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“I wanted to talk to you.”
It’s after their bedtime.
Honestly, seeing Coco up is almost worrying. It hasn’t been long since she collapsed from exhaustion, and although Agott has no intentions of stopping her own nightly routine of studying, Coco should be fast asleep already. She’s not even in her pyjamas yet, and hasn’t taken a bath, which mostly means she is worried about something.
… which, in a way, Agott feels like it is strange that she knows that. For how long have they been living together? Should Agott already know her bedtime routine so well? But Agott also knows everyone's bedtime routines, and she doesn’t feel that it’s strange. But with Coco…
“Sure.” Agott puts her pen on the desk and turns around, staring at Coco.
Coco paces around their room, clearly anxious, until she takes one of the pillows and comes directly towards Agott. She plops her pillow down, and sits so close that their shoulders brush against each other.
When Agott looks at her, Coco is staring at her own hands.
“I—I noticed something,” she admits shyly. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I’m worried.”
“Okay?” Agott mutters, unsure. “Go on.”
Instead of saying anything, Coco raises her hand. Hesitates for a second, before she grabs Agott by her left wrist, and Agott shivers so suddenly that they both immediately freeze. It's an instinctual reaction, and Agott doesn’t realize at first why she would react like this. She glances at Coco, then at her own hand, and presses her lips together.
They sit in silence for a long while, as Agott slowly brushes her hand over the thin layer of her sleeve.
Finally, her bravery restored, Coco glances at Agott’s face.
“You got hurt in the cave.”
Agott shakes her head.
“It’s not important.”
“Don’t be silly, if you are hurt—”
“Coco,” Agott stops her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But something happened—”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“But you were hurt, of course I can pity you—”
“No, I’m—I should be the one that feels a pity towards you,” Agott snaps. “You lost your mother. You don’t have a place to come back to. You know nothing of this world—you barely register the basics, and there are the worst people that keep coming after you, Coco! There is—there is…”
“They came after you too,” Coco points out solemnly. “Richeh… she told me that they tried to…”
She’s clearly unsure what to say. Agott shivers, and thinks about that moment — she tried her best not to ever think about it, not to ever… she really tried her best to forget it all. Nothing had happened to her, but it could’ve gone differently. She had seen the consequences that could have befallen her instead.
And here comes Coco. And she has the… the audacity… to even mention that…!
“She shouldn’t have,” Agott just mutters solemnly. “I’m fine—”
“You keep scratching your arm,” Coco points out. “I—I don’t know much about it,” Coco admits sheepishly. “But if you have a forming scar, it itches, right?”
Agott bites her lower lip. Shakes her head, as she looks down at her arm. It’s deeply shameful, the way she can feel anger slowly coming to the surface.
“Does it matter if I have a scar?!”
“It does!” Coco cries out. “There is memory to it, and—I don’t want you…”
Agott snorts. She wants to get up and go to her own part of their room, then lock herself in her bedroom, but she also just still stays there. Their arms are still pressed together, as Agott slowly shakes her head.
“This doesn’t concern you, Coco.”
Coco presses her lips together and begins to rock her head left and right. Averting her eyes, Coco begins to stare at the white, blank wall, and blinks aggressively; Agott is unsure if she is just thinking so hard about what to say next, or getting close to crying.
Agott sighs. She leaves her ink and pen on the bed and she gets up. Coco’s eyes snap towards her, as Agott slowly rolls up her sleeve, and shows Coco her arm.
“There is barely anything here,” Agott explains patiently, even if she needs to keep herself in check to not have her voice waver. “It’s still healing, but there probably won’t be a visible scar.”
But there will be one, and Agott knows that. A small one, only visible in certain lighting, when she puts her arm just in the right way; but it will stay there. Maybe disappear slowly as she grows, maybe leaving just a small line of memories.
Coco hesitates before she touches Agott’s wrist again, twisting her arm ever so slightly, and stares. Agott can feel how her cheeks begin to get warmer, and she swallows hard when Coco continues softly touching her arm to get it closer to the light so she can see better.
“I would often—” Coco begins shyly and stops herself, biting her lower lip.”Ah, when I would fall over and cut myself, my mom would… she would…” Coco waves her hand around, a blush on her cheeks growing stronger with every word. “Ah, but witches cannot learn medicine, right?”
“Right,” Agott agrees, and when Coco’s grip on her arm loosens, she pulls it away from her. “We can use medicine given to us by doctors.”
“Uh. What if it’s not medicine?”
Then why would we even talk about it? Agott thinks to herself, and she sighs.
“What are you thinking about?!” Agott snaps at her. Coco jumps away, falling off her pillow and starts waving her arms. “What would your mom give you?!”
“I-I-I-I-It’s nothing bad!” Coco shouts. “I—but it’s embarrassing,” she whispers softly.
Agott makes big eyes at her. She tries to think about something — the only thing she can think about is Tetia always kissing their hands when they would get little papercuts, or Master Qifrey sneaking them candies before dinner if they felt bad. Both things were absolutely not helping in any way, obviously.
And, for sure, Agott won’t allow Coco to kiss her arm—!
“It’s nothing,” Coco insists. “She would put honey on it after the wound closed off,” Coco explains quietly. “She would tell me it helps with scars, so they fade quicker, but I don’t really know if it truly works…? My mom… she didn’t have medical knowledge,” Coco whispers, clearly embarrassed.
Agott wants to make fun of her.
Because ugh, it’s just stupid. Doesn’t matter either — a wound that shallow won’t scar too much anyway. And even if it did, Agott doesn’t care at all. And Coco shouldn’t either!
—but Coco would so rarely talk about her mother without crying. She would rarely get more than three sentences in before she would quiet down. And so often, Agott would hear soft cries coming from her room.
So, Agott doesn’t make fun of her.
“We could try.”
Coco freezes and opens her eyes wider. Clearly surprised by Agott's sudden agreement, she gets up and reaches towards Agott.
“I think we have some honey in the kitchen,” she says, pulling Agott to her feet.
“How would your mom do it?” Agott whispers a moment later, as they both creep down the stairs.
“Use a very thick layer. But you need to wash it off before you go to sleep, or you're going to be sticky everywhere in the morning,” Coco says quietly. Agott blinks, imagining Coco waking up with all her sheets stuck to her arms. “I would do it every evening, and after an hour or so, I would go take a bath.”
Agott simply nods. She still thinks that idea is ridiculous, but sure, her arm did tickle a bit every now and then — but Agott is old enough to understand that it will pass. It doesn’t matter to her, but to Coco—
Truly, why would that girl care?
“Here we go,” Coco whispers, pulling the jar of honey from the cupboard.
They struggle with the lid for a moment, before Agott finally opens and gives Coco a victorious grin. Coco gets them two spoons — before Agott can ask why, Coco eats the spoon of honey and makes a loud ‘mmm’ sound, making Agott snort.
“It’s good,” Coco grins. “Do you want some?” Agott shakes her head. “Okay, then show me your arm.”
As Agott does that, Coco again grimaces at the sight of an almost closed-up wound and using the second spoon, trails a thick layer of honey on her arm.
It’s… cold. Surprisingly nice, but maybe that made sense, to be coated up in a thick, cold and sweet layer of honey would feel surprisingly nice. Coco does it with perfect precision, not staining Agott anywhere else, and when she’s done, she gives her a shy smile.
“All done. Keep your arm like that for a few minutes—”
“What are you two doing here?”
They both freeze. Slowly, Agott looks towards the stairs, and curses in her thoughts as Olruggio stares back at them. She is not really sure if they woke him up or if he is just getting something to eat before bed; doesn’t matter.
He looks at them suspiciously as he gets closer. Agott hides her arm behind her back, and Olruggio’s eyes immediately snap towards her.
“Eating?” Coco risks.
Olruggio doesn’t really look too sure about it. He stares at the jar of honey, and grabs Agott by the arm.
“Show me,” he says when Agott tries to resist. She huffs but pulls her arm out, and Olruggio makes big eyes, staring at her arm, covered in honey. “Are you animals?” he mutters softly. “Eating off each other's skin? What’s going on here?”
“We are—”
“The dinner—”
“Uh, I wanted something sweet—”
“What?” Olruggio gives them both a tired look. “It’s long past your bedtime, and you are too old to play with your food—”
He stops.
Agott feels burning embarrassed, because she knows he noticed it by this point. His eyes slowly assess her arm, the closed wound, half hidden by the darkness and golden honey; but it’s noticeable. It’s sudden, how Olruggio pulls her a bit closer.
Without thinking, Agott grabs Coco by her own hand and squeezes it hard.
“What is this?” Olruggio whispers, and even with how quiet he is, it’s hard to hide the underlying terrifying implications.
“Nothing,” Agott lies and tries to take her arm away. “Let me go!” she shouts with annoyance, and that does the trick.
And she regrets it. Usually, it’s not Agott that does the shouting towards the adults that she respects. Truly, she cannot remember if she ever even did that towards Olruggio before, so maybe it makes sense that he reacts to it like she threw a pot of boiling water at him.
He is quick to collect himself too.
“This is not a simple injury, it’s too straight—who did that to you? Answer me,” he demands. “You hadn’t done it to yourself, right? Agott, look at me—”
She huffs, her face still turned away from Olruggio. Coco stares at her too; she already put the jar of honey on the cupboard, and she looks simply sad. It’s stupid, she’s stupid. Nothing had happened, so why should anyone care about it? Agott doesn’t!
Olruggio waits for an answer. When Agott realizes that he probably won’t stop, she sighs and looks at him.
“In the cave.”
The realization crosses Olruggio’s face. The anger turns docile, and it shifts into something stranger, that Agott can’t really put her finger on. The man is frowning now, and there is a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows. He glances at Coco, who visibly shivers underneath his gaze.
“Coco,” Olruggio says quietly. “Go upstairs, okay?”
“But—”
“I want to talk to Agott in private.”
Coco looks unsure, but after a while she nods. Before she leaves, she squeezes Agott’s hand lightly. Agott looks into her eyes, before she nods too, and Coco politely waves her goodbyes towards Olruggio, before running upstairs.
The man waits for a moment, until they both hear the door close. He sighs, and scratches his head, his eyes going towards Agott again.
“That Brimmed Hat tried to hurt you?” Agott simply shrugs at that. “Agott—”
“They tried to,” Agott says. “I told you before—they attacked us. Grabbed me, I guess, tried to… do that. And they didn’t manage to do it. I’m fine.”
“You were hurt.”
“And I’m fine,” she repeats. “See? It’s nothing,” she says, waving her arm in front of him. “I’m fine—”
“You should’ve said something to me or Qifrey.”
“We had other things to worry about,” Agott says. “I just—forgot, okay? It’s not—Coco was freaking out more than me,” she tries to explain herself. She feels like a child.
She can almost feel the heaviness of all the implications resting on her arms. Slowly, Olruggio gets on one knee before her, and takes a deep breath.
“I’m sorry for grabbing your arm without asking first,” he says patiently. Agott is looking down at him, and she bites her lips, turning her head away.
“—‘s fine,” she mumbles.
“Can you show me it again? I want to see it better.”
Agott thinks about it for a moment. In all honesty, she doesn’t want to — but she cannot find a good reason for it. So, with a big sigh, she pulls her arm from behind her back and pushes it close to Olruggio’s face. The man backs off slightly, and gives her a disapproving look, before focusing on her skin again.
The honey is dripping from it. Honestly, Agott is almost sure that she got it on her clothes too already.
“It doesn’t look deep,” he comments.
“It wasn’t,” Agott agrees. “Barely felt it.”
“It’s not true,” Olruggio catches her on the lie, but he still sounds so terrifyingly soft that it makes Agott want to cry even more. “They tried to tattoo you, right?”
“Yes,” she answers, this time without fussing. “I mean, this is what they do, right? Tried to—”
She closes her mouth. She is unsure how to describe it. She doesn’t even want to think about it — the whole thing came and went, and Agott preferred not to think about it any further.
“Do something very bad to you,” Olruggio finishes for her.
Agott swallows hard.
“I guess so,” she answers shyly. “But they were not able, so it’s fine.”
“No—No, Agott, it’s not fine just because they didn’t finish it,” Olruggio says with a sigh and allows his head to fall down. Agott is now staring at the tip of his head, and she swallows hard, feeling just… embarrassed. She can’t really express exactly why. And in a way, Agott really doesn’t want to think about it more. “I know that there was a lot going on. And later, we were all stressed about Qifrey getting hurt too, I understand, but you are… you are children,” he says in such a soft way that his words seem to wrap themselves around Agott’s shoulders. “You are underneath our care and underneath our protection. Me and Qifrey, we want you safe. You were not safe.”
Agott blinks. She tries not to think about it.
Even if the adults around think differently, Agott is perfectly aware that she is a child. Of course, she wants to feel like she is a very mature child, but there is no denying that twelve years old are going to be twelve years old. She’s aware that even if mostly a teacher, Qifrey wants to play a part of their guardian. Olruggio is here to keep them safe, check if everything is going well.
In the most perfect resolution of this situation, Agott should’ve sat them down before they even came back home, and told them what had happened. But she doesn’t want it to mean more than a scar that will fade and a fleeting memory that won’t follow her into her teenage years.
“It’s not your fault,” she simply insists.
“But you should’ve told us—”
“I didn’t want to talk about it!” Agott says angrily. “I still don’t.”
Olruggio stays silent for a moment, before he just nods his head.
“It’s fine if you don’t, but after the attack… you shouldn’t have been left alone there, with that Brimmed Hat,” he says softly.
“We couldn’t expect them to show up,” Agott says slowly.
Coco, she thinks to herself. They could expect it, probably. Everywhere Coco was, the Brimmed Hats would follow; it being the third time now, they should probably be prepared to see them every time they leave anywhere. The danger is waiting for them around every corner, as long as Coco is one of them.
And Agott is quite sure she should share it with Olruggio. She opens her mouth, but the anxiety warms up her body and face—if she says anything, there is a possibility… of Olruggio keeping Coco inside. Of giving her up. Or…
“We did not,” Olruggio says. “We are not expecting them to follow again, but it is becoming a pattern. We are going to keep you safe.”
“Okay,” Agott whispers. She feels like crying.
Olruggio needs to stop talking.
“We are going to do everything we can to keep you safe from now on,” Olruggio presses even further. “You understand that, right?”
“Oh, for—yes, I do,” Agott mumbles. “Can we stop talking about it already?”
“For now, yes. It’s late. I’ll bring you some medicine tomorrow so it won’t scar,” Olruggio promises. He scrunches his eyebrows as he stares at her arm again. “And take a bath before going to sleep or you will wake up all sticky.”
“Uh, yeah. I know. Coco told me that too.”
Olruggio hums.
“Why honey?”
“Her mom would use it for her wounds,” Agott explains, pressing her lips together. She stares at her own arm. “Um, I thought it was stupid? But Coco cries so much about her mom. I didn’t want to tell her that it’s silly when she was talking about her mom.”
“You are a very smart girl, Agott,” Olruggio says. “You are a very good friend too.”
“I’m not,” Agott disagrees.
“You are. Qifrey and I also knew each other from childhood, did you know that?” Agott slowly nods. She figured it out some time ago. “I can recognize a good friend like you.”
“Stop,” Agott just mutters quietly and turns her eyes away.
Olruggio laughs. He gets up, and after a moment of hesitation, pats Agott's head in the most awkward way.
“Coco is probably waiting for you,” he comments. “Go. Take a bath, and go to sleep, both of you.”
Agott nods. Before he can change his mind, she’s already running up the stairs, skipping by two. When she finally enters their shared room, she gasps, surprised, a curtain of light hair obscuring her view.
“Agott!” Coco whispers, hugging her tightly. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble!”
Almost instinctively, Agott wraps her arms around Coco too. She hugs her for a moment, before sighing softly.
“I didn’t,” she says, and as Coco takes a step back, Agott sees that she seems mostly unconvinced. “He just asked how it happened.”
“Oh,” Coco sighs. “That’s good then.”
“I need a bath now,” she says, staring at her arm. “And you need one too,” she notices honey that brushed over Coco when the girl hugged her.
“It was stupid,” Coco admits.
“It was not,” Agott answers, and she doesn’t even know why she defends it. It was stupid, obviously it was— “It worked on you, right? With your mom?”
Coco nods and smiles awkwardly.
“I—maybe the magic of it worked,” she admits sheepishly. “Not like, um, literal magic, but you know. Sometimes when you say something out loud, it kind of becomes real, right?”
“Sure,” Agott agrees.
Suddenly, she feels very tired.
“I could help you dry your hair after you are done with your bath?” Coco asks shyly, and Agott nods.
“My hair is so short it dries quickly,” she mutters. “And I have a spell for it.”
“Oh.”
“But I’m tired,” Agott admits too. “And when I’m tired, spells can look wobbly. So you could at least help me with that.”
“Oh, yeah! Sure!”