throat, “besides,” he began to say as he made through the ordeal, “I want to see how my girlie made this awesome cake.”

“And make sure you don't mix up the sugar again…” he then muttered under his breath, the salt from that last bite finally hitting his tastebuds and he shuddered.

Lumine hummed and stared suspiciously at Childe. The harbinger let out a small breath and hoped his face hadn't betrayed him and showed off his actual feelings. After a few tense moments, Lumine smiled large and her eyes lit up so bright that Childe momentarily forgot his predicament and knew he made the right decision in lying. Hell, he decided then and there he would keep the secret to his grave. Because to him, he treasured her happiness more than the eventual headache he would have after eating so much salt. Besides, it was his birthday, and what better wish could he get on this day than to see his girlfriend smile at him as brightly as the stars from which she came from.

Notes:

First time participating in Chilumi week! Let's see if I survive.

Edit* I put in the wrong publishing date lmao nooo I'm already fucking up (;゚∇゚)

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