Work Text:
"Yo, Egg!" Wemmbu banged on the flimsy door that led to Egg's room. He's been at this for close to an hour, and while he could so easily smash through it with a sneeze, he didn't want to invade his friend's privacy. "Is what you're hiding so embarrassing that even I can't know about it? I saw you shit before, it can't get worse than that!"
"Go away!" was the muffled response.
"Come on, Egg," Wemmbu insisted. The curiosity was burning him alive. Egg normally wasn't so secretive, but he caught him sneaking around his room last night. Wemmbu had let him be at the time, it wasn't like it was an unusual occurrence—they both get nightmares sometimes. They knew the only way they could go back to sleep was to make sure the other was alive and healthy enough to be annoying.
But Egg didn't stop there.
At first, he creepily stood over his head and just stared at him. Probably to see whether Wemmbu was actually asleep or not. Once Wemmbu passed the test, Egg began digging through his closet for fresh sheets and recently-washed clothes. By that time, Wemmbu had been ready to spring up and demand an explanation, if not for Egg suddenly cursing and sprinting out of the room. With his sheets and clothes.
Wemmbu had stared at the open door with disbelief written all over his face, before shaking his head and going right back to sleep. He must have been dreaming.
The next morning, his entire closet had been ransacked. Even his pillows were gone. And his tiara!
Obviously, Wemmbu had marched right up to Egg's locked door and demanded to be let in. He expected resistance, but not to this extent. His earlier rage had slowly shifted into unbearable interest, and he'll be damned if he doesn't figure out what was going on! He will stand in front of Egg's door and he won't budge even if the world began to end!
The door creaked open.
"Dude," Egg said scathingly. Only part of his face was visible, blocking Wemmbu from seeing the inside of his room. "Have you no sense of decency?"
"No sense of decency?" Wemmbu repeated in disbelief. "Remind me who snuck into my room in the middle of the night and stole all my stuff? My underwear better not be in there too!"
Egg flushed deeply. "Yo, that's just gross, yo! Actually just leave!"
The door slammed shut. Or it would have, if Wemmbu didn't catch it on time.
"Agh, let go!" Egg yelled, straining to push the door. Wemmbu was barley using his strength.
"Just tell me what you're up to," Wemmbu said, his eyes crazed.
"Yo, put that face away! That's fucking horrifying!"
The door broke in half.
Right. It was flimsy.
"Uh oh," Wemmbu said, only feeling a little guilty. "Didn't mean to go that far."
Before Wemmbu could step inside the room, Egg tackled him to the floor.
"Dude!" Wemmbu spluttered, suffocating from the weight pressing down on him. Egg had his arms around his head, blocking his eyes and nose. His legs were clamped around his upper back, and he wouldn't budge even as Wemmbu began pulling at the back of his shirt.
"Don't hurt them!" Egg sobbed, clinging even tighter. "Don't go near my babies!"
What the actual fuck.
"What the actual fuck."
Egg's eyes suddenly grew wide. "I- I mean—" he stuttered. "I mean, don't go near my bed."
"Yeah, you're not slick."
Finally, Wemmbu stood up with Egg still sticking to his upper body. Egg grew even more distressed, tears actually flowing down his face like a never-ending waterfall. Wemmbu felt the guilt stab him in the heart. It was always funny teasing Egg, but he never meant to make him cry.
"Alright." Wemmbu sighed. He brought his own arms around Egg's back and gave him a hug. "You win, I'll leave. I went too far, you can hit me if you want."
Egg sniffled.
Slowly, Wemmbu put him down. They were almost the same height, but Egg had an inch over him. Too bad Wemmbu didn't like wearing heels inside the house.
"Why are you still crying, bro?" Wemmbu said in exasperation. "What? Want another hug?"
"I want you to leave."
-
It was two days later that Egg approached him.
He seemed calmer now, no longer kicking a fuss whenever Wemmbu happened to pass by his room. There was an embarrassed look on his face as he sat next to him, avoiding all types of eye contact.
"Alright, I'll bite," Wemmbu said once he felt the second-hand embarrassment kick in. "What happened?"
"What do you mean what happened?" Egg asked. "Dude, I just laid my eggs."
"What the fuck do you mean you laid your eggs?"
"I laid my eggs, bro. I don't get what's so hard to understand."
"You lay eggs?!" Wemmbu shrieked.
"I'm a chicken, obviously I lay eggs…"
"You're a chicken?!" Wemmbu shrieked louder.
Suddenly, a pile of round objects were thrust into Wemmbu's arms. Wemmbu stared down at it.
It was a pile of eggs.
"I'm good now, my instincts are gone," Egg said casually, like Wemmbu's brain wasn't leaking out of his ears. Like reality wasn't breaking down around him.
"What—" Wemmbu's tongue felt heavy in his mouth. He was having a stroke. He was having a stroke because apparently Egg was a fucking chicken. "What am I gonna do with this?"
Egg tilted his head in confusion. "Eat them? Like we always do?"
Wemmbu grew pale. "Th— the eggs we eat…it came from your— from your…!"
"Yeah, from my a—"
Wemmbu screamed.