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Jax is trying new things after coming to terms with who she is. Forced to face questions she locked away years ago, she's only taking on the minor ones for now. Ones like what to wear now? What about makeup? If she's going to be stuck in this colorful hellhole, the least Caine can do is give her the ability to accessorize to look cute. She wants to feel cute right now; not have an existential crisis over if using Jax or Jessica was living her authentic self.
Twirling around in front of the mirror Jax kept looking at the dress she was in. It was gorgeous but something about it felt off. Couldn't have been the color, it was a amazing shade of pink with white frill trimming accents. Not the fabric as this was the softest thing she felt, well, closest one could get in a digital body. Maybe the dress wasn't the issue here..
Maybe she just didn't have an eye for fashion Jax wondered. No way in hell she was going to ask Ribbit. As much as she adored her girlfriend, Ribbit was more of a pants with suspenders and a bowtie girl than this. That look worked better on her sweet lily pad than herself. Who else was she supposed to turn too? "Ugh! This is stupid!" she grumbled to noone like a mad woman. Nothing today felt right, no amount of clothing looked how she imagined it in her head.
Dramatically plopping on the bed, she stared herself down in the mirror. A thought wiggled its way into her mind, Zooble hard different parts. Maybe they could tell her how they got that from Caine. Shaking her head, she lurched at the intrusive thought. No way in hell. Zooble didn't need to know about this part of her yet. They'd never let it down ever. Especially the name she's been pondering over for months now.
Lost in thought Jax didn't realize her door was being opened until it was too late. Eyes widened Jax and she scrambled to grab the blanket. "I, um-!" Panic set in quicker than she was used to. A lump forming in her throat before she could make up any excuse. Clutching the blanket, she wondered if she just lost one of her closest friends on accident.
Merely keeping in place, Kaufmo covered his eyes and began to close the door. "Aw, sorry. Didn't realize you were changing. Let me know when it's cool to come in." Without another word the door was closed. On the bed Jax was left dumbfounded by that. Were all clowns the most relaxed people or did Kaufmo keep a stash of stupid sauce? Not like she'd blame him for getting high to deal with rainbow nightmare land.
Either way, she timidly uncovered and headed to the door. Opening it she was greeted to Kaufmo giving a tepid attempt entertain himself with humming and other goofy mouth sounds. Her snort alerted the clown of her presence, making him turn around. "Oh Jax I was wondering if-" Noticing the pink dress still on his bunny friend, the clown's smile widened. "Do you or do you not feel pretty?"
Jax's snort turned into a full chortle. "I- Kind of? I don't know?" She rubbed her gloved hands down her face with a half laugh half sigh. "I have no idea what I'm doing here, man! I'm wearing yellow farmers gloves with a pink silk dress for [^*$@]ing crying out loud." She threw up her hands to air as she talked. Part of her felt ridiculous for not knowing how to dress herself but felt relieved she was viewed as pretty.
"You want to me to bring you some old clothes of mine? I used to do skits to pass the time. Caine gave me clothes to get into character. And to relive the life I had before the circus. Heh." Kaufmo's words were a lot to take in. A lot of info in so little time. But Jax was like 80% sure she was being accepted. Plus who was she to say no to free clothes? She's been to enough thrift stores in her past life to know there's always a goodie hiding in piles of free clothes.
An eye roll and a timid nod was given as an answer, making Kaufmo give a thumbs up. Dude looked both chill and like a total dweeb to Jax. Walking down the hall, the two talked a bit, growing closer. Kaufmo didn't even pry, letting Jax beat around the bush here and there about what was going on. Eventually she admitted she might be a girl and wanted to change pronouns. As for a name that was still a tough one. Wondered if changing names would be a good idea; simply changing clothes made her feel off. What if she changed names and regretted it?
A hand found a home on her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. "Hey, I don't know what you're thinking right now, but know I'm here for you." Kaufmo then pointed towards a wardrobe that was cartoonishly leaning to one side. "As are my spare clothing. Any time you feel like changing things up, ask me." Hearing that put a smile on her face and her heart swelled with joy. "That was so corny, Kaufmo."
The pair began to play around with different styles. Jax had no idea there were this many different styles of dresses and skirts. Her brain was being blown right now and made things a tad overwhelming. However there were a few things, she was discovering she liked. For one, having long black hair made a world of a difference. Even if it was just a mere wig. She also was digging a pink sweater with a black mini skirt but also doubted if she could pull it off. Everything felt.. off. Maybe this wasn't meant for her after all. Maybe that pair of overalls was all that fit her even if she didn't like it.
"Hey." he spoke in a tone so soft it put her at ease. "If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm all ears." A pair of black shoes and white leg warmers were placed before her. It was enough to make her get teary eyed and turn away. Still not used to crying in front of anyone other than that damn cute frog.
"I.. I don't get it. Everything seems so nice, but then I try it and-and it feels strange! Why do I want this so badly but get weirded out when I do it?!" She finally confessed as she willed away tears. Much rather look angry than something to pity. She crumbled into herself, head in between her legs and arms crossed over on top of her head. It was childish, but she couldn't help the urge to hide away.
As she fought back her tears and breathed heavily, a hand patted her back. "Everything is still new. Give yourself time to process it." That hand moved to readjust her bow on her ear that must have moved when she curled up. The bunny placed on the shoes while Kaufmo undid the shoe straps for and explained how to properly do the buckles. It was oddly sweet.
Back in the mirror, she looked back at her reflection. It still felt surreal, but pride was beginning to fill her now. Kaufmo joined her, donning his own choice of sundress in support of his best friend. "So Jax? Now do you or do you not feel pretty?" The question this time around made her beam with delight.
"I- I think I do. And I've been thinking about something else." Watching Kaufmo's expression change in the mirror, the bunny tugged on her ear once more in worry. But she knew his advice really did hold weight when thinking about it. "I think I want to be called Jessica. Maybe it's like you said, it feels weird because it's all new." Giving a shrug, Jessica tried to play like she didn't care. Like her heart was not pounding right out of her chest.
The clown leaned onto her, using her shoulder like a personal arm rest. A little friendly thing that always made her feel so welcomed by him. "Well Jessica, you hit things off with Rodger yet?" While he laughed at his own joke, Jessica's expression turned mischievous. She fiddled with the bow, waiting for him to figure it out finally. "Wait.. Oh my god. Don't tell me.." His confounded tone made her smirk widely.
Jessica playfully shrugged. "Okay, I won't. Guess I'll go since I got nothing to say." A giddy feeling filled her as she made her way towards the door with her friend chasing after. Opening it, she stopped dead in her tracks. Ribbit had her hand up like they were about to knock. The frog opened their mouth to say something but after eyeing up their girlfriend left them wordless.
"You like it? Kauf helped a lot." Jessica gestured behind her and pointed to Kaufmo. A very pleased smile came from Ribbit as she mouthed a thank you to their mutual friend. Jessica was very much getting more used to looking like this. Almost made her feel confident enough to ask Ribbit out on a date. Almost, maybe another time. For now, she'd be content with offering her hand.
Kaufmo waved the two off as they walked out. "You can keep the clothes, Jessica." Hearing that name from yet another person made her hands shake but this time out of glee. It felt like a dream come true. Pressing into her partner, she didn't think she could get any happier.
When it was just the two of them, Ribbit braided her hair just to play around with it and be affectionate. "Can I ask you something?" Getting a glance, gave her the clue to continue. "Well, since you go by Jessica now, would it be okay if I called you nicknames? Like Jess? I know you're eh on pet names like darling and dear." They fully pressed their weight onto the rabbit before putting her arms around her love. It was nice Ribbit never judged her boundaries, only asked genuine questions about them.
Suddenly the rabbit gotten an idea so mischievous her eyes went wide. "How about Jessie? Oh, don't be scared to say it around Zooble. They'd totally get it." Jessica rubbed her hands together and grinned at the thought of having a partner in crime to prank Zooble with. They have to bear with the reference that nickname would be making in order to support Jessica.
Ribbit could only laugh at that before resting her chin on Jessia's shoulder. "You're so dumb, I love you." The two's faces went red as they gently pressed their temples together. Ribbit moved to the side and cupped their girlfriend's face. Tilting their hand, they inched a little close. Giving Jessica enough space to just be admired or lean in. The rabbit placed her arms on her partner's shoulders before leaning it. Their lips weren't exactly real, but the butterflies it gave her and the love it blossomed in her heart was.
Jessica could get used to a life like this. The circus still sucked, but her friends and wonderful partner made it a bit better.