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"The Survivors Won."
Double Trouble rounds were supposed to be wayyy easier to finish off. But alas, Mafioso and Noli lost, and they were teleported back to the killer's cabin.
Noli was absolutely fuming, side-eyeing the mafia boss. And as their glowing protective shields fade, Noli's shoulders shook, making himself smaller by hunching inwards. He refused to look at the one who caused them to fail.
S0b.
Mafioso's ears twitch at the sound. "Huh? You cryin'?"
The hacker balls his fists, and his breaths got heavier. You could practically see steam fuming out of his ears. "Y0U G0-G0T 1N M-MY W44Y!!" He yelled, voice glitching as he jabs a finger at Mafioso. "4ND Y0UR ST00PID G00NS T-T00!!"
His gaze hardened. "Don't you dare-"
"I! W4S! S0! CL0SE!!" He punctuated every word with a STOMP. Tears furiously ran down his cheeks as he aggressively wipes them off. Noli whines loudly, prompting Mafi to cover his bunny ears.
"Ugh, you're so annoying!" The crime boss crosses his arms, and blew a raspberry at him. "Maybe you just suck, blllrrpphhh!"
"EWWW! Y0-Y0U G0T S-SP1T 0N M3!?%&!!"
"YEAH! You're just a biiiig crybabyy~ WA WA WA!" He jutted out his lips, mocking Noli's outburst.
"G4SP! Y0U T-T4K3 TH4T- TH4T B4CK, ######!!"
Noli raised his hand and slaps Mafioso's face. "OW! That hurt!" Tears start to well up in Mafi's eyes, he growled and immediately pushed Noli until he hit the ground. "H3Y!?"
And when push comes to shove, a full on fight broke out. Hair pulling, scratching, biting and yelling heard all throughout the cabin-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO YELLING ABOUT!?"
...!? The two boys froze.
1x barged in, breathing heavily. Then suddenly Noli ran up to him, hugging his side. "P4p4, h-h3 push3d m3!!"
"Who you callin-"
Mafioso's ears perked up. "No. YOU started it first!"
"No 1 d1dn't!"
"DID TOO-!"
"ENOUGH!"
1x sighs, pinching their forehead. "You both act like children. What's gotten into you??"
He looked at both of them, they were acting quite unusual. A terroristic hacker and a feared crime boss acting so... immature for their age?
The manifestation paused. "Wait, is this the age regression thingamajig Azure mentioned before?"
The regressors nodded in unison. To 1x's knowledge, Azure essentially becomes a caregiver who gives care to the two of them. But it seems like he's busy tending to his plants at the moment.
"Well, you two have been so naughty lately..." 1x smirks. "You don't want me to tell Papa Azzy don't you?"
"NO!!"
"Alright, alright, I'm just messing with you boys." Noli huffed and Mafi looked away from him.
1x simply groaned.
"Look, I may be the literal manifestation of hatred, but you two need to apologize."
"Wuh? Why?"
"Y3ah, ar3n't y0u a-a- me4n1e??"
1x scoffs. "If you two keep fighting with each other, you won't be able to win the round."
"And I'd hate to see that damned chicken get away scot-free. I want him to suffer." 1x dramatically fists his hands. "And we can't have that if you guys are too focused with each other, rather than the actual targets."
"So just say sorry to each other. Hug it out, whatever... Unless you want me to put you boys in time out?"
The two of them shook their heads.
The hacker took a deep breath. "I.. I'm s0wwy f0-f0r bl4ming y0u-y0u... 4nd s4ying b-b4d th1ngs... sob." Mafi just cried even more. "Me- hic too! I- I'm soh- sorry for pushing you..."
They forgave each other and hugged, with 1x just basically rolled his eyes. (even though he suggested it.)
"Yeah, yeah, c'mon. Uncle 1x will get you guys all patched up."
The three of them entered the living room and sat at the couch near the fireplace. The warm inviting glow of the flame soothing their senses. 1x dries their tears, gently patting both of their heads. "Uh.. Don't cry or something- I'm not mad at you two, mkay?"
The door creaks open. "Oi, oi!" One of 1x's minions considerately brought them a medkit. "Thank you, and help the boss out, wouldja?" The minion gave a small salute.
"Hm, let's see the damage." 1x examines Noli's arm and asks, "where does it hurt?" The regressor points to a scratch mark near his elbow, so he reached for the medkit and took out some colorful looking bandages.
Noli's eyes widened. "I w4n' the purpl3 on3!"
Meanwhile, that 1x minion (ha) was tending to Mafi's injuries with such care that reminded him of his own goons. "Oi! oi!" There's a cute bunny bandaged on his hand. "Heheh... I wike it!"
With the boys feeling a little bit better after the fight, they were starting to get hungry. 1x dismisses his minion, as it took the medkit away. "Alright kiddos, let's go grab some dinner, shall we?"
1x opened the fridge and took out a few eggs and frozen meat he had marinated overnight (he wasn't called "Chef 1Eggs" for nothing...)
"So, how would you like your eggs?"
"Scwambled, please!"
"Umm... vermin sunny- s1d3 up!"
"Coming right up~!" He playfully puts on his chef hat, becoming the one and only Chef 1Eggs.
The aroma of spices and herbs fills the kitchen, followed by the sounds of sizzling, something that 1Eggs was well accustomed to.
Noli and Mafi watched him cook with flair and ease, keeping them entertained while their food is being prepared. Every now and then he'd dramatically flip the beef in the air with a "Whoa!" or "Hiya!" which made both of them laugh. He then puts the eggs and beef onto their colorful plates.
"Dinner is served, bon appetit!"
The the scrambled eggs were smooth and fluffy, which melted in Mafi's mouth with every bite. And the Sunny side up had those crispy edges with the runny, and half-cooked yolk, exactly how Noli likes it.
Ohhhh and the beef was divine. It wasn't hard to chew. It was smooth, savory with a hint of sweetness. Chef 1Eggs has done it again.
"It's s0 yum-yummy..." Noli happily chews, savoring each bite.
"Mhm! Compliments to da chef!" You could see his lil bunny tail wagging as he eats.
Then, footsteps of a familiar figure approaches "I smell something nice cooking in here~"
Mafi's tail and ears perked up. "Papa Azzy!"
"Hello, my little saplings~ and..." Azure glances at 1x who was still cooking. "Oh? Is dear 1x treating you both well?" Azure smiled, not expecting 1x out of everyone to take care of the littles. His tentacles came to gently pat on their heads.
"Yeah, yeah, well, they did throw a fuss earlier..." He shrugs. "Eventually I got them to make up."
"Ah, what a relief..." Azure reassures him with a smile. "To be frank, I'm glad it was you who took care of the situation."
"...really?"
Azure nods. "I know this coping mechanism may seem a bit unusual for people who are unfamiliar... but it seems you're taking it in with stride."
"Like you said, coping mechanism. Besides, we all have 'em, right? I'm not gonna be a jerk about it." He then adds. "I've come to... tolerate things. At least."
The botanist crosses his arms. "I'd say you've done quite more than just tolerate, my dear manifestation."
1x pauses, he could've just ignored them and age regress themselves. But seeing how happy they were watching him cook...
"Maybe... maybe you're right."
Azure puts a hand on his shoulder. "Y'know 1x, I can take it from here if you'd like. You've done so much already."
The chef thought about it for a moment. "Nah, I can handle 'em. 'Sides, I'm sure they're already tired from today's round."
"Very well. I suppose I should replenish my energy before I continue my gardening work... Thank you, truly."
After dinner was done, they brushed their teeth and brought their agere gear to Uncle 1x's room.
The two boys happily sucked on their pacifiers, Mafi bringing his favorite bunny plushie, ears twitching with excitement, while Noli with his beloved star-decorated blanky.
They juuust needed help with putting on their nappy. "Oh, I... I didn't think about this."
"D0n't w0rry, Uncl3 1x, I c4n h3lp!" Noli fumbles with his GUI, but manages to find a video on how to wear diapers.
To him, it was awkward, yes, but he's willing to try. The woman in the video demonstrated it in such a firm and calming tone, which made it easier for both of them. He gently cleaned Mafi with wet wipes and slid on a new and clean nappy, he also did the same with Noli.
"Is it comfy, or too tight?"
"N0pe, it's p3rfect!"
"Well, that's all I needed to hear." 1x flops onto bed, arms wide to join him. As they snuggle up in bed, 1x turns on the TV, playing some good ol' cartoons as they slowly fall asleep.
Eventually, Azure would check in on them, the door creaking open which showed 1x contently cuddling Noli and Mafi. The caregiver than shut off the TV that was still playing and turned on the night light.
"Hehe, sweet dreams, everyone."
