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"I can't believe I'm nominated for Ms. Earthbread. Me, of all cookies!"
That envelope showing up in her mail was quite a surprise for Croissant Cookie. Smelling of flowers, made with a gloriously high-quality mint leaf paper and featuring a crown shaped stamp, and containing a card officially welcoming her to the competition. The fact that she was being considered for this? She wasn't that special. She was just a humble engineer who wanted to make the cookie worlds a better place.
Also, she wasn't from this timeline. How did they know that she was staying there at the time for a sabbatical hunting down one of those Vanilla Kingdom waffle bots? She'd asked Timekeeper, and she simply said not to worry about it. That just made her worry more, frankly.
"Don't undersell yourself, Croissant." Baguette patted her on the back, the gathered employees in the break room all giving her their own smiles and reassurances at the same time. "You are an exemplary employee of the Time Balance Department. If it were my choice, I would happily nominate you as our representative, both in importance and in attractiveness."
"I'd vote for you, no matter what." String Gummy admitted, only realizing what he had just said when Croissant started to laugh. "I, uhm." He stammered, his face catching fire with a blush.
"Pfft, you sap, you don't have to say that." She punched him in the shoulder, before leaning down to peck him on the cheek. "But thanks."
Dark Fondue gave her usual false smile. The one used for disagreeing with others in the way that made the opposing cookie look like the bad guy. "Now, I wouldn't push so far as to say you are our best employee. You do underperform in certain key areas, in my personal opinion. Some might even say several."
Groans from the other employees, which she ignored. Croissant simply sat down while shaking her head at the CR heads shenanigans. She still wasn't all that confident in her odds, but it was nice to have all this support from her coworkers.
Still, it was an interesting question to think about. Did she meet the qualities for Ms. Earthbread?
"What do you think cookies look for in a Ms. Earthbread, anyway? I know it's definitely more than just looks."
All eyes landed on Coffee Candy, who was currently sipping at her coffee before noticing the attention placed on her and chocking a little on her drink. "Huh, whoa? What- did I do something wrong?"
"Coffee Candy, you're a journalist." Marble Bread pointed out dryly. "You probably reported on one of those Ms. Earthbread competitions for the newspaper…"
She giggled. "Oh, yeah, I totally have. Ms. Earthbread 2018 was the only one, though. After that fiasco down in the Creme Republic…" She gazed off into nothing. Sugar Gnomes could be very cutthroat in the fashion industry. "Uh, sorry, Lemme think."
Thinking back to those interviews she had to perform for her article, she pulled out a short list of qualities from her memories within only a few seconds of thought. "I guess we can start off with good looks. It's not the most important factor, obviously, but we do have to get that one over with."
Croissant blushed. "I mean, am I pretty? I've always thought myself more, uh, boyishly handsome? A lot of girls used to swoon at me when we were working on engineering projects or after gym classes back in my school days." She vividly remembered one girl having gone to the hospital for severe jam loss from a nosebleed, all because her shirt had torn a little from brushing up against the edge of a locker and exposed a bit of bicep. That had been a validating yet terrifying day
String Gummy didn't hesitate for a second. "Absolutely." Said with the same certainty one had with declaring that grass was green and that SeaMoon was canon.
Others, however, put more thought into the question. "Well, tomboys aren't exactly my type." Coffee Candy admitted, though with an apologetic smile to ensure there weren't any hard feelings. "I'm more into bookish types. You know, smart, well organized, with a penchant for pencil skirts and practical jackets." She slowly started getting lost in thought as she gazed upward. "Long hair, maybe a pair of nerdy reading glasses like a librarian would wear, capable of locating important files through pure instinct and intrinsic knowledge of file sorting systems. A little stiff-"
"We get it, you're into Baguettes." Schneeball rudely cut her off. Any longer and either Baguette would combust out of embarrassment, or Dark Fondue would dig a hole into the table from jealousy. Coffee Candy likely would have done the former instantly if she hadn't continued the conversation. "Personal opinion isn't important in this scenario. While you definitely don't fall into what I find attractive in women, I can confidently say that within the demographic you inhabit: Employed Handywomen with masters in Engineering, you are definitely pretty high up."
That was a pretty thorough explanation. Everyone in the room nodded along to it. Croissant was in fact an employed handywoman with a masters degree in engineering! She always thought she was more of a greasy butch mechanic, though. Eh, semantics. "Okay, what's next then?"
Coffee Candy thought on it. "Hmmm, talent is next. And it's a no-brainer for sure!"
Now that she could take pride in without question. "Smartest woman in the TBD!"
"Let's not go too far with that." Pain de Campagne shook his head with a smirk. "You're talented for sure, but you're also reckless. And frankly some of the ways you test your creations are very concerning."
"Hey, I don't ask String Gummy to shoot me all the time!"
"Most of the time is not a good alternative either."
String Gummy shook his head. "Sometimes I feel like you'll start swimming around in the time rifts for fun. And don't deny it, I saw the scuba gear in your office. Attaching a blast shield and a V8 Engine to it is not going to make it safer."
"Coffee Candy, next category." Croissant wasn't taking this needless criticism. And she was going to downgrade to a V6 anyway, she already learned the V8 was overkill. String Gummy didn't have to fuss over like a hen for her to make smart moves.
"Right. Number three was ambition. Everyone loves a lady who has a goal in life, especially if you're succeeding at it."
Another no-brainer. "Well who's gonna say that wanting to be the greatest time engineer is small potatoes?" All these compliments were really starting to improve her mood, the engineer beaming as she declared that to the room.
"Perhaps so, but you didn't always want to be one, haha?" Dark Fondue pointed out, daintily tapping her pointer on the table as she aimed it at Croissant. "Would you still have been as ambitious as you are now if you had never been hired, hmm?" The woman smiled deviously.
That put the engineer into thought. That was a good question. "Weeeeelll, I'd say so? I was getting my degree in engineering with the plan to get into the transportation industry and make some improvements on things like airplane engines and the like. I just picked up the Timecraft as an extra credit side-project. Then I got really, really into that project, and you can kinda tell how that ended up."
"Impressive! I could have sworn I'd read one of your thesis papers on the efficiency of corn oil in the aviation industry." Maple Taffy stroked his chin in thought. "Imagine what the other timelines would look like if she never joined the company. Do we have word on how different they look like, Baguette?"
"You know very well I can't divulge that information." The TRD manager gruffly stated. She took these kinds of rules seriously, and wouldn't just drop information about alternate timelines just to answer an inconsequential question about someone's qualities for Ms. Earthbread of all things.
She stood strong against the expectant stares. A certain two were fluttering their lashes cutely… fuck.
She sighed. "In one timeline, all airplanes now have adjustable seats to accommodate for cookies of all sizes."
The excited muttering from all the other cookies made Croissant's heart flutter. That was point four of her thesis paper. It was nice to know one version of herself succeeded in that endeavor of those adjustable plane seats, so that a cookie may never be squished in between two big bear jellies while the lunch tray dug into their stomach. Though, that did mean she lived in the timeline where that wasn't the case.
Would life be better if she hadn't joined the TBD?
"Uh, before I get too existential about that, what's that last category?"
"The last one was…" She thought, before remembering what the answer was. "Bravery."
They all stared at her. An oddly specific category to rank someone on. Everyone knew that the bravest cookie in the world was Gingerbrave, they didn't spend six months researching the subject in a feverish hunt for it just to toss away the answer. And if Croissant qualified as the bravest…
Marble Bread tossed out an answer, "does being insane enough to shove a piece of a time goggle in your eye just to outsmart that blue milk guy count as brave? Or is that just, like, regular insanity?"
Without hesitation, everyone agreed on the latter. Croissant pouted. "Oh, come on, what else was I gonna do? You try and come up with an idea that helps you knock two time criminals into the time stream without them catching on!"
"You could have not gone into the timeline and pulled off a sacrifice play. How about that?" Pain de Campagne pointed out.
Croissant sulked. That proved nothing.
"So, what's the verdict, then?" String Gummy asked. The small smile he had betrayed what he knew the answer was. In his eyes, no one else qualified more for the position.
The coffee girl hummed, grabbing her notepad and beginning to write down her notes in deep focus. The employees gathered close around her, expectations rising for the answer that was obvious in hindsight, but that deserved a proper confirmation in their eyes.
Her pen stopped after a whole minute. She stared at the answer, blinking unevenly. "Huh. Well, the answer to if Croissant Cookie is worthy of being Ms. Earthbread is…"
"Maple Taffy Cookie?"
Everyone blinked in confusion. What? How was that possible? They weren't even testing for someone else to get the position?
Maple Taffy Cookie smiled in the face of this confusion. "Whelp, you can't argue with the scientific process! Do I get a sash or anything?"