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Today was the big day. The day the Director of the TBD, after a lengthy century long tenure, would finally step down from their position and give the reins to their successor.
Everyone was gathered in the Clock Square, with the managers standing alongside Timekeeper on a stage as they awaited the big announcement. Croissant stood proudly by their side, while the rest stood behind in an orderly fashion. Everyone knew who was getting that hat.
The murmuring silenced itself the second Timekeeper walked up to the microphone, clearing her throat loudly and horribly. "Kuugh, cough, sorry about that. Now, for what you are all here for, the new Director of the TBD is someone whom I have nothing but trust in their decision making. Some might say I would consider this cookie my "other half", or the better version of myself!"
Croissant smiled wider. The managers shared a glance with each other, knowing the obvious answer.
"And I'm glad to say that that cookie that I trust, that you will now call Director for the rest of time and space issssss…" Timekeeper made a drumroll sound themself while tapping the mic with her fingers, before finally taking off her hat and offering it to the one cookie standing by her side:
"Dark Fondue Cookie!"
The CR manager- the former CR manager -made a faux gasp as the hat was placed on top of her head to the applause of everyone. Croissant was the first manager to congratulate her.
"I always knew you would be the next Director, Dark Fondue Cookie. It sure is better than if I became Director, but why the hell would that happen?" She gave her a strong pat on the back.
String Gummy nodded along with her, clapping his hands together with a small smile on his face. "There definitely isn't any other option for who could become Director. Not that I know anyone that exists, anyway."
Pan de Campagne laughed heartily. "Of course you're our best candidate. I can't think of a single moment where you've ever been wrong in our entire time working together."
All these compliments sent Dark Fondue's heart a flutter. As Timekeeper casually dragged Croissant away to do whatever it was they did in the latters workshop that most certainly wasn't CR approved, she was already thinking about what to start doing with her newfound power.
"Ah, you are all too kind. Luckily I feel generous, so I won't make you all go back to work or slash your salaries as punishment." She said all smiley and cheerily. "Instead, let me start rolling out improvements on the double, haha!"
Part one, improve the problem employee's performances. "Marble Bread, Coffee Candy!"
"No need to tell us, Director." The two problem children materialized, Marble Bread with his vacuum at the ready. "Just looking at you fills me with the urge to actually do my job without complaining about it every five minutes. In fact, I don't think I'll even need to take breaks!" He said with a smile.
Coffee Candy wagged her pigtails happily. "Same here, Ms. Fondue. You can say goodbye to that incompetent rookie you always knew, the new Coffee Candy will deliver consistently and without fail!"
To prove it, she stood perfectly still and didn't drop a single document she had in hand. A new record! "Haha, I'm glad to see you two finally show some initiative!"
Speaking off initiative, here came the exact opposite! "Congrats on the promotion, Dark Fondue!" Maple Taffy smiled like he wasn't a mistake commited by a witch that for sure regretted inflicting his existence upon Earthbread. "Just so you know, I promise that nothing will change between us with your promotion. I will never improve and become a respectable cookie and continue to be a waste of the life powder that sustains us."
Dark Fondue felt no rage. "That's alright, Maple Taffy, I never expected any better from you, anyways, haha."
“Glad to hear it! Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to being a waste of dough and life powder in my office while passing under this precariously hanging 2000 Pound motor gear that could instantly paste me if it were to fall off.”
Dark Fondue simply smiled, waving the Relic Manager goodbye as he jauntily walked away from them.
The sound of a snap and a loud, earth shaking thud later, her smile deepened. “Oh, goodness, it appears that our Relic Manager has been crushed by a 2000 pound motor gear to his death! I guess I'll have to replace him with someone competent now.”
The other RMD nuisance appeared by the Maple Taffy body with a great big smile. “Leave it to me, I, Schneeball Cookie, will be sure to be a perfect copy of every little thing about Maple Taffy that annoys you as I stand under another identical 2000 pound motor gear that could instantly paste me if it were to fall off!”
Another snap, another thud, another happy smile from Dark Fondue. “Ah, we'll figure out a new manager for the RMD later. Frankly I should just axe it and save us the budget.”
Speaking of, her gaze hovered over the TBD as it worked at an improved efficiency the likes no one had ever seen before. Sure, there were places improving, like that Marble Bread over there getting five different tasks done at once without complaining about it once. But why wait for improvement from the incompetent divisions? There was an easier solution!
Part two, liquidating useless assets!
“Attention all employees. I will now be removing divisions of the TBD that sit around and contribute nothing of value to the company mission. Starting with our supposedly secret division, SCOOP!”
The five employees of SCOOP stood before her, looking dim and annoying as ever, especially that Povidone Iodine. Dark Fondue wandered up to them and grabbed a lever. “You're all fired. Honestly, you should have never been hired in the first place with the way you do things.” And she pulled.
Povidone Iodine smiled. “Science!” She said, before the trapdoor opened beneath her feet. What a satisfying cracking sound.
Black Vinegar shrugged. “Eh, you got us there.” She was promptly let go from the company into the abyss beneath her.
Litmus raised her hand. “Can I get a day off instead?”
Dark Fondue considered it. “... Alright, but only because you're competent.”
The smaller cookie pumped her fist. “Yus!”
Mochaccino fluttered her lashes at her. "You know, technically I'm a TBD worker more than a SCOOP worker-"
Dark Fondue would not fall for the attempt at seduction, and just pulled the lever and watched the liaison blip out of existence.
Cutter Circuit stared at her. She stared back at them. “... I don't know who you are, actually. What do you do at SCOOP again?” Dark Fondue asked sincerely.
The strange looking cookie shrugged. “Beats me, you know as much as I do.” The knife promptly slammed onto the cutting board.
Litmus raised a sleeved hand again. "Hey, Black Vinegar hasn't done anything wrong, why don't you bring her back?"
She thought on it, before shrugging. "Alright, I suppose." And with a reversed pull, Black Vinegar rose back up from the trapdoor and into life once more.
"Wooh."
How satisfying it felt to weed out the weak links in the company. The new Director laughed to herself, before noticing a certain well kneaded manager walking up to her with a nervous look in her usually stoic phase. How could she forget, it was Part Three.
"I must congratulate you, Dark Fondue. You proved me wrong in every capacity, and I'm ashamed to have ever criticized you about anything ever in our past."
"Aw, but I enjoy our little arguments." She grabbed her by the collar and dragged her close to her face, Baguette's face catching fire at the proximity. "Besides, I'll need some critiques on my performance if I want to improve here. Both as Director, and, haha."
Leaning in so close that her breath started to fog up her glasses, Dark Fondue whispered into her ear, "as your lover. My office, now."
—
"Awww, she's dreaming."
In the break room, and in the real world where Timekeeper still ruled as Director, Dark Fondue slept soundly with her head on the table. Coffee Candy and Baguette had walked in to find her in the state, each taking in the adorable sight with the knowledge that the CR manager would threaten them if they ever spoke about this to anyone else. She was adorable like that.
Baguette nodded in agreement to Coffee Candy's comment, stepping over to grab some coffee. "She deserves the rest after that all nighter she pulled."
The sleeping Fondue chuckled. Under her breath one could barely hear her mutter the words "termination" and "submitting". No need to guess what she was dreaming about, it was obvious to the two that she'd been crowned director in the dream world.
"We should let her sleep, then. I'll bring her a coffee later when she's awake."
Baguette walked over to the woman, looking down at her with a soft gaze. She'd lose that gaze when the next words Fondue muttered ran along the lines of "Yes, Baguette, like that, organize, mmm, by date..."
At the words "good girl", she decided it was best for them to leave. Who knows what future would be in store for them if they accidentally woke her up, anyways.