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Spoke stood in front of the door of his dormitory. His hand laid on the top of the door knob, hesitating to twist the knob.
His mind helplessly drifted back to a specific person. Ashswagg. The very person he had foolishly trusted.
Mapicc had tried to warn him about the person, but Spoke had always shrugged it off and defended him.
Now, it felt as if his own actions had made him dig his own grave. He should’ve listened, but he didn’t.
He suddenly felt a lump in his throat. A sob was threatening to come out, but he took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself down.
It didn’t work, but he had the courage to open the door now. Actually, it was more because he didn’t want to stand in front of a door, looking like a creep.
Twisting the knob, the door lend him to a quiet, dark room. He had always come back late at midnight from walking around in dark corners around the place.
He usually did it to clear his mind or sometimes spend time with his best friend, Mapicc. Mapicc would try to make him go back to his dorm when it’s too late.
But Spoke would refuse. He hated sleeping with a passion for some reason. Mapicc really wanted for him and Spoke to sleep, but leaving is basically putting Spoke in danger.
Spoke stepped inside the dorm, gently closing the door to not make a noise, then locking it. His steps felt too loud in the rooms of silence.
He guessed that his roommates were long knocked out. They always were. He would come back while all of them were asleep or too tired in their rooms to hear him.
One Nether demon had always slept late, but always before midnight. Spoke doesn’t often see that guy, but whenever he does, he would always spend time ragebaiting him.
One End demon either sleeps early or isn’t home the entire night from time with his friends. Something Spoke could relate the most out of all the roommates.
Only one avian would sleep in a reasonable hour and wake up in a reasonable hour. The only times when they stay up late is before upcoming exams. Spoke knows because he usually hears shuffling coming from the room.
Spoke’s mind was messy. Thinking about every mistake, argument, yell he has had or experienced. His busy mind was starting to hurt.
He could’ve done something better. He IS better. He did everything he could to help anybody. No- no! He isnt…
He isn’t cruel, like Ashswagg.
He isn’t evil, like Ashswagg.
He isn’t alone, like Ashswagg.
He isn’t anything, like Ashswagg.
He swears to the gods that he isn’t. He is doing great! Ashswagg was wrong. Mapicc told him that. Leowook promised that he isn’t. Planetlord said that it’s fine.
If only he could stop his overwhelming thoughts. If only he could just forget everything right there. If only-
“Yo, anybody there?” A voice snapped him out of his thoughts almost immediately. He felt as if his breath has stopped
Spoke stood in a place, not being able to move in the dark room. He was usually fast and quick in these situations, getting out of it smoothly.
Today, he wasn’t. He had been too tired to even properly think. That voice… Yeah, he forgot who it was.
All he knew was that it was either Flame or Wemmbu. Parrot had a soft-spoken voice. He can tell Parrot apart from everyone, but who is this…
“I legit heard you, bro.” Spoke finally realized who it was. It was Wemmbu, the End demon next to his room.
Spoke started cursing to himself in his thoughts. Why would Wemmbu be here right now? Why does it have to be this day?
Wemmbu’s footsteps got closer. “Hello~” He sang out before finally noticing a figure. “Is that…” He tried getting a look, but couldn’t see in the dark.
The voidling hadn’t worn his usual rainbow bandana at the moment, so it was hard to see without the color.
He had his back turned as well, including the fact he was wearing the uniform’s dark clothes. Spoke slowly turned around, his white eyes giving out who it was.
Voidlings had slightly glowing eyes, so spotting them in the dark would be easy with their front, but behind them is not so easy.
Wemmbu paused, his expression shifting into something. Their eyes locking for a moment before Spoke’s eyes immediately drifted to the floor.
Spoke usually stared people in the eyes. As a voidling, he usually wouldn’t blink very often and that led to people being creeped out.
Parrot and Flame had mentioned it to him the first day staying in his dorm. Parrot would make him practice blinking normally to not creep people out.
Flame completely supported that idea because the first few days Spoke was fucking creepy to be around, considering his optionally silence and mischief.
However, Spoke would forget sometimes. Wemmbu never commented on it and stayed cool. Spoke liked staying with Wemmbu, but he never had time to.
Spoke didn't want to meet someone’s eyes. It felt all too overwhelming in one single day. He started to feel his tears once again, but it was dark, so he hoped that Wemmbu wouldn’t notice.
Spoke silently hoped that Wemmbu would go on with his day, act like nothing happened and- “Why are you still awake?...” Oh, great.
Wemmbu’s words were filled with concern, but also careful consideration of words, not wanting to hit a defensive spot from the younger boy.
Spoke shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. He bit the inside of his cheek, avoiding using his fangs since if he did, he'd probably bleed.
Spoke could come up with a lie smoothly. Why can’t he do it now? “Uh, I-I went out with my friends.” Spoke immediately frowned heavily.
The stutter basically told everything. Spoke was about to shrink away in fear before Wemmbu’s voice made him flinch entirely.
“Went out with your friend at midnight?” Wemmbu said, unconvinced as he raised an eyebrow. Well, technically it was true.
But the positive lie would have worked better if he hadn’t sounded so nervous, weak and if he hadn’t had tear stains on his black smokey skin.
It wasn't very noticeable, but if you stare long enough, you’ll see it. “And where did you go? I don’t think any places are open at this hour.” Fuck.
Spoke didn’t want to say that they had been talking in an ungodly hour. He wasn’t supposed to come back at midnight, but Ash had put him into a long moment of nausea and sobs that made him last hours long before finally coming back.
Spoke’s nervous expression compared to Wemmbu’s concerned and deadpanned one. Spoke’s hand unconsciously moved, fidgeting with his fingers.
If he stays silent, Wemmbu will just be more suspicious. No, Spoke isn’t stupid enough to think Wemmbu is stupid.
Spoke had to put a smile on his face, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I just went to their dorm, you know?” Spoke forced a casual expression, but his eyes betrayed him.
Wemmbu stayed quiet, observing the young boy. He couldn’t figure out what happened, but the way the voidling acted was saying “something happened between me and my friends and I’m badly trying to hide it.”
He knows another thing though. That rainbow bandana that Spoke wore everywhere was gone. Wemmbu had seen how much Spoke loved it.
Mid-Class? Rainbow bandana
Competitions? Rainbow bandana
Running late? Rainbow bandana
No colorful accessories rule? Rainbow bandana
It was as if his and the headband’s lives were connected. Wemmbu knew that, everyone knew that actually. He always wore it.
As silence filled the room, Spoke had assumed Wemmbu took it as nothing and left him alone. Hopefully.
Spoke was planning to bolt straight into his room and run away, his left leg already taking a step back. Until…
“Spoke.” Wemmbu’s still here? Spoke could feel himself pause at the voice.
Wemmbu suddenly placed a hand on the voidling’s shoulder, noticing the flinch almost immediately. Odd.
Before Wemmbu uttered a word, Spoke suddenly pulled away harshly. He took a step back, his eyes meeting the other.
Spoke couldn’t keep the eye contact for long as tears started to form in his eyes. He bit his lips, feeling his sharp fang hurting it, but he couldn’t care less.
Spoke stared at the End demon before running off to his room, covering his face as well. He ended up slamming the door before his legs gave up when he finally reached the bed.
He silently hoped that the door slam hadn’t woken up Parrot or Flame… Or worse. Both. He immediately pulled the sheets to cover himself.
Spoke could feel his breathing get shakier as his tears started to fall unconsciously. But.
He had forgotten one thing.
Locking the door.
Oh, great and now Wemmbu’s going to barge inside his room. How could he be so stupid?
He had always been stupid, despite the straight A’s and normally high marks. He always makes mistakes no matter what.
He just misses the warmth of his home. Maybe not with his parents, but with his siblings. When his little brother would come around, wiping Spoke’s tears when he had his breakdowns.
Or when his little sister pulled him into a hug when he took the beatings for his younger siblings. He won’t feel that hug anymore.
There were bad memories in that house, but he had always remembered the times when he comforted his little brother.
After getting yelled at by his father
When he would make flower crowns by using roses for his sister. Seeing her smile always made his mood better.
Spoke did it to distract her from the loud arguments inside the house.
He misses his siblings, Becky and Rose. He unconsciously gripped the bed sheets, his body trembling and shaking as he sobs to himself.
He was so lost in his thoughts to hear the knocking then the door creaking open. He had only noticed when he heard the door close and footsteps coming.
His cries started to become muffed, covering his sobbing noises. Why is Wemmbu here? Spoke could only hope that Wemmbu just shrugs and leaves him the fuck alone.
Well, that didn’t happen. He can’t actually lock the door anyway. Apparently when he first came to his dorm, some of the door locks had been broken from last year.
They promised to fix it, but they never did. Spoke expected Wemmbu to yell or hit him. He waited for a “Really, Spoke? Crying?”
Wemmbu was rather a sarcastic person and can be explosive with his emotions sometimes. However, Spoke had never been around an angry Wemmbu once nor had he seen Wemmbu mad with his roommates.
Whenever Wemmbu was mad, he usually didn’t come back to the dorms. Parrot had told him about it the first day he came. Wemmbu and Flame still had arguments outloud though.
Spoke expected something. He waited and waited. Expecting an explosive response, but all that came was no yell or physical force against.
Wemmbu kneeled beside the bed, his head resting on the edge of the bed as he spoke. “Dude.”
Spoke realized how close Wemmbu was to him. It only made him feel smaller. “What.” The words came off colder than he expected.
His voice sounded slightly sick from crying and that made him feel horrible. “ThatssoembarrassingOhmygodIshouldnthavesaidanythingIamsostupid” His mind immediately went on with words and words.
Wemmbu didn’t say anything about it, but he did shift his position. Spoke was surprised that Wemmbu didn’t say anything about it.
He still didn’t like the silence because he’ll be forced to listen to his own thoughts. He won’t be able to distract himself if so.
Suddenly a hand was placed on the blanket he had over his head. Spoke gripped the sheets once more tighter than usual.
He closed his eyes, bracing for something horrible. A hit, a slap, anything-! Something! And-
A pat.
A pat on his head. All Wemmbu did was a pat. He felt his tears once again, sobbing more than he should’ve
It felt like the same way when Mapicc would pat his head as a joke when he was zoning out in class after everyone else left.
He always zoned out in class, not paying attention nor taking notes. One time Parrot found out about and immediately went to Spoke to lecture to him, as if he was a child.
It sounded funny. It felt funny, but the comfort of someone treating him, like their younger brother, made him feel cared for.
He never noticed it until now, but Flame would often defend him in his banters. Now that he thinks about it…
Maybe he wasn’t alone after all. He had Mapicc, Leo, Planet and many others, but that made him feel invalid as well.
As Spoke was going to run inside his thoughts more, Wemmbu did another pat on his head. Spoke had completely forgotten that Wemmbu is still here.
The pats started to feel comforting after a few minutes of tensing up. Eventually, the sobbing and trembling stopped.
Before Spoke knew it, exhaustion had consumed him into a deep sleep. Putting him in an unconscious sleep.
When he finally woke up, Wemmbu was nowhere to be found in his room. Spoke basically shot up from his bed when he woke up.
Spoke’s eyes immediately went to the clock on his desk. Eight AM was said on it. EIGHT AM? That’s the latest Spoke had slept his entire life.
He hated sleeping with a passion for some reason. Sleeping this long was definitely alien to him.
He normally woke up around five AM. Cracking teasing jokes to Flame who was pretty grumpy in the morning.
During this time, everyone should be awake. Spoke had his back up-right before flopping onto the bed again.
He really didn’t want to get up. He still felt tired from yesterday, but he’s got class and if he doesn’t wake up now, he’ll be late.
It’s not like for him to care about being late, but he certainly didn’t want to lose his marks, otherwise he’ll be absolutely beaten up when he visits his parents.
Actually, Spoke had his classes around ten AM, but usually spent a long time, getting lost in the big school, so he had to wake up early.
Spoke stood up from his bed, feeling the cold floor almost immediately. He felt slightly dizzy from waking up too fast.
But, he tried waking anyway. He had to hold the handle of the door for support when he finally reached the entrance of the room before leaving the room.
The light blinded him, causing him to pause and blink a few times. He barely noticed his roommates who were chatting.
Spoke slipped away quietly to avoid drawing attention that he was awake, walking straight towards the bathroom.
After getting ready, he went to his room to grab his rainbow bandana, but as he was trying to find it, he suddenly remembered that he lost it when he ran away from Ash in shame and tears.
Spoke sighed before turning to a mirror. He looked completely weird and bland without his bandana, especially with the uniform lacking color.
He looked like a person allergic to color. Growing up Spoke would wear anything colorful with the chance he gets. He didn’t like how voidlings have black smokey skin and white eyes that scare off people.
His bandana was an idea from Planet back in early high school. Planet wanted Spoke to wear something colorful, so that they could find him easier.
Unsurprisingly, Spoke wore that bandana daily and always. Hell yeah, he sleeps with it around his head as well.
Spoke had to leave his room though. As expected, he was met with Wemmbu sitting on the couch on his phone, Flame who already left, and Parrot who was preparing to leave.
Parrot looked up after tying his shoes, an expression of surprise washed over his face before he could stop it. “Spoke?”
The oldest’s tone was clearly confused, Parrot had never met Spoke in the morning because the youngest always left early. Too early.
Parrot stood up straight, an expression of confusion. “I thought you already left… That’s weird.” Parrot muttered, his expression became a thoughtful one before shrugging it off.
“Last time, I checked you had classes today…” he muttered “Bye, Spoke! Do good grades, work hard, and DO NOT burn the laboratory.” Parrot said, waving him off before leaving the dorm to go to his classes.
Wemmbu finally looked up from his phone, wearing a sweater, so that meant it was likely cold today. He was nonchalant for some reason, as if yesterday was nothing.
Spoke took a few steps to the room before the older End demon spoke. “Come on, I was waiting for you.” Wemmbu stood up, leading him to the front door.
Spoke was slightly confused. Waiting? Why was he waiting? Was it about yesterday? Was he going to scold him? Was he-?
“Hello~~ Earth to Spoke~~” He sang out, waving at the younger boy, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Spoke rushed over, putting on his shoes as he spoke. “Uh, yeah.. Sorry, Wemm” Spoke said, sheepishly.
Spoke had a nickname for Wemmbu because apparently the name “Wemmbu” was too long for him.
They ended up in a cafe. Spoke was dumbfounded. You can’t blame him though because imagine your homie sees you having a breakdown yesterday, then proceeds to bring you to a cafe the next day.
But Spoke didn’t complain. He barely went anywhere anyway, so it felt refreshing going to somewhere other than his class or dorm.
Wemmbu guided him to the counter. Spoke was normally fine about this, but he felt awkward from yesterday. He kept his eyes on the floor, then Wemmbu spoke.
“Sup, Egg.” Wemmbu said, with a smile. Egg? Spoke wondered. Wasn’t that Wemmbu’s friend that he always talk to or talk about.
Spoke remembered when him and Wemmbu would chat and Wemmbu would mention Egg as his best friend.
He took a risky glance at the barista. It was an older guy with pale skin and fairly white hair. The person looked about Wemmbu’s age.
Egg smiled, the angel’s shoulder loosen up immediately. “Hey, bro.” He said, in a nonchalant tone, yet with a smile. Does everyone Wemmbu knows is nonchalant?
Wemmbu looked up at the menu, humming quietly. Spoke suddenly felt Egg’s gaze on him, causing him shrink down.
Bro just fumbled his first impression of a person he never met.
Wemmbu quickly noticed Egg’s gaze on his roommate. He caught on pretty quickly and responded. “Oh, this is Spoke. The brother I told you.” He said, casually.
Spoke paused. Brother? When was he Wemmbu’s brother? Him and Wemmbu do not look alike nor are they related anyway!
The looking alike doesn’t matter because they can only be one species for a person, but they’re still not related.
But… Being called a younger brother felt… heartwarming for some reason. Spoke could feel himself smiling back a bit.
Wemmbu placed a hand on his shoulder before asking. “Hm.. What do you want?” He asked, staring up at the menu.
Spoke mumbled an “I don’t know” Wemmbu expected that anyway. Egg waited patiently before realizing he forgot to introduce himself.
“Oh, by the way… I’m Egg, Wemmbu’s friend.” Egg said, calmly, but Spoke swears that Egg was nervous since the older guy could barely hold a gaze from him.
Spoke nodded in response as Wemmbu quickly ordered. “A chocolate milkshake… And one latte, bro.”
Egg nodded before responding. “Dude, no way you’re drinking milkshakes.” He mumbled as he checked the order.
“No? It’s for Spoke. I don’t think he drinks caffeine, so I made a random order.” Wemmbu laughed. Spoke felt embarrassed for having such childish drink, but Wemmbu wasn’t wrong.
Spoke certainly does not drink caffeine. He hates coffee and he absolutely loves sweets. Wemmbu probably knew that because Spoke would bring back sweets every week.
Plus no one in this dorm had seen him drink coffee anyway, so that was expected.
It wasn’t long before their orders were made. Wemmbu grabbed one for himself and one for Spoke. It seemed like Wemmbu wasn’t going to sit anywhere and stand beside the counter, so Spoke had to stand awkwardly.
Egg and Wemmbu kept having their small little chats when there were no customers or orders at the time. Sometimes, Wemmbu would ruffle his “little brother”s hair.
Suddenly, years of being treated as the disappointment of the family disappeared. Spoke felt like a child again.
Maybe this is what it feels like to have an older brother.