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There are plenty of ways to torture someone.
Some are more gruesome than others, some are subtle but effective. Some completely betray human rights entirely.
Today, Kaito would prefer any of them over third-wheeling with Shinichi and Saguru Hakuba.
At first, he'd introduced the two as a courtesy. Most every time Hakuba had met "Shinichi", it was Kaito in disguise. So, when Shinichi got the antidote to APTX 4869 (thanks to Ai's work behind the scenes for 5 entire years), Kaito figured he'd properly introduce them.
Truthfully, Kaito thought the two wouldn't mesh well. They were both detectives who tended to think they were the smartest people in the room (they usually were, but that's besides the point), and Shinichi was pretty prickly to most boys his age, so Kaito had figured that they'd greet each other and then never speak again.
Boy, he couldn't have been more WRONG.
Honestly, he had forgotten that the two were extreme Sherlock Holmes fanboys. Shinichi he grew up with, so that was just normal for him. Hakuba had stopped wearing the deerstalkers, and Kaito had erased them from his brain. So, when the two immediately recognized each other from a Holmes fan get-together, Kaito knew it was over.
That first meeting turned into a 12 hour yapfest. Kaito had tuned them out after the second hour, so imagine his surprise when he woke up in the morning and the two were in Yusaku's library, going over their favorite Holmes cases.
Kaito scrunched his nose in annoyance.
What is this, a sleepover? You two were supposed to hate each other...
Then, that first meeting turned into a second, and a third, and soon the two were hanging out twice a week.
Hakuba would meet them at the Kudo residence, and then walk to school together. Well, they would walk Shinichi to the halfway point and then continue on their way to Ekoda.
The whole time, the two would just be fanboying.
The only time Kaito got Hakuba's attention was during his heists, but even that wasn't sacred between them anymore since Shinichi was often there too.
Deep down, Kaito knew that he should be happy. These two distracted each other, which made it easier to run circles around them. Especially with Ruby helping behind the scenes. And yet, Kaito still felt... odd.
"I think you're jealous," Shiho said, taking a sip from her iced coffee. Ever since she returned to normal too, she was no longer stuck indoors formulating antidotes. It didn't take much for Kaito to coax her out to hang out with him.
"Hmf.. You think so?"
"Mhmm. Maybe you're jealous that your brother isn't your best friend anymore. Or you're jealous that Hakuba-san isn't paying attention to you anymore."
Honestly, both could probably be true. There was a point in time where Kaito knew Shinichi better than anyone, even Ran. But when he shrunk and lived as Conan, he changed in ways Kaito wasn't party to. So when he returned to normal, it was like he was an entirely different person.
And when it came to Hakuba, Kaito took his obsessive behavior for granted. Before, he used to dread having to dance around the other, to play mind-games and hope that Hakuba eventually dropped the idea of him being Kid. It was only after that behavior finally dialed back that Kaito realized he just enjoyed the London teen’s company. There were even some points where they were a little closer than most people would expect. They were …friends at the very least, even if Hakuba wanted to arrest him.
Kaito sighed, slumping against the table. He rested his chin flat, watching as beads of condensation dripped down his chocolate milkshake.
"I'm happy for them, really. But I can't stand being around them. Plus all of the Holmes talk, oh god."
Shiho chuckled through her straw, taking out her phone.
"I have an idea."
—
"Kaito!"
He glanced up from his breakfast, seeing the way Shinichi's eyes sparkled and immediately knew what he was going to say.
"Saguru and I are going to a pop up exhibition for Holmes in Tokyo on Sunday! Do you want to come with us?"
...Saguru? Oh, so they were on a first name basis now.
Kaito chewed on his toast, and his answer, for a few extra seconds before shaking his head.
"Sorry, I'm hanging out with Heiji these next 4 days. You guys have fun though."
Shinichi paused, then narrowed his eyes.
"Are you going to mess with him again?"
"Who do you take me for?" Kaito ignored the way Shinichi stared at him, taking a sip of his tea. "We have actual plans."
"What on earth could you two possible be do—"
"Kai-chan!" Yukiko called, walking into the dining room with a large duffle bag. "I found your old bokken, shinai, and bat in the attic! I washed your exercise clothes too!"
Kaito stood and took the bag from her.
"Thanks, Mom! You saved me from having to buy new ones!"
Yukiko crossed her arms. "They're old! You should ask your new best friend to help you buy new ones!"
"Best friend?" Shinichi balked.
"Well Shin-chan, I'm off. Tell Hakuba I said hey!"
"...Tch!"
—
Hanging out with Heiji was a lot more fun than Kaito was expecting.
At first, he thought perhaps Heiji would be like Shinichi, but that thought was immediately dashed when Heiji voiced his annoyance about Shinichi and Hakuba.
"All this over some fake detective and a dead author! Though I guess I'm happy he's got an outlet, but he doesn't even call anymore!"
Huh. Looks like Kaito wasn't the only one Shinichi had been excluding.
"Well whateva, let 'em have their fun nerdin' out. Ya and me, Kaito," Heiji put an arm around the other's shoulders. "Are gonna have a blast! Four days in Osaka, I gotta show ya everythin'!"
And Heiji kept that promise.
They (and Kazuha, who ended up tagging along the second day) did food tours, played and watched some baseball games, did some kendo, and even went to an amusement park. He also caught a glimpse of some big gems in a museum that could be perfect vessels for spare pieces of Pandora.
By the late afternoon of his last day in Osaka, Kaito was already dreading returning to Tokyo.
The three decided to walk to the train station together, talking about their days the entire time.
"It was great hangin' wit ya! Make sure ya visit again sometime, there's still so much to do in Osaka!"
"Sure, next time I have some days free, I'll be sure to stop by. Maybe we can invite Soshi next time too!"
They stepped into the station and ran into Shinichi and Hakuba of all people.
"Oi, Kudo! What're ya doin' in Osaka??" Heiji blinked, before his expression soured. "Ah. Ya brought the London detective here too."
Hakuba, though smiling, looking like a blood vessel in his brain was about to pop.
"I came to get my brother. Saguru was just with me today."
"Yer on a first name basis with him? Ya don't even call me by my first name!"
Shinichi looked at him as if he'd grown a third eyeball. "You don't even call me by my first name."
"Erh, well-"
"Shin, what's up?"
Shinichi immediately grabbed Kaito's wrist, tugging him towards the train platform. "I can't believe you went off to hang out with Hattori without me. I thought we did everything together!"
Kaito was confused now.
"What? You wouldn't have enjoyed hanging out with us, we were doing kendo and baseball."
"So? It's your interests, so I want to be a part of them. Isn't that why you were hanging out with us despite not liking Holmes?"
Kaito was so close to getting the hint, until Kazuha piped up from behind Heiji.
"Oh, I see! Yer jealous that yer brother was doin’ things without ya! How cute, it's like twin possessiveness!"
"That explains it," Hakuba nodded. "Shinichi was suddenly less excited about our excursion when he learned Kaito-kun wasn't joining us."
"What? I thought my third-wheeling was getting in the way of you enjoying your nerding out?"
"Who told you that? You're my brother. I'd choose you over anyone else in a heartbeat."
Suddenly, Kaito felt silly being jealous. Shinichi was including him because he wanted him around, not to show off how close he was to Hakuba.
Kazuha tilted her head.
"Why don't all four of ya spend time together?"
Before the twins could reply, Heiji and Hakuba immediately spoke up in unison, pointing at each other.
"I'm not spending a single moment with him!"
Kaito glanced towards Shinichi. “Is this why you didn’t invite Heiji?”
“You think I wanted to deal with these two at each other’s throats all day?”
Heiji raised an eyebrow, glaring over at Shinichi now. “So what’s yer excuse fer not textin’ me? We coulda hung out some other time!”
“What do you mean? I got rid of my old number that I used as Conan. I gave my current number to Kazuha to give to you. You could’ve just texted me at any time.”
Heiji immediately whipped his head to look at Kazuha, who was suddenly looking a bit more skittish than usual.
“Ahah… I was s’posed ta do that, huh…”
“Well, that’s one misunderstanding cleared up.”
And yet, Heiji wasn’t done lashing out. Since the phone number issue was the fault of a third party, he still had a bone to pick with Shinichi.
“Alright, then what about the first name thing?”
“What about it?”
“Everyone here calls each other by their first names except me n’ you!
“I’ll go first! Shinichi!” Heiji said triumphantly, as if it was something that deserved praise. When Kaito gave him a thumbs up, he beamed in a puffed-up way, proud of himself.
Shinichi crossed his arms, looking like he wasn’t going to even entertain the notion, and yet…
“...Heiji.”
Everyone seemed to freeze then, much to Kaito’s confusion. Why does it seem like something bad just happened?
“...Shinichi.”
“Heiji.”
“S-Shinichi…”
“Heiji.”
“S-Sh…Shin—”
“Heiji. Heiji Heiji Heiji Heiji.”
Heiji’s face was deep red, and he had crumpled to his knees in submission. And yet, Shinichi was annoyed, so he kept on berating the other teen with his own name until Heiji was begging for mercy.
Hah…
“What about you, Kaito-kun?”
Kaito blinked, turning to look at Hakuba. He’d almost forgotten he was here, honestly.
“Hattori was wrong about two things; I don’t use his first name. And you don’t use mine.”
“...
“Saguru-kun!” Kaito beamed, causing Hakuba to immediately avert his eyes. There was a faint dusting of red on the tips of his ears.
“Geez, everyone is so weird about first names!” Kazuha huffed, crossing her arms.
Kaito chuckled, but once he was certain no one was looking at him, he quickly fanned away the blooming blush on his cheeks.
“P-phew—”