Archive of Our Own

The sound of Ava's unrelenting cries carried throughout their bedroom. Their baby girl was deeply upset over the fact her papa had the audacity to try and give her a new fresh clean diaper after she had peed herself. Ilya tried to work fast, knowing his daughter loathed this process with every inch of her tiny body.

“I know, I know my little printsessa.” Ilya cooed at her while attempting for the second time to put on her new diaper. At the feeling of the diaper on her she cried out harder, her little face scrunching with annoyance as she cried. “I’m sorry Ava.” Ilya lifted her up kissing her red cheeks.

“Do you think she'll be like that when Hayden's family meets her today?” Shane asked. He had been watching from the plush rocking chair, still nursing Dimitri.

“Probably. We are exposing her to Pike for the first time today. I'd cry too.” Ilya said, putting the dirty diaper in the trash.

Shane huffed out a laugh. “Exposing?”

“Da. Exposing.” Ilya said as he picked up Ava, beginning to rub her back to comfort her. Her cries started to calm now that the whole ordeal of the awful diaper change was over. “Can't we just have Jackie and the kids come. Does he actually need to be here?”

“Ilya, he wants to meet them.” Shane said. He looked down at his son still eating his breakfast. Their baby boy's eyes were half open, trying to fight his sleep as he ate. The sight made Shane smile slightly, amused at his son's stubbornness.

“Did we ask if they wanted to meet him?” Ilya asked. He looked at Ava, now much calmer in his arms. “Moya printsessa do you want to meet a bad hockey player today?”

“Ilya!” Shane chided loudly. The sudden shift in volume made Dimitri unlatch, whining as he did so. “I'm sorry bud.” He guided the two and half month old to latch again. Dimitri struggled momentarily but eventually got it.

“Is true and you know it.” Ilya said smugly. Ava let out little grunts and coos making Ilya grin. “See, our daughter knows it too.” He kissed her cheeks, making her let out a whimper.

“Listen, today just please try and be nice. It's their first time having people come meet them. The last thing they need is hearing their papa be annoyed at their uncle Hayden.” Shane said. It was a big day for them, a minor milestone in Shane's eyes. They'd only ever really been around Shane's parents and today they were actually meeting new people. He knew it would be fine, the Pikes were great, but he was a nagging worry that the twins would get scared or overwhelmed by their guests.

“Uncle Hayden.” Ilya said under his breath, rolling his eyes.

“Ilya, I'm serious. Please just try and play nice. At least until they get settled around them.” Shane's voice was slightly pleading.

That seemed to do the trick and Ilya's expression softened. “Okay sweetheart.” He went over to where his husband sat and bent down slightly to kiss the top of his head. Ava let out frustrated whimpers and grunts. Ilya stood back up straight, trying to soothe her. “Do you think she's still hungry?”

“Maybe?” Shane guessed. “She didn't eat as long as she normally does.” Carefully, Ilya placed her back into her daddy's free arm. In the two and a half months since they'd been born, Shane had gotten really good at tandem feedings. At first he was unsure about it, not really liking the simultaneous tugging sensation on his chest. Now he had gotten used to it and enjoyed their bonding time. She latched on almost immediately, her face relaxing as she ate. “Guess she was still hungry.”

Ilya sat on the arm of the plush chair, looking at his baby's eat. Ava looked up at the both of them, her tiny hand flexing against Shane's exposed chest. It was still hard to believe they were actually here and not in Shane's belly anymore. In the short amount of the time they'd been alive, they'd already grown and changed in so many ways. They were getting chubbier from their dads milk, their hair was getting more curly, and Ava was making some progress with bottle feedings. Their twins were growing, and that was a very beautiful thing to watch.

“I will try to be nice to Pike.” Ilya said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Shane looked up at him. “Will you really?”

Ilya let out a small sigh. “Yes I will. Is a very big day for our babies and I want to focus on them and not some annoying man who can't score a goal.”

Shane chuckled softly at that. Ilya bent down and kissed his husband's lips. Shane kissed him back, still tasting the sweet syrup from the pancakes Ilya had made earlier for them. They stayed like that for a minute, enjoying each other's lips before Ilya pulled away.

“When they're done eating, I will get them dressed and you can go take a shower before everyone gets here okay?” Ilya's voice was soft as he cupped Shane's cheek. He ran a thumb over Shane's freckles, admiring them for what had to be the millionth time.

“Okay.” Shane gave him a slight nod. “Thanks for that.” He looked back down at his chest, both twins now looking up at him as they nursed loudly. Two sets of warm brown eyes watching him with curiosity and warmth, having no idea that in a few hours they were meeting new people. Today was going to be fine, he knew that. There was a loud nagging feeling in his head that was saying otherwise, but he ignored that for his own sanity.

—

“Uncle Ilya!” Ruby Pike yelled as she ran out of the minivan. Her sister, Jade, followed quickly after.

“You two have gotten so big!” Ilya gasped. They wrapped their arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Last time I saw you two you were,” Ilya lines his hand up with his upper thigh, smiling as he does so. “Up to here.”

Both girls laugh. “Nuh-uh! You're thinking of Amber.” Jade corrected him.

“Yeah we haven't been that small in a long time. We've gotten taller.” Ruby beams. She lets go of Ilya and steps back, standing up straight with her arms crossed. “I'm a whole two inches taller than Jade.”

“No you're not!” Jade countered. She goes over to her sister's side and stands next to her, matching her pose. “Uncle Ilya I'm taller right?”

Truthfully, the girls are nearly identical in height. If there was an inch or two of difference, Ilya couldn't tell. Still, he is genuinely amused by the conversation that he plays into it.

“I think Jade is only an inch off.” Ilya grinned. “You two are getting so big so fast is hard to tell.”

“See I told you!” Jade beams proudly at the confirmation.

“Girls! Enough with the height thing.” Hayden scolds them. Any kind of amusement or joy Ilya had felt speaking to the girls instantly leaves his system. Hayden comes over, holding Amber in his arms. The little girl is more shy than her other siblings, quickly glancing at Ilya before hiding away in the crook of Hayden's neck. “Amber, don't be like that. Say hi to Ilya.”

Amber hesitated before looking again at Ilya, lasting long enough to say a small. “Hi uncle Ilya.” Before avoiding his gaze.

Ilya smiled at the little girl, admiring the simple hello. “Hi to you too Amber.” Ilya looks back at the minivan. “Where's Jackie and Arthur?”

“They're looking for his Switch charger. He dropped it somewhere behind the seats on the drive here.” Hayden let out a deep sigh.

“Uncle Ilya, do you play Animal Crossing?” Ruby asked him.

“We were playing it in the car.” Jade added. “I'm trying to have an all cat island and Ruby is doing all bunnies.”

“No, I'm doing all dogs. Arthur is doing an all bunny island.” Ruby corrects her sister.

“Oohh, yeah.”

Ilya chuckled at the girl's conversation. “I've played it a little. Mostly on longer flights when I'm bored.”

“You play that shit?” Hayden said, not even trying to hide his judgment.

“Daddy you swore!” Both girls chide him.

“Right, sorry.” Hayden said in a dismissive half apology.

“Yes I've played it, Pike.” Ilya doesn't feel the need to try and hide his annoyed tone. “Is a fun game with cute animals. My island is all dogs and wolves.” He looks down at Ruby. “Those are the best obviously.”

“Obviously.” Ruby agreed, nodding her head.

Jackie comes over, Arthur holding her hand. In his free hand he's holding a rectangle case that has Pokémon and dog stickers on it. Jackie is holding what Ilya assumes is his charger in her free hand.

Once she sees Ilya a smile breaks out on her face. “Ilya! How are you?” Jackie wrapped her arms around him pulling him in for a tight hug. They pull away after a few seconds and she looks him up and down. “You've got that new parent glow to you.”

That makes Ilya bark out a laugh. “That’s just the exhaustion from no sleep.” He starts to usher everyone inside where they're all greeted by a very excited Anya.

“Anya!” All three Pike kids exclaimed as they wasted no time starting to pet her and give her kisses. Amber wriggles in her dads arms, wanting to join her siblings in petting the friendly dog. He sets her down and she goes over to pet Anya's belly. The three adults watch as the kids smother Anya with love and attention. The sight makes Ilya excited for when his own babies are bigger and they can play with Anya like this too.

Ilya guided Hayden and Jackie to the kitchen, offering them snacks and coffee. They both declined, Jackie thanking him for the offer. She leans in against the counter, her face slightly more serious than it had been before.

“For real though, how have you been? I know two at once is a huge change to get used to.”

The transition to fatherhood hadn't been what Ilya expected. He was so happy to be a papa and to finally have his babies here with them, but it had been hard for him in other ways. He had prepared himself for the late night feedings, dirty diapers and the crying for sometimes no reason. That was very expected. What had caught him off was his depression.

Very soon after the twins were born he had seen Galina. Deciding to do so had been a struggle for him, not wanting to acknowledge that something was a miss, but inevitably he scheduled the appointment once he realized how completely out of it he had been. After a few sessions with Galina and one with a psychiatrist he was put onto a new antidepressant along with his dosage being upped. The change was noticeable within a few weeks of him taking it. He was less spacey and more present with the babies and Shane, he was less groggy, he was sleeping much better. There was a big part of him that was glad the medication was helping him enjoy these first precious months of his babies lives. But there was another much smaller part that was upset that he even needed the medication in the first place.

His fingers drummed on the counter, feeling a little too seen from the question. “I've been…” He paused trying to think. He'd been a lot of things in the two months since his babies had come into the world. “I've been all over the place. Good and bad.”

“That sounds about right.” Jackie gave him a sympathetic look, nodding her head in understanding. “I was the same after the girls were born. It's a big change.”

“Yes, it really is.” Ilya sighed.

“Where's Shane?” Hayden interrupted.

Ilya gave him an annoyed look, fighting the urge to say something to the man sitting at his kitchen counter. Then he remembered he had told Shane he would try to get along with him and bit his tongue. “He is finishing getting ready. The twins will be waking up from their naps soon and then you can meet them.”

“I'm so excited.” Jackie smiled. “Shane has sent so many pictures and they're just so adorable.”

“They're even more adorable in person.” Ilya said, a smile forming on his lips.

All four Pike kids came into the kitchen at the same time, Anya at Jade's side. “Uncle Ilya, can we show you our Animal Crossing islands?”

“Yes of course,” Ilya said without hesitation. “All of your islands are probably much nicer than mine.”

A chorus of disagreement and denial came from the older kids as they went into the living room to show off their games.

—

Even from their upstairs en-suite bathroom Shane could hear the Pike kids loud laughs and conversations. He could hear Ilya, talking to them with effortless ease as he made them laugh. Ilya had many skills and talents, but his ability to effortlessly bond with kids was one that Shane deeply admired the most.

Shane looked at himself in the mirror one last time, trying to convince himself this was fine. The outfit was simple, a navy blue crew neck sweater that hid his still noticeable stomach, and very basic jeans. It hadn't even been three months since the twins were born, he knew he had to give himself some grace, but it bothered him. Really bothered him. The swell of his stomach had gone down significantly since the twins were born, but there was still a visible paunch that made Shane feel awful.

His body had changed and had made two people. A few lingering extra pounds should've been the least of his worries. Instead, he was turned to the side trying to see if it was noticeable with the sweater he had on. It felt ridiculous to care so much, but he did.

Shane had spent his whole life toning and basically perfecting his body to exactly how he wanted it. It was something he took pride in. When he had been voted hottest player in the NHL, there was a small part of him that deeply enjoyed that. His hard work was being acknowledged and that was appreciated. Now he was two and half months postpartum, his stomach was lined with stretchmarks, a C-section scar, and extra weight. Once he started working out more consistently again he would be back to his old self. Or at least something as close to his old self as he could get to.

He lingered in the mirror for just a minute more before letting out a defeated sigh and leaving the bathroom. Dwelling on this wasn't going to change anything. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand where it had been charging and made his way downstairs. Before going down, he checked on the twins in the nursery. Both babies were peacefully asleep, pacifiers in their mouths as they slept. The sight of them managed to ease some of Shane's anxiety and he quietly made his way out of their room, carefully closing the door as he left.

—

“Uncle Ilya you're,like, really rich in this game.” Jade said in awe.

“Yes, well art imitates life or whatever the saying is.” Ilya shrugged as he made his character walk past a field of golden roses.

“Shouldn't your character be uglier than that then?” Hayden said snarkily. Jackie gave him a strained look as soon as he said it.

Ilya took a deep breath, choosing to pretend he didn't hear that. He was going to keep the peace for Shane's sake. Even though he so desperately wanted to say something rude in return, he was restraining himself.

Shane came into the living room at that moment, all the kids turning their attention to their uncle.

“Hi uncle Shane!”

“Uncle Shane, where are the babies?”

“Hi Uncle Shane! Did you know Uncle Ilya was rich?”

The questions overlapped each other, making him let out a nervous laugh. The twins were years away from this stage of their lives but Shane wondered if they would overwhelm him with questions like this when they got bigger.

“Hi to all of you too.” Shane let out a small nervous laugh. “The babies still are napping but I think they'll be up in a little bit. And yes? I knew that?” He answered their questions, slightly confused at the last one.

Jackie and Hayden had gotten up from the couch, going over to give him a hug. Jackie reached him first, squeezing him tightly. Shane returned it but worried that she could feel his stomach through his crew neck. He realized that was a dumb thought once she pulled away, giving him a kind and warm smile.

“It's so good to see you Shane.” Jackie said warmly. “How have you been doing?”

“It's good to see you too.” Shane said. “Ive been good. Exhausted but good.”

Hayden pulled him in for a quick hug. “Good to see you buddy.”

“You too Hayd.” It was a simple greeting but Shane almost appreciated that more. That's how it had always been with them and he was glad that sense of normalcy hadn't changed.

Shane sat down next to Ilya on the couch, looking over at Amber who had been curled under a Winnie the Pooh blanket. Once Jackie was sitting down again, the little girl scooted closer to her mom's side. A small hand poked out as she waved. “Hi uncle Shane.”

Shane grinned slightly. “Hi Amber.”

Ilya went back to showing the kids his island. As he ran around and pointed things out Arthur sat by Shane.

“Uncle Shane, you did have the babies right?” Arthur asked him.

Shane nodded. “I did. Why?”

“Did it hurt?” Arthur asked curiously.

“Arthur!” Jackie scolded. “Don't ask things like that.”

The little boy looked at his mom confused and then at Shane. “I'm just wonderin’.”

“It's fine.” Shane reassured Jackie. “It hurt after they were born more. They cut me open and took them out of me so recovering from that was worse.”

Arthur's face paled slightly at that. He looked at his mom. “That can happen?”

“Honey, that's how your sisters were born.” Jackie said flatly. “You were almost born like that. It sounds a lot worse than it is, I promise.”

“Oohhh,” Arthur sat back, singing into the couch as he thought about that. “Was it scary Uncle Shane?”

“A little.” Shane confessed. “But it went well and now we have our babies.” He tried to end the conversation with that, not really wanting to be reminded about the birth.

Arthur opened his mouth to ask something else but Hayden cut him off before he could. “Arthur, why don't you come sit next to me and leave Uncle Shane alone.” He patted the empty space next to him.

“But-”

“Now, Arthur.” Hayden said firmly.

Arthur groaned, getting up from his spot to sit next to his dad. Once he was next to him, Hayden leaned in closer whispering something that Shane could only imagine was a scolding. He watched, thinking about how in a few years he didn't doubt he would be doing the same for one of the twins.

—

“They're both so cute!” Jade said in awe, looking at Ava nestled in Shane's arms. Ilya was next to him, holding a cooing Dimitri.

“I forget babies are so tiny.” Ruby said as she reached out with some caution to touch Ava's little hand. She looked up at Shane, who gives her a nod of approval. At the touch Ava wraps her hand around the older girl's finger. “Wow, she's really strong.”

Shane chuckled. “She is. For such a small baby she has a good grip.”

“Uncle Ilya, what were their names again?” Arthur asked.

“This is Dimitri. And that's Ava.” Ilya said as he readjusted Dimitri. Tiny grunts and whimpers of protest come from Dimitri's mouth, but once he's resettled he cooed calmly.

“Hi Ava.” Jade cooed. Ava looked at her, brown eyes fixated on the older girl.

“Uncle Shane, Dimitri looks exactly like you.” Ruby said once she turned her attention to the baby boy.

“He really does.” Arthur agreed.

“Everyone keeps telling me that.” Shane said, looking at his son in Ilya's arms. Even though Dimitri was still so little, Shane could see the resemblance only getting stronger as time went on. It was a little shocking for Shane at first, seeing his baby boy look almost identical to him when he was this age. He didn't think he had any expectations on what the twins would look like until they were born, when he caught himself wishing they had gained more of Ilya's features.

“Do you guys want to hold them?” Ilya asked the small crowd of kids at their sides. All four kids gave eager nods of agreement.

“Okay but you need to wash your hands first.” Shane said, starting to stand up to show them where the bathroom was.

Jackie stepped in. “You don't need to get up, Shane. Ilya showed us where the bathroom was earlier.” Jackie said as she was already guiding the kids to the bathroom down the hall.

Without the four kids in the room, it felt very dull. Ilya kept his eyes focused on their cooing babies, not wanting to acknowledge Hayden sitting on the opposite end of the sectional couch.

“So who picked out their names?” Hayden asked.

“We both did,” Shane said. “I picked Ava, and Ilya picked out Dimitri.” Ava let out a loud grunt and Shane gently rocked her.

“Huh, that figures.” Hayden said as he leaned back into the couch.

“What does that mean?” Ilya is now looking at him with a raised brow.

“Nothing. It's just that you picked the most Russian-y sounding name for your son.” Hayden said casually. There's something in his tone that Ilya didn't like, as if he's implying something else.

Shane can sense Ilya's rising annoyance by Hayden and steps in. “Ilya said he picked it because he heard it in a movie as a kid.” Shane tried to bring the subject back to a lighter place. “I think it's cute.” He looked at their son. “It suits him really well. I couldn't imagine another name for him.”

“Why'd you pick Ava?” Hayden followed up.

Shane gave a half shrug. “Ilya had suggested the name Evangeline, her nickname would be Eva. Eva became Ava because I thought it was prettier. When it came time to name her she just looked like an Ava to me.” Ava let out a tiny coo and Shane kissed her cheek.

From down the hall there was the sound of one of the girls arguing with their brother. Jackie's voice could be heard scolding both kids, followed by more talking.

“Sorry they're taking so long,” Hayden said, making no attempt to get up.

“Maybe they wouldn't if you actually helped her.” Ilya muttered, loud enough so only Shane could hear. He shot Ilya a warning look, which Ilya ignored keeping his eyes only on Dimitri.

The kids ran back into the living room, clamoring around Shane and Ilya.

“Okay who wants to go first?” Ilya asked.

Jade and Ruby sat down on the couch before either of their other siblings could. The older girls looked smugly at their young siblings, who were both annoyed. Carefully they placed the babies into their arms, telling them to support their heads. Ava let out little whimpers of protest as Jade held her.

“Hey hey, it's okay Ava.” Jade soothed in a way only a seasoned big sister could. Ava started to calm down, her eyes only half open.

“Uncle Ilya who's older?” Ruby asked.

“Ava.” Ilya responded instantly. The memory of her being taken out of Shane first was one he cherished and knew he would never forget. “Dimitri came out nine minutes later.”

A big grin formed on Jade's face. “You're a big sister too.” Jade told Ava proudly. “When you get bigger it'll be a lot of fun. You can boss everyone around ‘cause you're the oldest.” Ava let out another, much louder coo.

“Don't tell her things like that, Jade.” Jackie corrects. “You should be telling how to be a good big sister or something.”

Jade looks up to her mom. “But bossing everyone around is more fun.”

Ilya chuckled at that. “It is more fun. I like being captain and telling people what to do.”

“It's really fun!” Jade agreed.

Dimitri started to fuss at the sudden change in volume. Grunts and whimpers came from the baby boy. Shane was about to pick him up when Ruby started to comfort him.

“It's okay Dimitri.” Ruby soothed. “You don't have to listen to anybody. Being the second twin is better.” Dimitri hiccuped as he calmed down from the older girl's words.

“How much older are you Jade?” Shane asked her.

“Uhhh,” Jade turned to her mom. “Mommy, how much older am I than Ruby?”

“Fourteen minutes older.” Jackie answered.

Shane nodded at that. Being an only child, conversations like this felt foreign to him. Who was older or younger, didn't seem to matter in his mind because they were both born within twenty minutes of each other. But to the two girls sitting in front of him, it seemed to make a world of difference. His mind thought ahead, trying to imagine Ava and Dimitri at the girl's current age bickering about who was the older twin. It felt almost impossible to even think about, his mind refusing to let him imagine them as anything other than the tiny babies they were.

They held the twins for a few more minutes before trading off with their younger siblings. As Dimitri settled into Arthur's arms he looked up to Shane.

“Are you and Uncle Ilya gonna have another baby?”

“Arthur!” Both his parents said in unison.

Shane could feel his cheeks getting warm from the question.

“One day, yes. But will not be for a while.” Ilya said gently. The casualness and confidence of his husband's words only made Shane's cheeks only get warmer.

Amber held Ava studying her tiny features with precise focus. The little girl had been silent for most of the time. “Ava looks like a doll.”

“She does, doesn't she?” Shane said, trying to move past Ilya's comment.

Shane was thankful for how good both of the twins had been doing so far. The nerves he had were slowly starting to ease away the longer they were around people. He had been expecting loud fussing and cries at being held by new people. The twins were surprisingly calm for the most part, which was making this experience easier for Shane to fully enjoy.

—

By late afternoon the kids were outside playing with Anya. Hayden sat off to the side on a patio chair, pretending to supervise them while he was on his phone. The patio door was left open so the kids' loud laughs and yells carried into the living room.

Ilya had gone to the kitchen to start making dinner. When Shane had tried to help him, he insisted he was fine with cooking on his own. After a few minutes of Ilyas insisting, Shane was guided back to the living room, where he now sat with Jackie and the youngest Pike daughter, Amber.

As soon as he sat down Jackie scooted closer to him on the couch, clearly wanting to talk to him more.

“So, has dad life been treating you well?” Jackie asked.

Shane looked at the twins, now peacefully asleep in their swings. Ava's pacifier has fallen out of her mouth and he leaned forward putting it back in. Fatherhood so far had been a whirlwind of emotions for him. New anxieties and fears he didn't think he would ever have suddenly were at the forefront of his mind. He loved being their dad so much, but at times he felt like he was doing the worst job at that simple thing.

“It's been…” Shane's voice faltered. There was too much to say, too many thoughts. “It's been a lot. Exhausting, amazing, overwhelming. Just a lot, all around.”

Jackie gave him a knowing chuckle. “Yeah, I get that. I felt like that too after I had the girls.”

Shane knew that if there was anyone who would understand his complicated feelings on the matter, it was Jackie. Her first pregnancy was with twins, and she also had a C-section. Shane knew that she wouldn't judge him for the whirlwind of feelings he had been having.

“You did?” Shane asked cautiously.

“I did.” Jackie nodded. “It was a weird change to just go from me and Hayd to now having two babies. I mean, yeah we had months to prepare, but preparing, taking classes and then actually doing it are two very different things.”

Shane kept his eyes on his sleeping babies. He completely understood that. Months of looking things up, researching parenting techniques, going to parenting classes had completely left his mind when it came to daily parenting. Sure there were some tiny tips that were useful to him here and there, but for the most part he hadn't used any of the stuff he'd spent nine months doing deep dive research into.

“That’s how I feel right now.” Shane let out a deep sigh. “It feels like we prepared so much and now I don't even know if we're doing anything right.”

“I think you two are doing a great job.” Jackie said, placing a hand on Shane's shoulder. “I told Ilya he has that new parent glow to him. So do you.”

Shane gave her a half smile, appreciating her words. “I don't feel that at all but thanks.”

“Trust me, you do.” Jackie gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

From where she was laying on the couch, Amber started to wake up from her nap. She sat up, the Winnie the Pooh blanket falling to the side as she rubbed her eyes. She stretched slightly, then up to be with her mom.

“Mommy.” Amber yawned, tugging on Jackie's sleeve.

“Hi, baby.” Jackie fixed her daughter's hair, trying to even it out since she had just been laying on her side. “Did you have a good nap?”

Amber nodded, looking over her shoulder to outside where her older siblings were playing. “Mommy can I go play?”

“Sure you can. But remember no fighting or hitting okay?” Amber gives her another nod before scurrying off to go join her siblings with Anya.

They watched them play, loud laughs and yells as they played tag with Anya. Anya barked excitedly as she chased around Arthur. The sight made Shane realize how excited he was for that eventually.

“Are there any hard ages we should have a heads up for?” Shane asks after a few minutes.

Jackie lets out a loud, unapologetic laugh, genuinely amused at the question. “Oh sweetie, all of them are hard in different ways. The girls are turning ten this year and Jade has already told me that she hates me. She slammed the door in my face too.”

Shane's eyes widened slightly at that. “What'd you do?”

“I tried to go into her room to talk but she locked the door. I went downstairs to call Hayd, and by the time I found my phone she came downstairs crying saying she felt really bad.” Jackie smiled as she sighed softly. “There is no easy age. Even as young as them,” She nodded towards the twins starting to wake up in their swings. “isn’t easy.”

Shane wants to ask more but Ava's low cries distract him. Dimitri starts to join in, making Avas volume only grow. He can already tell from their cries that they're hungry.

Wasting no time he gets up and goes to the kitchen where he finds Ilya already warming up two bottles for them. Shane kissed Ilya's cheek, appreciating the simple gesture.

“Thanks.” Shane said as he kissed his cheek again.

Ilya hums an acknowledgement as pulls him closer, kissing his lips quickly. The microwave beeps and Shane grabs the warm bottles. As he heads back into the living room he glances over his shoulder catching Ilya watching him with a lovesick look on his face.

“Do you want me to help you feed them?” Jackie offered.

“If it's not too much trouble.” Shane said, as he puts the bottles down on the coffee table. Carefully he picks up a now wailing Ava, lightly rocking her to try and calm her down. Ava hiccups for a moment but starts crying again. Shane grabs up one of the bottles and heads back to the couch while trying to comfort his hungry daughter.

“I know, you're so hungry, princess. Let's try and have some yummy milk, okay?” Shane offered her the bottle and is met with annoyed cries. Ava accepted it but then quickly unlatches, crying even harder from the attempt. Shane lets out a tired, knowing sigh. “Ava please, you need to eat.”

Shane checked on Jackie and sees she's having no issues feeding Dimitri. He feels slightly better knowing that at least he's not having trouble eating. He tried again with Ava, offering her the bottle with the same result. His parents had told him that he had been this particular about feedings when he was this age. They reassured him that she would grow out of it and eventually get used to the bottle, but Shane was beginning to doubt that. Every feeding they did, Ava only ever wanted to be latched to Shane. While he loved the bonding time with her, he wanted Ilya to also be able to feed her without such a hassle.

“Is she only breastfed?” Jackie asked him.

Shane gives her a quick nod before he tries again with the bottle and Ava reaches a volume that he really didn't think a newborn should be able to reach. Her face is so red and upset from him trying to feed her the milk he pumped earlier. She needed to get used to eating from a bottle, but her screams are drowning out any reasonable thought he's having.

He gets up and sets the bottle down next to her pacifier on the coffee table. Before he sits back down on the couch he grabs the blanket thrown over the couch arm. With practiced ease he puts it over his shoulder and lifts up his shirt, guiding her to latch. Ava knows what she wants and latches on, her face turning from anguish to peace within seconds. Shane wants to be annoyed at her, but looking at her adorable face while she nurses, it's impossible for him.

Another deep tired sigh escapes his lips as he sits back. He looks over at Jackie who is giving him a sympathetic look. “I'm sorry.” Shane apologized, feeling slightly embarrassed he's nursing in front of her, even if he is covered.

“Oh no, trust me I get it.” Jackie chuckled. “I breastfed all four of them. I know what it's like to transition them to bottles.”

“She's struggling a lot more than her brother.” Shane said, fixing the blanket slightly. It feels slightly awkward talking to someone who isn't in his family while he does this. Even with his parents he covers up or goes to another room. He does his best to ignore the awkward feeling and continue the conversation. “Sometimes she's okay with them, but most of the time…” His voice trails off.

“She screams.” Jackie finished his sentence for him.

“She screams.” Shane repeated.

“She'll get used to it.” Jackie said softly. “Amber was the same way, hating being bottle fed but she eventually got the hang of it. Babies sometimes just need time to adjust to things.”

Shane gives a simple nod as a response. He looks down at Ava, who's looking up at with her bright wonderful eyes. Realistically, he knew she would get used to bottles at some point. That's what he and Ilya wanted, but he did like the fact that they had this special one on one bonding time.

“Oh hey, Hayd told me you plan on coming back next season.” Jackie said after a minute.

“Yeah that’s the plan.” Shane confirmed. Even as he said the words he didn't sound too convinced. That is the plan. He knows it's the plan. Yet his mind thinks about his current physique, and he doubts if he'll be back in shape by October.

“That’s good. I'm sure you've missed playing a lot.” Jackie said. Dimitri lets out a small coo before continuing to eat, and she smiles at the sound.

“You have no idea.” Shane said, sinking into the couch cushion behind him. “This is the longest I've ever not played hockey in my life.”

Jackie blinks and her eyebrows raise in shock.”In your life?”

“Yeah, in my life.” Shane said. “I miss it a lot though. Watching games and not being able to do anything because I was pregnant felt like hell.” He always made it a point to watch Ilyas games, to keep up to date with what was going on. It was a special type of torture he put on himself, dangling the thing he had been so passionate about since he was three in front of himself despite knowing he couldn't do it.

“Wow,” Jackie said in awe. She sat with that for a minute before adding with an amused smirk. “I know Hayd plays for Montreal, and I should be rooting for them. But," She gave him a small shrug. “Just know that next season I'm rooting for you specifically. I hope you guys win the cup.”

Shane smiled genuinely at her words. “Thanks for that. If he heard you say that he'd be so pissed though.”

“Oh I know,” Jackie laughed. “That stays just between us.” She looked down at Dimitri and over to the blanket that covered Ava. “Well, and I guess these two cuties.”

Ava whimpered slightly as she kicked her legs. Shane adjusted her in his arms and she went back to nursing without a problem. Her eyes started to close as she nursed, enjoying her meal. “I don't think we have to worry about them. They're pretty good at keeping secrets.”

—

“Dimitri blink twice if you like me more.” Jade asked. She was sitting in front of the twins' swings, the rest of her siblings surrounding her.

Dimitri huffed and blinked once. Ruby snickered and the youngest Pikes giggled.

“He doesn't like you.” Arthur giggled.

“Shut up, yeah he does.” Jade said quickly. She turned her attention to Ava who was looking at all of them with an unamused expression. “Ava blink once if you like me.”

Ava closed her eyes and grunted, kicking her feet as she did. Jade looked at her siblings with a victorious smile. “See Ava likes me.”

“That’s stupid, she didn't blink. It doesn't count.” Ruby said.

“It does count!” Jade turned to her mom and Ilya who were sitting on the couch, watching them talk to the newborns. “Uncle Ilya that counts right?”

“It counts.” Ilya agreed. Jade smiled and stuck her tongue out at all her siblings before returning to talk to the babies.

Jackie chuckled. “You're already good at playing peacemaker.”

Ilya grinned. “Is a good skill to work on while they're still babies.”

Jackie nodded in agreement. They had been having nice after dinner conversations. It was a small simple thing but it made Ilya realize how much he missed talking to someone who could actually respond back to him. He spoke to the twins all the time, getting grunts or coos or other little baby noises as a response. While it was always precious and he loved every sound, actually talking to someone that wasn't a baby,his husband, or his in-laws was nice.

Ilya watched as the older kids fawned over the babies. Arthur waved Ava's tiny fist, while both the girls started playing peek-a-boo with them. The twins watched them, light gurgles and coos coming from the both of them.

Jackie checked her phone to check the time. “Oh God is that really what time it is. We're probably going to be leaving soon.” All four kids let out annoyed sighs and protests at that. “You kids have school tomorrow, and you're not missing that. So enjoy playing with Ava and Dimitri for a little bit longer then we're going.” Her words were final and the kids seemed to have known better than to try and argue with her.

Jackie was an impressive woman, Ilya had known that since he had met her. She was way too good for Hayden and what she saw in him was beyond Ilya. However, now that he was a dad and he was seeing how she handled situations his respect for her only grew more. She had offered tips and advice about the babies but also about being a new parent that Ilya genuinely appreciated so much.

Ilya got up from the couch. “I'll go tell Pike you want to start leaving soon.”

“Ah, thank you.” Jackie said.

“No, problem. I've been wanting to tell him to leave since he got here.” Ilya said casually, making Jackie laugh.

Shane and Hayden had been outside on the patio talking since dinner ended. Shane had told Ilya he needed some air and Hayden followed him out. They were sitting on the patio chairs, seemingly having a serious conversation when Ilya came over.

“Oh great, he's here now.” Hayden groaned.

“It's my house, Pike. I should be saying that about you.” Ilya shot back. He took a seat next to Shane, wrapping an arm around his shoulder out of habit. “What were you two talking about?” Ilya asked Shane.

“We were talking about his comeback for next season.” Hayden responded.

This topic was one that Ilya absolutely dreaded. While he knew that Shane wanted to come back to hockey Ilya wished that his husband could just simply allow himself to exist. To not worry about being in shape, to not think about how the public will perceive him, to just have this time for himself and the twins. Whenever Shane brought up the topic Ilya would make a point to swiftly change the topic. If Shane had noticed that or not he wasn't sure, but Ilya didn't want to think about hockey or next season when his twins weren't even out of their newborn phase. Ilya knew he wasn't being realistic about this, hockey was a huge part of Shane's life and he knew that. But there was another part of him that wished they could just enjoy this time without thinking about the future so much.

“Ah, next season.” Ilya said.

“I know you're looking forward to having him back on the ice with you.” Hayden said.

Shane's eyes settled on him and Ilya felt his stomach flip. Of course he missed seeing his husband's gorgeous freckles and determined expression on the ice with him. They'd been playing on the same team for two years and had enjoyed every minute of that. Years of being apart to only now be together made Ilya feel a sense of peace that he didn't know he desperately craved prior to Shane joining the Centaurs.

“I do miss seeing you on the ice with me.” Ilya confessed. “But I don't like thinking that far ahead. When next season comes, I'll think about it then.”

“Well I can't wait for it.” Shane said genuinely. “I want to be back on the ice with you. Winning with you.”

Ilya knew Shane had meant every word, but it made Ilya's heart tug. There was so much he wanted to say about this, but this wasn't the time or the place to talk about it. Especially not in front of Hayden Pike of all people. Ilya did what he always did when they spoke about this, changing the topic.

“Your wife says that you're leaving soon by the way.” Ilya said, pulling his gaze away from his gorgeous husband to look at the less attractive man sitting across from him.

Hayden raised his brows and fished his phone out from his pocket. “Shit its almost eight.”

Shane sits up slightly from that. “We need to start getting them ready for bed.”

Ilya nodded. Everyone got up and went back inside where they found Arthur and Amber petting Anya and the older girls playing with the twins.

“Mommy's in the bathroom.” Jade said without turning to face them.

“Right.” Hayden sighed. “Okay start getting ready because we're leaving now.”

The kids all groaned and looked up at their dad with sad expressions.

“Daddy can't we stay just a little longer?”

“I don't wanna say bye to them. They're so cute.”

“Can we take Anya with us?”

The kids said all at once, their voices overlapping with each other in a way that made both Ilya and Shane's head spin.

“No we can’t stay longer, you kids have school tomorrow. The babies have to get ready for bedtime so say bye to them Ruby. And no we aren't taking the dog with us Arthur.” Hayden rattled on while gathering the kids' belongings.

“Her name is Anya.” Ilya said in an irritated tone.

“Great. Anyways kids, let's go wait for mommy in the foyer.” Hayden said, standing with all their Nintendo Switches in his hands.

All the kids gathered around the two babies. A chorus of goodbyes, compliments and praises came from all four of the kids. The twins were calm, allowing the kids to gently touch their hands and lightly poke at their chubby bellies. Shane and Ilya sat on the couch, watching with amusement at seeing how adored their two babies were already.

Eventually Shane ushered everyone out of the living room towards the kitchen. Ilya stayed where he was on the couch, wanting to be with the twins for a few uninterrupted minutes. Jade lingered back, waiting until all her siblings were out of earshot. Jade leaned in close to Ava, cupping her hand by her mouth as she whispered something to her. Ava cooed and made a loud whimper when Jade pulled away. She got up, smiling at the baby girl. She started to go towards the kitchen when Ilya stopped her.

“What did you tell her?” Ilya asked curiously.

Jade looked towards the direction foyer, checking to see if anyone was around. When she realized it was clear she leaned in close to Ilya.

“I told her she's gotta take her big sister duties seriously. And that she's gonna be a really good big sister as she gets bigger. Y'know big sister advice.” Jade said, her smile growing.

It was such a simple thing to say but it hit Ilya with such unexpected emotion. He felt a lump form in his throat as his eyes went to Ava, who was cooing in her baby swing. She was going to be such a good big sister as she got older. To Dimitri, and to the eventual other kids they would have down the line. He didn't doubt that she would be fun, caring, kind, and maybe a little bossy to her siblings.

Jade ran off to join the rest of her family. Ilya went to pick up Ava, little coos coming from her as held her. He could hear Jackie join them in the foyer and heard the kids laughing about something.

Ilya kissed Ava's cheek. “You will be such a good big sister, printsessa.” Ilya said to her in Russian. His baby girl cooed loudly, followed by a tiny grunt. He took that as a sign of her agreeing with him.

—

“It was so good seeing you both again.” Jackie said as she pulled Ilya in for a hug. The kids were all in the minivan, arguing about something going on in Ruby's game.

“Is always nice to see you and the kids, Jackie.” Ilya said. They pulled apart and Ilya gave Hayden a weary look. “And you were here too I guess.”

Hayden rolls his eyes, skipping saying goodbye to Ilya and instead focusing on Shane. “It was good seeing you buddy. Congrats again. The twins are adorable.” He pulled Shane in for a quick hug, patting his back before pulling away.

“Thanks Hayd,” Shane said.

Hayden went to the driver's seat, turning on the minivan. Jackie hugged Shane tightly, pulling away with a kind smile. “Its always nice seeing you Shane. Just remember what I told you earlier.”

“I will.” Shane said, smiling back

Jackie gave his shoulder a final friendly pat before getting in the passengers seat. After a minute they pulled out of the driveway, Hayden honking the horn before they drove away.

They were left standing in the driveway, the only noise was the sound of distant cars and a dog barking a few houses down.

“I really don't know what that wonderful woman sees in that man.” Ilya sighed.

Shane playfully hit his shoulder. “Ilya.” Shane tried to hold back a laugh but was failing. “People probably think the same shit about us.”

They started to walk back towards the front door. Ilya let out a tsk of disapproval. “They do not. People can understand why you're with me because I am gorgeous. What does Pike have to offer?”

They went inside and Ilya locked the door behind them. The house that was filled with loud conversations and laughs only twenty minutes ago was now oddly quiet. They could hear one of the twins growing grunts. It sounded like one of them would have to change a dirty diaper soon. “Maybe she just sees more in him than anyone else does.” Shane said after a minute.

“She must have great vision then.” Ilya muttered.

By the time they were in the living room, Ava was asleep and Dimitri was starting to cry. As they both went to pick them up Ilya recoiled slightly at the smell coming from his upset son. “Okay Dima don't worry papa will change you.”

Once they were upstairs Ilya swiftly took off the dirty diaper. Dimitri was a lot easier to change than Ava, his cries stopping almost as soon as the dirty diaper was off and Ilya cleaned him. He didn't fuss as Ilya put a new diaper on him, and little light coos came from him.

“Do you think they had a good time?” Shane asked, swaying with Ava in his arms.

“I think so. They didn't mind being around the older kids or being held by new people.” Ilya said as he lifted Dimitri from the changing table. He went over to the closet, looking for pajama onesie to put them in after bathtime.

Today had gone a lot better than Shane had expected. He had imagined the twins, fussy and annoyed at meeting that new people were surrounding and holding them. Instead the twins had been great with the older kids. He also appreciated how Ilya stayed true to his word, not picking any fights with Hayden despite how badly he knew his husband wanted to. Overall Shane was glad that the twins first house guests outside of the family had been a success.