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White was a star.
That was other people’s words, not theirs. But they never corrected anyone who said it, because they revelled in the idea of it. The idea that they were someone who has reached a substantial level of fame and prosperity to be on a different level to other people, that people have begun to look up to when their presence became known.
Green was one of the main people that had looked up to them. Who had a twinkle in their eye when they looked White’s way, basking in their fortune.
It was only natural, so White didn’t say anything about it. I mean, Green was at the very bottom of the career ladder. Still just scratching the surface when it came to understanding the importance of wealth and prosperity. White thought– of course someone like Green would take an interest in someone like White. Of course they would look up to something so, so far away, and take it in with such awe..
White almost thought that Green was a pitiful thing. It wasn’t everyone who was able to make their way up to White’s status. If it was, then the night sky would be completely dazzled, and no one person would be able to be made out from the bunch. But if that was something they wanted to believe in, telling White about all their future dreams, then White supposed that they could allow them until they got bored of it.
“Oh, White! Do you have a moment?” Green had peeked out from around White’s shoulder, holding a small notepad, “I just remembered something. My mom is actually a really big fan of you. If it wouldn’t be too much to ask, can I get your autograph for when I next see them?”
White paused, glancing down at the pen that was being extended to them. How endearing, “I suppose it’s the least I can do. But you better not lose this– I don’t tend to give hand outs to people.”
“Got it!” Green nodded, and they soon tore the autograph paper from out the notepad, folding it into a tiny square that they put in their pocket. They patted it for good measure, “Thanks, White! They’re gonna love this!”
“Heh. I’m sure they will.” They snorted. Green brisked off in the same direction that White had been going, who walked at a much slower speed. Someone with much less… eager determinism, for a lack of a better phrase.
Although, oddly, that was not the last time that they encountered Green. Though they were aware that they were going to be spending a lot of time in Green’s proximity, they had expected the individual to be considerably less… clingy, and chatty than they actually turned out to be. No matter how unintentional it was, White found themselves interacting with Green quite frequently.
For example:
“I can’t believe this space ship doesn’t have a barista.” White had complained once, into the open as if they were just expecting someone to stop what they were doing and listen to them, “It shouldn’t be this difficult to get a cold brew coffee steamed at 102 with half a cup of almond milk?”
Silence. They didn’t think about the fact that they were the only person on this ship who was there on a completely free ride, so they were the only one with enough time on their hands to even remotely care about something like that. They placed their head on their hand and sighed loudly, intensified by the fact that they were ‘apparently’ being ignored.
“Oh!” They heard a small chirp, glancing over to see Green. They were on the ground scrubbing at a particularly nasty stain left by a belated pizza break, and dropped their rag to pull their notebook from their pocket. They began frantically scribbling something down.
“What are you writing?” White asked, squinting at Green.
“What you just said! Cold brew… steamed…” They murmured after their hand, scratching the ball of their pen against their page, “I don’t have a particularly good memory, so I need to give myself reminders sometimes.”
“And do you have a reminder of where that autograph I gave you is?” White tested.
Green paused and flipped back to one of the other pages, then looked up and nodded enthusiastically, “Yep! In the drawer beside my bed. I thought that if I kept it on me, I might lose it, or it might get ruined if my clothes got dirty. And then I’d have to go back empty handed! So I thought keeping it somewhere safe would make sure nothing happened to it.”
“Right.” White turned away, “Well, whatever works for you. I don’t have that problem. I naturally remember almost everything that people say to me, even if it was ages ago.”
“That sounds nice.” Green commented wistfully.
Some time later, White had been laying on their bed, thinking about how pitiful of a vacation this was. There was nothing around that rewarded them for the ‘winner’ that they were, and not even the basic facilities were particularly pleasant.
But Green was still there.
“Hi!” They appeared in White’s field of vision, holding a mug that said ‘MIRA’s okayest employee'. They actually had quite a few of those, as apparently these and decorative pencils were the go-to MIRA ‘employee of the week’ prizes. Steam gently rose from the deep brown substance in the cup, “I made you a coffee!”
“Really?” They sat up, eyeing the tacky mug.
“Yeah! I didn’t know how to steam it to a particular temperature, but I did my best. I hope it’s okay.” Green said. White eyed the mug for a couple moments more before taking it, sliding some droplets onto their tongue.
“It’s about as much as I’d expected.” They moved the mug down. That wasn’t to say that it was particularly bad. But they can taste that the resources were cheap. Probably the easiest thing for MIRA to buy in bulk. But usually, a lot for a little usually meant that the quality was pretty poor.
Also, they would have much preferred if it was brewed by an actual barista, who understood the concept of steaming. That was just going to have to be something they would put in a complaint about when they were finally done with this expedition.
“Is that a good or a bad thing?” Green asked, confusion prominent in their expression, “I– I can’t exactly tell.”
“I’ll have to make do.” White tsked.
“Alright… well, if you need anything else, I’ll be your guy!” Green informed them.
They were kind of like a superfan, if White had to put a name to it. Taking any information that they had about their idol and completely running away with it, in hopes to get on their good side. But luckily for Green, someone as perfect as White had both good sides, so they didn’t need to worry about anything else. Weren’t they great? Tell them they’re great.
Some of the other people didn’t seem to share the same opinion on the matter. White learned this when Green was passing through the cafeteria as White was eating their personalised Pizza (they kicked up a stink about the fact that they didn’t eat dairy, so the chefs had thrown something at them which didn’t have the normal cheese they put on the other pizzas), and Yellow had started clicking their teeth like they were trying to attract a small animal.
“Green. Hey, Green. Get your little beanie butt over here for a sec.” Yellow instructed, waving a finger towards them. Green looked over their shoulder before turning and trotting up to the counter.
“What’s up? You got any messes in there that need cleaning?” Green asked, trying to peer into the kitchen, “I can be alllll on that in a sec, I just need to get the cobwebs out of the navigation room first.”
“Yeah… Red do really hate spiders.” Yellow commented, sighing, “Look– Green. You know you don’t gotta do all this, right? Doing stuff for people without them asking. There’s not really a hierarchy round here ‘cept for Red and Orange, you gotta scramble around like the dog this company treats interns as.”
“Huh? Oh, that’s not what I’m doing,” Green blinked, “I mean– yeah, definitely. Doing whatever someone on the ship tells me would get me a good recommendation, and I could really use that favour. But mostly… I just like doing it. Everyone around me has always been so helpful to me back at home– I thought that I’d pay it forward. See if that goes anywhere. I like doing it, really.”
“You sure?” Yellow squinted at them, “Well, alright. But you tell me if you need anything.”
“Here.” Brown appeared behind them, holding a gloved fist full of pizza crust, “For you.”
“Oh wow– wow wow wow wow wow! Thank you!” Green squeaked, taking the crusts. They scuttled off towards navigation, holding the crusts like holy grail, “It really does go somewhere! My belly!”
“First person I’ve seen to get so excited over crust.” Brown commented.
The door whizzed shut behind them, leaving White alone with the two chefs in the room. White made a noise.
“You gotta be nicer to that intern.” Yellow said, and White took a few moments to realise that they were talking to them.
“Why me? What did I do?” White furrowed their eyebrows.
“Nothin’, and that’s the problem.” Yellow narrowed their eyes, “You’re not the hotshot that you think you are. Winning that trip could have happened to anyone. And Green ain’t your on hand butler. The least you could do is thank them every once in a while.”
“Why does it matter? They said they want to do this.” White answered, a little disinterested, “Who am I to stop someone from doing what they want to do? It can’t be helped.”
“One of these days, people like Green are going to get real tired of being pushed around.” Yellow mentioned, “And when that day comes, I don’t think you wanna be the person at the top of their list.”
They just didn’t understand it, White thought. From the get-go, Yellow hadn’t been quiet about the fact they opposed the beliefs that White held. But they weren’t essentially a celebrity like White was, they didn’t understand that this was the best way to mitigate fans. In fact, Green may have turned out worse if they didn’t keep letting them do things for them. They were helping.
Red yelped loudly from the hallway and soon ran into the room.
“Hhh… hhh,” They panted, their hands on their knees. They raised their head and saw the three people in the room looking between each other, and stood up straight trying to pretend that hadn’t happened, “Oh… what’s going on here, team?”
“Oh! Red, I’m glad you’re here. I think Yellow was threatening me!” White said, pointing at Yellow as they looked alarmed by the accusation. Brown, the silent observer, pledged their allegiance by looking disturbed on their partner’s behalf.
“We can’t be having that! Tension in the team will drive everyone apart… give me just a moment.” Red turned their back, and it sounded like paper was turning before they pointed a finger in the air as if they came to a revelation, “Sounds like we’re in the need for team bonding exercises! Orange– we need to borrow some of your trust balls!”
Before they knew it, White found themselves blindfolded in the middle of the cafeteria. It didn’t make any sense to them why they were taking part in the team bonding when though they weren’t part of the team, but in any case they were supposed to manoeuvre their way through a maze that the others had set up, using only the instructions that they gave them.
“I’m not too sure about this.” Orange commented, “I don’t know how MIRA would feel if I had to report several work related injuries, all in one evening.”
“Which is why you won’t have to!” Red patted Orange’s shoulder, sounding obviously like they were overcompensating, “Our team will come out of this stronger than ever– and no one will trip up on anything with the guidance of each other!”
Within the same minute, White proceeded to trip over one of the trust balls that were used to mark the perimeter of the maze. Other people’s voices had just made it too hard to hear their own.
“....eeeeee.” Red grimaced, holding onto the uncomfortable tone, “Yipes.”
White laid there on the ground, utterly humiliated.
Everyone in the team had watched them make an utter fool of themselves. They must have looked like a total idiot! Ugh!
That perfect, refined look that they had was surely tainted in the eyes of all of their witnesses. How were they ever supposed to recover from this?
“Don’t look at me!” They exclaimed, noisily distressed. They had no confirmation that anyone was actually looking at them, but that burning feeling in their face made it almost undoubtable that there were eyes on them, “Everyone! Stop looking at me! Look away!”
White didn’t get up, like they had become a mere stain on the floor. Ready to be swept away completely. This floor was actually kind of disgusting, and to have already partially melded with it meant they’re bound to have tracked dirt onto their clothes. Any other option besides letting people see them like that, ruined, would suffice.
Maybe they could fake an injury. Or blame it on the last person who spoke. Something—
Unfortunately, their whole cleaning analogy didn’t work when there was a multipurpose janitor in the bunch. And one who can’t keep their eyes to themselves.
“Ah jeez– oh gosh–” Green fretted, kneeling down and pulling the blindfold off their face, “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, right?”
The world came back in blinding light.
Green was the sun.
That was what White had thought of them as. They were bright, and warm, and they masked the darkness that White shone in. The world that White tried to take advantage of.
Green hadn’t cared about them because they were a star, they cared about them because they were a person. Their focus returning around them, they suddenly saw Green in a different light, and felt this weird indescribable emotion inside of them.
Green wasn’t bothered by the fact that what they knew was tainted. So maybe they weren’t looking at things with magnifying glasses, thinking that the gap between them was way closer than it was. Maybe they were seeing someone eye to eye, the way that they were on this dinky Skeld.
…Why? How? Was there something wrong with them?
“Uh oh… Captain! I think they have a concussion!” Green grabbed White’s shoulders, perturbed by their staring, “Maybe their brain’s bleeding! How do we test for that? Turn around!”
“Relax, Green, we have a perfectly capable doctor on board to check them for any possible injuries.” Red placed a hand on Green’s shoulder, glancing in the direction of Blue, “And for my own sake I really hope they don’t.”
Fortunately they hadn’t had a concussion, though Green had still come to visit them in the infirmary while spouting worries that made them sound like they were going to explode. Somehow, the jittery ball of nerves had ended up okay, though in desperate need of assurance that White wasn’t particularly good at giving.
It turned out, White and Green weren’t so far apart after all, though that was a whole different realisation to come to.
Because the sun was also a star. It was just the closest one to Earth, the one most capable of beaming down its rays. White tried to act like they were different, but that analogy only went so far as to how far ‘in space’ they were. White had simply gone further in the grand scheme of things, and was over-exaggerating on their own part.
Again, this was a very big and admittedly complicated realisation to come to. For crying out loud, that was a worm farmer. Why would White willingly compare themselves to a worm farmer? That just sounded insulting to them, and all their hard work.
So they found themselves becoming more aware of Green. The little things they did, the attention they had to detail. And they began to understand that metaphor a little more. How their priorities lied separately, revolved around different ideas, but they were still the same species.
But how did Green have them suddenly caring about personhood? And seriously, how was all of this happening because of a worm farmer? What was happening to them?
Were they intimidated? That apparently kindness went just as far as money? That they got treated better than White did on a practicality? They felt like they were being mocked.
Lo and behold, their attendants had to listen to a long and horrified rant some months later that they had fallen in love with Green. As though this was a matter of inconvenience, rather than a matter of necessity.
Somehow this article of White’s life ended with Green sleeping in White’s bed, and spending the subsequent mornings with them. White flipped through the daily newspaper that had been left on the table for them as Green dug into one of the freshly baked croissants on a platter.
“You know, I was thinking about it.” They swallowed their bite to say, “Were you cold to me on purpose all those times on the ship?”
White pulled a face, “I… guess so. I just thought that I was better than you because I made more money than you. I didn’t give you a chance.”
“Oh. Well– I guess that explains a lot. Wow.” Green looked down, blinking at the table. White felt weirdly guilty at the sight.
They frowned, averting their eyes also, “I don’t… think like that anymore. I think what you do is admirable.”
“Really?” Green crooned, their eyes lit up, “Does that mean you’re finally growing on the worm farm?”
That was it, wasn’t it? That look in their eyes— it was happiness, not awe.
“...I didn’t say that.” White deadpanned. Green deflated, but was understanding all the same.
“Okay, okay. But it’ll grow on you eventually. And then I’ll get to introduce you to all my girls,,, it would be great.” Green sighed dreamily, placing their head on their hand.
Still, there was some determination in their voice. Like it wasn’t a matter of if, rather it was a matter of when, and Green was already marking out a day in their mental calendar so they wouldn’t let it pass them by.
And maybe they couldn’t get behind the idea of a worm farm just yet, but they could at least understand the dedication that they put into it. It wasn’t different to anything White did… supposedly.
It wasn’t just free food that came around from Green’s effort. It was change. Change in White, which changed them into a drastically different person. A less insecure, more considerate person. No longer threatened by Green, when they didn’t feel outperformed by them. They’d learnt that it wouldn’t be complicated to share every once in a while. And that some states of mind, like that, were better left behind.
It hadn’t been something they thought they could do. But Green brought about new days, new opportunities for more. So White became a person that the older version of themself probably would have looked down upon, from the high horse of ignorance that they found themselves sat upon.
Now, desaddled, as much of a crash landing as that was, they didn’t know what else would change. Yet they still followed along with Green wherever they went.
They were such a loser.
“But you’re my loser!” Green had said to them once, grinning from ear to ear.
That hadn’t sounded so bad anymore.