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Yosuke heaved as he ran into Junes, using it as a temporary shelter from his pursuer who had been chasing him down what seemed to have been the entirety of Inaba before he finally lost her. She’d been following him all day at school, and waited eagerly right outside his classroom, continuing to follow Yosuke even as he sped walked away from her, which eventually turned into a full-on sprint, all the way to Junes.
Normally Yosuke would love attention from women. It had been about 9 months since the move to Inaba, and he hadn’t had a single girlfriend since his move (he blamed the people, and certainly not his lack of charisma). He’d been hopelessly yearning for a girlfriend ever since he got over Saki. To be the sole receiver of attention from a pretty girl, to gaze into her pretty eyes, to ride your motorcycle around with her in the backseat, wrapping her pretty hands around your waist…
But Hanako-chan was anything BUT pretty! After giving up on Teddie during the few weeks he had decided to “attend” Yasogami, Hanako had decided that Yosuke was the next-best option after him (how she even got to that conclusion, Yosuke had no idea) and convinced herself that Yosuke would fall for her even after she so gracefully invited herself onto his motorcycle. Thus began the tragedy that was now Yosuke’s life: Hanako, in pursuit of Yosuke, followed him everywhere he went, going as far as to visit Junes on the weekends… it was petrifying.
Seriously, when he went to the shrine and wished for love, this is not what he meant.
As he caught his breath in Junes, he heard a raspy, nasally shout of his name from afar, and he winced as he knew he had to go somewhere else.
His house wasn’t an option - Hanako had somehow found his address (he suspected Ms Kashiwagi, those two formed the weirdest friendship after the beauty pageant), and so he had to find somewhere else to seek recluse from his not-so-secret admirer.
There was really only one non-awkward option, so he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
The phone rang twice before the person on the other line picked up. Yosuke spoke before they could even say hi.
“Yo, Yu, I need a favor… I know this is really random, but can I come over right now? I’m kind of in a pickle…”
Yu paused, clearly surprised. “Oh, uhh…”
Yosuke panicked. “Please partner, I need to escape! I’ll tell you everything when I get there!”
Yosuke could hear the subtle sigh on the other side. “Okay, sure. I’ll be here.” Yosuke breathed a sigh of relief as he hung up, which was followed by another one of Hanako’s calls of his name. This one was clearly louder than the last one… Yosuke quickly ran out of Junes, taking the path to Yu’s house.
Thankfully, Yosuke somehow avoided Hanako on the way there, and Yu opened the door before Yosuke could even ring the doorbell. “Partner, you’re seriously a lifesaver…” Yosuke breathed out as he took off his shoes. He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he laid on the floor next to the couch.
“Yosuke-nii?” Nanako’s attention diverted from her trivia show as she looked at Yosuke curiously. Yosuke sat up quickly. “Nanako-chan! I hope you don’t mind if I stay here for a while… I need to talk to your big bro.”
“It’s okay! I like you because you work at Junes!” Alright, that’s not really what Yosuke wanted to be known for, but Nanako was just a kid, so he would forgive her this time.
“Thanks Nanako… uh, Yu, can we go into your room…?”
“Yeah, so long as you tell me what’s going on.”
At long last, Yosuke had found a safe haven. He plopped onto Yu’s couch as he fanned his face, trying to get rid of the heat left from running in the Inaba sun for the past 20 minutes.
Yu sat next to Yosuke, handing him a towel. “Yosuke, you’re drenched in sweat. What happened?”
“Dude, it’s a long story…” Yosuke said while accepting the towel. “You know how Hanako-chan was into Teddie? Well she must have a thing for people who work at Junes ‘cause she’s on my ass now! You must’ve noticed how much she’s been following me around this past week. She even showed up at Junes, it was seriously creepy…”
Yu nodded, recalling Hanako’s stalker-ish activities. “Was she chasing you with a knife or something? You look pretty roughed up…”
“I was running from her, man! I had enough of it today, usually she’d follow me all the way home! I just wanted some peace and quiet getting home for once, I don’t know when this is ever gonna end…” Yosuke, finally having the time to think, realised that he hadn’t been able to do his usual routine of blasting music in his ears as he walked home because of Hanako’s antics.
Yu seemed quiet as Yosuke broke the silence. “Well, anyways partner, thanks for letting me stay here. I seriously don’t know what I would do without you…” Yosuke continued wiping the sweat off his neck, looking away sheepishly.
“It’s no problem. But we need to find a way to get rid of Hanako. She might make it so we can’t enter the TV world, if she’s constantly following you.”
Yosuke smirked. Ah yes, Yu Narukami, always the one to be thinking logistically. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But honestly, I have no idea how to get her off my dick! She’s relentless, you saw how she destroyed my damn motorcycle!” Yosuke scowled as the memory replayed in his mind.
Yu put his hand on his chin. “Have you tried… rejecting her?”
“Of course I have, but she’s convinced that she can win me over somehow.’
“What about telling her you have a girlfriend?”
“I tried that too! But she said that she didn’t believe me! What an insult! It’s not gonna work unless I genuinely show up in front of her with a girl pinned to my arm-”
A light bulb seemed to appear atop Yosuke’s head.
He could get someone to pretend to be his girlfriend! It’s not like he could actually get one, he was fresh out of options, but Chie or Yukiko were right there!
That’s right, he’d get one of them to fake-date him and then… they’d have to hold hands and hug in front of Hanako… Yosuke’s brows furrowed as he imagined getting all up-close and personal with Chie Satonaka, of all people. Hanako would probably even make them kiss for even more proof! And dating Rise wasn’t even an option, he’d get way too clammy in her presence. Actually, none of the girls would even agree to this stunt unless he paid them. “Aw, dammit…”
Yu turned his head to Yosuke. “What?”
“I was just thinking, what if I pretended Chie or Yukiko was my girlfriend, but that’d be so damn weird…” Yu nodded and continued thinking.
“Oh yeah, did I mention she knows the address to my house? I swear it was that teacher Kashiwagi who gave it to her, you know how they’ve been besties since the pageant-”
Another light bulb appeared. But this time it was actually a great idea. “Dude, dude, I know what to do!”
“What, partner?” Yu uttered skeptically.
“What if YOU pretend to be my girlfriend?”
Yu looked at his Yosuke, down to his pants, and back at Yosuke again. “I’m a man, Yosuke. I have a pe-”
“Wha- I KNOW THAT!” Yosuke said exasperatedly. “No, I mean the cross-dressing pageant- you can just crossdress again! Yukiko did your makeup really good, when I first saw you, I almost thought you were actually a girl for a second!”
“Uh…”
“Please partner! This is the only solution!” Yosuke clapped his hands together and put on his best puppy-eye look that his partner always seemed to give in to. Yosuke never questioned it.
Yu blushed and looked away. “I mean, I don’t care but, are you sure you want to pretend to do all that couply stuff with me?”
Yosuke thought for a second. For some reason, he didn’t feel as weird thinking about holding hands and hugging his partner as he did with Chie or Yukiko. Even kissing semed to be okay… they’d just kiss on the cheek or something.
“Yeah dude! I’d much rather do it with you than anyone else!”
Yu tried to ignore the connotations of that statement as they started sorting out the logistics of Yosuke’s plan.
–
“So… you want me to dress up Yu-kun again?”
Yosuke nodded as Yukiko looked at him in confusion. Chie blinked, looking up at Yosuke from her seat on the roof’s pipes. “Sorry, I’m not following - you’re gonna date Yu as a way to get rid of Hanako-chan?”
“Yes, exactly! Trust me, it’ll work. I’m seriously done with her bullshit…”
Kanji rubbed his head. “But um, why does senpai have to turn into a girl? Can’t you just date him as is-”
“Because I’m not gay, Kanji! Geez, it’d be so much worse if the entire school thought that I was a freakin’ homo or something like that.”
Kanji cringed as silence rang throughout the investigation team. Naoto put her head in her hands.
“A-anyways! Can you do it, Yukiko?”
“I can, but… everyone already saw Yu as a girl at the pageant. How am I supposed to make him unrecognizable?”
“I don’t know, man! Just put him in a wig and give him some new clothes or something!”
“Uh… if you say so…” Yukiko looked at Chie as she sighed.
“Welp! This seems like a job for three people!” Rise interjected excitedly. “Yukiko, Chie, let’s work together to turn senpai into the prettiest girl Yasogami has ever seen!”
Yosuke had never loved Risette as much as he did now. “Yes! That’s the spirit!” Yu looked at Yosuke with a solemn expression as he accepted his fate.
“Alright, I’ll meet you guys at the usual spot before school so that Hanako can see me with my new girlfriend in the morning!” Yosuke’s plan was actually working. He was really proving himself as the team’s strategist now.
Rise smiled. “Don’t worry senpai, you can borrow my extra uniform, I’m sure it’ll fit~”
Yosuke didn’t even care that Rise was taking his girl (?), he was just glad to finally have Hanako off his back.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”
–
Tomorrow turned into today. And today was the day of liberation. Yosuke trudged his way to school, waiting near the spot he had been rolling around in a trashcan when Yu allegedly first saw him. Those were the days…
“Yosuke! We’re here!” Chie called out from behind him. Yosuke took his headphones off, placing his MP3 player back into his shirt pocket as he turned around. Yukiko, Chie and Rise were standing there with-
Yu. He was literally beautiful. Sporting the Yasogami girls’ uniform, the short skirt exposed the entire length of his legs, on which he was wearing white socks that went all the way up to his knees. He wore a loose long-sleeved gray cardigan, presumptuously to hide his manly build, and the girls had transformed his hair into a long braid that ran down his left shoulder. But his makeup was the best part - Yu always had soft features, and Rise had clearly taken advantage of that by giving him long lashes and what even seemed to be lip plumper. The man in front of Yosuke didn’t even look like Yu Narukami anymore. Or a man at all.
Yosuke’s mouth hung open as his face tinged red. Even Rise’s beauty paled in comparison to how Yu looked right now. Yosuke caught sight of Chie’s judgmental expression and quickly snapped out of it.
“H-hey partner! Man, you uh- you really look like a girl… you guys really nailed it!” he said awkwardly.
Rise snickered. “Yeah, he looks really good, huh? I think you won’t be the only one falling for him today.”
“Shut up Rise…” Yosuke stared at the paved road beneath him. He had no idea how pretty his partner could look like as a girl. At this point he wasn’t even sure if he could make it through Yu pretending he was his girlfriend the entire day, if he was this drop-dead gorgeous!
“Well, Yu - or should I say Yuki - go on to your boyfriend!” Rise shoved Yu forwards as he stumbled, clearly not used to the breeze on his exposed thighs. “Hi, Yoyo-kun,” he started with the fakest high-pitched squeaky voice Yosuke had ever heard.
Yosuke shook his head, remembering that the person in front of him was still his partner. “You’re gonna need to practice your girl voice, dude… and don’t call me that!”
“Why? But it’s cute, and aren’t we dating now?” ‘Yuki’ grabbed Yosuke’s arm, placing a hand on his bicep. Yosuke was not used to all of this touching. He was going to have to work on that. Damn Yu for being so forward, even when playing a role!
“Uh, I guess…” Yosuke looked away, blushing, suddenly aware that his new ‘girlfriend’ was the same height as him. He hadn’t thought about that when he asked.
He ignored the girls’ snickers in the back as he and Yu began walking. “Alright, once we get to the school gate, she’s gonna be waiting there getting ready to harass me. So we’ll hold hands once we get close, and once you see her, just swerve, okay?”
“Okay.” Yu squeaked. Yosuke stared at him. “You know you don’t have to play the part right now, right? You can talk normally. And you don’t gotta be clutching my arm like that!”
Yu tightened his grip on Yosuke’s bicep. “I look like a girl, it only feels natural to act like one, too.”
Yosuke could feel the heat on his face. For some reason, having his partner clutching on to him like a damsel in distress felt… good? It was wholly unnatural for Yu Narukami to be the one relying on Yosuke, so him being all cute and clingy made Yosuke jittery inside. He brushed the feeling off, attributing it to Yu’s faux display of femininity.
As they got closer to the school gate, Yu immediately took hold of Yosuke’s hand, clearly locked in on the mission of pretending to be Yosuke’s girlfriend. It was hard for Yosuke to ignore the rough texture of Yu’s hands, calloused from fighting in the TV world and the 5 separate part-time jobs he had took on. And yet, being the only one among his friends to know the feel of his partner’s hand made Yosuke feel special. He subconsciously rubbed Yu’s hand with his thumb, relishing the feeling of finally holding hands with someone else. Yu noticed the brush of Yosuke’s thumb and turned to look at him.
As Yosuke was about to sputter nonsense with Yu’s pretty eyes in his face, Yu suddenly spoke. “We’re almost there, get ready.” Yosuke sighed internally - after all, Yu was still treating this stunt like a mission. Yosuke narrowed his eyes, searching for Hanako amongst the people standing around the gate. He spotted her in the spot she’d been at every morning for the past week, peering at the crowd of students walking into school to find Yosuke.
Yosuke gestured to Yu. “She’s there, on the right. Make sure she sees us but don’t let her talk to me!” Yu nodded in affirmation as the two of them felt the stares of their classmates around them.
Yosuke ignored the whispers he heard around him, which were mostly hushes of disbelief about how Junes boy bagged a baddie. And how weirdly tall his new girlfriend was. And also how Hanako was standing right in front of the two like a jealous side chick-
Yosuke had spent too much time listening to the gossip surrounding him that he’d completely forgotten to pay attention to Hanako, who now had her hands on her hips, clearly checking Yu out.
“Yosuke, who is this?” Hanako said in that pretentious tone of hers. Yu tried swerving past her, but she quickly blocked the way.
Yosuke scowled. “It’s my new girlfriend, Hanako. Now move outta the way, I’m gonna be late for class-”
Hanako crossed her arms. “No. I don’t believe you.”
Yosuke’s eye twitched in irritation. “What is there to not believe? She’s here. We’re holding hands. Just get off my back!”
“I don’t think a girl this pretty would get with you unless you paid them. Except for me, of course. If you’re really dating, then kiss.”
Yu eyed Yosuke, understanding why Yosuke wanted to get rid of Hanako so bad. Yosuke let go of Yu’s hand to gesture in exasperation, clearly irked by the insult. “Why? Just let us get to class!” Yosuke tried moving past her again, but Hanako was adamant, and also surprisingly agile when she wanted to prove a point, it seemed. After a while of missed swerves past Hanako, both nearly Yu and Yosuke dying from heat exhaustion in the summer sun, and all of their friends leaving them to fend for themselves, Hanako was still being the biggest ragebaiter in all of Inaba.
“Oh my GOD! Fine! If you want us to fulfill your little delusion or whatever, then so be it!” Yosuke swung his head around and pecked Yu on the lips. It was possibly the worst first kiss for either of them to ever have; their teeth clashing and both sweaty from the heat, but it was still enough for Yosuke to form a red blush all across his face (it was definitely just the sun) and leave butterflies in his stomach.
Yu froze as a beaten Hanako finally moved out of the way. Yosuke grabbed Yu’s wrist and stomped into school. Yosuke looked back and swore he saw a faint blush amidst the sweat and melting makeup on Yu’s face, but brushed it off as the heat causing spontaneous rosacea.
Internally Yosuke was short circuiting. He just kissed his best friend! And it was a terrible one too! But strangely, it left him with a funny feeling in his stomach and a voice in his head that screamed at him to do it again, and again and again and again - just to experience that euphoric feeling of giddy nervousness over and over.
They began cooling down in the boy’s bathroom, both already late to class. Yu fiddled with the unfamiliar makeup on his face which had already been partially wrecked from sweat. “Hey, uh…” Yosuke began as Yu pushed a fake eyelash up. “I’m sorry for kissing you, I know it was your first kiss and also mine, she was just so annoying, and I wanted her to shut up-”
“Yosuke,” Yu interrupted. “It’s okay. I don’t care, trust me. You can do it again if you want.”
Yosuke stared at Yu blankly. “Are you sure? It’s kinda weird cause, you know, we’re both men and I didn’t expect my first kiss to be gay and I’m sure you didn’t either-”
Yu had an unreadable expression on his face, letting Yosuke ramble on about his thoughts on man-to-man kisses before he finally speaks. “Well, I’m dressed as a girl and I also have socks on so technically it wasn’t gay.”
“Geez partner, of all things, that’s not what I expected you to say. But that somehow makes me feel better. Thanks for doing this for me dude, you’re the best.”
Yosuke is a simple man, Yu thinks.
–
I am a simple man, Yu thinks.
Yosuke had seriously taken his suggestion to heart, taking every single opportunity to kiss Yu in front of Hanako. Even if Yosuke caught the slightest glimpse of Hanako he’d immediately pull Yu in for another peck on the lips, leaving Yu flustered and just… confused. Yosuke had been having anti-gay crashouts for the entire duration that Yu had known him, but if Yu was dressed up as a girl, it’s suddenly okay for Yosuke to kiss him?
Yu had no idea Yosuke was this touch-starved, but he let it slip because even under his nonchalance he was still a self-indulgent bastard who wanted to kiss the boy he’d been in love with for at least a couple months at this point.
When lunch time finally came, Yu and Yosuke sat on the roof after Yosuke’s plead for “some fresh air”. On any other day, Yu would be able to eat his lunch in no time, but he could feel the emanating tension in the air as Yosuke slurped down his mega-size cup noodles.
Yosuke perked his head up, clearly noticing Yu’s distress. “What’s up, Yuki? Not hungry?”
Yu noted the use of his fake name. “No… I’m good. Just feel weird, is all.”
“Then…” Yosuke started, clearly on autopilot. “Maybe this’ll make you feel better.”
Before Yu could even react, Yosuke leaned in and snuck the fifth kiss of the day onto Yu’s lips. Hanako was long gone at this point; she’d been struck down by kiss number three. Yet Yosuke continued to leave small pecks on Yu’s lips, much to his (internal) delight (and demise). But this one felt different from the others - it lingered, felt more intentional.
Yu’s face flushed with red as Yosuke suddenly whipped his head around, the tips of his ears turning bright pink. A beat of silence passed before Yosuke finally spoke and began sputtering. “Uh- um, partner, I’m sorry, I thought-”
“I’mseriouslyinlovewithyou.”
“I don’t know why I did that, I swear I’m not gay- Wait, what?”
The words had slipped out of Yu’s mouth before he could stop them. Yu shuddered in sheer embarrassment, thinking how out of character this was for him. But then again, Yosuke had a way of making Yu do things he would never do in a million years.
Yu waited in nervous anticipation at Yosuke’s confused expression. He couldn’t exactly take the words back, and there was no reasonable explanation for such an explicit declaration of love.
Yosuke slowly perked up, seemingly making a realization, as Yu grit his teeth in preparation for the inevitable “you’re disgusting”s or “ew”s coming his way.
“Ohh… oh, I get it partner, you’re just playing the act of my girlfriend! Don’t prank me like that!”
“Heh… yeah… just playing…” Yu didn’t know if he was meant to be happy that he hadn’t lost his best friend or disappointed at Yosuke’s downright stupidity (ironic considering his self-proclaimed role as the Investigation Team’s strategist, Yu thought).
“Man, you’re always so dedicated! I really admire you, you know. Sorry for kissing you for no reason… I guess you just play the act way too well!”
Of course. Yosuke had only kissed him because he had long lashes, pink cheeks, braided hair and a short skirt on.
The rest of the day passed without Yu’s disappointment fading. Yosuke continued kissing Yuki Narukami until the end of the day, when Yu finally removed his extensions and makeup. As Yu stepped out of the bathroom, still wearing the girls’ uniform but noticeably more manly from the shoulders up, Yosuke panicked. He sputtered for a bit before running off, out of the Yasogami gate, abandoning him and Yu’s plans to walk home together.
Yu stood with gray braids in one hand and a pack of makeup remover on the other, completely dumbfounded by Yosuke’s strangeness. First he’d gotten all flustered at the sight of Yu cross dressing, then he kept on kissing him insisting it was “not gay”, and finally when Yu takes the girl costume off he… runs off?
Whatever, Yu thinks, it’s an issue for another day. He was lucky enough to relish a full day of pretending to be in a relationship with Yosuke, if Yosuke decides to have a gay freakout, that’s not his problem.
He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment that Yosuke only liked him as a girl.
–
Yosuke paced around his room on Sunday morning, breaking down what he’d done the day before. He had kissed his best friend, not just once, but over and over again, using the excuse of his cross dressing to erase the inherent homosexuality of the act. In the moment, it felt reasonable, but now that Yosuke thought about it, it was NOT! NORMAL! AT ALL! And it was definitely not normal that he wanted to kiss Yu even more, kiss him in places he couldn’t at school, kiss him longer, deeper, even if he wasn’t cross-dressing. He just wanted to kiss plain old Yu.
But that didn’t make him gay, right?
Yosuke pulled out his phone and started erratically typing words into the search bar. What does it mean if i kissed my guy friend a lot yesterday when he was dressed as a girl pretending to be my girlfriend but i still want to kiss him even when hes not a girl
The first result that popped up was, of course, a Reddit post from someone else who had apparently been in his exact situation. Yosuke tapped on it and read the first comment:
You’re gay for him. Just tell him already.
Yosuke was a pretty skeptical guy, but if there was one person he trusted, it would definitely be a random Reddit user offering advice about the exact issue you’re facing.
He quickly swiped over to the messaging app and clicked on Yu’s contact.
Yosuke: yo can icome over rn
Yu read the message almost immediately and Yosuke watched as the three moving dots appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again, until Yu finally replied.
Partner: Yea sure. Door’s unlocked
Yosuke: omw
Yosuke thinks he’d just set a record for fastest time ran from his house to Yu’s. He pushed the door open slowly, and with no sign of Nanako or Dojima, ran up to Yu’s room. He slammed the door open to see Yu folding origami (he used those dextrous hands for good) and took the moment to catch his breath. Yu, seeing the state of Yosuke, developed a concerned expression.
“Yosuke, are you okay? What’s u-”
“Partner, can we keep kissing forever?”
That’s… not exactly how Yosuke planned the words to come out, but it expressed his intention all the same.
“...what?”
“Sorry, uh, I mean- you know, after yesterday, I realized that I really like kissing you, like really really like kissing you, and I thought it was ‘cause you were dressed as a girl but I think - I know now - that it was just because it was you, because I think I really like you? Or um, maybe… I love… you?”
Yosuke rubbed his head as Yu stared at him. Just as Yosuke was about to turn around and leave in dejection, Yu stood up, grabbed the collar of Yosuke’s shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss. Their first real one. Yosuke kissed back, leaning in, feeling all of his emotions at once. The kisses at school were just kisses, but this felt real, it felt ten times more satisfying than any other kiss could.
“I meant it,” Yu said as they pulled away from each other.
“Meant what?” Yosuke whined, slightly annoyed that they’d stopped kissing.
“That I’m seriously in love with you. And I have been for like, 3 months.”
If Yosuke wasn’t already red before, now he was the shade of a tomato. “I was just in denial back then, okay…” Yosuke squeaked. “And three months? No way, partner…”
“You’re so cute when you’re red,” Yu placed his hands on Yosuke’s cheeks, caressing his head. Yosuke’s embarrassment grew as Yu peckered kisses all over his face with “Iloveyou”s in between each kiss.
“Okay STOP just stop it already!” Yosuke pushed Yu backwards, causing him to land on the sofa, but not before he pulled Yosuke down with him. Yu was now below a flustered Yosuke, smiling ear to ear in euphoria.
“This is really happening? You really love me back?” Yu grinned as he placed his forehead against Yosuke’s. Yosuke grumbled, despite the smile on his face.
“...yeah… I love you, Yu.”