Work Text:
The following is a transcription of an audio recording made as the power at [Redacted] went out, around 3:12 PM. It was recorded on a cassette tape on a portable cassette recorder.
[START OF RECORDING]
Barry Shitpeas: “Is this thing on?”
[Sounds of static and rustling.]
Barry: “Oh shit, it is. Right, right. The name’s Bazza, M.C. Bazza S, and no, Charlie, it’s not a lame name, you just have no taste. This is my first tape, and I’m going to do some rap and shit. Hell yeah, let’s go.”
[Light rustling and sounds of buttons pressing.]
Barry: “This is my first song and only song so far: Peaches and Spices.”
[A generic drum loop plays, unfitting for rap.]
Barry: “Uh. Uh. Uh. I got a-”
[Sound of door opening.]
Unknown staff member: “Mr. Shitpeas-”
Barry: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll be out in 5 minutes.”
Unknown staff member: “Thank you.”
[Sound of door closing.]
Barry: “Fuck. That disrupted my flow. (Rhyming) But, I didn’t reserve this room, so I guess that means I gotta go-”
[Music is cut off.]
Barry: “Oh, who the fuck?”
[Sounds of buttons clicking]
Barry: “What…”
[Sound of door opening]
Charlie Brooker: “Hey, power's out.”
Barry: “Wow, seriously? I didn't notice.”
Charlie: “Well, they probably aren't going to get it fixed for another hour, best case scenario. That also means we’re locked in the building.”
Barry: “What? Are you joking me? Shit, where’s Philomena?”
Charlie: (Laughs) “Of course you’re looking for her in a time of crisis.”
Barry: “Shut up.”
Charlie: “You only fully met her 2 weeks ago, you know.”
Barry: “And? I can worry about a friend without making it weird.”
Charlie: “Ah- Hm… Nevermind. She’s down the hall looking for you.”
Barry: “Whatever.”
[Light sounds of walking]
Charlie: “Oh, he left this on.”
[Click]
[END OF RECORDING]