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What happens when you're in heaven with all media charcters

Summary:

Sukuna's and Kashimos fight goes a little bit differently than planned.....

 

Or the REAL alter

Notes:

This is a crackfic. I wrote this on crack.

 

Also if anyone I know is reading this no you arent. This is ISINT me I swear

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Flash Forward to Kashima or whatever the green hair guys name was in the middle of his fight with sukuna while he was decomposing.

“Love is useless,” says Sukuna, looking at Kashima. He looked out to the horizon. “That's what I said until I met Toji Fushiguro.”

Three minutes pass in silence where no one speaks at first.

Kushmo looks confronted. Haha. What.

“What the hell” finally cracks kamushimo first.

“He was the one who truly taught me how to love someone,” starts sukuna. “As a friend.”

Kashima stares at him for two long other minutes.

A cricket does a sound. I don't know what it's called okay??? Okay??? Please bro this is not serious bro please I don't care I'll probayd I'm SOry sstp I'm SORRY POE DONT KILL ME PLEAQE

___

 

Meanwhile, somewhere is heaven because gege loves Toji too much knowing damn well he SUCKS (or an airport idk what the hell that is)

“Yo bro did someone say my name?” He asks Infront of the snacks that they sell in airports. But he doesn't buy any because he’s a BROKE JOBLESS BUM. Fucking hate you Toji. Die. Die. Die

“Shut the hell up!” Yells the one and only, John cockroach. Yes, the cockroach yuta killed. Some may say he’s even stronger than Gojo Satoru. “I would talk to you if you liked iron.”

“Yeah, sybau son.” I add, because I am also dead since Toji fans found me and slimed me.

“Who are you?” Asks no one other than Gojo Satoru. Yeah. I'm just that cool. Gojo talks to me. Fuck you all. Crave in hell.

“Haha. Wow, this is like a comedy show!” Says the one and only, Hatsune Miku. Cuz she died. Rip queen. “Mikudayo.”

“Wow, this was truly our Jujutsu kaisen.” Says Barack Obama.

“I agree!” Yell collectively 300 mini versions of homer.

“I leave the group chat for a moment. As I come back, to tHiS?” asks Sans Undertale.

“She used to call me on my smell phone.” Adds nose drake.

“We didn't even get a graduation ceremony.” Complains class of 2020.

Suddenly, an Iraqi character written by JK Rowling joins the civil conversation. “Hi,” he says. “My name is nain ellavan.”

“Hello everybody my name is Markiplier.”

“HOLY SHIT ITS MARKPLIER!”

“haha. You’re so Portuguese.”

“I’ll reveal your true form!” Yells Joker Persona five.

___

“Anyway” Continues Sukuna, sitting on the edgeeeee of the universe,,, singing a tuneeeee. “You're gonna die now lmao.”

Kashimo turns into a waffle. That's it. That's his death.

“Hm..I defenitly don't regret that.” Grins Sukuna. “It's time to kill more teenagers.”

“Repent my child.”

“JESUS CHRIST?????”

“you can chose to stop this now my child,” continues Jesus, “or you can continue…eating and killing teenagers.”

Wow, Sukuna can't believe his eyes! He never met Jesus christ in person before, his parents used to say that Santa was the friend of Jesus, but he never believed in Santa, so naturally he didint believe in Jesus.

Hmmm….maybe that's why he was disowned.

“Errrmm, how about I continue eating children?” Asks definitely Sukuna, BECAUSE he talks like that.

Jesus Christ sighs.

“I cannot do anything to save you.” He disappears in a cloud of light.

“I can't fix youuuu” sings circus baby.

Sukuna is pissed off, but then he realizes something…

“Ah yes my anti FNAF technique I haven't used since the heian era.”

Sukuna uses his anti FNAF technique that he hasn't used since the heian era and circus baby desintegrates into ash.

“You mean OUR anti FNAF technique?” Says Yuta. What? You thought I was gonna call him a bum? Well FUCK you. HES soooo much more useful than you you UNEMPLOYED chud who sits around all day scrolling through jjk tiktoks and calling it being a fan. Yeah I see you you little larper boy.

____

“Anyway,” Says Gojo back at the airport, “anyone up for some sweets?”

“If by sweets you mean chilli dogs, then count me in!” Says sonic the hedgehog.

“Hi. I'm max.” Says my friend that wanted to be included in a fic.

“I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU! OR ANYONE IN THIS CIRCUS IN THE SLIGHTEST! YOU, ARE MY PLAYTHINGS, AND I GET JOY OUT OF MAKING. YOU. SUFFER.”

“it's okay Jax you can talk to me.” Says Mizuki project Sekai.

“Me too!” Adds Kirara. (Ifykyk)

“What?” Asks crurious George.

 

*Narrator from jjk comes in*

And after that, they all died and lived happily ever after in the airport.

Notes:

I wrote this in the middle of the night and decided to share this with you guys. Haha.