Chapter Text
Prologue
Cara had lived in one place her whole life. She had only ever known one family around her, the girls on Circe’s island. Her whole life she had been one of Circe's closer nymphs, considering Circe as her mother. She had always been the youngest nymph on the island, along with her best friend, Ciera.
Like every other Thursday afternoon all the girls were out on the beach, some nymphs played tag, others sat and braided their hair. It was a sunny and peaceful day outside, the sun's rays gracing them with warmth as they played. Inside the palace Circe was dealing with the men who had shown up, uninvited to the island. Circe had always shown grace and hospitality to those who needed the help on her island. Cara and Ciera were sitting near the ocean's cold waves, getting lightly splashed on each time the current came up. The world quieted, just for a moment, as if it was waiting for something, anything to happen.
That's when the screams started.
Circe’s voice echoed off the palace walls, loud and desperate for help. All of the nymphs paused, unsure what to do for just a second. They all got up on surprisingly sturdy legs and ran back towards the palace. Cara and Ciera were towards the front of the crowd of girls, sprinting as fast as they could to make sure the only mother they knew was okay.
The men in the palace were the type of men that the nymphs grew to be cautious of, the dangerous type of men. The ones that would hurt you, no matter how kind or rude you were to them. The ones who seem nice, but will turn on you in seconds and hold a knife to your throat. That's the problem with how these nymphs were hurt, they couldn't tell the difference between those kind men and the hidden ones. They had to keep their guard up every time because maybe, what happened on this day would happen again.
The first thing the girls saw was Circe. Her eyes were filled with an unfamiliar emotion, fear. Cara never knew her mother could be scared, she seemed fearless, the most powerful person she knew.
One of the men from the crew was in front of Circe, pressing his arm into her throat. The girls didn’t think. They just acted. Two of them reached Circe and pulled the man away from her. Cara and Ciera stood there and watched Circe collapse to the ground, breathing raggedly, her eyes barely staying open. All around the nymphs, men drew their swords, rushing forward, slashing and stabbing at them many nymphs hopelessly trying to help Circe. Some did not draw their swords, but instead lifted Circe back up, and made her watch. Watch as her nymphs, the girls she swore to rule and protect, get killed. Cara stood there, in the middle of the slaughter, dumbstruck and frozen. She heard the screams of her sisters as they fought and lost. Cara was thrown out of her faze as she got pushed to the ground. She got kicked and pushed to where Circe was, barely holding on. The men grabbed Cara, forcing her to stay still as they grabbed their swords and dragged it across her leg. The tip tore her skin, letters forever engraved as scars on her leg. Only two words “Devil spawn”, two words that will never go away, two words that will stay in the back of Cara’s mind. Two words that cracked her confidence in a million pieces.
The man's grip on Cara got ripped off as one of the nymphs saved her. Cara crawled slowly, pain rippling through her body as she went over to Circe. Cara felt Circe’s embrace as she turned around to see who had helped her.
Ciera.
Except she wasn’t standing or smiling at Cara proudly, like she normally would.
Red.
Red blood trickled down Ciera’s leg.
Red blood bloomed in her chest.
White.
White hot hurt sprouted in Cara’s heart.
Aching. Sadness. Loss. Grief. Anger. Fear.
Cara watched as her best friend crumpled to the ground, and blood pooled around her. She saw the light go out in Ciera’s eyes, as Cara herself struggled to stay awake. Finally, the screams quieted and Cara closed her eyes, not wanting the tears to spill from them and got dragged into unconsciousness as she collapsed onto Circe.
As she awoke, hours later, Cara felt Circe hugging her close. She lifted her head and surveyed the room. It looked mostly as it did when she passed out before, blood and bodies scattered across the floor of the palace. The smell of blood and death burned her lungs as she breathed. Circe rose with Cara in her arms, walking as Cara clutched her mother like her life depended on it. Circe brought her to the kitchen and gently rinsed Cara’s leg off, the blood flowing down the drain, mixing with the water. The warm water stung as it flowed down her leg, cleaning the cut. Circe wiped the water off of Cara’s leg, and walked over to the little nymphs room, laying her down on the bed and pulling the covers up. Cara curled up into her sheets, hugging her unicorn plush close to her chest with shaky hands. Circe turned the light off and left Cara to get pulled back into sleep.
———
The months after that day, Cara noticed Circe always had her guard up. She flinched at every sound in the palace, cried at night when she thought the nymphs were asleep. Circe seemed to blame herself for the deaths of the other nymphs but Cara never blamed her, no one there did. Instead Cara blamed herself. If she didn’t get pushed down, if she didn’t get hurt, Ciera wouldn’t have died. And that's the thought that stayed at the back of Cara’s mind every time she did something. As she ran around the beach again she remembered Ciera and how it was her fault. As she tried to continue her life and do the things mortal four year olds do all she could think about is how Ciera didn’t get to do these things with her.
Months continued to fly by, blurred with the grief and loss the nymphs felt for their fallen sisters.
Until the day Odysseus came.
Odysseus, the king of Ithaca, arrived on Circe’s island a few months after the loss of the nymphs. Cara watched, with four year old wonder, as Circe turned his men to pigs and later fought Odysseus herself. Cara watched for days as they talked together, as Odysseus and Circe got close and became friends. She observed from the sidelines, careful not to get spotted.
Until Circe found her watching.
The memory of meeting Odysseus (Or Ody as he said to call him) after all these years was a distant memory to Cara. She remembered her little laugh as she cracked up about something he said. She remembered growing close to him over the time he stayed. One of the main things she remembered was when he was leaving. As a four year old, she had completely forgotten that he was going to leave, that he had his own family. She remembered Ody acting cold and kingly, which was odd to Cara, being that he was usually an energetic person. She remembered having shut down as well, going back into the respectful, obedient, nymph mode she had grown into growing up. Ody had asked her to get Circe. She did as she was told and ran to find Circe trying not to show the disappointment in her voice or eyes as she brought Circe back to him. She stood there, disappearing into the background as they spoke, formal wording and all, until Ody turned to leave. He glanced back at Circe and Cara watched as he inspected her, her body language, her face, her eyes.
“Wait.” He said as Circe began to walk away. She paused and turned back to him.
“Yes?”
“I—…has he hurt you again since last time?” Circe was quiet for a bit while both Cara and Odysseus awaited her response. She didn’t use words, but instead rolled up her sleeve to reveal bruises covering her arms. Cara blinked back tears as she watched Odysseus’ eyes fill with worry for his friend, Cara’s mother.
“Are you okay?” Again, Circe didn’t respond to his question.
“Circe…” he tried.
Circe’s voice was barely audible to Cara, barely speaking above a whisper. “There’s more…he broke my ribs this time…” Circe fell silent and looked at the ground. Cara felt more tears stinging at her eyes and rubbed them trying to rid the emotion and tears from her face. Ody inhaled sharply at her response, like he could feel the pain she was in.
“Why didn’t you heal yourself? Do you want me to help?”
“I can’t heal this…besides, it wastes my energy anyways…what’s the point?”
“Do you want…” he hesitated slightly. “Do you want me to bandage it for you?”
Cara watched them, Circe continued to look down in shame and Odysseus looked at her worriedly. Cara wanted to go and hug her mother but she couldn’t move, maybe out of shock, or pain, perhaps both.
“It might not heal properly, Circe, please.” Desperation seeped into Odysseus’ voice.
“...Fine. I’ve survived off of unbandaged broken ribs before, it's not that serious…I can do most things I could do without pain, it’s fine really.”
“Well,” Odysseus said stubbornly, “we’re bandaging it this time.” He took Circe’s hand, and dragged her over to his room. Cara followed as Circe reluctantly walked with him. They entered his room and Cara slipped in, unnoticed, like always, closing the door gently behind her. Circe sat down on Odysseus’ bed as he rummaged through his drawers, looking for any bandages he had left.
“Most of our supplies were lost with the boats when Poseidon...” He trailed off, and swallowed the lump in his throat. “But I’m sure I still have it.” He pulled out the bandages, a smile of satisfaction spread across his face.
“Here. Which ribs?” He asked, turning back to her, already unraveling a piece of it. Circe gestured to her right side, silently.
“Ody,” She hesitated before speaking again, impossibly quieter. “How did you know he did it again?”
“I know the look of someone hiding pain.” He sighed. “Now, this is going to hurt but I have to feel for the breakage…” He hovered his hand over her torso. “May I?” Circe nodded, as Cara watched their whole interaction for the corner of the room, staying completely silent. She didn’t let the tears in her eyes spill over as she watched Circe get hurt over and over again.
Of course she had known about these injuries, she watched Helios, the sun god, Circe’s father, press down on her torso. Cara heard Circe’s ribs crack, she saw her lose her ability to breath as Helios pressed his foot down into Circe’s throat. She saw it all happen, even intervened, but it still hurt, somewhere deep inside her chest, as the pain showed on Circe’s face.
Odysseus prodded gently at Circe’s side, feeling for the breakage, like he had done before. She winced slightly as he pressed on each rib on her right side.
“Two ribs… that’s not horrible…” Odysseus leaned back and grabbed the roll once more, unraveling a bit. Circe laughed bitterly at that, her face soon twisted in pain, stopping her laugh.
“They’ve mostly all been broken before. I’m sure some of them still are. This is the least of what he’s done. This is his version of being nice.”
Odysseus paused for a second. “I'm sorry…”
“I grew up like this…I’m used to it.” She shrugged.
“If there might be more broken I’ll have to feel for that too… we should bandage those ones as well…” Circe didn’t say anything more, she just nodded. He felt both her sides this time, pressing gently but firmly as Circe winced.
“I think that’s two… right next to each other. So four in total.”
“The others probably have healed.” She said, adjusting her position slightly, and taking in a sharp breath.
“It feels like it… okay… uh… I’m going to need the area around the ribs to be uncovered… Do you mind if I… lift your chiton a bit?” Odysseus started to speak fast, rambling awkwardly and nervously. “It'll just be a moment I’ll make sure of that.” Circe nodded and Odysseus lifted the thin fabric covering her torso, revealing slight bruises. Odysseus’ brows furrowed in that familiar way Cara knew all too well, when he was concentrating on something. He wrapped Circe’s torso tightly, making sure to include all the ribs that were broken.
The silence in the room stretched for a while. Cara had gotten used to it. She watched Ody as he worked, carefully, trying not to hurt Circe.
“ I remember when I was four or five, my father threw me against the wall so hard, I saw black dots.” Circe paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, at least as deep as she could while not disturbing Odysseus’ work. “ The back of my head was dripping with ichor. He kicked me hard in the ribs over and over until he heard cracks. He left and I went to my bed, cried and bled right there. I remember it so vividly…”
Odysseus’ hands trembled slightly as he worked, taking a breath before continuing, still listening.
“I had a nightmare last night…it was that exact memory,” Circe continued, filling the silence. “I had a panic attack…my father went into my head and made me panic more, then told me to stop shaking and panicking because it was weak…he came, and made me stop shaking. He hit me, choked me, pressed his foot to my chest so I couldn’t breathe…it was terrible.” Circe’s gaze lifted from the ground and drifted around the room before landing on Cara’s small, 4 year old figure standing in the corner. Circe's voice cracked as she spoke. “Then C-Cara walked i-in..h-he hit her r-right across the f-face, she had a b-bruise. There was this…m-motherly instinct t-to p-protect her that r-rose in me. I threatened h-him…I controlled h-him. Took over his m-mind. I turned I-into him for a-a second…I was just as bad as him, Ody…I m-made my g-greatest fear come true…to protect t-the girl that i-is a daughter t-to me.” Cara’s heart shattered more and more as Circe continued and she had finally found the courage to move. The old floorboards creaked as she walked over to Circe, climbing next to her on the bed.
Odysseus finished bandaging Circe, tightening it one last time before letting Circe' s chiton fall back into place on her body. He got up and sat next to them on the bed, facing Cara, his expression twisted in pain as Circe talked, holding his arms out, an invitation to Cara.
Cara shifted slightly and she let herself collapse into him, burying her face in his chest and she shook, as the shock, fear, and exhaustion consumed her.
Cara felt Odysseus rub her back slowly as she sobbed into his chest. He cradled her to his chest, a sweet comfort Cara would come to look forward to, even as she grew. Odysseus pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Cara’s head and she remembered the feeling of him brushing the hair, sticking to her tear stricken face, away and tucking it gently behind her ear. He lifted his head to Circe, eyes filled with sympathy and a hidden rage, one Odysseus didn’t let show, but one hidden deep inside him, powerful enough to destroy many things in his life.
“I haven’t heard much about your father, but seeing and hearing what he does to you I know enough to say you’re nothing like him.” A statement.
“Y-you don’t know t-that…you d-don’t know t-the t-terrible thing I-I’ve done…”
“Do you remember what I told you before, Circe?” Cara listened, still cradled to Odysseus’ chest as he continued to rub her back absentmindedly.
Circe spoke in a ghost-like whisper, “…Our mistakes don’t define us.”
Odysseus nodded. “Every time you start to feel like you’re anything remotely close to your father, I want you to think about that.”
“The only reason I was outcast, the only reason I am here on my island is because of my mistakes…they do define me…they paved the way for the rest of my life here.” Circe’s eyes were locked onto the ground, too ashamed to look anywhere else, hoping, maybe, if she didn’t look at anyone, she wouldn’t be judged. Hoping to fade into the background.
“Other people might define you for your mistakes, but if they do, it’s because they only know you for it. If they actually knew you, though, they wouldn't think of your mistakes when they are with you.”
“There are people who actually know me and define me by my mistakes though…” Her eyes flickered over to the window slightly then back down to the floor. Circe hugged herself.
“Who?” Odysseus asked, his eyes darkened “Because I will personally go and persuade them otherwise.”
Circe looked up at them finally, smiling sadly. “I don’t think you will be able to do that.”
“Why not?”
She sighs. “Because they are very stubborn.”
“Well I'm stubborn too!”
Circe smiled slightly, genuinely, before it turned solemn. She stared down at her lap, fidgeting slightly with her hands. “I don't think you will be able to convince my father, mother, and 3 siblings that my mistakes don’t define me and that I am not worthless. You guys can try all you want but I’m the disappointment child.” She laughed sadly. “No changing that.”
“Cara will come help me do it! Right, Cara?” Odysseus shook her slightly, smiling at her.
Cara sniffled slightly and cleared her throat. She smiled at Circe and giggled slightly as she was bounced in Ody’s arms. “Yeah!”
“That’s my girl!” Odysseus squeezed her slightly, bouncing her up and down once more. Cara smiled and hugged him tighter, giggling slightly. “Well, I’ll make it my goal to piss off your father sometime during my journey home.”
Circe laughed, the first time in a while. “Don’t piss him off too much.”
Odysseus smiles. “I’ll try.” Cara laughed as well.
And from then on, things were better.
They were one big family again.