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It had been over a year by now. Over a year since they first met online. Over a year since meeting in person for the first time. Over a year since their first date in Minecraft. Almost a year since their first date in person and then their first date off stream.
And despite that full year of dating, of e-dates and travelling whenever their busy schedules allowed (and sometimes even if they didn’t), Pangi still wasn’t sure where he stood with Lukey.
Sure, Lukey was his best friend. He was the guy Pangi turned to when he needed to vent, needed advice, needed a listening ear. He was the first person Pangi wanted to tell news, good or bad. He was the one Pangi could rely on, always.
But after a full year of dating, it felt like their relationship was stagnating. After all, who even dated for a full year without making it official?
Some people might have said Lukey was stringing him along. Pangi didn’t think that was the case. Lukey was the most thoughtful and caring person Pangi knew, he would never purposefully hurt someone he cared about.
Besides, it wasn’t like Pangi himself had broached the subject, so it would feel hypocritical to blame Lukey for doing the same. But today Pangi was planning to change that.
It was already quite late in the evening after another long, exhausting day at twitchcon. Still, Jacob was going out with some of his friends, which led to Lukey inviting Pangi up to his room. A rare moment to themselves, no friends or fans to distract them. The perfect opportunity for this long overdue talk.
Pangi found himself on top of the bed, head resting on the pillow, face to face with Lukey. Soft music was playing in the background, setting a relaxing atmosphere. Pangi could have fallen asleep on the spot, if it wasn’t for the nerves and anticipation keeping him wide awake. Lukey seemed to be in a similar spot, his exhaustion obvious in the deep rings under his eyes.
“Could I talk to you about something a bit more serious?”, Pangi started the conversation hesitantly. For good measure, he tacked on some reassurance. “It’s fine if you’re too tired, we can do it some other time. It’s nothing bad or urgent.”
“Nah, I’m awake now.” Lukey propped his head up on his hand. “What’s up, dude?”
“What are we?”
The fateful question hung in silence for a moment. Lukey’s brows furrowed as he contemplated how to answer. “We’re just us. Sem and Lucas. Pangi and Lukey. Pangkey, if you will.”
“That’s not what I mean”, Pangi protested. “We’ve been dating for a year. Am I your boyfriend or what?”
Lukey sighed as if this entire conversation was a huge burden on him. “Does it matter?”
“It matters to me”, Pangi returned defensively.
“Fine. Let’s talk about it. What brought this on for you?”
At least he was open to having the conversation. Pangi would take this small victory. “It’s just… I’ve been telling my friends I’ve been talking to someone, been dating someone for a year. And they’ve started asking questions and I’ve started wondering myself. Why haven’t we made it official yet?”
“Because it genuinely doesn’t matter to me. I’ve never been good at putting a label on things, wether it’s a best friend, a relationship or myself. I am who I am, I date who I date and everything else is background noise. I don’t care what the others say. All that matters in this relationship is what you and I want”, Lukey explained. “So what do you want, Sem?”
“I want to call you my boyfriend. I want to shout it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. I want them to know you’re mine and I’m yours.”
“Then let’s do it”, Lukey agreed easily. “It’s an honour to call you my boyfriend.”
“Just like that?”, Pangi checked, surprised. He had expected much more of a discussion, if not a fight.
“Just like that”, Lukey confirmed. “Pangi, the reason why we didn’t do this earlier isn’t because I didn’t want to. It just never occurred to me that it might be something you would want. My answer would have been the same half a year ago, 9 months ago, even a year ago. If something this simple will give you the reassurance you need, of course I’ll provide.”
“I love you”, Pangi sighed, relief flooding his veins.
“I love you too”, Lukey smiled back. “I’d do a lot more than that for you, you know that, right?”
“I know”, Pangi mumbled, his eyelids growing heavy now that the tension was falling off of him. “Can you text Jacob that I’m staying the night? I’m so tired.”
“You’re so needy”, Lukey complained, but his wide smile gave away that he didn’t really mean it. “Jacob is never gonna let me hear the end of it.”
“But you said you would”, Pangi pointed out helpfully. “Did you not mean that?”
“No, no, I will”, Lukey grinned. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, baby.”
“Okay. Yay”, Pangi yawned, joining Lukey’s laughter with a sleepy chuckle.
Vaguely, Pangi registered the soft press of Lukey’s lips against his forehead. “It’s been a long day. Get some rest and I’ll be here when you wake up. Good night. Boyfriend.”
Pangi slurred back what could be vaguely interpreted as the same words before drifting off. He couldn’t wait to wake up next to his boyfriend in the morning.