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Lohen was, in many respects, a master of combat. His prowess with the lance could not be debated, lest one wanted to find themselves staring down the mist-shrouded tip of his spear. While he was exceedingly strong, he also harbored a skillset that was incredibly flexible; allowing him to impart on missions of espionage, intel-gathering, and enemy supply chain disruptions with practiced ease.
There wasn’t much that Lohen couldn’t handle in his daily work. Take a letter to the Honorary Knight? Sure. Train the rookies in hand-to-hand combat? Bring it on. Face down the Wild Hunt in Nod-Krai? They’d better hope they didn’t land in his sights.
Talk to the cute librarian girl that had been running through his mind for the past week like its free real estate?
Pft. Talk about easy. No problemo. Certainly not a difficult task at all.
“Hello, Vice Captain,” you said, your eyes trained on his without a shred of hesitation. “Can I help you find something?”
“Find something?” he replied, blinking. Then, with a start, “Oh, you mean, like…like a book, right?”
You blinked. “Er, yes. This is a library, so…”
He heard the lilting of Lisa’s laughter behind him, but when he whipped around to glare at her, she casually strode out of earshot. Her heels clicked into the upper floor, punctuating Lohen’s excruciatingly long, stifling silence.
His plan had been simple: walk into the library and just talk to you. He figured the rest would come naturally, like how his instincts took hold of him in the middle of a fight, telling him how to move, and when to do it. Lohen was not a coward, and he wasn’t scared of you, so talking to you should have been easy. Light work. As simple as breathing.
Still, he was fumbling.
“A book,” he said, one corner of his mouth curling up in an awkward smile. “I mean, I don’t…I don’t really read, so…I dunno.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck—why was that the best he could manage? Why did he sound like such a bumbling idiot?
Your expression turned grave. Clutching your book to your chest, you said, “Please don’t tell me you’re here to pull a prank on me. Or to poison me. Or whatever else it is that you torment the others with.”
“What?” he asked, wincing. “No, I’m not here for that. Trust me—if I wanted to poison you, you’d be vomiting your guts out in medical by now!”
He laughed, but you didn’t. Perhaps he had stuck his foot in his mouth with that one, because you withdrew even further into yourself, your jaw unhinged. Your eyes were flicking between him and the staircase, like you were trying to find a route for escape.
While he kinda didn’t mind that, it definitely wasn’t his intention. Snapping his cackling maw shut, he felt his throat squeeze.
“A book,” he sputtered. “I’m here for a book.”
“O…kay…” you replied slowly. “Um…what kind of book…?”
(Think, Lohen, think. You haven’t read anything since your parents forced those fairytale books on you when you were a kid. If you go saying something like ‘The Belle and the Behemoth’, she’ll laugh at you. That wouldn’t be cool at all, so think, goddammit, think. Something cool!)
“Sex,” he blurted. “A book about sex. ‘Cause I’m, like…the sex master. Yeah.”
You looked embarrassed. “I’m…afraid we don't have any books like that here, Vice Captain…”
“Oh.” He crossed his arms over his chest, pensive. What else was he a self-proclaimed master of? “Murder?”
“Are you referring to murder mystery novels?”
“Huh? No, like, a book on murder. As in, how to do it. Preferably detailing various methods.”
You winced. “We don’t have books like that either…”
“What?” he replied, one eye twitching. “How boring. What the hell do you guys even have, then?”
“Um, normal books?” You flipped the book in your grasp around, showing him the title. “For example, this is a fictional novel titled Fate’s Glimmer. It's the long-awaited series of an Inazuman author who’s been quite popular in Mondstat as of late. It’s new, so I ordered it to be expressly delivered from Yae Publishing House, and I—. Um.”
You hesitated, your eyes falling to your desk. Repeatedly, you tapped your thumbs together over your bridged hands.
“Sorry, I’m oversharing. And we honestly have more nonfiction than fiction, so…I probably should have started with that.”
Halfway through your ramble, Lohen’s heart had started to act up. It was pounding like it did when he was on the battlefield, cutting down foe after foe with each swing of his lance—not like he was attempting to communicate with a pretty girl in the Mondstat Library. Why did he feel such strain? Furthermore, why did that strain come with such joy?
He turned away from you, a light touch of warmth settling across his face. He lifted a finger, pointing at the book in your hands. “Do you…have any other copies of that one?”
“Of…of Fate’s Glimmer? You…want to read it?”
He chanced a glance back your way, but he really shouldn’t have. You were beaming from ear-to-ear, your teeth poking through your radiant smile, and with your big, shimmering eyes, you said, “I actually ordered two copies! Just in case anyone else wanted to read it at the same time as me! It’s really good, I swear!”
He was having palpitations. Stammering through his sentence, he replied, “U-um, I, uh, yeah! Yeah, I…definitely wanna read that. Fate’s Shimmer…or whatever it is.”
“Glimmer,” you corrected him, still smiling. “Here, I’ll check out a copy for you right now. Do you have your Knights’ ID on you?”
“Uh, yeah. Here.”
The way your fingers brushed his sent a chill down his spine. Odd, considering that he was rarely susceptible to the cold.
“Here you are, Vice Captain,” you said, holding out a thick book between both hands. “You’ll have to swing by from time to time and let me know what you think of it.”
Swing by from time to time? Wait, did that mean you wanted to see him again? Wait—that meant you were totally into him, weren’t you?
“Heh.” Lohen cracked a grin. “Guess I’ll come by again later, then. Since you asked, and all.”
“That would be wonderful! I’m so curious to hear your thoughts on Act One…there’s such a massive cliffhanger at the end of it! Ah, but I won’t spoil anything.” You smiled, your long lashes fluttering over your bright eyes. Ever so cutely, you said, “Come back soon, won’t you, Vice Captain?”
Lohen was deceased where he stood.
Another routine patrol in Windrise had somehow led him straight into you—and the pack of hilichurls encroaching upon you.
You yelped as you scrambled backwards across the grassy field, your novel splitting open beside you. There was fear in those eyes of yours, which took in the horde before you like they were harbingers of doom. The vision on your hip glinted in the sunlight, but for some reason, you were far too petrified to make use of your only weapon. Ordinarily, a sight like yours would have annoyed Lohen more than anything—what a weak woman—but something about the situation felt just right.
With a chuckle, he crossed the field, brandishing his lance before him. One stroke annihilated the hilichurl in front of you. The second struck the two flanking the first. And on the last stroke, hilichurl blood sprayed into the void, both archers befelled by a single strike. Such easy, light work, yet you weren’t even capable of it. Surely you’d look upon him with admiration, as the valiant knight who came to your rescue.
“Good thing I got here before things took a turn for the worse!” he chirped, pushing his hair back with a rake of his hand. “Not that I would have minded getting the chance to see you beg and plead for your life.”
You gawked at him, your eyes wide. He blinked, his chuckles dying in the wind.
“What?” he asked. “It’s not an insult. I mean…you’d probably look good doing it.”
His face burned, but your silence persisted. You had the same look in your eyes that you had worn when the hilichurls ambushed you, but this time, it was directed at him. Lohen watched as you scrambled further backwards, your dress skirts dragging along the grass beneath you.
“I-I’m not a strong person, you know?!” you squeaked. “Even if you try threatening me…I doubt I could give you the kind of fight you’d enjoy!”
“Wh—? I’m not threatening you! I’m giving you a compliment!”
“Please!” you wailed, your hands pressed to your head, tucking your face towards your knees. “I just wanted to read in peace!”
“What are you getting all freaked out for?” Lohen scoffed. “The hilichurls are dead! Now you can read Fate’s Shimmer all you want.”
“Glimmer!”
“Er, yeah. That.” He lifted his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing awkwardly. “Jeez…would it calm you down if I told you I read the first couple of chapters?”
Immediately, your head sprung up from your hiked knees. Your eyes were wide, and in only a second, it was as though you had no recollection of the panicked state you were in before. You scooped your book out of the grass, smiling from ear to ear, and patted the space beside you.
He looked from your hand to your face repeatedly. Jubilant, you said, “Sit down, then! I want to hear what you think about it so far.”
“Wh…huh?” He pressed his pointer finger to his chest. “You want me…to sit with you?” His eyes flicked upwards. “Under this…giant tree? With…with all the crystalflies floating around and everything?”
“Why, it’s the best place to sit in all of Mondstat. It’s perfect for reading—and for discussions about what we’ve read.”
The way you smiled was wrapping his throat tighter than the choker around his neck. He pulled at it a bit, and blamed the heat bathing his cheeks on the blazing sun overhead. Perhaps in response to his desperation, he was blessed by an incoming bout of pure anemo.
Dandelion spores washed through the air. They danced along the wind, and as they floated around your face, surrounding you like a feathery halo, you grinned with your teeth and laughed.
His heart was doing that irrational pounding again. Like he hadn’t just fought some low-level churls. Like he was in Nod-Krai, fighting with Varka and the others, half-conscious and two wrong steps away from death.
A spore flew into Lohen’s nose.
“Achoo!”
His shoulders jerked with his sneeze. He sniffled, rubbing his finger under his dripping nose, and you ever so sweetly said, “Bless you.”
He was suffocating and suffering cardiovascular collapse at the same time. Ironically, it felt kinda good.
“Come on,” you said, your hand still extended beside you. “Sit with me, won’t you, Vice Captain?”
He swallowed.
“Just call me Lohen.”
He wasn’t expecting to come across you in Varka’s office of all places.
“—please?” you were saying when Lohen opened the door. “I really want to see the flora for myself! It would help me visualize it so much better!”
Varka was grimacing. When he and Lohen met eyes, the Grand Master perked up and lifted a hand in greeting.
“Hey, Lohen!” he exclaimed. “You actually came like I asked you to! Good job, sport!”
Lohen rolled his eyes, but he was more focused on you than Varka. You were wringing your hands together, your shoulders rife with tension. Just like always, you had that thick novel of yours at your hip.
“Sorry,” you said. “I know you’re busy, Varka. It’s a silly request anyway, so I’ll just go.”
“Wait,” Lohen said, turning to track you as you made for the door. “Library girl. What were you two talking about?”
He didn’t really care that you had made a request of Varka and not of him, but he still wanted to know. For some reason.
“Oh, I…” You looked back at Varka, then at Lohen. Shaking your head, you said, “Don’t worry about it, Vice Captain. It sounds like you two have a pre-arranged meeting, so…I won’t interrupt you.”
“The meeting can wait,” Lohen said, following you out the door (which prompted a loud “Hey!” from Varka). “And didn’t I tell you to just call me Lohen?”
“You…did,” you mumbled. “Sorry, I’m just not used to it. I never really call anyone by name.”
His brows furrowed. “But you just called the Grand Master ‘Varka’.”
“Um. Yes.”
You continued pacing towards the library, and blatantly on the pursuit, Lohen followed you. As you both crossed the headquarter’s main foyer, one behind the other, Lohen could feel the stares and hear the whispers.
“Should we help her…?” someone mumbled.
Ignoring them, Lohen asked, “Why are you running away from me?”
“I’m not,” you said, but the way your shoulders were up by your ears as your heels played staccato beats across the floor told a different story. “I’m just getting back to work.”
Lohen’s eyes narrowed. His gaze fell to your swinging arms, and when you tried to escape behind a bookcase, he grabbed your wrist.
You stopped suddenly, turning to look at him with wide eyes. His hand burned around your wrist, like you were possessed by the power of pyro. Quickly, he released you.
“...Sorry,” he said. “Seriously, though, what were you trying to say back there? Something about flora?”
“It’s silly,” you replied quickly. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to bug you with something like this, Vice Captain—.”
“Lohen.”
“...Lohen.”
It fell from your lips, soft. It tickled the rims of his ears. You glanced up at him, rubbing your arm.
“It’s really childish,” you said. “And it would be a waste of the Knights of Favonius’s resources. I only asked Varka because I knew he wouldn’t laugh at me.”
“I’m not gonna laugh at you.”
Hesitation was written clearly across your face. After a beat, you visibly swallowed.
“I…want to go to Dragonspine,” you explained to him. “I’ve gotten to Act Two of Fate’s Glimmer, and it takes place in a snowy region similar to it. There’s some descriptive bits of ecology that I can’t quite picture, so I was hoping that if I went and saw it…I would be a little more immersed.”
Your voice fell to a mumble by the end of your sentence. Lohen raised an eyebrow.
“You went to the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius…because you wanted to see flowers in Dragonspine?”
You buried your face in your palms. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you, Vice Captain.”
“Stop calling me that,” he groaned. “And I’m not laughing at you, am I? I’m just trying to figure out where Varka fits into this.” He paused. “You…seeing him or something?”
“Huh?” You looked up from your hands with a wince. “No, no—what? Varka’s practically like a father to me. Or…maybe an older brother. I’ve known him for a long time, that's all.”
“Oh. I see.” Lohen crossed his arms. “So…flowers in Dragonspine. You couldn’t even fight to save your life back in Windrise. Don’t think much would change over some flowers.”
“That’s why I was asking Varka,” you mumbled. “But he’s really busy. So is Lisa. And I don’t know the other knights well enough to have the courage to ask…”
“I’ll go with you.”
Silence fell between you both. The longer you stared at him, the hotter Lohen’s face became.
“What, you don’t want me to?” he asked. “‘Cause I’m a busy guy and all, so—.”
“No, no!” You held your hands out, taking a step towards him. Your eyes held fast to his as you said, “I’m just…really happy that you would offer.”
Someone really needed to open a window in the library or something, because all of a sudden it was stifling. Awkwardly, Lohen laughed and threw his gaze to the books that encased you.
“I just think it would be interesting,” he chattered. “Seeing you running around in the snow. Getting chased by monsters, I mean. Probably even begging me to help you…haha…”
Slowly, he pressed his palm to his smoldering face. The image of you running from a cryo abyss mage with your book clutched to your chest, wailing for him to save you, was a bit more enticing than he had thought it would be.
“…I’m so determined to go that I’ll choose to ignore that. When are you free?”
“When do you want to go?” he said, to the books.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
“Lohen—tomorrow I want you to lead the training exercises for the rookies in the 7th Company—.”
“Tomorrow sounds great,” he said, waving the echo of Varka’s voice from his mind. “Yep. I’m totally free.”
“R-really?” You were smiling again, wrecking his heart again. “Then…let’s go! It’ll be great for you too, so that when you get to Act Two, you’ll know exactly what the flowers look like.”
Staring into your eyes, he mumbled, “Yeah…I bet they’re pretty.”
“Me too!”
Snapping out of his deluge, Lohen stood upright again. Taking stilted steps to face away from you, he rather stiffly said, “Meet me here at nine, then. Don’t be late, or I’ll set a trap for you at every step of the way in Dragonspine. And trust me—you wouldn’t like that!”
“I’ll be here,” you replied, your voice warm. “Thank you again, Vice—...Lohen.” You laughed. “Thanks, Lohen.”
With his ears burning hot, he gave you a curt nod.
You stood in a field of tiny blue flowers, and with your hands cupped around a cluster of luminescent bulbs, you said, “They’re beautiful.”
Lohen stared after your back, watching the sway of your hair in the frigid winds. You turned to face him with a smile hotter than crimson agate, warming straight through his core when you asked, “Don’t you think so, Lohen?”
“...Yeah,” he said, his eyes flicking away from yours. “Really beautiful.”
“I can see how this would have laid such a romantic scene for the main characters. As gelid as these winds are, and as withered as the trees appear to be…there are still intimate spots of beauty like this.” You grinned. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?”
“Mhm. Something like that.”
You laughed, kneeling down to observe the flowers. The fact that such a simple, boring thing could bring so much joy to your face was oddly…humbling. He struggled to understand whether you acted this way because of your weakness, or if finding pleasure in the banal was instead your strength.
Wooo…
An increasingly cold wind swept by, and by the sound of its pitch, Lohen could sense danger on the horizon. Immediately on high alert, he brandished his lance, his eyes navigating the thickening snow for the source of the threat.
“Library girl,” he said. “Get up.”
“Huh? Is something wrong—?”
“Oh shit,” he said, his eyes widening. “Run, run, run!”
As he tackled into you, hooking his arm under yours to pull you along, you let out a surprised yelp. The thickening snow was approaching faster, and by the timbre of the wind accompanying it, he could tell that a wave of white-out was about to occur. This far into the mountains with you, he didn’t have the luxury to enjoy battling the stinging cold and burying himself out of avalanches with his bare hands. Not when you were involved.
He practically dragged you into a nearby cave, lurching into a dark and cavernous space that was just big enough for the two of you. You stumbled onto your hands and knees when he stopped, your back heaving up and down with air-starved breaths.
“You…! You run really fast…!”
He winced. “Er. Sorry?”
“It’s…it’s okay.” You rolled over into a sitting position, sighing. “Though I can’t lie…I nearly had a heart attack when you told me to run. It’s not like you to sound so scared about something.”
Scared? He hadn’t felt anything similar to fear in a long time. He just didn’t like the thought of losing you in the middle of a snowstorm, you with your vision, which was practically just an accessory for you. A pretty one that complimented your skin, but still.
With a grunt, Lohen lowered himself to the ground beside you. Outside the hollow of the cave, the snow piled faster than torrential rain. As he watched it fall, he propped his chin in his hand. Taking a glance at you, he said, “We’ll just have to lay low for a while. Once the blizzard passes, we’ll head for the foot of the mountain.”
You nodded. Content with that, Lohen turned his focus to the mouth of the cave once more.
And then it was quiet. Just you and him, sitting beside each other in the snug little cave, silent. As time stretched on, a gnawing feeling ate away at him like a munching caterpillar. He drummed his fingers against his knee, tried to focus on the petrous patterns of the walls. Anything to distract himself.
“...Phoo,” you breathed all of a sudden.
Lohen turned, and as soon as he took you in, his eyes widened. Your body was trembling as you wrapped your arms around your legs, your teeth chattering audibly against the hollow walls of the cave. He glanced at the snowstorm outside, then back at you, and acutely realized that you did not possess his nigh-invincible level of immunity to the cold.
Quietly, he slipped his coat off his shoulders, taking his cape alongside it. Quieter still, he dumped it into your lap. When you looked up at him, he tried not to return your gaze, lest the flames in his cheeks decide to smolder any hotter.
He heard the rustle of fabric. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you lay his coat over top of yourself.
“Thank you,” you murmured.
He turned his head even further, smirking at the wall. “No big deal.”
“How are you so unfazed by this? It’s f-freezing.”
“Uh, cryo vision, remember?”
“W-well yes, but still.” You shuddered, letting a breath out with it. “I have a vision, but…it doesn’t make me any less sensitive to my element.”
“Probably ‘cause you never even use it,” Lohen drawled. Turned away from you like this, it was a bit easier to talk to you. “Got blessed by the Gods and you spend all your time reading novels. Isn’t that boring?”
“Hm…let me ask you the same question, then. You spend all your time playing tricks on your colleagues and eliminating the enemy, yes? Don’t you find it boring to not have…well…a real hobby?”
“Huh? Those are totally real hobbies, though.”
“I’m quite sure if we went around asking the other knights what their hobbies are,” you laughed, “they would not include poisonings and murder. Aside from that, what do you like to do, Lohen?”
He tapped his finger against his cheek repeatedly, frowning at the wall. If you took away his tasteful pranks and his insatiable bloodlust, then he was left with…
“Well,” he stammered. “Uh. I guess…I did read a bit of that book. So reading?”
“As happy as I am that you’ve made progress, I think it’s a bit early to label that as a hobby.”
His brows furrowed. “What do you even consider a hobby?”
“Something you do for fun. But, it’s also something you can do with others. Safely.”
“I always see you reading by yourself, though.”
You let out a close-lipped laugh. He heard you shuffling, then felt the warmth of your arm against his. Quickly, his head snapped to yours, and with your arms poking out through the gaps of his coat, thick novel bound to both hands, you asked, “Why don’t we read together, then?”
“Wait. Slow down.”
A laugh. “You can’t handle this?”
“Fuck no. Just slow down.”
Lohen’s brows were furrowed, his eyes struggling to absorb the text as fast as yours were. You laughed when you reversed the page, bringing him back to the sentence he was at before your rude interruption. He lifted his finger to the paper, mumbling the words under his breath as he searched for the right paragraph.
“...Ah,” he said. “That one.”
“Oh, that’s when the heroine meets the male lead. You like that part?”
“Well. Kinda.” Lohen shrugged. “He’s, like, a super cool war general, right? Stronger than a thousand troops.”
Your smile curled further upwards. “He is. I suppose he does sound like your kind of character.”
“...What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” you answered. “Just that, well. You’re an incredibly strong man yourself. In a way, you remind me of him.”
“...Oh, yeah? What kinda way?”
You blinked, and ever so quickly, snapped your head away from his. Stammering, you said, “N-nevermind.”
“Huh?” Lohen raised an eyebrow. “Wait…are you embarrassed?”
“No,” you said stiffly.
He smirked. “Looks like you’re embarrassed to me. You thinking something weird about me, library girl?”
“N-no,” you repeated, shaking your head. “And please stop calling me library girl.”
“But you never told me your name, library girl.”
“Ugh, I…” You brought a hand to your head, rubbing it furiously. “It’s because it’s embarrassing. Actually, you know what? Just keep calling me library girl.”
“Well, now I really wanna know.” He pressed closer to you, his shoulder touching yours. “What’s your name?”
“Library girl,” you mumbled.
“As far as I can tell, this snowstorm isn’t stopping any time soon. You really think you can get away with keeping your little secret until it stops?”
“I can try.”
“I doubt you’ll be very successful.”
Your eyes flicked to his. He froze where he sat, realizing just how close your faces had become. This close to you, he could count each and every one of those pretty eyelashes you had, take note of the exact millimeter measurements of your round pupils.
You looked conflicted about it, but after a brief pause, you acceded to his request.
“It’s not the name I go by,” you said in a mumble. “It just happens to be my Mondstatian one. My parents believed in Barbatos’s principle of giving children the freedom to name themselves…so I was hardly old enough to speak when I picked it.”
“Hm. Sounds like a bad idea.”
“It really was. Because I was so young, I decided I wanted to be called…”
You said it, but it was in such a low mutter that he had to crane his ear closer. Brows furrowed, he said, “Huh?”
“B…” You were sheepish. “Bun…ny.”
Lohen’s eyes widened.
“You’re fucking with me.”
“This is why I don’t tell anyone—.”
“You went and named yourself ‘Bunny’?” he asked, snorting. “You mean you have to sign that on your papers and everything every time you want to travel? Stamp all your official letters with it? That’s hilarious!”
“I know!” you complained, your brows furrowed. “You don’t have to remind me!”
“Sorry, that’s just…!” He leaned his head back, laughing. “It’s just so ridiculous! I can’t believe anyone would let their kid name themselves that!”
You let out a groan, plopping your face into your palms. Glaring at the mouth of the cave, you growled, “Why did I even tell you?”
Lohen’s laughs slowed down, and with a swipe of his finger under his eyes, he brought his amused tears away. Observing your frustrated expression with a smile, he scoffed through his nose.
“Oh, don’t be so embarrassed about it. Everyone I know loves bunnies! Especially me.”
You shot him a look, then shuffled a touch away from him. When he realized how honestly he had spoken, his cheeks flared with warmth.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, the corner of his grin twitching. “Don’t look at me like I’m a weirdo.”
You shuffled even further. Obstinately, he shuffled right back next to you.
“I thought you were cold,” he said.
“I’m very much warm now, thank you.”
“Then can I have my coat back?”
“...No.”
You didn’t move away from him this time. That fact alone gave him goosebumps—and also went straight to his head.
“Aren’t I warm?” he murmured, ignoring the flames that erupted in his face because of it. “Huh, Bunny?”
You went ramrod stiff. He adored that.
“Bunny,” he drawled. “Silence isn’t exactly an answer, you know?”
“Wh-what is wrong with you?” you asked. “Is this…your way of messing with me?”
“Huh. Well, I guess it’s one of the only ways I can. You’d probably die of a heart attack if I tried anything else. You know, just like how bunnies fall over at any and everything.”
“I wish I never told you,” you said, your eyes pressed closed. “I really wish I never did.”
“Definitely going to use it to mess with you from now on.”
“I can see that.”
He snorted. “Guess some things are better kept a secret, huh?”
You paused. Turning those eyes of yours onto his, the ones that he’d study forever if you’d let him, you softly said, “No, it’s only fair. It’s easier to communicate when I know your name and you know mine.”
Easier to communicate, huh?
He had only just realized it, but he was cracking jokes and talking to you like normal now. Was this sense of closeness brought on by Dragonspine, which forced even the most seasoned of adventurers to form alliances to weather its storms? Was it a fleeting moment of warmth, a kindle of flame that would extinguish underneath the thick blanket of snow as soon as you parted ways? What was this feeling in his chest that plucked his heart strings, that made him feel nothing but a hollow ache when he thought of leaving you?
“...Are you scared?”
Your voice cut through the silence. You lifted a hand, hesitated, then slowly placed it over top of his.
“Wh…what,” he sputtered, his arm stiffening, “are you doing? I’m not fucking scared. I’m the Vice Captain of the 5th Company, remember? I’m practically stronger than a whole platoon.”
“This part of you reminds me of the character in the novel,” you murmured. Your hand rubbed the back of his, wringing a strangled noise from his throat. “When confronted with fear…challenged by an invisible threat that you can’t wrap your hands around…you try to flee. You’re not very honest with yourself, are you, Lohen?”
Your hand was on his. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? For you to touch him and talk to him like you were his? Why did he feel so bittersweet about how it was proceeding?
He blurted his thoughts as they occurred. “I’m embarrassed as shit. I was hoping this would be…that I’d be cooler. But I think I’m gonna have a stroke if you keep touching me.”
“Aren’t I warm, though?” you crooned back, your mockery setting him ablaze. “Huh, Lohen?”
“Fuck,” he stammered, pressing his palm to his face. “You’re as much of a little shit as I am.”
You laughed. “That’s a good thing then, isn’t it? Maybe you and I aren’t so different after all.”
Your fingers curled through the gaps of his. His shoulders jumped, but you squeezed hard.
“Thanks for taking me to Dragonspine,” you said. “It was very kind of you.”
He had no words. All Lohen could manage was a stilted nod of his head.
“Want to read some more?” you asked. “You turn the pages this time?”
“...Sure,” he mumbled.
You brought the novel back, flipping it open and bracing it halfway on your leg, halfway on his. With your hands still joined, you used your left to manipulate the pages, and with Lohen’s right, he smoothed the bunny ear in the paper back into place.
The snow outside fell soft now, the blizzard having ended long ago. Still remaining side by side in the intimacy of that bountiful cave, you continued to enjoy each other’s company as though you had all the time in the world.
For the first time in a long time, Lohen didn’t mind taking things slow and easy. Not when it was something he could enjoy with you.