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“Lloyd is the green ninja!”
That's what Wu had said as if the world hadn't just began to crumble. It’s just another cruel joke played on me by destiny, my son, my Lloyd, the Green Ninja. After we’d been separated for so long, now we’ll be separated for ever. And yet as the world falls apart, it isn’t my fate I think of, it isn’t even the horrors of having to face him on the battlefield, but instead all I can think of is the cruel irony of life. For thousands of years I had to battle with my mind, with my destiny, with everyone around me sitting in wait, holding their breath until the day I snapped, that life, that constant expectation on you to be something good or evil that’s the one thing I never wanted for Lloyd, I wanted him to have a better life than me a free life, a childhood, though perhaps it’s too late for that, even now. He’s still so young, but he’s already seen so much, he’s seen loss, abandonment, isolation, loneliness, hunger, cruelty and desperation all before he’d even lost all his baby teeth. And who is there to blame other than me?
Finally, my thoughts caught up with me.
“But that means.”
Wu and Lloyd turned to face me to confirm my fears. Wu was talking, something about our family, but I couldn’t hear him I could only look into Lloyd’s eyes, he looked smaller than he had only moments ago in my arms, his eyes were wide and desperate trying to understand what was happening, once Wu had finished talking Lloyd stepped closer to me shaking his head slowly. I felt sick. No, sick doesn’t even come close to how I felt, I’m not sure if I even felt at all. Even as the blue ninja exclaimed his worry about the Fangblade I couldn’t bear to take my eyes off of my son, I needed to get him out of here, I needed to talk to him, to comfort him, perhaps I needed him to comfort me like the selfish man I am. I moved, as quickly as I could sweeping Lloyd into my arms once more, he was so small, worryingly small, and announced to my brother and his ninjas that I would be taking him to his room, Wu gave me some directions towards the small room Lloyd had stayed in before he was captured. I nodded and thanked the ninja once more before leaving the bridge.
We didn’t speak, didn’t need to-didn’t want to. We didn't speak once I’d entered the room or even when I’d slowly shut the door. There was a little bed in the corner of the cabin with a stool next to it a small children’s book sat on top of it I recognized it from memories long ago dusty memories with Wu and one more clean one a soft memory of a warm nursery with silent baby listening to a man recite the lessons the book taught, a father and his son, my son . It was the first book I’d ever read to Lloyd, long before he could understand, long before he was old enough to remember. I’m glad he read it again; I’m glad Wu read it to him. Jealous, yes but glad none the less. I looked around for any clothes that weren’t covered in ash, but it seemed the only clothes there where the ones on my sons own back, stitched by his own hand… to look like me. I snapped out of my thoughts and moved towards the stool by the bed; I shifted Lloyd carefully so I could use my lower arms to carefully pick up the book and drop it on the bed. Right the arms, he had asked about the arms I’d have to explain them. I sat Lloyd down on the stool and he reluctantly let go of his hold round the back of my neck, he was silent and faced downwards as I slowly untied his little makeshift cape, perhaps sewing is something he could excel in, something he could do to help keep the line between The Legendary Green Ninja and Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon clear and distinct, the more blurred that line gets the more chance I could lose my son. My son.
“Lloyd”
I spoke it as softly as I could, but he did not react, so I repeated myself as I moved my hand underneath his chin tilting his head up to face me. It was twisted, creased in ways no child as young as that should be, a look that translated immense pain. I felt my heart race as soon as I saw it.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” I began scanning up and down his sides, his torso and his legs but could see not open wounds, he stayed silent.
“Lloyd.” I spoke firmly but moved one of my hands to cup his check, changing my tone to one a parent would use when trying not to worry their injured child. Because that’s what I was, what I am. A parent.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, I want to help, please son.”
And seemingly, in that one sentence perhaps even just in that one final word, the façade Lloyd had kept up during all his time at Darkley’s, all his time on the streets, all his time with the ninja and with the serpentine and even with Wu came crashing down like a blinding bolt of lightning. A sharp inhale marked the melting of his contorted facial features as they smoothed into something I recognized, something I had dreamed of all my time away, all I had wanted, my baby, my beautiful boy. I smiled at him and watched his eyes, and it was almost as if despite my changed appearance and our time apart he recognized my face to. My thoughts were cut short by a small presence on the hand that I was using to cradle his face, a tear, and suddenly more than one, hundreds, thousands of small droplets ,littering my sons face, that burned my skin by their mere presence. I began to wipe them away with my fingers when-
“I’m sorry”
“What?”
“I’m sorry” Lloyd said it again quieter this time, not like he was ashamed of it but like he was scared. I laughed softly in surprise shaking my head as I began to feel my eyes fill with their own burning droplets, my tears of poison so unlike my son’s own pearls.
“Whatever, do you have to be sorry for” my voice broke “You made a mistake perhaps even multiple and yet there is no one to blame here but me, apologies may be needed for others but not to me, never to me.”
He shook his head “No, not ‘bout that” his speech began to muffle itself in his emotion displaying his age to the world once more. “About, the Green Ninja… about being the Green Ninja” his voice trailed off as he continued the sentence face attempting to tilt downwards once again, but it’s planned route was halted by my hand caressing his cheek.
“I let you down, I wanted you to be proud of me” He forced his face downwards into his hands. “I just wanted you to be proud of me, but now you’ll never get to be proud of me ‘cause you have to hate me now!” He sobbed the sheer emotion shaking his body, his small lungs heaved and shuddered as he attempted to muffle his sounds of distress by biting his lip.
My arms moved before my mouth could wrapping around him, I slowly switched us around perching myself on the small stool and setting him on my lap, one hand migrated to his messy blonde hair, catching knots as my fingers weaved through it, something I would deal with later, another hand moved to his back rubbing comforting circles, my other two hands held him steady as I placed my chin on top of his head and closed my eyes.
“Never.” I whispered through gritted teeth “Never, ever think that I would hate you, I could never hate you, no matter what you do Green Ninja or not. If I ever lose myself so much to the evil in my blood that I ever hate you, then know, know, that whoever that person is they aren’t me.”
I pulled Lloyd back slightly to look him in the eye; this was important, one of my biggest fears perhaps my biggest, losing myself to this curse to this venom so deeply that even my overpowering love for Lloyd could be corrupted. I needed to make this clear to him, especially now.
“Even if that person looks like me, sounds like me or even has only one of my memories swimming around in his head, it is not me. And if you must face him, you will not hold back, as the Green Ninja you will have to face me as destiny has written and in that battle. You. Will. Not. Hold. Back.”
I take his shoulders and gently push him back further using a spare hand to tilt his chin up to look in my eyes.
“I am asking you as Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, not as the legendary Green Ninja, that no matter who and no matter when, you fight and you don’t hold back, because your life is not worth any prophecy”
He looked up at me eyes wide with recognition, and then I saw them steel over as a smirk itched up his face and an eyebrow followed in it’s wake, it was like looking in a mirror that was thousand of years late, he nodded and stuck his hand up a small pinky finger pointing towards me. I moved my hand slowly before intertwining my own pinky finger with his. Midnight black clashing with sun kissed tan.
“I promise”
He nodded so determined, so brave. His deep red eyes unwavering and certain. I smiled it felt warm just to smile like that.
“You know I never got to tell you why it is I have four arms.”
I straightened my back making myself taller. Lloyd grinned, a feral one at that, barring small sharp fangs in anticipation.
“That’s right!”
There was a beat of silence as we looked at each other expectantly, though his patience withered rather quickly.
“Well why do you have four arms?”
I wrapped all four of them around him in a swift movement.
“All the better to hug you with!”
I exclaimed as I pulled us both down onto the bed using my body to cushion his fall as he yelped in shock, breaking into a fit of giggles as soon as he hit my chest. And what a perfect sound it was. I secured my arms around him properly once more one of them naturally migrating to his hair, another one of my hands lightly laying a blanket over him, his laughter had slowly died down into silence as he titled his head to the side. We lay for a while just breathing as my hand slowly combed through his miraculously still soft hair.
That was hours ago now and Lloyd is fast asleep, softly purring on my chest while my hand continues its rounds of clearing knots and bringing comfort, Wu and his ninja had gone to sleep a while ago, Wu had come to check on us but left swiftly after wishing me goodnight. Now I just sit with my thoughts. Before he fell asleep, he spoke about not wanting to be the Green Ninja at all, but we will have to speak about that in more detail in morning I suppose. There is one thought however that sits at the forefront of my mind. I will have to throw the fight, if I am able to do so, whether it’s next week or next decade whether he is 8 or 25. I will lose the final battle, so he can live. I will fight the venom for him with every part of myself. Destiny may have placed a target on his back, but I will not aim for it. Lloyd stirred, in my ruminating my hand had stopped its constant presence on my little boy’s scalp. I place it back into his hair using it to push head closer to me as I lean in to place a gentle kiss on the top of his head. I let my face rest there as my eyes close, but not before my mind runs wild once again. I will die so he can finally live. And with that the world goes black.