Chapter Text
01:00
“Is everyone here?” Mizuki asked, enthusiastically.
Maybe too enthusiastically, in fact.
“I’m here,” Ena replied, sounding pretty much half-dead. “K, are you there?”
“I am. Mafuyu's not here, though. She has an important test tomorrow, so she decided to go to bed early,” Kanade said.
“Got it.”
“As expected of our Yuki. At least one of us has to not be a lazy bum when it comes to our studies,” Mizuki joked.
The other two in the call remained silent.
“Oh come on!” Mizuki sulked after a few too many seconds without a reply. “You guys aren't even going to pretend to laugh? Politeness be damned, I guess.”
“Mizuki, I'm going to be completely honest with you, I don't have the energy for that right now.” Ena replied.
“Sorry, Mizuki, I forgot to laugh.” Kanade said, in her usual too honest tone. Mizuki wasn't sure if that made it better or if it only hurt her more.
“Geez, okay, no fun allowed.”
"I didn't say that.”
“Nuh-uh, that's exactly what you implied.”
“That's really not it, though…”
“Ah, geez, Mizuki,” Ena interrupted them. “It wasn't that funny. Can we start already? You could at least not be a lazy bum when it comes to our work.”
“K, you're seeing that? Enanan just called me a lazy bum!”
“I literally just repeated what you said! You called yourself a lazy bum before I did!”
“That's so mean…” Mizuki fake sobbed. “Enanan’s always bullying me.”
“You, seriously…” Ena said.
“Uh…” Kanade awkwardly gave them a small laugh. “That's not really nice, Ena. But, Mizuki, you did call yourself that before Ena did.”
“K~! There’s a biiig difference between self-deprecation and insulting others~!” Mizuki whined.
“... I suppose. I can't really see it in this case, though,” Kanade replied.
“Look at what you're doing, Amia. Making K play the peacemaker as if we were two Kindergarteners…” Ena airily sighed. “Don't you feel a little ridiculous?”
“I do, but it's worth it. Heh.”
Ena stared at her computer screen. “Anyway, I’m muting. I really want to get this drawing over with, it's taking way too long.”
“Good luck, Enanan.” Kanade said. “I too am going to mute myself, then. Mafuyu gave me the lyrics for our new song earlier today since she wasn’t going to be able to make it tonight, so I want to focus on finishing the arrangement.”
“... Uhm. Guess there's not much for me to do today, then. You guys mind if I just put on a show and watch it, or something?”
“Go ahead, just remember to mute yourself too. Not sure if I wanna hear a bunch of magical girls fighting in the background while I draw.”
“It's fine by me.”
“Okay, okay. I was obviously going to mute too. You don't gotta tell me, Enanan.”
As much as Kanade had said she was going to mute herself to focus on their song, that wasn't entirely true.
Yes, she was working— when was she not, to be fair. But her mind couldn't be more distant from their work than it currently was.
And she felt a little (very) embarrassed by what was distracting her.
“Do you two…” Kanade unmuted herself, mumbling into her microphone without much thought. The green lines around her icon blinked as they picked up the sound. “Do you two know how to tell if someone is, uh, gay?”
As Mizuki also unmuted herself to reply, Kanade heard a loud thud.
“What happened?” Ena asked, startled.
“I kicked my table! Accidentally!!” Mizuki exclaimed. “More importantly, what was that?!”
“Mizuki, are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. But that's not important right now! Kanade, what was that?!”
“Uh…”
“Did I miss something?” Ena said, unamused. “I wasn't wearing my headphones for a while because I forgot to put them on after leaving to grab some water from the kitchen.”
“Kanade just asked how she could tell if someone is gay.”
“Huh?!”
“Can you two calm down, please…”
“You can't just drop a bomb on us like that and then ask us to calm down!”
“Mizuki's right, K. That was really out of nowhere. Like, out of absolute nowhere. Are you interested in someone? Is that why you want to know?”
“Yeah! Do we know who it is?”
“No, no. I'm not interested in anyone. I'm just curious…” Kanade weakly denied it.
“Okay, so who is it?”
“I'm really not interested in anyone…”
“I know. But you're still asking because you're curious about someone, aren't you?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then, who is it?”
Kanade sighed, deflating. She might not be known for being the most energetic person, but still, giving in so easily only added to her embarrassment. “... Mafuyu.”
“Oh.”
Both girls hummed, almost in unison.
That made a lot of sense. Of course it was Mafuyu.
Mizuki was about to open her mouth to say something, but she decided to stop herself. Kanade clearly needed some help if she was seriously trying to figure out whether Mafuyu was gay, the teasing could always wait.
“That's difficult, huh… well, it depends. There's a lot of different ways to figure out if someone is gay.”
“Yeah, there isn't really a formula to determine it or anything. I mean, Mizuki was able to figure out I was a lesbian pretty much only by the way I dress.” Somehow, Ena muttered the last part under her breath. The soft scratching of her stylus dragging across her tablet could be heard in the background.
“It was very much not just by the way you dress!” Mizuki interjected, in the same tone a reality show host would use to indicate someone had won the big prize. If they were on a video call, she would've probably have been pointing a finger at Ena. “Ena, you're probably the biggest misandrist I’ve ever met!”
“Excuse me?”
“You're excused. Anyway, don't you remember what it was that made me ask if you were a lesbian?”
Ena seemed to stop in her tracks, as if her brain was trying to forcefully pull the memory from inside its depths, despite everything else in her being against that. She shuddered. “Ugh, don't remind me. It was embarrassing. I totally thought you were going to make fun of me at the time.”
“Mizuki?” Kanade asked, surprised. “Make fun of you?”
“So you see, K,” Mizuki laughed. “Our Enanan here doesn't have the best… what we call it, gaydar.”
“Because that doesn't exist!” Ena protested.
“It does exist, because I was able to figure you out oh-so easily.” Mizuki mischievously laughed again as she spoke the last few words in a sing-song voice. Kanade could practically hear Ena seething on the other side of the screen. “And let’s just say she can’t exactly control the disgust showing on her face when she’s feeling grossed out.”
“Mizuki. Stop that.”
Ena hid her face against the table. Not that it made any difference, since, again, they weren't on a video call. But it's the intention that counts.
“What do you mean?” Kanade asked.
“Wait a bit.”
The fast tapping of keyboard keys came through Mizuki's microphone, followed by the beginning of a song Kanade could only describe as theatrical.
“Oh, come on!” Ena let out a groan that was muffled by her desk and the flute sounds coming from the call.
“Sorry!” Mizuki rapidly apologized, though it was easy to infer that the apology had no intention of anything other than further pushing Ena’s buttons. “Okay, listen up, Kanade. This one is good.”
“Ah, and keep in mind this was only the breaking point!” She added. “I could go on and on for hours about every little detail that made me suspect Ena’s a lesbian before that.”
Kanade hummed in agreement, though uncertain if she actually wanted to hear it.
“So, when we first began to hang out,” Mizuki started. “Ena avoided the cinema like the plague! I obviously had no idea why, right? I invited her like a thousand times, and she just wouldn't budge. Eventually I gave up, mostly since going to a place where only one of us would have fun wasn't worth it, but also because it felt like the glare Ena would give me every time I asked would end up burning a hole through my head.
“A few months later, though, a romance movie came out. It was trending on social media, and since I had mostly forgotten about Ena's burning hatred for the cinema, I invited her to go watch it with me. Of course, she glared at me again. But before I could apologize and say that I had forgotten she didn't like going to the movies, to my surprise, she accepted it! I was really excited, right? I mean, that was a novelty. Even if she just accepted it so she would be able to post about the movie on social media after. I even tried on a new hairstyle and dressed up in the Ank Rouge set I had just bought!
“So okay, the day arrives, we're at the cinema, it's all going moderately well. Ena looks a bit annoyed, but it's nothing concerning.
“The movie starts, and for the first few minutes or so, it's only the female lead on screen. I look at her, who's sitting beside me, she looks fine. Enjoying the movie, even.
“The moment,” Mizuki stopped to catch her breath, audibly trying not to wheeze. “The literal second the male lead appeared, Enanan's face did a complete 180°! If we weren't supposed to be quiet, I would've blurted out a ‘huh?!’ so loud you, K, would've probably been able to hear me from your home. I think I even actually blurted that out, just not loudly. It was that surprising! The face she was making, I mean. Not so much her disgust for men.
“Before that I already had a vague idea that she liked girls and wasn't the biggest fan of guys, as I said. The style thing was just one of my hints— to the untrained eye, it might look like she's just another perfectly ordinary straight girl. But to me, an expert, it was obvious that she was a feminine lesbian. Maybe the femininest, lesbianest girl to ever be a femme lesbian!” She declared proudly, giggling.
The call was dead silent. The music had ended at that point, and aside from Mizuki's monologue and the occasional sounds of Ena dying in the background, you could’ve heard a pin drop.
“That’s why when the movie was over, and she still had a deadpan, vaguely grossed out expression on her face, the first thing I did was ask her if she was a lesbian. Although more tactfully than that, of course. I was really careful with my words, because I'm a really good friend, and—!”
“Okay!” Ena loudly drawled. “That's enough, don't you think?!”
“Ehh? But I'm not finished!”
“Yes! Yes you are!”
Just as Mizuki was about to complain again, Kanade's voice came through the call.
“Thank you for the story, Mizuki, Ena.” She said, maybe too cordially for their current circumstances. “I have a question, if that's not a problem.”
“Ask away!” Mizuki excitedly replied.
“No! Yes, I mean— you can ask whatever you want, K, but please direct your question to me. Not at her. Please,” Ena said.
She wasn’t going to make it if another word about her sexuality came out of Mizuki's mouth. God knows what would be her answer to K’s question. God knows what would be K’s question.
“O-okay,” Kanade chuckled. “So, why don't you like going to the cinema, Enanan? I don't think I quite got it from the story. Is it because of the male actors?”
“God, no. That would’ve been an insane reason to avoid the cinema. Men are everywhere, right? It's not like avoiding films with male MC’s would make that much of a difference… I just. Hum. I just don't like the cinema that much, that's all. The excessive air-conditioning is bad for my skin. I guess.”
“I see,” Kanade nodded. “That’s a bit surprising to me, though. I had never noticed you giving anyone a dirty look.”
“Well that's because I obviously don't give random men on the street a dirty look…” she sighed. “I don't give anyone dirty looks, regardless of gender. I just wasn't enjoying the movie, the male lead was annoying, and Mizuki's exaggerating my reaction. That's it.”
“... That's definitely a lie, though. The cinema air-conditioner thing, I mean. That's definitely not the reason you don't like going to the cinema,” Mizuki said.
“Why else do you think I don't like going to the cinema then, Mizuki?” Ena deadpanned.
“I don't know, but that's definitely not it! You're clearly lying.”
“Whether you believe it or not, it doesn't change the fact that it is the reason I don't like going.”
“Sure then,” Mizuki huffed. “I'll get to the bottom of this later. Right now, let's go back to the main topic. Our little tangent has been going on for too long.”
“And whose fault is that?” Ena said.
Mizuki ignored her comment. “So, K, tell us! Why, or why not, do you think Mafuyu's gay?”
“Eh?” Kanade asked, caught off-guard. “No… I don't think anything.”
“Huh? Why did you ask us that, then?” Mizuki inquired back.
“Uhm… Wishful thinking, I guess?” Kanade bashfully admitted, much to Mizuki's amusement. “Not… not for me particularly, I just think it would be great if she was into girls… for…”
She stammered.
“... For science.”
“... For science?” Ena echoed.
“Not for science… uhm, I just think it would be great to Mafuyu if… you know. Self-discovery is always great, especially for Mafuyu,” she nervously said. “Maybe it could have helped her understand herself a little better. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I asked. I always want to know more about her. It's not that it would be great if she was into girls especifically, and I know that's definitely not her top priority right now, just… you two get it.”
“Uhhh? Hehe, is that so?” Mizuki playfully said, not seeking a real answer. “Well, okay. On the other hand, considering it's Mafuyu, it's also likely that she has just as little of a clue as you do.”
“I know that…” Kanade resignedly breathed out.
“Have you tried like...asking her?” Ena said. “It's the easiest way to find out, isn't it?”
“No, there's no way I can ask her.”
“That 's true. K would probably die on the spot if she had to do that, huh?” Ena replied, unsurprised. “I can't think of any other way out, though. Not any that are ethical, or would work with Mafuyu.”
Mizuki hummed. The engines inside her head started rolling, and, as if she had just had the brightest idea in the entire world, she proclaimed: “K might not be able to ask her that, but we can. Right, Enanan?”
“We, as in, me and you?” Ena asked.
“Yup! Me and you!”
“There's no fucking way I'm doing that.”