Archive of Our Own ^beta

To say Erin didn’t go out a lot was an understatement. To say Erin never went out…

Well, actually, that was pretty accurate.

Erin Gilbert never went out.

She never went to parties, never went to festivities, and never attended any other form of ‘cultish social gathering’. She didn’t want to, either.

(Okay, she did want to. She was just never invited, so insisting she didn’t even want to go in the first place seemed like the best lie to tell herself).

Most of the time, she had her friend Abby keeping her company. Unlike Erin, Abby actually hated parties with a fervent passion, and the girl always much preferred hanging out with Erin over any party or festivity her parents always dragged her to. Which was why it hurt Erin all the more to hear that her friend was going to a masked ball that she – again - hadn’t been invited to. 

“Come on, Erin. You know I’m only going because my parents are forcing me to. If we could change places I would do so in a heartbeat.”

Erin nodded slowly at her friend’s feeble attempts to make her feel better, but it wasn’t really working. She’s never admit it out loud, but just for once, she’d actually like to see what all the fuss was about. For once, she actually really wanted to dress up like a princess, and dance, and feel beautiful- Or, well, maybe not beautiful, but at least presentable.

But alas, she was the biggest social outcast in the village, and no one even so much as dared mentioning the existence of a party to her, for the fear of Erin crashing it.

Such was life, she supposed.

When she looked back up at Abby, hoping to reassure her friend that ‘really, it was okay, she understood’, Abby was grinning at her in a way that Erin knew couldn’t predict anything good. 

“… What?” Erin begun hesitantly, looking at Abby with suspicion.

“Erin…” Abby grinned, shaking her head. “It’s a masked ball.”

Erin’s eyes lit up at that, and so the two friends had begun to plot. Considering every invitation left room for a plus one, Erin would be Abby’s, and would have a few precious hours to spend on the dance floor and keep her friend company. At midnight, all masks would be taken off, so in order not to ostracize Abby even more from society, Erin would need to have left by then. But it was better than nothing, and Erin could not be more excited. 

Finally. Her first party.

Wandering around the room, a glass of wine in her hand, Erin was amazed at the grandeur of it all. Everything seemed to sparkle and shimmer, the King sparing no expense for his eldest and only daughter, in whose honour the ball was held.

As she was busy taking in the grandeur of the palace ballroom, she didn’t pay any attention to where she was going, much too in awe of everything around her. As a result, she stumbled into something – or, someone – nearly tripping over her own feet and spilling her wine as a result.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” She quickly stammered out, beyond terrified that she had just blown her cover, proving herself to be someone who didn’t even remotely fit in here.

Luckily, the person she’d bumped into didn’t seem too upset, strong hands holding her up and keeping her from falling flat on her face. (Which was something Erin was especially grateful for. Judging by the marble floor, actually falling on her face would have hurt like a bitch)

“That’s alright.”

Having only seen the sharp, black shoes and the bottom half of what looked like a suit, Erin had to admit she was a little surprised to hear a woman’s voice fall from the stranger’s lips. She wore it well, though, the suit, Erin had to admit that much. Probably custom made, the black on black outfit seemed to highlight all of the stranger’s best features, the jewels set on the shoulders twinkling in the low lighting.

Her blonde hair is tied up rather stylishly, and the top half of her face is covered by a black mask, the silver jewels at the corner of her eye serving to highlight their brilliant shade of deep blue.

Erin, who had looked up at the woman in order to properly apologize, felt her mouth go dry at the sight. Because really, the stranger was absolutely gorgeous, and Erin felt herself get more flustered by the second.

“No, really, I-” She couldn’t really utter much more, the woman’s amused smile and sparkling eyes silencing her.

“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Erin felt her cheeks flush a little at the blonde’s words, which really wasn’t a good thing. In fact, it was a bad thing. A Terrible thing with a capital T, even. Erin’s pale pink dress may have made her look and feel like a princess, but it would take more than that and a flimsy mask to fool people. She was the Ghost Girl, laughing stock of the village, and she had no business being attracted to anyone around here. If she had any shred of self-preservation, she’d try and get out of here as soon as possible.

Looking into the woman’s eyes again, however, it became clear that apparently, Erin had no sense of self-preservation, a small smile gracing her lips as she spoke again.

“So… Quite the party, huh?”

Erin felt like she could kick herself as soon as the words fell from her lips. ‘Quite the party’? Was that really the best thing she could come up with? Forget her having to leave at midnight, this alone would be enough to turn the dashing blonde stranger away.

The woman seemed amused, though, chuckling lightly at Erin’s awkward comment.

“Yes, I suppose it is quite the party. Especially if it’s got ladies as lovely as you as its guests.”

A bright blush began to coat Erin’s cheeks at the compliment, and Holtzmann found herself smiling at the sight. She had been bored out of her mind all night, carelessly dancing by herself in a way to protest to her parents even more. The ball being held in her honour did nothing to calm the princess’ rebellious streak, especially considering she hated gowns and wanted nothing to do with any of her male suitors.

This girl had piqued her interest, though. She seemed nervous, shy, and clearly out of her depth surrounded by the grandeur of the palace. It made Holtzmann curious about her. She wanted to know more about her, wanted to know what made her tick, wanted to know what exactly was going on in that pretty little head of hers.

Especially considering the girl seemed to have no idea who she was faced with.

Oh, this could be fun.

Letting go of the redhead’s arms, making sure she was standing steadily on her own two feet again, Holtzmann bowed at her, before gently taking the other’s hand and kissing the back, leaving an imprint of her soft pink lips on the skin.

“Would you dance with me?”

Erin felt her breath hitch in her throat as the blonde kissed her hand, nodding silently as she followed the stranger onto the dance floor, even more stunned than before. Not only had the woman not left, or gotten angry with Erin for being a horrible klutz, she had actually invited Erin to dance.

Her first dance…

Erin had to admit she was a little giddy with excitement as she took a proper waltz position, glad for the handful of lessons her parents had forced upon her as a kid. She still wasn’t the world’s greatest dancer, but at least she’d be able to hold her own.

As the blonde twirled her around on the dance floor, Erin had to admit this was certainly one of the most amazing things she’d ever experienced. So far, she’d only dreamed about dances like this, the hopeless romantic that she was. One of her fiercest wishes had been to be spun around on the dance floor in a pretty dress like the girls in fairy tales. She doubted her dance partner knew just how special this was to Erin.

Still, part of her wondered whether this was some elaborate hoax. Maybe the blonde had seen through her disguise with ease, and was now waiting for the perfect moment to properly embarrass her in front of everyone. But the more they danced, the less and less sure Erin seemed of that. The blonde seemed genuine, and the way her hand rested on her waist was almost gentle as she lead Erin through a series of simple dances, occasionally spinning her out.

“I love your dress…” Holtzmann smiled as Erin spun back into her arms, the pink fabric fluttering around her legs. “It really compliments your hair, and eyes. Pink is your colour, my dear.”

Blushing at the compliment, Erin dared herself not to look away from her dance partner despite her embarrassment. “Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself. Very… dashing.”

She smiled nervously at the woman, her heart racing in her chest. “You’re very good at this.”

Holtzmann hums, a little smirk tugging at her lips, “You’re not half bad yourself. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Never.” Erin admitted, having revealed a few bits and pieces to the stranger as they danced. Nothing that could let her know who she was, of course, but enough to be able to inform her on her horrible lack of etiquette knowledge.

“Well, you could have fooled me.” The blonde replied, winking at Erin. “Beautiful and clever. I’ve sure chosen a good partner for tonight.”

“I really wouldn’t know about that…” She laughed nervously, revelling in the fluttering feeling in her stomach. She imagined this must be what ‘butterflies’ felt like. Erin, having never really had the chance to like someone, decided she rather liked it.

This was still a Bad Idea, of course. Erin still didn’t belong in this world – would never belong in this world – and in a way she felt terrible for leading the woman on, as it were.

But as the blonde trails her fingers over Erin’s jawline, still slowly spinning them around on the dance floor, Erin felt oddly confident. She imagined that somewhere from across the room Abby must be looking at her, undoubtedly in disapproval, but Erin couldn’t bring herself to care.

If she only had one night, she was going to make it count.

Leaning in and slowly pressing her own lips against those of her dance partner, Erin realized that apparently, tonight was a night for firsts. First party, first dance, first kiss…

Feeling the sensation of the blonde’s soft lips on her own, Erin couldn’t say she particularly minded, especially considering the woman actually responded to her.

She broke away after a few seconds, biting her lip and more than a little glad her mask was still in place. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled. “That was presumptuous.”

“That was wonderful.” Holtzmann replied, looking almost giddy, eyes twinkling behind her mask and lips parted in a blissful looking little grin. The princess hadn’t expected the redhead to kiss her, but she certainly wasn’t going to complain about it.

Her fingers moved against the taller woman’s neck, gently trailing over the soft skin there, as she pressed their lips together again. Holtzmann wasn’t used to having her affections returned, but the taste of wine on the redhead’s lips had been utterly intoxicating, and the princess wanted more.

She could feel the attention of the room on her as she kissed her partner. No one was supposed to know who she was – that had been the entire purpose of the masquerade - but the way her father was glaring sent ripples of conversation through the room.

“Isn’t that-”

“But she’s-”

“Improper in the worst way-”

Holtzmann ignored them all, focusing all of her attention on the beauty in her arms. She was still slowly twirling them, one arm snug around the other’s waist and the other hand gently cupping her cheek, thumb grazing the skin below the mask.

Erin, for her part, was blissfully oblivious to everything happening around her, feeling more at peace than she had in years. Perhaps that was because tonight, for all intents and purposes, she wasn’t Erin Gilbert, Ghost Girl. Tonight she could just be Erin, an average girl enjoying a much too extravagant party with the best possible company. 

As she felt the blonde’s thumb graze below her mask, however, she pulled back, reality slowly crashing in again. As wonderful as this was, it couldn’t last, and she knew this. Had known this when she started this. And as much as she wanted to stay a little longer, she couldn’t keep leading her partner on.

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled, looking away from the blonde. “I really should go…”

“No wait!” The words come out louder than she intends, her hands frozen on the woman. Was it because she’d kissed her? Was it because the redhead knew who she was? Erin had shown no signs of recognition, but clearly, Holtzmann must have done something to spook the woman.

 “I…please? Stay?” She added, looking at the redhead with pleading eyes. “If it’s because I’m… I’m sorry. Please just stay?”

Erin quickly shook her head, still not willing to look back up at the woman. “No, it’s not you. You have been wonderful, really, I just…”

With a small sigh, she locked eyes with her partner again. 

“I just really can’t stay. And I don’t want to lead you on because you have been nothing but amazing to me and you don’t deserve that from me and as much as I want to stay - and I do, I really do - I can’t. So you should, you know, probably find someone else to dance with…”

“Lead me on?” Holtzmann frowned as she tried desperately to understand what the other woman was on about. “How could you be leading me on? Don’t you like me?”

Erin shook her head in response. “No, that’s not it… Like I said, you’ve been nothing but wonderful to me. It’s just…”

“Just what?” Her voice was calm, soft, despite the fact that Holtzmann was incredibly determined to find out what could have scared the woman in her arms so much that she felt like she was leading her on. “Believe me when I say that the feeling is very much mutual. You’ve been an absolute dream; unlike anyone I’ve ever met. And I’d very much like to do this again, if you’ll permit me.”

Tears were pricking in Erin’s eyes now, and she tried her hardest to swallow those down. A dream? Her? More like a walking nightmare. A con-artist. A silly little girl who had the ridiculous notion that a pretty dress and a cardboard mask could hide the disappointment she really was.

“I want to…” She mumbled quietly, almost inaudible. “But I can’t. I’m not the person you think I am…”

“Isn’t that the whole point of a masquerade?” The blonde countered, raising a brow at the redhead – a gesture that went mostly lost because of the whole mask thing.

Sensing the redhead’s discomfort, Holtzmann gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind the other woman’s ear, softly smiling at her in the hopes of making her feel more at ease. Her eyes fell on the clock behind them, showing the time as one minute to midnight, and the blonde grinned.

“Besides, I doubt you’re worse than me. I’m a rule-breaking princess.” With all the grandeur and swagger Jillian Holtzmann normally embodies, she tugged the mask off her face just as the clock strikes midnight, grinning at the woman she’d spent all night dancing with.

Not that Erin noticed, at least not right away. When she heard the clock strike midnight, her eyes widened in shock.

Was it so late already?

Shoot.

Shoot, shoot, shoot! Abby was going to kill her.

Looking back over at her dance partner, she saw that the woman had removed her mask to reveal… oh no…

“I’m sorry!” Erin yelped, curtsying hurriedly as she backed away from the woman. “I- I’ve really got to go. I’m so sorry.”

Looking over at her dance partner - the princess, she had been dancing with the princess, of all people - one last time, she dashed off, one hand on her mask to keep it in place and the other hand holding up the skirt of her much too puffy dress. Maybe she should have thought this outfit through a little more beforehand.

Then again, Erin hadn’t anticipated to still be at the party at midnight. Or that she would have spent the night dancing with - and crushing on - the princess Jillian Holtzmann. pushing herself through the crowd and reaching the staircase, she nearly twisted her ankle in her heels. Kicking both shoes off, Erin began running faster, feet beating on the dirty ground as she ran home, not looking back even once.

As she ran away, Holtzmann could only stand there, staring after the redhead in shock. Well, wasn’t that girl just full of surprises… If she’d expected to finally properly meet the woman she’d spent her evening with, she’d been sorely disappointed, watching her back away with nothing but apologies.

Was the person she was really that bad?

Holtzmann decided she just had to find out. She wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight, but something about the redheaded girl had intrigued her. She couldn’t deny there had been some sort of connection between them, one which she was certain the other woman had felt to. She must have, or she probably wouldn’t have kissed her.

Having decided that, she quickly dashed off to follow the girl, glad her own outfit involved sensible flats instead of the ridiculous heels. But unfortunately, by then it seemed she’d waited too long, the young woman nowhere in sight.

Letting out a sigh of annoyance, Holtzmann flopped down on the steps of the palace, only for her eyes to fall on a pair of uncomfortable-looking heels.

Heels which happened to be the same shade of pink as the dress worn by her dance partner.

She suspected the woman had probably left those behind to make the running away bit easier, but she was grateful for it nonetheless. It would at least give her an excuse to find her again. After all, it was just polite to return lost items, wasn’t it?

Picking up the shoes with a beaming grin on her face, she retreated back to the palace, making the proper apologies – none – before heading to the stables. She saddled her father’s best stallion, hauled herself on top of him, and galloped out into the night. The sooner she left, the bigger her chances of still finding the woman.

And really, how far was she going to go without shoes?

(Not far, but Holtzmann didn’t know the specifics of that answer)

Erin, meanwhile, had arrived home, her feet covered in scrapes, dirt, and bruises. She all but immediately went up to her room, not even wanting to talk to her parents about what happened. Instead, she curled up under a pile of blankets and slept, having no desire to replay the blonde’s final disappointed look over and over in her mind.

“Erin! Erin! Wake up, lazybones!”

At the sound of her best friend’s voice, Erin groaned, pulling the covers further over her head. She didn’t quite want to deal with the world today. Or ever again, for that matter.

The princess. She had spent last night dancing with the princess.

Even worse, she had spent last night kissing the princess. She had been leading on the heiress to the throne, making her believe that she, Erin Gilbert, was ‘a dream’ rather than an unwanted village girl who really just wanted to go to a party for once in her life.

She was pretty sure she was going to throw up.

When she felt the covers being pulled off of her, Abby grinning that bright grin of hers, Erin could only glare.

“Guess what I heard at the market this morning?” 

“Abby, please. If it’s more gossip from Benny, tell me later. I’m not in the mood.” She grumbled, burying her face in her pillow.

“Oh, yes, I heard that too, but that’s not the point right now.” Abby replied, waving that off. “The princess…” She began slowly, trying to gauge Erin’s reaction at the mention of the woman she had spent the better part of last night dancing with.

To her credit, Erin only let out a muffled grumble, though that may have been because her pillow suppressed most of the noise.

“… is in the village. She’s searching for the, and I quote, ‘dream of a girl who was gracious enough to dance with me all evening’.

Erin slowly raised her head from her pillow, turning to look over at Abby who was still grinning at her.

“W- Why?” She stammered out. “Do they want to hang me? What could they possibly want with me? Is she crazy?!”

“No, no idea, and possibly, considering some of the stories I’ve heard.” Her friend replied. “Though I must say, everyone thought the king was going to have stroke right there on the spot when you two kissed, so he may want a word with you.”

Erin blushed bright red at the mention of the kiss, vividly recalling how right it had felt to have the blonde’s lips on hers.

This, of course, did not go unnoticed by Abby.

“Honestly, I think she just wants to properly thank you for the great time she’s had. And from the looks of it, the princess wasn’t the only one who had a good time.”

Still blushing, Erin nodded, desperate to tell her friend everything. Usually she wasn’t one to talk about herself, but last night had been amazing and she felt like she was about to burst if she couldn’t tell someone. After Abby gave her another knowing look, she sighed dreamily.

“Oh Abby, it was just wonderful.” She gushed, rolling onto her back and clutching her pillow to her chest.

“I had the best possible time. Everything was so beautiful; the dress, the palace, the people… I have never felt more like a princess in my life. And Jillian! Oh, she was so charming and gentle and kind and beautiful, and we danced for what felt like hours. It was as if nothing else in the world existed in that moment. For once in my life I wasn’t the Ghost Girl or the village freak, I was just Erin. And somehow, she made ‘just Erin’ feel like the most beautiful girl on Earth. I never wanted it to end…”

Erin swooned, turning her head to look over at her friend. Her smile was truly dazzling, and Erin wasn’t sure if she’d ever looked happier.

Abby seemed to notice that too, beaming at her friend in response.

“So you’re going to tell her, then?”

“God no!” Erin exclaimed, hitting her friend in the shoulder with the pillow. “‘Just Erin’ isn’t someone who actually exists, remember? I’m the Ghost Girl, professional village reject. Abby… If she knew who I was… It would break her heart…”

Despite Abby’s many protests – ‘if she’s looking for you then surely you must have left an impression, and just imagine if she actually likes you! You could be princess Erin Holtzmann!’ - Erin was adamant in not wanting to come forward. Someone else could have Jillian Holtzmann, someone more deserving of the woman, perhaps. Right now, the only memories she had of the woman were of one wonderful, glorious night that she knew she would never forget. She didn’t want to ruin that fairy tale by having Jillian laugh in her face when she saw who her dance partner really was. Erin didn’t think she could take that.

Instead, she handed Abby a letter of apology, as well as the mask she had worn the night before, and begged her friend to deliver it. “She has a right to know why I left, Abby, but I don’t want to see that look in her eyes again.”

Realizing there was no way Erin was going to change her mind, Abby just nodded, taking the letter and the mask from her friend with a sad smile. When Erin had her mind set on something, she could be stubborn as a mule, but Abby did feel sorry for her friend. She wasn’t really one to believe in love at first sight, but she had seen the two dancing at the ball yesterday. The way they looked at each other… There was something there, she just knew it.

But Erin was her friend, and she wasn’t about to betray her trust, so Abby did as she was told.

It didn’t take her long to find the recipient of her friend’s letter. After all, when a princess came to town - no matter how messy looking - people took notice. And while she though Erin was being an idiot, she understood her friend’s fears, hence why she didn’t try and argue with the princess, either.

She simply slumped down in a seat opposite Jillian Holtzmann, who looked like an absolute mess. The blonde had ridden all night, only to crash at a tavern in the nearest village to the palace. She hadn’t wanted to go home yet, not when her ‘reckless behaviour’, as her father would surely put it, had given her absolutely nothing to show for.

She had to admit, she was a little annoyed when she first saw the villager take a seat across from her. She looked innocent enough, sure, but for all she knew it was another girl claiming to be the person she danced with last night.

As if Holtzmann was an idiot. As if Holtzmann wouldn’t remember exactly what her dance partner had looked like.

The look of annoyance quickly turned to one of surprise, however, when the young woman handed her something.

“A friend of mine wanted me to give you this.” Abby said, handing the princess the letter and the mask Erin had given her. “Figured you may want to read it.”

Holtzmann was stunned into silence as she took the items from Abby, recognizing the white mask that had covered the top half of her partner’s face almost immediately.

It was from her. She was real.

Carefully placing the mask on the table, she folded the letter open, her mouth still slightly agape as she began to read.

Dear Jillian,

I apologize for leaving so abruptly last night. I need you to know it had nothing to do with you, and that I am the one at fault here. I shouldn’t have even been there, let alone ended up wasting your time like that.

You see, I had never been to a party before yesterday. I’m not exactly the most admired girl in town, and inviting me anywhere is a social death sentence, apparently. Having not been invited, I had no plans of attending the ball initially. However, my dear friend Abby (the girl who delivered this letter to you) smuggled me in as her plus one. Seeing how it was a masquerade, I imagined that I could just be me for one night without anyone laughing at me. The plan was to sneak back out before the masks came off at midnight - If anyone recognized me, and knew Abby had been the one to get me in, she would have been ostracized from society. I couldn’t be the cause of that.

But then I met you, and oh Jillian, believe me when I say you showed me the most amazing night of my life. Being at a party, wearing that dress, feeling like a person for once, that was magic to me, but meeting you… Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that. You showed me such kindness, such love, I couldn’t help but fall for you. You made me feel so special, and dancing with you was like a dream I never wanted to wake up from. I only wish I could show you this same kindness in return. Instead, all I have is a letter, a mask, and a lot of apologies.

Last night was the happiest night of my life, and I want you to know I have no regrets about any of it. Especially the kiss. You gave me a memory I will treasure forever. All I regret is that I knew then, and still know now, I could never give you the same in return. And that hurts me more than words can say.

Know that I am truly, deeply sorry for making you believe I was more than I am. I should never even have attended, and I could not be more sorry for any pain I may have caused you or anyone else. I feel terrible about what I’ve done, so please; don’t look for me. You deserve someone wonderful, Jillian. Someone who can make you as happy as you made me, someone who isn’t some poor excuse of a village girl nobody wanted. I don’t want my last memory of us to be of you looking upon me with shame and disgust when you realize I’m not the dream you thought me to be.

Find your fairy tale ending, Jillian. Be happy. You deserve it. All I ask is that you let me have my fairytale memory of the beautiful woman who made me feel like a princess for one night of her life. Know how special this was to me, and know I will never forget it.

Yours always,

Erin

Was she crying? Holtzmann was certain she actually felt a few tears prick in her eyes once she finished reading, something she quickly blamed on exhaustion. She had been up all night, after all; of course her body was going to react to that.

Clearing her throat a bit more loudly than probably appropriate, hoping to compose herself, she looked up at the woman sitting across from her – Abby, she remembered her name was.

Erin’s friend.

“You’re Abby, right?” When the young woman nodded, Holtzmann sighed in relief, feeling hopeful for the first time since last night. “And you know Erin? You know where to find her?”

Another nod, and Holtzmann felt her heart begin to race faster. She could find her, still. She could talk to her, she could see her again, she could-

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to talk to you, though.” Abby continued, and Holtzmann’s heart sank again.

Right. There was that.

“Abby, please…” She began, looking at the woman with pleading eyes. “Take me to her. Let me talk to her. If she doesn’t want me, fine, but at least give me a chance.”

Realizing something else, she wills a small and innocent smile to appear in her face. “I still have her shoes? At least let me return those.”

Abby frowned, clearly in doubt over what to do. On one hand; this was her future ruler speaking to her. On the other hand, Erin was her best friend, and she was putting her faith in Abby. She knew how much last night had meant to the redhead, though. She had seen how happy the young woman had been. And above all, Abby wanted to see Erin happy.

So she nodded. 

“Just between you and me; take good care of my girl, okay? You may be my future ruler, but I won’t hesitate to hurt you if you break her heart.”

Holtzmann’s grin nearly split her face in two, the blonde tossing a royal handful of silver on the table before grabbing Abby’s hand and all but dragging her out of the tavern, much too excited to care for proper decorum.

Erin. She was going to see Erin. The woman she liked. The woman who clearly liked her too, if that letter was any indication. And even if their conversation didn’t work out, at least Holtzmann would know she tried everything.

The blonde had always been determined like that. 

Erin, meanwhile, had decided to stay home. She had finally had to come clean to her parents about where she had been last night - and with whom - and explained why her feet were covered in small cuts.

(Because ‘really, Erin, I thought you were wearing shoes when you went to the ball?’)

Luckily, her parents seemed to respect their daughter’s wish not to want to seek the princess out. Whether that was because her parents loved her or because they didn’t want their daughter involved in even more scandal, Erin didn’t know, but she was glad for their decision nonetheless. Right now, in this moment, she could still pretend it had all just been the sweetest dream, and she revelled in the knowledge that nothing and no one could take that away from her.

Humming some of the music she and Jillian had danced to that night, she danced through the garden as she was doing her chores. Part of her wondered what Jillian was doing now. Had she gotten Erin’s letter? Had the blonde forgiven her for her terrible behaviour?

For the most part, however, her mind was blissfully focused on the many dances the two had shared, not even the ‘ghost girl’ chants from across the street being able to break her out of her reverie.

Those chants fell silent as the princess came galloping down the lane, Abby behind her looking a little nauseous from the ride. The horse came to a rearing stop, dumping Abby off and throwing Holtzmann over the wall of the garden, the animal clearly none too pleased with how he had been treated that night.

Not that Holtzmann could blame him, of course. Still, it hadn’t been the graceful entry she’d hoped for, landing with a thump on the grass about 10 feet away from Erin.

The ‘thump’ had clearly startled the redhead, but the young woman made no move to look around and identify its source. Erin just assumed that the neighbourhood kids had taken to throwing actual sticks and stones again.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Not wanting to let that deter her, she didn’t turn in the direction of the noise, instead choosing to keep humming as she folded the last of the laundry in the hamper, Holtzmann watching her with a mixture of amusement and adoration.

Gods, she was even more adorable in daylight.

Scrambling up from the ground, glad Erin hadn’t seen her less-than-graceful entrance, she dusted herself off, trying to look the tiniest bit more presentable before speaking.

“Hey there, dreamgirl.”

The familiar voice was more than enough to make the redhead freeze in shock. 

“Jillian…”

The name was uttered as little more than a breath escaping her lips, her heart skipping multiple beats as she felt her stomach flip. Dozens of questions raced through her head. How had she found her? Had she read her letter? Was she here to arrest Erin for trespassing in the palace?

“I prefer Holtzmann, actually.” The blonde replied, rummaging in her bag to take out the shoes Erin had left behind the night before. An excuse, should Erin not really want to talk to her after all.

A likely prospect, considering Erin still hadn’t turned around to look at her.

Of course, Erin’s real reason for not turning around was her intense lack of desire to see the blonde’s disappointed face. Because seeing Erin like this, seeing her like the common and unwanted villages she was, it would undoubtedly make the woman hate her even more than she already did. Still, she knew she had to face the music (ha! Good one, Erin) at some point. Everyone always said it was best to just rip off the bandage  and get it over with, as it were. It was time for the redhead to woman up.

When she finally laid eyes on the princess - and shoot, she was standing in front of the princess, best curtsy quick and re-address her as ‘your highness’ -  the first thing Erin noticed were her eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes that sparkled with determination, and she felt herself get lost in them all over again. Which was Bad, for so many reasons.

The second thing she noticed were her shoes.

Oh. Right.

She vaguely remembered kicking those off while she was running for her life last night. And maybe that was just all there was to this visit. Maybe Holtzmann- the princess just wanted to return her shoes.

“Thank you…” She stammered out, trembling hands reaching out to take the heels back from the blonde. She didn’t dare to ask if that was the only reason the blonde had come to see her, not wanting to be the one to remind the princess of her improper behaviour at the ball the previous night.

She didn’t have to wait long for the princess to speak, though. Despite being covered in dirt, smudges on her cheeks and hair a mess, the blonde looked oddly determined, and Erin felt herself shrink under her intense gaze.

“A word if I may, Erin?”

The redhead nodded wordlessly, trying not to think too much about the possible implications of that statement. After all, ‘a word’ sounded much more serious than just a lecture on not leaving your shoes on other people’s palace steps. ‘A word’ sounded more like a lecture on how not to treat royalty. And if that was going to be the lecture she was going to get, Erin wasn’t about to make a worse impression by saying ‘no’ to the request.

It turned out she needn’t have worried though, Holtzmann smiling at her as she took a few steps forward.

“I read your letter.” She began, closing the distance between her and Erin even further. “It was quite beautifully written, but I have to say there’s some serious errors in it. For one, I’m a little insulted you’d think I’d be appalled by a little party-crashing.”

Erin bit her lip at that, avoiding the blonde’s gaze as she looked down at her bare feet, not quite sure how to answer that. Holtzmann took that as a sign to continue, her tone turning from playful to serious.

“I’ve seen you yesterday, Erin. You, not whoever the people here make you out to be. And do you know what I saw?”

She gently placed her hand under Erin’s chin, tilting the redhead’s head up to look her in the eye.

“A beautiful, brilliant young woman, a vision in pink, who stepped straight out of a dream and stole my heart with her words and killer dance moves.”

“I really think you’re mistaken…” Erin began, shaking her head at the blonde. “Surely you heard what they call me here. I’m the professional village joke.”

Part of her wanted to be happy Jillian was here, that Jillian wanted her. Hadn’t that been what she had secretly dreamed of? But the guilt she felt churning in her stomach overtook that feeling of happiness, and all Erin could feel was shame. Shame at leading the woman on, shame at apparently making the princess believe that she was anyone’s happy ending, let alone hers. 

Realizing she was at the beginning of a rant, she quickly forced herself to shut up, looking back down at her feet instead. “I’m sorry, your highness. I mean no offense… But I’m not the dream you’re looking for.”

Holtzmann merely raised a brow at Erin, the redhead’s insecurities painfully apparent to her. Not for the first time, she cursed her status as royalty, knowing that this played a major role in the other woman’s belief that she wasn’t worthy of Holtzmann’s affections.

Still, she wasn’t just going to give up on Erin. Holtzmann knew Erin’s feelings for her weren’t the issue here, and she was determined to make the woman see just how much she meant to her.

“Okay first of all; none of that ‘Your Highness’ stuff.” Holtzmann began, waving the title away. “Call me Holtzmann. Or Holtz, if you’re feeling adventurous.” She shot Erin a wink at that, before continuing. “Secondly; yes, I did hear that. But I’ve never been one to follow the opinion of the masses. Call me unconventional, but I like to make my own assessments of people.”

Erin shot her an uncertain smile at that, a little confused still as to where the blonde was headed with this – and if she was, in fact, crazy. After all, here she was, somehow trying to court Erin. Surely that spoke of a degree of brain damage.

“I doubt your assessment will be much different from theirs…”

“And that’s where we disagree.” Holtzmann countered, a small smile on her face as she realized that she might actually end up getting through to Erin. “You see, I made my initial assessment of you last night, and decided that was reason enough for me to ride all night just to see you again. That’s not something I just do for any girl, you know?”

Another wink, one that made Erin weak in the knees despite her current worries. After all, Holtzmann was undoubtedly about to mock her and tell her how her initial assessment had proven to be way off, the Erin she saw now not even remotely close to what she had thought Erin to be last night. And having ridden all night, just for Erin… The redhead felt absolutely horrible for putting the princess through that.

Sensing her insecurities, Holtzmann grinned at her, hoping to calm the other woman’s mind.

“Speaking of- I probably should have looked in this village first, shouldn’t I?”

“Well, I wasn’t wearing shoes… I wasn’t exactly going to go very far…” Erin replied hesitantly, making Holtzmann chuckle.

“Like I said; pretty and clever. That assessment of you hasn’t changed. If anything, seeing you today has only solidified that. You’re really rocking that dress there, dreamgirl.”

Erin raised a brow at that. “It’s 5 years old and basically falling apart.” She countered dryly, now knowing Holtzmann couldn’t be serious with her.

“Vintage; I love it.” The blonde smirked, thoroughly amused by the redhead’s response.

That elicited a small chuckle from Erin. Despite her reservations, she did feel comfortable around the blonde. There was something about Holtzmann’s presence, her swagger, and her general ‘devil may care’ attitude that made Erin feel oddly at ease around her – even if she did still feel like she was just wasting the other woman’s time here.

Glad to have at least made Erin laugh a little – and really, Holtzmann swore that smile could make flowers grow – she turned a little more serious again. “Look, Erin…” She began, her blue eyes locking with the redhead’s green ones. “If you don’t want me here, you can just say the word. Tell me to go, and I’ll go; I’m not the type to push people into something they don’t want. But if you meant what you said in that letter… If you really want to be with me, if you want to be my happy ending… Why not give me a chance to be yours?”

Erin didn’t immediately have a response to that. Or maybe she just had too many responses to that, she wasn’t sure. There were so many reasons why Holtzmann and her wouldn’t work out, and though most of them stemmed from her own insecurities, there was one painfully obvious reason they could never work.

“You’re the princess.” Erin’s voices sounded pained, as if the knowledge was something Holtzmann should have taken into account before she got here. As if it was somehow Holtzmann’s fault that their status difference existed. “It’s improper.”

Holtzmann, however, didn’t appear to share Erin’s concerns, clicking her tongue with a light chuckle. “Proper is overrated, anyway. Just call me a rebel with a cause.”

Erin frowned at that, not entirely sure how to respond to that. Didn’t Holtzmann care? Was she really as crazy as people claimed? She could be disowned for this, she could be publicly ridiculed alongside Erin. Did that really not matter to her?

“What would that cause be?” Erin ended up asking, for a lack of a better response.

“You.”

It was cheesy. It was cliché. It was straight out of one of those romance stories Erin had always loved. And by god, it was doing all the right things for her, making her stomach flutter and her eyes light up despite her doubts. It was a good look on her, Holtzmann had to admit, and she herself dared another smile at her.

“At least do me the honour of another dance.” The blonde offered, holding out her hand to Erin, who was looking more confused by the second.

Adorable.

“There’s no music here…” Erin replied hesitantly, which had Holtzmann chuckle in response.

“Again; I’m unconventional.” Still holding out her hand to Erin, the blonde raised a questioning brow. “Please?”

Erin thought it over for another few seconds, before placing her shoes next to her on the grass. “I’d love that.”

 She smiled at Holtzmann, taking her hand and feeling her heart skip a beat as Holtzmann pulled her closer, placing her hand on her waist as she did. Placing her own hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder, the blonde smiled at Erin as she slowly began spinning them around, quietly humming a tune under her breath.

With her other hand intertwined with Holtzmann’s, the blonde leading them though another dance, Erin was transported back to last night, and she felt herself smile at the memories. Of course, with the grass tickling her bare feet, the knowledge she was wearing a much simpler dress than last night, and without the masks hiding their respective identities, she knew this dance was nothing like the ones they had shared at the ball the night before. 

But somehow, it was infinitely better.

It wasn’t string quartets and fancy foods and marble rooms, it was makeshift tunes and careful touches and just so incredibly them that Erin wouldn’t want to change it for the world. As she allowed Holtzmann to lead her, spinning them through the garden, Erin began to realize something.

This thing she was feeling… The warmth that was blooming in her chest, the happiness she felt whenever she was thinking about the blonde… It could very well be love.

And if this was what love felt like, Erin decided she rather liked it.

Part of her was tempted to lean in, to just lose herself in this sensation, when her eyes met Holtzmann’s. She could see the same look of amusement and adoration as she had been witness to last night, the same look that had made her forget about the world around them. However, this time it also held a certain level of hesitation. As if the princess was somehow unsure of Erin’s feelings for her.

Not that that surprised Erin. After all, she still hadn’t really given the blonde an answer, still too overtaken by her own anxieties. But this… this felt right. And if Erin was being honest, she kind of wanted this to last.

Still, the status difference was making her hesitate. There was still the slightest possibility that the princess didn’t want her after all, and Erin did not feel like getting another terrible reputation in this town. So instead of moving in to kiss the other woman, she paused. 

“Is this… I mean, could I…”

“Whenever you want, dreamgirl.” Holtzmann grinned, seemingly realizing what Erin was thinking, before Erin closed the gap between them.

Kissing Holtzmann was somehow even more wonderful than she remembered. Wrapping her arms around the other woman’s neck she pressed her body closer to hers, deepening the kiss best she could. 

When they finally broke apart, Erin’s smile was dazzling. Because Jillian Holtzmann wanted her. The brilliant woman who had shown Erin the best night of her life wanted her. Her, the ghost girl and social outcast, was Jillian Holtzmann’s dream. Even with the princess - the actual princess - still in her arms, Erin still couldn’t quite believe this was happening.

Holtzmann’s own smile was possibly even brighter than Erin’s, the blonde resting her forehead against the redhead’s as she lightly squeezed her hand.

“I’m guessing that’s a ‘yes’ to the ‘wanting to be with me’ question?” She asked, trying her best to hide her own insecurities in her voice.

Erin nodded enthusiastically in response, biting her lip to keep herself from grinning too much.

“Good.” Holtzmann grinned, pulling Erin in for another kiss. Something else seemed to spring to mind, however, as Holtzmann pulled back not 5 seconds later.

“Wait, just checking; this isn’t a princess thing, right? You’re not just saying that because I could theoretically have you executed if you say no, right? Because I don’t want you to be with me because you feel like you have to be. I want to be your dream too, Erin. I want to be who you want as well, and if I’m not…” She let out a low chuckle. “Well, I’d rather you tell me. I don’t think I can handle this being a one-sided thing.”

“It’s definitely not one-sided.” Erin responded almost immediately, cupping the blonde’s face in her hands. “I meant what I said in that letter. I love you. I don’t want you for your title or your wealth or even your name, Holtzmann. I want you for you. I want you because you kissed my hand and asked me to dance. I want you because you made me feel more beautiful than I had ever felt. I want you because when you kissed me last night you made me feel like nothing else mattered. I want you because you, for some reason, never gave up on me.” 

Her hand, which had come to rest at the nape of the blonde’s neck, gently came up to brush a few stray curls from Jillian’s face. “I want you because you saw me. Not the loyal subject or Ghost Girl or village freak, but me. Just Erin. And because you made me feel like being ‘just Erin’ was somehow enough.”

If asked, Holtzmann would never admit how much Erin’s words meant to her, how much they made her heart sing and her soul take flight. It was simply too cliché, too sappy and romantic. She had a reputation to uphold, dammit. But the way Erin was looking at her made her feel all sorts of happiness, all sorts of feelings she usually wasn’t too familiar with. And she found that she didn’t even particularly mind that.

“You’re so much more than just Erin though…” Seeing Erin’s disbelieving little headshake, Holtzmann grinned at her, pressing a soft kiss to her nose. “And one day, I’m actually gonna make you believe that, dreamgirl.”

“I look forward to it.” Erin chuckled, completely lost in the love that washes over her.

With the two having forgone their humming to talk, the music was now only in their minds, but neither woman seemed to notice. Completely lost in each other, they spun around the garden, exchanging silent kisses and small compliments.

When Jillian finally halted them, pulling back ever so slightly, Erin felt herself being pulled back to reality. Dancing with Jillian was like a dream, no matter the context, but people had to wake up from even the happiest of dreams. 

They stayed like that for a while, until Holtzmann finally broke the silence.

“Not that I’d mind staying in this garden with you all day – in fact, I highly encourage it – but I do actually have to head back home at some point. Would you… Mind coming with me?”

It was probably a lot to ask of Erin, Holtzmann knew this. Going to the palace with Holtzmann meant facing her father. The King. And while Holtzmann wasn’t about to let her father ruin this relationship for her, she could imagine Erin being a little more apprehensive at the thought of opposing royalty.

“If you don’t want to go with me, I can come back in the morning. I realize you may not want to meet with Father.”

Erin all but immediately shook her head. “If you want me there, of course I’ll join you.”

Giving the blonde a reassuring smile, Erin couldn’t deny the prospect of meeting the King scared her. Here she was, an ordinary village girl who had broken every rule in the book and fallen head over heels in love with the crown princess. And even worse - or, better, depending whose viewpoint you preferred - the princess seemed to love her in return. She knew full well what this could mean to Holtzmann, and she also knew that if the King was determined enough, Erin wouldn’t exactly remain in the clear either. 

But having Holtzmann here, knowing what she knew now, Erin couldn’t bring herself to care too much about that. The blonde was everything Erin never even dreamed she’d have, and she was becoming more and more willing to actually fight for that with each passing moment.

Squeezing her hand, letting her know she was ready to go, Erin tried to suppress the nausea she was currently feeling. She should be brave; she had to be. And with Holtzmann beside her, she knew she could be.