Work Text:
Out of all the stars in the sky, I chose you.
Hello 520% Radio, hello everyone. I’m one of the many people who admires Star 520. I think everyone is already familiar with him, right? The Star 520 that people always talk about, the one who naturally catches everyone’s attention without even trying.
I still remember the first time I met him. He was pretty quiet and didn’t talk much, but whenever he spoke, I found him unbelievably cute. There was something comforting about the way he talked, the way he reacted to little things, making jokes, caring to others and without realizing it, my feelings started to grow on their own. At first, I thought it was just admiration, but slowly, those feelings became something much bigger than I expected. I was falling before I even realized it.
If I’m being honest, I think I’ve loved you for a very long time more than I thought or I do, but it was hard for me to admit it. I was scared that the moment I confessed, you would slowly drift away from me. I was scared that trying to tighten the bond between us would only end up breaking it apart. I discovered these feelings by myself. No one told me that I liked you. No one needed to make me realize it either. Then one day, I finally understood it clearly: You became the meaning behind every cloud I’ve ever seen, and somehow, deep inside, I’m sure it has always been you.
And to you, I’m sorry if I ever did something wrong while being by your side, if I ever made you upset or mad. You know that everything I did came from how much I cared about you, right? I just never wanted to see you sad or down. Sometimes, loving someone too much makes a person overly sensitive, overly protective, and overly afraid of losing them. And in the end, without even realizing it, that fear turns into mistakes that unintentionally hurt the person you were only trying to love carefully in the first place..
Even saying this here terrifies me. But my friends told me there’s nothing wrong with being honest about love. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know how deeply they matter to you.
I never felt like this before. After I try to find what is the meaning of that in my very young age, spent my whole life chasing what people call true love, and somehow, every road led me back to you. Even if one day this world disappears, even if time keeps passing through countless springs and winters, my heart will always bloom again for you.
Because even after everything.. it’s still you. I don’t know how this story will end. I don’t know if we’ll eventually become something more, or if we’ll simply remain a beautiful memory in each other’s lives. But every time I think about you, one thought always comes back to me: You’re the kind of happiness that makes me smile without realizing it. The kind of person I want to keep circling back to, over and over again, until our arms naturally find comfort in each other.
And at the very least, I want you to know this, during one of the darkest times in my life, you became my light. It sounds cliché, but I genuinely can’t explain it any other way. You’re my dopamine. There has never been a single second where I didn’t like you.
I love you to the point where I feel like I would do anything for you, even if the whole world was falling apart around us. And as long as we’re still standing beside each other like this, I’ll continue loving you just as much as I do now.
For my Star 520, thank you for be here, in my life!
“That… was quite a long and deep reading for today. Wow… now I’m really curious about who sent today’s letter.”
“I think this person has been holding the feelings for a really long time, hyung. And talking about Star 520… Do you think this person has liked it for, like, two or three years already?”
“Oh! Right! That can be too! I think Star 520 would really appreciate whoever wrote this letter.”
“I also hope the sender can meet the crush and have a great happy ending!! It's incredible because the letter is for Star 520 and our Radio is 520 too!”
“Oh? What?! I just realized that! Is this connected to each other? Anyway, Gyuvin, what do you think about the letter?”
Gyuvin blinked for a moment, thinking carefully before answering the question. “I think… You can really feel how deep the sender’s emotions are. Like I said before, this person probably has liked them for a really long time.”
Hanbin let out a small laugh before quickly composing himself again. “If you're one of Star 520's closest friends, what do you think, Gyuvin?”
“About what?”
“The person getting a confession letter.” Hanbin asked. With a smile and a tilted head, making Gyuvin stared at him sceptical.
“I don’t think they would make a huge deal out of it,” Gyuvin said with a shrug. “Like, definitely feel grateful after hearing something this sincere, but… Or maybe just let it pass naturally? I don’t think Star 520 is really interested in getting involved with romance right now—If! Star 520 is my friend.”
A few strange noises immediately came from the older making Gyuvin kick at someone’s ankle under the table right away.
“Anyway!” he quickly cut in. “What do you guys think about it? Also… This is officially our last letter for Star 520 at 520% Radio. For everyone else who sent letters today, like always, we’ve uploaded them to our website and tagged the people you mentioned!”
“That’s right! It’s honestly sad that we have to end the channel here after almost four years past… You guys are going to miss us a lot, right? Please say yes to me! Especially because Gyuvin is graduating soon, and I can’t stay on the channel permanently either. So with heavy hearts, we decided it was time to close this chapter.”
“Oh no~~ We really hope all of you enjoyed everything we’ve done over the past four years!”
“And we’re also sorry if we made a lot of mistakes along the way. Please take care of your health, everyone. We sincerely wish the best for all of our listeners. I’m Sung Hanbin—”
“And I’m Kim Gyuvin! Goodbye!”
The small red light above the recording room finally turned off, signaling the end of the broadcast. For the first time in the past hour, the studio fell completely quiet. No background music last longer like before, no playful teasing from the staff behind the glass window, the last episode they've been decided to do it alone.
Gyuvin slowly pulled down his headphones, letting them rest at the table, while Hanbin leaned back against his chair with a long breath amf stretch his body. The atmosphere inside the booth felt strangely heavy now that the show had officially ended. Three years or more of evening broadcasts, random laughter, exhausted schedules, shared meals between recordings, and countless stories from listeners—everything had just come to an end within a few simple goodbye sentences.
Yet somehow, out of everything they had done tonight, Hanbin could only think about one thing.
The letter.
“You actually read the letter.” Hanbin muttered quietly, still sounding a little disbelieving. Gyuvin looked down at their last script papers scattered across the desk before smiling faintly to himself.
“I told you, hyung,” he said. “I was going to read it when we were about to finish.”
“When we finished,” Hanbin corrected immediately, pointing at him with a tired laugh. “Kim Gyuvin, you really are something else.”
His voice slowly trailed off as he stared at the younger man sitting beside him. Maybe other people would not notice it, but Hanbin did. He noticed the way Gyuvin’s voice subtly changed while reading the letter, it's different from the usually. Hanbin had known Gyuvin for years. Long enough to understand that Kim Gyuvin was someone who openly exposed his feelings.
And this was different.
Hanbin leaned his elbow against the table before speaking again, quieter this time. “Ah…” he sighed softly. “You really love him, don’t you?”
There was no hesitation at all and Gyuvin nodded immediately, as if the answer had already lived inside him for far too long to be denied now. “If it’s Ricky…” He smiled faintly, exhaustion and affection mixing together in his expression. “I’ll be okay.”
Hanbin blinked slowly, for a moment, he did not know what to say. The way Gyuvin always unconsciously brought Ricky into conversations, noticing even the smallest details about him without realizing it himself. The way his mood could improve instantly just because Ricky texted him back. The way he quietly listened whenever Ricky talked, even during moments when nobody else paid attention anymore and bluntly say Ricky is so handsome.
And maybe the most obvious thing of all is the way Gyuvin looked at him. Hanbin had seen Gyuvin liking someone before, but Gyuvin’s feelings felt frighteningly sincere. Not loud, not dramatic, not impulsive. Just… steady. Deep enough that it had quietly rooted itself inside him for years.
520% Radio was made by the base idea of Gyuvin and Hanbin came along because need it for his project and graduated immediately. Gyuvin told everything except the one he said about he liked Shen Ricky and it was for Ricky back then, and after Hanbin graduated, he told him about his feelings and why the channel name is 520%—520 is expressing a love word like 143.
I love you.
Hanbin finally let out a small laugh before reaching over to pat the younger man’s shoulder. “I’m honestly impressed by you,” he admitted. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? You’ve liked him for that long.”
Gyuvin lowered his eyes toward the desk. His fingers lightly played with the edge of the script paper while a quiet smile slowly formed on his face.
“I think so..” he answered.
“But I’ve seriously never seen you like this before,” Hanbin continued. “Not once.”
Gyuvin stayed silent for a few seconds. Outside the studio window, they can see some of their friends come. Someone laughed loudly in the distance, while another person carried food,ready to make a small party. The familiar atmosphere that once felt permanent now looked like something temporary, already fading away right in front of them.
“Star 520. Because it’s him.” His voice was quiet, almost swallowed by the empty studio itself. “Everything feels different when it’s about Ricky.”
And somehow, in that moment, Hanbin realized that maybe the letter they read tonight was never the only confession inside the room. Hanbin stared at Gyuvin for a few more seconds after that. Then suddenly, he laughed, the kind of laugh someone lets out when they finally understand something that had been sitting in front of them the entire time.
“Kim Gyuvin,” he muttered while shaking his head slowly. “You’re seriously insane.”
Outside the recording booth, the staff members had already started gathering around the small table near the hallway. Someone brought fried chicken, someone else carried a cake with messy writing on top that read: Thank you for 4 years, 520% Radio! There were cans of soda scattered everywhere, plastic cups, half-open snack bags, and tangled cables still lying across the floor because nobody had the energy to clean everything properly tonight.
Hanbin leaned back in his chair again before glancing toward the large glass window in front of them. The ON AIR sign was already dark now. After years of constantly glowing red every evening, the empty sign somehow looked unfamiliar.
“Do you remember when you first asked me to do this with you?” Hanbin suddenly asked.
Gyuvin chuckled, “You rejected me three times.”
“I do like your idea, but your recommendations for the channel name sounded ridiculous!” Hanbin defended himself immediately. “Like, who names a radio channel 520%? It sounded like some weird couple channel.”
Gyuvin laughed softly this time, lowering his head slightly. Back then, Hanbin truly did not understand.
520%.
At first, he thought it was just a random thing Gyuvin came up with because it sounded memorable enough for listeners. And honestly, Gyuvin never bothered explaining it either because whenever people asked, he would simply say it meant giving “more than 100% happiness from love” to listeners.
A stupid excuse that Hanbin let it go. It's still cringe.
Until much later. Much, much later after Hanbin graduated, he remembered visiting the campus one evening because Gyuvin asked him to stop by. The younger man had bought drinks for both of them, and they sat together outside the broadcasting building while talking about random things.
“Hyung,” Gyuvin called quietly back then. “Actually... Do you already know why 520?”
Hanbin remembered blinking in confusion. “Uh? No? What's that? Isn't it just a regular percentage?”
Gyuvin laughed so hard at that answer that he nearly dropped his drink. “No,” he said between laughs. “In Chinese, 520 sounds similar to ‘I love you'. And 520% was like a max of love that I would give to you,”
Hanbin kept in silence for a moment before slowly turning to look at him. Pointing himself makes Gyuvin look at him disgust.
“Ricky’s birthday is May 20th,” Gyuvin added afterward, much quieter this time.
May 20th. beside 520 is Ricky's birthday, May 20th—in Chinese, is to express I love you.
Hanbin remembered staring at him in complete disbelief while Gyuvin smiled into his drink.
“520% Radio because of him,” Gyuvin admitted that night. “I just… wanted to make something that could stay beside him for a long time.”
Hanbin had no words. And honestly, he still did not know what to say even now, who in the world quietly built an entire radio channel around their feelings for someone?
One of them is Kim Gyuvin. Obvi.
Hanbin rubbed his face tiredly under his breath. “It's fascinating because from the very beginning you were already in love.”
Gyuvin stayed quiet for a moment. Then he nodded.
“I think I was.”
The younger man looked toward the microphone in front of him. The same microphone he had used for years. The same place where he talked to thousands of listeners every night while hiding feelings that apparently everyone except Ricky seemed to notice.
“It’s funny, honestly," Gyuvin said with a small smile. “All of this happened for my greed, and I was only able to keep doing it because somewhere in my head, I liked the idea that Ricky might be listening too.”
The room fell quiet again after that. Outside, they suddenly started yelling for them to hurry up and come eat before the food got cold. Hanbin immediately yelled back, “STOP EATING WITHOUT US!”
A loud chorus of complaints instantly echoed through the hallway. Gyuvin laughed under his breath, the sound softer now compared to earlier. Lighter.
Hanbin looked at him again after that. “Are you even gonna tell him?”
Gyuvin walked home slowly that night. The streets were much quieter than usual, almost empty except for a few passing cars and the distant sound of motorcycles disappearing into the cold evening air. The city lights reflected faintly against the damp pavement, and for the first time in a long while, everything around him felt strangely unreal.
Weeks ago, 520% Radio had officially ended after years. He should have felt sadder about it. Maybe emotional enough to cry like some of the staff members that were actually his friends. But, the thing occupying his mind the most right now was not the radio itself, more specifically ‘The letter'.
Even now, Gyuvin could still remember how his hands subtly trembled while holding the paper. The way his heartbeat nearly became impossible to control halfway through reading it aloud. The way every sentence sounded embarrassingly honest once spoken directly into the microphone.
He had done it anyway.
Now that it was over relief slowly settled inside him, but at the same time, the nervousness became worse even after a week. Gyuvin let out a long breath before shoving both hands deeper into the pockets of his hoodie. His phone remained untouched inside his bag, completely buried under the mess of scripts and headphones. The moment he stepped out of the station earlier, he refused to even look at whatever notifications were probably flooding his screen right now.
Honestly, he did not know what he wanted more right now. For Ricky to notice it? Or for Ricky to never realize it was him at all. Gyuvin lowered his gaze toward the ground while quietly laughing to himself.
Pathetic.
After loving someone for this long, he still became this cowardly in the end.
But his feelings for Ricky had always been like that. Existing far longer than he himself fully understood. Longer than he realized, than he allowed himself to admit. At some point, Ricky had simply become part of his life so naturally that Gyuvin no longer knew how to separate his feelings from his everyday routine. The person he searched for first in crowded rooms. The name he unconsciously brought up in conversations. The presence that made exhausting days feel lighter without trying.
Everything always led back to him somehow.
And maybe that was why Gyuvin never truly regretted falling this deeply. Because if it was Ricky, then everything would be okay.
Even if the ending hurt.
Even if Ricky never returned his feelings.
Even if this confession eventually disappeared like another late-night radio story buried by time.
It was still Ricky.
And loving him had never once felt like something Gyuvin wanted to take back.
Did it sound too much?
His steps slowly came to a stop when his phone suddenly vibrated inside his bag. For a few seconds he simply stared at his pants, his hand touching on the fabric where the phone behind it like it had personally betrayed him. His friends probably already figured it out, or maybe not? Slowly, Gyuvin pulled his phone out. The lockscreen immediately lit up brightly in the middle of the quiet street, almost every notification displayed the exact same name. my rwick—Ricky.
By the way.. Gyuvin avoided Ricky for weeks after that.
Nine.
Whole.
Days.
He ignored messages, avoided familiar routes around campus, ate lunch at different places, and buried himself completely in his research work like his life depended on it. Maybe it did.
Usually Ricky would sulk at him back, but Ricky didn't this time. How Gyuvin know? Because that guy still chat him.
Gyuvin did read it from his notifications.
It's cute.
Also embarrassing (out of nowhere) every single time he remembered those messages, his brain immediately short-circuited again. He ran away. Very badly too.
“You’re acting weird,” Gunwook said earlier that morning.
“I’m always weird.”
“You're fucking weird.”
Gyuvin immediately shoved another paper into Gunwook’s hands to stop the conversation. Now, he was hiding inside one of the research rooms while aggressively cutting printed papers with a cutter knife like someone going through emotional warfare.
“Gyuvin,” one of the students suddenly called from outside the room. “Someone’s looking for you.”
Without even lifting his head, Gyuvin answered “If he’s tall, blond, cute and looks like a cat, tell him to leave, please.”
“So you really don’t want to see me?”
Oh my god.
“What—”
His eyes widened so violently that the cutter slipped directly from his hand and clattered loudly onto the table. Gunwook exchanges his eyes between them before ducking his lips and his face literally saying “Ooohh something is happening!”. Ricky stood right outside the doorframe, arms crossed casually while staring at him with visible amusement—visible pouty lips that Gyuvin sure no one noticed. Gyuvin immediately walked forward in complete panic before gently pushing Ricky backward away from the doorway.
“What are you doing here?!” he whisper-yelled.
“Qubing,” Ricky said calmly, “You’re really bad at avoiding me.”
“That’s not what I was doing—”
“You didn't even answer mine.”
“I'm not—I was busy-”
“Can't even reply for one?”
“My research is stressful.”
“You ran away when Matthew said he saw me coming.”
Traitor.
Ricky stared at him for a few seconds before suddenly laughing quietly under his breath. That might have been the first time Gyuvin realized something genuinely terrifying. Gyuvin exhaled sharply through his nose before rubbing both hands over his face in frustration.
“Ricky, can we talk about this later…? I still need to—”
“Let’s go home!” Gyuvin immediately turned around toward the voice in complete betrayal—Gunwook—stood near the back of the room stretching both arms above his head, looking way too pleased with himself. Basically Gunwook just asked them to leave all the work right now in the background, so the other students instantly avoided eye contact the moment Gyuvin looked at them.
Cowards.
“C’mon, guys,” Gunwook continued while coughing dramatically into his fist. “Gyuvin~ We’re done.”
Traitors.
All of them.
Every single one.
Gyuvin stared at his teammates with genuine disbelief while one by one, they suddenly became extremely busy packing their things. One person turned off the computer. Another grabbed their bag suspiciously fast. Someone else even whispered, “Good luck,” before immediately getting elbowed by the others.
Unbelievable.
“You guys are actually horrible people,” Gyuvin muttered.
Gunwook grinned shamelessly. “We’re just done with our work? What's up with that?”
“Exactly, also—” Cut! “We're done! Let's go!”
Then another student mumbled from the corner. “We literally listened to your radio—” Nope! “Let's go! What a blabbermouth of you today?”
“Let's go home!” Gunwook said. Gyuvin slowly turned his head toward the ceiling like he was trying to communicate directly with God. Help me.
Meanwhile, Ricky stood beside the doorway watching everything unfold with visible amusement in his eyes. Honestly, he looked way too entertained for someone who was technically the reason behind all of this. His hand reached toward Gyuvin’s sleeve, Ricky lightly tugged the fabric once.
“Qubing.”
“What?”
“Let’s go.”
Gyuvin looked down at the finger still holding onto his sleeve for a moment too long. Like Ricky had every right to touch him this comfortably. And maybe the worst part was how naturally Gyuvin wanted to let him.
You touch Ricky more than much too, but why did this feel so awkward?
Going through them, Gunwook made the loudest fake gagging sound imaginable. “Ouh.. Disgusting smell~"
“Die.” Gyuvin snapped instantly looking at Gunwook leaving the room. Ricky was enjoying this. Actually enjoy watching him like this.
“You’re cute.”
Gyuvin almost choked. “What?”
Ricky tilted his head slightly, completely relaxed as he leaned against the doorframe. “It's weird of you. You always look at me, but now you can’t even look at me?”
“That’s because YOU keep saying weird things!” whispered him, they started to walk to the hallway, going down the stairs. Gyuvin couldn't think of anything even about the conversation earlier becoming a fog in his mind.
It's just an awkward silent for a moment.
“The letter was yours, wasn’t it?”
Gyuvin nearly tripped over absolutely nothing, his entire body froze so hard that Ricky immediately stopped walking too.
“What?” Gyuvin looks at him, clearly doesn't understand all the Chinese words coming out from the blond lips.
‘No. No. Wait! Again! Let me hear that again!’
Ricky stared at him, then one of his eyebrows slowly lifted.
“The letter,” he repeated calmly. “From the radio.”
Gyuvin felt his heartbeat stop. “What radio?”
“520% Radio.”
“520—" Oh, the radio! Good thing's Gyuvin learn Chinese. "You listen to those cringes?”
“Yeah? Why not?” Ricky continued staring at him silently for a few seconds before looking forward again, continuing his steps like he had not just detonated a bomb directly inside Gyuvin’s chest.
“Nope. Never thought you would.”
He turned a glance to Ricky, Gyuvin genuinely did not know how to breathe anymore. He stares at Ricky who looking—noticing a small kitten running here and there, leaning closely to Ricky's shoes. The way Ricky stopped and picked up the cat, adjusted the kitten slightly in his arms, it's a cute side that Gyuvin always adores.
“What makes you think it was me?”
“The way you read it? It's too much emotion.” Ricky continued. “Or you were trying too hard not to sound emotional?”
“…I read lots of letters like that before.”
“But not like this one, this one is different.”
Gyuvin laughed it off, “Guessing you really listen to my radio~”—Shit, shit, shit! Does he?!
The two of them stopped at a red pedestrian light, surrounded by the glow of passing cars and dim street lamps. Beside him, Ricky looked completely calm while Gyuvin felt like his soul was actively trying to leave his body.
“Also, only one person calls me his dopamine.”
Gyuvin’s eyes instantly and looked at his side where Ricky also turned to look at him properly now.
“You said it before. I remember,” Ricky said with a smile—is he? Gyuvin said that so maybe he is.
“I never really thought much about the way you say cheesy things so lovingly,” Ricky said as he stopped near the bus stop. The faint light above them flickered softly illuminating the quiet street around them.
“Because I know you’re naturally the type of person who says things like that to a lot of people. But, at least now I know the way you treat me is different.”
And just like that Gyuvin felt like his entire brain completely shut down. Ricky stood there so casually after saying something capable of mentally destroying someone—Gyuvin—Meanwhile, Gyuvin could barely process the words properly anymore.
After all… Ricky noticed it… Ricky knew... Then what?
‘You know, for someone who said you’d do everything for me even if the world collapsed you’re surprisingly bad at handling eye contact'.
The other memory replayed mercilessly inside Gyuvin’s head. Especially the way Ricky looked directly into his eyes while saying those words so naturally, almost like he had already been thinking about them for a long time.
Ricky simply looked at Gyuvin quietly before asking him directly, “Your feelings for me are really different, aren’t they? Right?”
Gyuvin genuinely felt like dying. Before he could even gather enough brain cells to answer properly the bus had already arrived. The doors opened with a loud mechanical sound while Gyuvin still stood frozen beside Ricky like an idiot. Then Ricky gently pushed his shoulder.
“Your bus is here.”
Gyuvin blinked. “Huh?”
“Go home,” Ricky said, clearly trying to hold back his laughter now. And before Gyuvin could even defend himself Ricky smiled. That stupidly pretty, soft smile. Fuck everyone. Those smiles are so gorgeous!
“Goodnight, Qubing.”
Then he literally shoved Gyuvin into the bus. The doors closed almost immediately afterward, leaving Gyuvin standing there in complete silence while Ricky remained outside watching him through the glass with visible amusement in his eyes.
“AAAAAAAHHHHH—”
That is Gyuvin screamed face-first into his pillow, his legs kicking violently into the air while he buried himself deeper into the mattress.
“This is insane! This is actually insane!”
He immediately rolled onto his back before groaning loudly into both hands. His entire room suddenly felt too small to contain the embarrassment currently destroying him alive.
So Ricky knew.
Ricky definitely knew.
Then what? What should he do? WHAT SHOULD GYUVIN DO?!
Not only that, Ricky had basically admitted that he noticed Gyuvin treated him differently compared to everyone else when Gyuvin doesn't feel the same. Then what?? At this point he's having a non-jagiya-honey-yeobo-relationshit with Gunwook, people probably thought they're more than Gyuvin and Ricky. Gyuvin rolled dramatically across the bed before grabbing the nearest pillow and repeatedly banging his head with it.
“How am I supposed to face him after this!?”
His phone vibrated beside him, he turned his head toward the screen. Annoying notification—
Shen Ricky
| also, it’s cute because it's my birthday.
Gyuvin sat upright on the bed in complete horror, stared at the message like it personally came to ruin his entire life. His brain stopped functioning for a solid ten seconds. He threw his phone across the bed.
“What does that even mean?!” let him twt this: #watdatmean, he yelled into the empty room before immediately burying his face back into the pillow again. The mattress creaked loudly beneath him as he kicked his legs against the sheets in pure frustration.
'Cute because it’s my birthday.'
CUTE.
Ricky called it cute.
Cute.
Ricky called Gyuvin cute! Right? No? No! tf? No!
Gyuvin genuinely felt lightheaded. What's cute about it? He grabbed the pillow beside him and pressed it against his face so hard he nearly suffocated himself voluntarily.
“This can’t be happening… Why do I do all of this?!”
His phone vibrated again, Gyuvin refused to look at it immediately this time—Absolutely not hehehe. He opened that message. He already survived reading his love confession live on air. He already survived Ricky staring directly into his soul before the man looked away. Whatever message came after this was probably dangerous enough to shorten his lifespan permanently: he is getting embarrassed.
The vibration came again. And again. Gyuvin groaned loudly before finally reaching for the phone with the energy of someone approaching their own execution.
Shen Ricky
| thank you i guess
| also we should eat together
| for my birthday
| [delete message]
| [delete message]
| did you die?
| answer me
Gyuvin typed back.
Kim Gyuvin
Yes. |
The typing bubble appeared instantly.
Shen Ricky
| dramatic
Kim Gyuvin
YOU! |
Why would you say that before PUSH me into the bus??? |
Let me answer that first! |
Shen Ricky
| because your reaction was funny
| let me revenge that to you
Gyuvin dropped his phone onto his chest with a painful groan.
He hated this.
joke on you!
He loved this.
Hate but love. His heartbeat still had not calmed down from what happened to him. Ricky acting this casually after basically exposing all of Gyuvin’s feelings only made the situation more worse for Gyuvin—Ricky did not sound uncomfortable at all, he sounded entertained. As if the fact that Gyuvin had been quietly loving him for years was not something frightening. Gyuvin stared blankly at the ceiling for a while before another notification appeared.
Shen Ricky
| ah, i also realized the radio name too
Kim Gyuvin
??? |
Shen Ricky
| 520%
| i knew it sounded familiar the first time you told me
Gyuvin felt his soul leave his body for the second time that night.
Shen Ricky
| besides “ily”
| it’s my birthday too
| and i love you
| it all makes sense now
| no wonder you loved me too much
Kim Gyuvin
R u sure? |
Shen Ricky
| isn't that obvi?
Was he seriously the only idiot suffering alone this entire time while Ricky quietly connected every clue together one by one? His face burned violently as he covered his eyes with one arm. Maybe he should move to another country? Maybe become a monk—Wait.. He's Christian tho—Maybe just disappear permanently?
Shen Ricky
| honestly i think it’s unfair
Gyuvin blinked immediately.
Unfair? Unfair?! Gyuvin should be the one saying that!
Shen Ricky
| you’ve loved me for this long
| and you still not realized i’ve been treating you differently too
| should we just be friends until the end of our great years?
Gyuvin stopped breathing, eyes widened slowly as he stared at the screen in complete silence. He reread the message once— ringggg~ Shen Ricky calling—Missed call.
Shen Ricky
| oops..
| sorry the cat stepped on my phone
Gyuvin stared at the message… WHOSE CAT?
Kim Gyuvin
Rick… |
You talk a lot now.. |
Shen Ricky
| why? you don’t like it?
Gyuvin’s fingers hesitated above the keyboard for a moment. Then slowly—
Kim Gyuvin
I like it.. [delete messages] |
If it’s you [delete messages] |
hell |
Shen Ricky
| let’s meet tomorrow :3
No.
Absolutely no.
“Should I bring her home?”
For a few seconds, Gyuvin genuinely couldn't process anything at all. His eyes remained fixed on the tiny kitten resting quietly in Ricky's arms. Wasn't this the same cat from yesterday? The small body was loafed against him as if it had already decided Ricky was safe. The kitten looked much cleaner now, though patches of fur were still messy and a few scratches were visible along its body. Even so, it remained unusually calm beneath Ricky's touch. Earlier, all Ricky had sent him was a location pin with absolutely no explanation and Gyuvin had come anyway. Because after everything that had happened, a location pin from Ricky was more than enough to make him go, like a magnet.
Also, who is the one said doesn't want to meet Ricky? Boohoo!
Now he stood outside a blue animal clinic near the edge of the street, slightly out of breath from walking too fast. The clinic's glowing sign reflected softly against the evening sky while Ricky stood near the entrance, completely relaxed.
Like a magnet, he just dragged Gyuvin's legs across the city without him asking.
The oldest held the kitten carefully against his chest, fingers gently scratching beneath its chin. Every movement was ridiculously delicate, almost instinctive that the kitten immediately leaned into his hand. Ricky already carried a quiet sort of warmth around him, and now there was a tiny injured kitten attached to his arm like it belonged there.
It felt unfair… Can't Gyuvin cling to him like that too—
“Taking care of cats and dogs is very different, you know,” Gyuvin said as their shoulders met.
“I know, but this one's cute too.” He lowered his head slightly to look at the kitten currently attached to him like a baby koala. “Matthew gave me some tips, he said he'll help me.”
Gyuvin let out a quiet breath through his nose, unable to stop the smile forming on his face. The image in front of him felt so soft it almost made his chest ache—also the image of Matthew helping Ricky, can't be..
“I'll help too.”
Ricky looked up. The kitten blinked sleepily. Cute. Both of them.
The kitten was cute.
Ricky was cuter.
Gyuvin is a loser.
“Feels like I'm picking up two cats right now.”
“Two cats?”
Without hesitation, Gyuvin pointed at Ricky before lightly poking his cheek. “You're a cat too.”
Ricky blinked, the kitten shifted slightly in his arms while Ricky stared at him with the most offended expression imaginable.
“Waaaa, so cutee~~”
“What kind of comparison is that?”
Gyuvin laughed. “No, seriously. Everyone knows you're basically a cat.”
“I'm not.”
“You act like a cat when you want attention.”
“I’m not.”
“You do.”
“I don't.”
"You are, Rick-kitty.”
Ricky opened his mouth—nope, take it back. He closed it again.
“You make things up.”
The wind drifted quietly between them, carrying the faint smell of rain from earlier in the afternoon and the distant sounds of traffic nearby. Ricky looked back down at the kitten and adjusted his jacket wrapped around her.
“Do you think she'll like living with me?” He was staring at the kitten now, genuinely worried—Gyuvin was the one who was worried. He already imagining how Ricky life would change around this tiny creature—that's too much Kim Gyub.
“She will,” Gyuvin answered softly. Instinctively, his hand settled against Ricky's waist as they started walking, guiding him around a crack in the sidewalk.
Ricky glanced up, seeing Gyuvin nodded toward the kitten sleeping peacefully in his arms. “She already trusts you. Animals are usually good at choosing people.”
“Okay.”
The answer came quietly, Ricky continued rubbing the kitten's tiny head made it obvious he'd already made up his mind long before Gyuvin arrived. The kitten let out a sleepy little sound and pressed itself further into Ricky's chest.
“What did the vet say?” Gyuvin asked, mostly to distract himself from the thought you guys never want to know.
“Mhm. She's okay now, apparently.” Ricky looked down at the kitten. “She's malnourished and covered in a few scratches. They cleaned her wounds already. The vet thinks she got into fights with other cats.”
“That's good.”
“They said she's really young and too small,” He paused before adding quietly, “Probably got separated from her mother, also I decided to sterilize her.” His fingers gently stroked the kitten's ear.
“She's really pretty.”
‘So do you..’
The other side of Ricky had always been like this, gentle in ways most people never noticed. Most people saw Shen Ricky as elegant, quiet, maybe even intimidating because of how naturally reserved he seemed, but anyone who stayed close long enough learned otherwise. Actually, Ricky was careful with living things. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows tonight, exposing his forearms as he carried the kitten against the chest.
Clearing his throat, he stayed close to Ricky's side, his hand occasionally hovering near Ricky's waist whenever the sidewalk became uneven.
“So this is the cat from yesterday?”
“Mhm.”
Seeing Ricky walk beside him with a sleeping kitten tucked safely in his arms made the entire street feel softer. Quieter. The tiny animal looked unbelievably comfortable against Ricky's chest. Every now and then Ricky would adjust his jacket around her when the wind picked up. Gyuvin just can't let his eyes look everywhere but Ricky.
Ricky had become the center of his entire world without even trying.
“Hey.”
Gyuvin blinked. Ricky had slowed down, without saying anything, he carefully shifted the kitten into one arm and held out the other toward him.
“What are you doing?”
“My arm hurts.”
“Kim Ricky.”
Ricky finally looked at him. “Hold her for a minute.”
Gyuvin's brain short-circuited immediately, his movements became instinctively gentler as Ricky carefully transferred the kitten into his arms. The kitten simply curled up against his chest and went right back to sleep.
“Oh.” Gyuvin's voice softened instantly. He held her like she might break. Ricky's expression softened even more when he saw it.
“She likes you too.”
Gyuvin glanced down before smiling faintly. “She probably smells you on me already—”
A pause of realization.
“I mean because we've been standing close and—”
“Shut up.”
“Yes, sir.”
Gyuvin looked straight ahead. The street gradually grew quieter as they moved farther from the main road. A convenience store glowed near the corner while the sounds of traffic slowly faded into the distance. Ricky glanced at him over his shoulder. They get inside the apartment building, walk in silence, waiting for the elevator to come and the sound ding! heard.
“You know, if you keep staring at me like that, I’m going to think you’re obsessed with me.”
“Maybe.. I am.” the small voices from Gyuvin made Ricky look at him, as they exchanged their gaze, Gyuvin continued.
“Because you’re my favorite view. Since the moment our eyes met, my heart felt like it flew straight to the moon.” Gyuvin kept looking at him directly.
“How can I let you slip away?” he murmured, “I always found myself wanting to talk to you. Choosing every topic just to keep the conversation going a little longer. And every single time,” Gyuvin admitted with a small smile under his breath, “Everything around me became blurry because all I could see was you.”
Ricky stared at him without speaking for seconds. And for the first time tonight—Gyuvin realized Ricky looked genuinely flustered or stunned? Can you imagine when your crush was so hard to be read then you just realized they're pouting or sad while the other said they're not? Exactly.
Ricky covered part of his face with one hand. “You can’t suddenly say things like that out of nowhere.”
“But it’s true.”
For years, Gyuvin had been the only one internally suffering whenever Ricky smiled at him for a little too long or casually acted affectionate without realizing the effect it had on him.
And now? Ricky was the one avoiding eye contact.
Actually, Gyuvin, just let you know, you never know.
“You know,” Gyuvin said while leaning lazily against the wall, “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”
Ricky immediately looked back at him in disbelief.
“Shut up.”
His blond stared at him for two seconds before laughing helplessly into his hand. That sound alone made Gyuvin feel like he could probably fall in love with him another hundred times. The apartment slowly settled into a quieter atmosphere afterward. Ricky carried the jacket he used. The warm filled the room while the kitten slept peacefully still on Gyuvin's arm, completely unaware of the emotional warfare happening around her.
Gyuvin watched Ricky silently for a moment. The first time he naturally prepared things for two people without even thinking about it. Cooking and letting Gyuvin just enjoy the food so well.
“I’m sorry if I ever did something wrong while being by your side,” he said softly. “If I ever made you upset or mad.”
"..."
“You know that everything I did came from how much I cared about you, right?” Gyuvin continued, his voice quieter now. “I just never wanted to see you sad or down.”
For a moment, neither of them looked away. The lights above reflected softly in Ricky’s eyes while Gyuvin tried his best not to lose his courage halfway through speaking.
“Sometimes…” He exhaled quietly. “Sometimes loving someone too much makes a person overly sensitive. Overly protective. Overly afraid of losing them. And in the end, without even realizing it, that fear turns into mistakes that accidentally hurt the person you were only trying to love carefully in the first place…”
The room became completely quiet afterward. Only the soft humming sound from around the apartment filled the silence, mixed with the distant noise of cars outside the window. Gyuvin lowered his gaze slightly after speaking. Those words had lived inside him for a very long time. Caring about someone that deeply naturally came with fear too.
Fear of ruining things.
Fear of crossing lines.
Fear of becoming too much.
Gyuvin looked up again just in time to see Ricky walking closer. Before he could even process it properly, Ricky reached forward and gently pat his head, making him freeze instantly.
“You know what I think?” Ricky asked.
“I think you spent so many years loving me carefully that you forgot relationships aren’t supposed to feel perfect all the time. You were never hurting me just because you cared too much.”
Gyuvin’s chest tightened immediately saw Ricky smiled faintly. “You worried too much. You overthought things. Sometimes you get too clingy or sensitive.” His eyes softened afterward. “But honestly? I liked knowing someone cared about me that much.”
Gyuvin genuinely felt like his heart stopped for a second.
“Rick…”
“And if you really hurt me before,” Ricky added quietly, “I would’ve told you.”
The words settled heavily inside Gyuvin’s chest.
That was the thing about loving Ricky all this time.
Ricky can always make things feel simple. Meanwhile Gyuvin spent years drowning inside feelings he never knew how to carry properly. The cat blinked softly at the point his eyes stayed fixed on Gyuvin’s face, and for a moment, he looked almost caught off guard by the expression staring back at him.
Gyuvin’s eyes that always looked bigger somehow droppy. The kind of gaze that made Ricky suddenly feel strangely awkward beneath it. Like if he looked away for even a second, something fragile would break. Ricky’s fingers loosened slightly against his cheek instinctively, almost like he thought he should pull back now, But before he could Gyuvin held his wrist gently.
“Ricky…” Gyuvin’s voice lowered into a whisper.
“I love you so much… And it feels so different because loving you never felt casual to me…”
Gyuvin leaned slightly into Ricky’s shoulder unconsciously as he spoked.
“How could I start thinking of you as my safe place without you ever really being mine?” Let your intrusive thoughts win.
Ricky stopped breathing for a second, every word coming out of his mouth sounded like something Ricky had secretly wanted to hear for a very long time too. Gyuvin clearly did not realize how devastatingly honest he sounded right now. He just stayed there leaning against Ricky’s shoulder, holding his wrist carefully while his heartbeat practically echoed throughout the room.
Greedy.
Gyuvin knew he was being greedy now.
Gyuvin could not tell what he was feeling anymore. Shock? Awkwardness? Overwhelm? Maybe all of them? Or worse? But Ricky doesn't pulled his hand away.
“Who said I never wanted to be yours?”
“Really, be serious!”
Ricky blinked in disbelief, probably feeling offended this time. “What do you mean to be serious?!” he protested immediately. “Those are my feelings!”
Gyuvin looked genuinely panicked now instead of emotional. “No, because what?!”
“Kim Gyubing,” Ricky said while narrowing his eyes suspiciously, “Do you actually love me?”
“Of course I do!” Gyuvin answered instantly, almost offended himself now. “At this point I’d run into a dream that never fades and lead you there!”
Ricky stared at him. “…What?”
Honestly, Gyuvin itself did not know where that sentence even came from.
“Why would you lead me there?!” Ricky asked, looking both confused and amused now.
Gyuvin’s brain short-circuited immediately. He blinked rapidly before answering in complete sincerity, “Uh, so I can keep dreaming with you there?”
Ricky stopped moving, Gyuvin let his hands go and Ricky hid his face behind.
“Oh my god, was that bad? Wait, no, listen—”
“No,” Ricky interrupted immediately, voice muffled behind his hand. “No, that was… Oh my god, what was that?”
Gyuvin groaned loudly, dropping his forehead directly onto Ricky’s shoulder again.
“I'll lock my mouth.”
Ricky laughed softly, shoulders shaking slightly beneath Gyuvin’s weight. The same person who spent years acting so careful with his feelings—Now standing here saying the most devastatingly sincere things with complete honesty in his voice. Maybe that's why Ricky’s chest kept feeling strangely warm tonight.
Finally seeing all the feelings Gyuvin had hidden from him for years. Ricky gently moved his hand upward, lightly playing with the ends of Gyuvin’s hair near his neck.
“Gyubin.”
“Mhm…”
“The fact that if you confessed like this years ago…” His fingers brushed softly against Gyuvin’s hair again. “I probably would’ve fallen for you immediately anyway.”
Gyuvin stared at him blankly for whole seconds.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YEARS AGO?!”
watdatmean?
“But don’t you think it was ridiculous?”
Honestly, Ricky did not even know how they ended up like this. One moment they were talking seriously, painfully honest with each other, and now after one year Gyuvin was practically melting on top of him giving him kisses nonstop. His entire weight leaned comfortably against Ricky's leg while his head tilted lazily closer every few seconds just to steal another kiss like he physically could not stop himself.
The kind that felt more affectionate than desperate. And that made Ricky’s heart react worse. Gyuvin pulled back slightly just to look at him for half a second before leaning in again.
Another kiss.
Then another.
Ricky finally grabbed his shoulders weakly.
“Hey!”
“What?” Gyuvin answered immediately before kissing the corner of his mouth again like nothing was wrong.
Ricky genuinely felt helpless, this was still Kim Gyuvin. The same overly careful person who spent years being terrified of crossing boundaries with him. Yet now that Ricky had finally admitted his feelings too, Gyuvin suddenly became unbelievably affectionate like all those restrained emotions were pouring out at once. After a year it's getting worse.
“Stop,” Ricky complained quietly, trying and failing to sound serious.
“I am literally doing nothing.”
“You kissed me non stop.”
Gyuvin blinked innocently, with his head tilting and said, “I'm… Not?”
“You are!”
Gyuvin laughed softly against his cheek before leaning closer again. Ricky immediately covered his mouth with one hand this time.
“No.”
Gyuvin paused dramatically, slowly looking up at him with wide eyes. Direct eye contact, staring at him with the softest expression imaginable while Ricky’s hand still covered half his mouth.
“What?”
Gyuvin gently held Ricky’s wrist again before lowering it slightly away from his face, he looked directly into Ricky’s eyes.
“You’re really looking at me like this now,”
“Like what?”
“Like you love me too.” Gyuvin’s thumb brushed lightly against Ricky’s wrist while he continued staring at him like he still could not fully believe this was real. “Do you know how long I imagined this?”
Gyuvin had loved him for so long that even now, after Ricky already admitted his feelings back, he still looked slightly afraid this would disappear—Like a dream. Ricky moved his hand completely away from Gyuvin’s mouth and held his face instead.
“You know what, the fact that you loved me this much,” Ricky murmured, thumb brushing gently beneath his eye, “And still managed to act normal around me all those years. I mean I would love to see you driving crazy for me at least once.”
Gyuvin immediately laughed weakly.
“I did not act normal?” Gyuvin scoffed, “I brought you drinks every other day, the tea you like. I memorized your schedules, I even love to learn Chinese pickup lines. I even fell several times because you're too handsome—"
“Okay, stop talking.”
“No, seriously,” he continued between laughs. “i was unbelievably obvious and you said I'm not?” Gyuvin immediately leaned forward again. “And whose fault is that?”
Ricky opened his mouth to answer—Then stopped completely when Gyuvin kissed him again before he could speak.
“Whatever.”
Gyuvin laughed softly before finally stopping his relentless attempts to steal another kiss. For a moment, he simply leaned against Ricky's shoulder and stayed there, somehow, after everything they had been through, that felt even more precious. For years, Gyuvin had been the one chasing after him. Looking for him in crowded rooms. Waiting for his messages.
Loving him quietly, patiently, stubbornly.
Now they had finally arrived at the same place.
“You know,” His finger playing with Gyuvin's nape, “I still listen to the last episode sometimes.”
Gyuvin immediately groaned. “Please don't.”
“Why? It's amazing.”
“It's embarrassing.”
Ricky laughed. “I like it.”
“Of course you do.” Gyuvin buried his face against Ricky's chest in defeat while Ricky's laughter echoed softly through the apartment. Ricky looked down at him, the tip of his finger running on Gyuvin’s hair.
“If you could go back,” he asked quietly, “Would you still make 520% Radio?”
Gyuvin lifted his head slightly. “For four years of suffering and embarrassing myself?”
“Yes.”
“No—”
Ricky stared at him, Gyuvin lasted exactly three seconds before breaking—Listen, Gyuvin always felt that it happened again and again when Ricky stared at him with the look "I don't have the same opinion as you” made Gyuvin couldn't hold himself.
“Okay. Maybe yes.”
“I knew it.”
“You sound way too pleased about that.”
“Because it led me here.”
The room became quiet again. Ricky looked at him for a few seconds with a smile. Something inside Gyuvin melted instantly.
“Oh my god,” he muttered weakly. “You're really trying to kill me.”
“That was romantic—” Before Ricky could continue, Gyuvin leaned forward and kissed him again.
A quick one.
Ricky sighed.
“Qubing.”
“Mhm.”
Another kiss.
“Gyuvin.”
“Mhm.”
And another.
“God...”
Ricky stared at him. Gyuvin grinned shamelessly. Ricky glanced toward the living room, almost forgot about other presences inside the room.
“Feed the cat.”
“What?”
“Feed the cat.”
Gyuvin gives another kiss.
“Not me— Māomī!” Both of them turned their heads at the same time. The kitten had somehow escaped from her bed and was currently chewing on a phone charger.
"..."
"..."
“No!”
The kitten looked up, then sprinted away.
Gyuvin completely lost it. His laughter echoed throughout the apartment while Ricky chased after the tiny criminal disappearing beneath the sofa.
“Come back here!”
The kitten did not come back.
“She's literally your daughter,” Gyuvin managed between laughs, he try to help Ricky get the cat back.
“She is not!”
“She has your attitude.”
“She absolutely like you!”
The kitten chose that exact moment to dart across the room again, stop at Gyuvin ankle made Ricky groan, and Gyuvin laughed so hard because not just Ricky, he also can't catch the little kitty.
“Māomī!”
Well, years ago, 520% Radio began because of a feeling he never intended to confess. A quiet love. A secret he carried alone. He built an entire corner of his world around someone he thought might never belong to him. Yet somehow, every broadcast, every late-night recording, every hidden meaning behind "520," every letter he was too afraid to send directly—everything had led him here.
To Ricky.
And it was more than enough. After all those years of loving him from afar, Gyuvin no longer had to wonder where his feelings would end.
They ended here.
Right beside Shen Ricky.
Exactly where they had always been trying to go.