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'Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?'
Who was Alhaitham fooling?
He had said it out of spite, a few months ago after their first dealing with the fatui, upon Kaveh’s return. Kaveh’s trip to the desert was to last supposedly a week or so. How was it that he was able to maneuver his budget for an extension and not his alcohol expenses?
And it had its desired effect. Kaveh had gotten irritated, his composure ruffled. What a sight for Alhaitham to have beheld.
Often, when he was irritated and had nothing more to say in response, Kaveh would merely shut him up with a kiss. It always worked.
***
'The most capable minds of their respective fields are before you.'
Alhaitham had seen the way Kaveh’s eyes lit up at his words, at his recognition. He had always cherished that talent, knowing exactly what to say for things to work out in his favor. And he knew, this time, and him most of all, the doubts that would usually follow a commission.
This was Kaveh’s rightful place. In all his brilliance, right beside Alhaitham.
He had been annoyed then, frustrated at their situation, and promptly kissed Alhaitham again before they got to work.
***
'Are you nervous?'
Alhaitham had asked it out of habit, first and foremost. Provoking Kaveh was his strong suit and, well, perhaps it had always been a strange way for him to show concern. And then Kaveh admitted he was actually nervous, and… Oh, Lesser Lord, give him strength.
The night in the Mausoleum of King Deshret was predictably uncomfortable. There weren’t enough beds, and while some of them ended up sharing, ultimately Jeht, Dehya, Cyno, and Alhaitham decided not to claim a bed entirely. Oh, and of course, Kaveh didn’t either. The man had enough of a savior complex to power all of them.
Alhaitham sat against a sand construct. He supposed this would suffice over the floor, even more over a chair—which Kaveh had planned on doing earlier this evening, when they’d last spoken to each other. Except, where was Kaveh?
Admittedly, his tendency to disregard the emotional aspect of certain matters was Alhaitham’s weak point. He could recognize as much. Realistically, it was like they say: a leopard truly cannot change its spots. Ideally, Alhaitham could try. Though he really couldn’t care less. More often than not, it was less efficient. Why bother?
Yet he tried, because perhaps even he was tired of Kaveh’s incessant whining. He is able to admit to himself that, albeit irrational, emotions are the key to being considered understanding. Kaveh had fought to make him understand, fought to make Alhaitham try.
And still, even Kaveh would say, if only to himself (though probably in his face, if he hadn’t fled so quickly), Alhaitham was trying too hard.
“I hope everything works out tomorrow.”
Kaveh had made his way beside him earlier that evening, one shaky hand giving him a glass of water. The sky was painted a deep red, striking against the sandstorms littering the Sumeru desert. From here, it almost seemed like the world was ending.
“It will,” Alhaitham had said. It was more fact than reassurance. “As long as we stick to the plan, our chances of success are good.”
Kaveh had sighed. Alhaitham’s eyes drifted to him, crimson eyes nearly the same shade as the evening sky. Right about now, when Kaveh’s lips would purse, he would usually remember their days at the Akademiya.
“It's really strange. You're my junior, yet you always seem to act more like an upperclassman than I do.”
Alhaitham tried not to look so triumphant. “I think it's mostly a matter of temperament.”
Kaveh groaned. “Walked right into that one, didn't I?”
And it was strange, because at that moment, Kaveh actually seemed nervous, as if he had no faith in their chain-reaction plan. As if he had no faith in himself.
Alhaitham knew him well enough to assume that was the case. Wasn’t it always, when it came to him?
But he had said all there was to be said, and he really wasn’t one to repeat himself. And maybe Kaveh looked prettier tonight all of a sudden anyway - under a blood-red sky the same shade of his eyes. And maybe Alhaitham really did need to work on his people skills, as Kaveh had told him to one day.
Alhaitham’s hand found Kaveh’s waist, guiding him closer.
“What- Alhaitham?”
Now, he looked annoyed again. Usually Kaveh would kiss him first, and Alhaitham was never one to break routine. Except when he waited, the kiss never came.
“Are you calmer now?” Alhaitham asked.
“Are you stupid? No!” Kaveh hissed. He really looked irritated now. “Look–Oh, Lesser Lord, just come here–”
“Kaveh-” was all he got to say, until lips were on his, cold despite the heat of the desert. No matter, Alhaitham could warm him up easily.
He underestimated how nervous Kaveh actually was, with the frantic way he latched his hands around the back of his neck. It felt good, and like this, Alhaitham could think he was grounding Kaveh back to reality, back down from his agitation and worry.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Kaveh had whispered, looking more regretful than satisfied.
Alhaitham had pulled back, confused. Wasn’t that supposed to help?
***
He hadn’t seen Kaveh since then. The chair the man had claimed had been unoccupied for over an hour now. Alhaitham really didn’t need a sleepless Kaveh tomorrow of all days.
He stood, and knew exactly where to go.
Kaveh was kneeling beside Collei’s bed, telling her something even though the girl was already fast asleep. Alhaithan could only assume Kaveh talked her to sleep, easing her out of their shared worry. Like this, Kaveh’s eyes were softer, though they always were when he was with people he cared about.
Either Alhaitham was an exception, or Kaveh just didn’t care enough for him.
It shocked him, how quickly the pain shot through him just at the thought.
“It’s late,” he said, reminding himself of why he was even here. “Are you planning on sleeping here?”
He watched Kaveh’s cheeks turn a mild pink. “No, I was heading back soon.”
“She’s clearly asleep now.”
“You can’t be sure,” Kaveh said, turning to Collei.
“She isn’t going anywhere.”
“She was worried earlier. If she wakes up with no one around, she’ll be even more anxious.”
Alhaitham walked toward him. “Were you planning on staying awake the entire night, then?”
“Of course not! Just until she wakes up.”
“Which could be by sunrise.”
“I- Well, like I said, you can’t be sure.”
“Kaveh. Wasting your energy isn’t going to make it any better for either you or Collei. Avoiding your problems and excusing it as solving others’ issues isn’t going to work this time.”
“Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe it’s you I’m avoiding?”
Alhaitham tried not to stagger back. Well, no, that was overreacting. He tried not to furrow his brows too much.
“You’re avoiding me,” he repeated slowly.
Kaveh sighed, the kind of breath that seeped slowly out of his body. “Alhaitham, we don’t do this. We don’t… kiss all the time.”
Was that what this was about? He was going to ask, but Kaveh didn’t exactly look like he was going to take anything lightly right now. Instead of listing the exact number of events that would prove they did, in fact, ‘kiss all the time’, Alhaitham settled with, “But we do.”
Kaveh gave him a pointed look. “When we argue, yes. But not when you’re,” he exhaled again, “comforting me.”
Alhaitham blinked. “Is that supposed to be any different? Besides, was it not you who keeps initiating-?”
“I know,” he cut in. “I know, Alhaitham. I’m trying to make sense of it.”
“And what am I supposed to do while you’re making sense of it?”
It was one of those baits he threw out whenever Kaveh wasn’t making his point clear. He wanted something, and Alhaitham was determined to get it out of him.
Only, he didn’t get angry this time.
“I don’t know,” Kaveh said. He leaned against the wall of sand, his shoulders slumping. He glanced back up at Alhaitham again. “Wait for me?”
So he waited.
***
He didn’t have to wait long.
It had been quite the storm that wrecked their home, the books ending up cluttered on the shelves. It wasn’t even the amount of things to fix, but how tedious it all was to bring everything back together.
And, Alhaitham supposed, how tedious it was to bring the two of them back to how they were before.
In hindsight, telling Kaveh he was glad they both made it out of the issue with the fatui was a great idea. The man was in a much brighter mood, though still annoyed at how messy the house ended up.
“We’ll have to repair the roof if it keeps up like this,” he was saying. “The storms are more frequent this time of year.”
“We could always just buy less furniture,” Alhaitham offered.
“Of course you’d say that. You don’t care at all for the arts,” There was something in his voice, almost fond with the way he said things this time. He was holding one of the books he’d borrowed from the Akademiya, one they’d both annotated.
When he looked up at him again, his eyes were soft, and Alhaitham wondered how he could ever think Kaveh didn’t care enough for him.
“Come here, will you?” Kaveh said. “If you want something to master, I do have some suggestions.”
Alhaitham went easy, right into his arms. This was his rightful place. In all his brilliance, beside Kaveh.
“I don’t suppose you’re talking about kissing.”
“Do you have to be so blunt with it?” Kaveh said. And he looked so annoyed so quickly. “You said you’d wait for me, didn’t you?”
“That I did,” Alhaitham said, watching the way the man in his arms had smiled. “And now I think it’s time to reap the fruits of my labor.”
This time, Alhaitham kissed Kaveh first.