Chapter Text
“Oh, I was expecting him to answer,” Ellie rang Alec’s mobile from the courthouse once the trial had concluded for the day.
“He’s asleep,” Tess answered. Ellie could hear the exasperation dripping off just the two words.
Ellie told her to tell Alec that the trial was still ongoing. She told her about the photograph of Claire wearing Pippa’s pendant.
“Can you get ahold of it?” Tess asked. After Ellie let her know that Claire was keeping it in her portfolio at the cottage, Tess added, “you should come by Alec’s.” There was a pause. “House. I suspect you know where it is? I’d like to go over some things with you.”
“Does that mean you’re reconsidering re-opening the case?” Ellie couldn’t help but ask. Back at the diner, Tess had been so adamant against it, a borderline condescension in her voice each time she told him no. Almost as if she enjoyed reminding him that he was on medical leave, floundering in the wilderness with the ghost of a dead child following him everywhere he went, while she still had a job. The second-hand embarrassment she felt outside when he’d accidentally called her “love,” was palpable the entire drive afterwards. That pouty smirk she’d made at him clearly stung and stayed with him for the rest of the evening, though he kept it to himself as a matter of words, the hurt radiated off him. It didn’t make sense to compare his feelings for his ex-wife to her own for her own soon-to-be ex-husband. The infidelity, losing valuable evidence, the pendant being stolen while she was actively cheating on him, and then allowing him to carry the blame for nearly two years, were things that clearly had a tight hold on him. Whatever part of him that wasn’t currently consumed by his medical issues was fully dedicated to that case, and by extension, its inextricable link to his personal life. If she had doubted that he had any capacity for forgiveness, or still held a place in his heart for Tess, it was more than clear as he lay in the hospital bed. When Tess materialized at his bedside, it was impossible for her to not see his eyes light up, if only for a brief second. As she walked out of the post-operative recovery theater, Ellie’s immediate reaction to hearing Tess tell him the doctors wanted to keep him overnight had been to scoff. ‘Good luck keeping the knob who discharged himself and showed up to work after nearly dying in the boatyard chasing Joe in a hospital bed. Especially if he was feeling even marginally better,’ she thought. A little of the irritation she felt toward him for not mentioning the surgery until that text after the operation was finished had melted away when she heard him murmur his response. Even without seeing his face, it was clear from his voice what he was referring to by “home.” A small piece of her heart broke for him, but also for herself, knowing neither of them were ever going to be able to truly go back to the families that made those places home.
“I am going to tell you the same thing I’ve been telling him. No. But since you’re insisting on letting him drag you into it, the least I can do is lend an ear for you to bounce ideas off of while he’s out of commission,” Tess told her.
Ellie scowled at her mobile after Tess hung up. She could tolerate the patronizing tone when Tess spoke to Alec. He probably deserved at least half of what he got. Directed at her though, she found it downright irritating.
***
“Feels weird sitting out here, working with him lying right there,” Miller nodded toward Alec’s bedroom. Not even a curtain separated the small closet-sized room where his bed was from the kitchen.
“You know there’s a 2nd bedroom in this house? Doesn’t have a bed in it, just a bunch of storage,” Tess told her.
Ellie suggested that it had probably just been the room that already had a bed in it when he’d arrived. Images of Alec out of breath just walking, even sitting, flashed through her head. She couldn’t see him summoning the strength to move furniture, even at his most stubborn. Ellie tried to get the measure of Tess, looking between the lines to see if she didn’t fully understand how sick he’d gotten, chose to ignore it, or simply didn’t care.
“He could have rearranged things a bit. Tidied up this mess. God forbid he does anything that might make himself more comfortable,” she sighed.
“You reckon all this stuff,” Miller gestured around the house. “Was all here when he rented out the place?” Miller knew that was the case. He’d been living at the Traders when he’d first come to town, moving into the hut by the water once the police department had stopped subsidizing his accommodations. She wanted to see Tess’s reaction. Let her think she didn’t know the man as well as she did. Her miserable little flat in Devon was devoid of any personal touches, having only brought the bare essentials with her when she left the house she had shared with her boys and Joe. Still, there was something equally depressing to think about him living amongst the hoard of knicknacks lining nearly every inch of shelf space and most of the walls. The nautical theme felt particularly galling. The water that he hated lapped mockingly, just feet away outside the house. It felt cruel to have constant decorative reminders inviting it inside as well.
“Oh,” Tess gave her a pitying look. “You thought any of this was his? That,” she pointed to the crime scene photos and statements strewn across the table. “Clothes,” she glanced toward his bed. “He may have purchased those bed sheets,” she said with a shrug. “Not his,” she pointed to the books on a bookshelf. “His are all boxed up in my basement. You don’t think you’d be interested in helping me rid myself of some of those, would you?”
Ellie shook her head. She felt another twinge of irritation. Tess had been there all of a few hours after driving him home from the hospital, and already she was talking as if she owned the place or had any idea of what was going on in Alec’s life over the past seven months. Even with her own problems, through all her frustrations with Alec at times, she’d be blind to not have noticed he was struggling too.
“No, sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Tess sat down and began idly flipping through the contents of the case file. She traced a finger along the map of the scene. “I’ll make us some tea. Promise it won’t be as strong as he likes it,” Tess announced, getting up.
Ellie snuck a quick glance at Alec. He looked almost peaceful.
“I quite like how he makes it,” she told Tess.
Tess gave her a look of disbelief, smirking. “You don’t, it’s dreadful.”
Ellie raised an eyebrow, but let it go. Tess was resting her patience with the smug attitude. The woman may just be insufferable and talk to everyone like that, not just Alec. “We should probably be a bit quieter. Don’t want to wake him,” she whispered, following Tess over to the kitchen. Ellie leaned against the counter, arms folded across her chest.
“We won’t, he’ll be out,” she glanced at her watch. “I reckon at least another five or six hours, if not for the night. I only gave him his pills an hour or so before you got here.”
For a man who didn’t sleep very often as it was, that seemed like a wild overstatement, even if he was still coming down off anesthesia medications and doped up on whatever other narcotics the doctors had prescribed. “You seem quite confident of that,” Ellie said.
“You should have seen him when he had a kidney stone. Or the cracked rib, his appendix out. He’s surprisingly sensitive to heavy duty painkillers, hates taking them in full doses because of how hard they put him out. And I mean properly out. But if you think he’s grouchy normally,” Tess shook her head and let out an exaggerated breath. She slid a mug toward Ellie. “Trust me, we want him asleep right now for our own sanity.”
Ellie didn’t totally doubt that he’d find a way to drive them both crazy. She’d dealt with his anger and lashing out when frustrated. She could imagine maybe some the snark and snappiness was due to being in pain, although she also suspected that was also just who he is. She also got a fair amount of enjoyment out of asking personal questions that Alec wouldn’t answer, watching him squirm and deflect only made her want to needle him more for answers when he didn’t outright ignore her. Listening to Tess so casually divulge years of medical maladies significant enough to warrant treatment, rubbed her the wrong way. Anyone as private as Alec would hate her doing this. It felt additionally mean-spirited that she was doing it technically right in front of him as he slept. To Ellie, she sounded almost like she was bragging about ensuring he’d stay asleep while she looked after him, as if the only way she could stand the, admittedly unenviable, task of trying to care for him required him to be unconscious for much of it. Ellie had no desire to take over any sort of nurse duties herself, but if he’d asked her to cut his pain medication in half because he didn’t like the way it made him feel, she thought that she would still respect those wishes no matter how crazy he drove her. At worst, she may threaten to crush up the whole bottle in his tea. She wouldn’t actually do it.
“You drugged him then?” Ellie asked.
“Just the recommended max dosage, nothing dangerous. But I suppose in a matter of speaking,” Tess gave her an innocent smile.
The simmering annoyance Ellie had felt toward her thus far suddenly came to a quick boil. A protective urge flared, and before she realized what she was doing, she felt a sting in the palm of her hand that let her know that yes, she had just slapped her knob of a former boss’s ex-wife. In his defense. Reasonably hard. Presumably, Tess knew about the accusations the defense council had leveled at them, of an affair or at minimum some kind of sexual encounter in his hotel room the night of Joe’s arrest. If she hadn’t believed the lies on face value, Ellie realized that this may have just pushed her toward thinking there were at least one-sided feelings there on her part. The two women stood stone-faced, glaring at each other for what felt like an eternity.
“You’re probably right, how would I know what’s best for him,” the backhanded tone to the comment was a subtle slap back in a way Ellie may not have physically felt in her jaw, but instead twisted in her gut. Tess’s arrogant air of moral superiority made Ellie want to slap her again.
“Quite,” Ellie nodded, still glaring.
“Thorp Agro-services,” Tess stretched across the table, moving aside a paper to view a post-it note. The coldness with which she’d moved on felt like further bait, but something that Ellie chose not to take. She couldn’t help but imagine how practiced Tess was at getting a rise out of Alec with her barbs. Now that Tess had to know where she stood, Ellie was more than willing to trade passive aggressive digs with her as they looked over notes from opposite sides of the table. Ellie took some satisfaction in Tess being the first to yawn, offering to make the next round of tea as they worked, acting as if nothing had happened. She intentionally tried to make it as strong as Alec’s tea, conceding a point to Tess when she drank hers without a hint of acknowledgement.
***
At around 2am, Alec stumbled out of bed. Ellie and Tess were both clearly tired, perhaps more invested in the subtle competition of waiting for the other to break than in a recap of the geography surrounding the river. Neither noticed he was up until he let out a soft grunt as he bumped into the wall.
Ellie watched Tess jump up and spin around. She didn’t try to suppress the look of horror on her face. Alec had looked unwell, tired, in pain, or some combination of the three since the first day she’d met him. Somehow, he looked worse. The little bit of color that had returned to his cheeks in the hospital was gone. His hair stuck up at angles that rivaled anything the wind was capable of doing with it. Alec’s eyes squeezed shut in a grimace and he made a choked, whimpering sound as he nearly crumpled to the floor. Tess caught him, seemingly touching him as little as it took her to keep him upright. Conversely, he tried to lean against her, as if he was accepting a hug that he wasn’t actually receiving.
“His shoulder,” Ellie warned, realizing he’d knocked into the wall on his left side. Given Alec’s reaction, it must have been excruciating.
“Alec, get back to bed,” Tess tried to angle him back toward the other room.
Alec opened his eyes a crack, trying to straighten up out of what grasp she did have on him. He mumbled something, all Scottish vowels and marbles, waving his arm in the general direction of the bathroom.
“Be careful,” Tess let go. Alec staggered off, cradling his arm.
“You’re not going to follow?” Ellie asked. She didn’t want to do it, but she felt that one of them should make sure he was okay. Even if he didn’t remember any of this in the morning, she would still need to be able to look him in the eye without being haunted by that. She shuddered at the thought, feeling very strongly that if anyone was going to help him use the bathroom, it should be the woman who’d at least seen it all before, not her.
“I’ll go get him if he’s not out in 5 minutes,” Tess dramatically sighed at her watch. Ellie’s lip curled in disgust. Tess sounded more like she was referring to fetching a child refusing to get out of bed for school than a middle-aged man impaired by painkillers and recovering from a surgical procedure. One that he had been sure would kill him, Ellie reminded herself. Despite her anger at him for sending a text only after he’d learned he survived, the relief in his voice had not been entirely lost on her.
At around the four minute mark, Alec emerged from the bathroom. He stopped for a moment, squinting as he swayed. Ellie held back the urge to wrap an arm around his waist and tuck him back into bed. In his thin t-shirt and baggy pyjama pants, he reminded her of Tom wandering into her bedroom after getting sick in the middle of the night. Tess grabbed him instead. Dazed and groggy, he hadn’t been expecting it and she almost caused him to fall. Ellie winced. Again, he leaned into Tess, visibly craving to be held. This time, Tess let him. She whispered something in his ear that Ellie couldn’t hear, rubbing his back for a brief moment. Over Tess’s shoulder, Ellie could see his face contorting in another grimace. He looked, to her, as though he was about to start weeping.
“Alright, back to bed,” Tess said, much louder. Alec turned on his own, his balance still terribly affected by the medication.
“Where were we,” Tess quickly changed gears, back to Sandbrook.
Ellie pointed back to the map, casting a sideways glance past Tess and into Alec’s bedroom. He was lying on his back underneath his blanket pulled up to his chest. Ellie was relieved to see the raw vulnerability gone from his face, replaced by the neutral expression of sleep.