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Marco was fast asleep, but one particularly loud peal of thunder woke him. Not the kind of sitting-up-in-shock-awakening like Mario had quite often; but he just more or less opened his eyes, and closed them again when there was a bright light coming from the other side of the bed. He muttered a few curses under his breath, before shoving against Mario’s shoulder.
What the fuck are you doing?” His voice was raw and agitated. He didn’t like being woken in the middle of the night, let alone waking up to a ray of light entering his eyes.
Mario’s body tensed up a bit more under his touch, but he didn’t turn around. “Wikipedia.”
Marco turned his head toward the clock on the wall and saw it was three o’clock. ‘Wikipedia’ wasn’t really a proper explanation. “Doing what?” Marco insisted. He started to become pretty annoyed.
“I’m finding out what the exact risks of lightning are. How many conductors do you think there are in this neighbourhood?”
Marco dropped his head back in the pillow and growled. “Mario. What made you think three AM is the perfect time for starting a research about lightning?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s happening outside right now.” He turned his head at last. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were red. “For another, I’m afraid.”
Marco saw the fear in his eyes right away, and immediately felt sorry for being moody to his friend. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking at him apologetic as he caressed his left upper arm with his hand. It wasn’t likely to calm him down at once, but Marco just wanted to let him know he was there.
“It’s just terrifying,” Mario explained as he turned his whole body toward Marco. “The sound makes me feel like I am in the middle of war. Like any moment a bomb can drop onto this building and destroy everything and kill us and we haven’t even done all the things we wanted to do. That just scares me.”
Marco had moved his hand up to play with his brown hair. It was a bit dirty and messy, but it was still beautiful. Marco liked to rake his nails along the skin on his head. “We’re not in war, I promise,” he assured him.
“I know, but...”
“It just feels like that,” Marco filled in. “You know it’s bullshit, but you feel it anyway.”
Mario smiled at his choice of words, and nodded. “Plus, do you know that people actually die because of the lightning?”
Marco moved in a little closer. “Those occasions are rare, Mario. Don’t worry about that.” His eyes shot back and forth between Mario’s eyes, trying to see if his words brought any comfort.
“Up to ten people each year in Germany!” Mario protested. “And up to a thousand wounded. That’s a lot, Marco. It could be us. We could become part of the statistics. I don’t want to be dead.”
Marco smiled as he nuzzled Mario’s neck. “I know you don’t. You won’t be dead for a long time.”
“But...”
“There are lots of lightning conductors, don’t worry. I see them every now and then when I look out of my windows.” Marco pressed himself into Mario’s body and closed his eyes, half-heartedly fighting against the sleep.
“But I’m scared.”
Marco sighed. Apparently Mario had decided to be determined to stay up until the weather got better, and Marco couldn’t just let him panic all alone. So instead, he sat up straight suddenly.
“Come on,” he said as he offered Mario his hand. “I’ll show you.”
“Show me what?” Mario asked, but he took Marco’s hand nonetheless.
“The beauty in everything.” Marco winked and led Mario to the window, where he pulled the curtains away.
The sky was calm for now, but on the opposite side of the street, the rooftop was lit by a few big spotlights. Marco stood behind Mario and slid his arms around his waist, pointing his finger to the other side of the street.
“Look. You see that building over there?”
“Yeah,” Mario said and Marco could feel the word vibrating against his chest.
“On top of it there’s a conductor. It’s a really small thing, you see. Right there, on the left. And there,” Marco continued as he pointed at something more to the right. “It’s too dark to see now, but that giant building a few blocks away has another one, a bigger one.”
Mario focussed his eyes on the spot where he was supposed to see something, but he felt blind. “I don’t see it, Marco. I can’t see it. Did they take it away? How do I know it’s still there?”
“Trust me,” Marco whispered, putting an awful amount of pressure on Mario’s faith in him, but it seemed to work, because Mario relaxed a little bit.
“Wait, there’s another one.” Marco didn’t let go as he walked Mario to the other side of his apartment, to the window in the kitchen. “Right over there. It’s a bit distant, but it’s there. And if you look very well, I think you can see it.”
It took Mario a full minute, but eventually he said: “Ah, I see it.”
And then, without a warning, the sky was lit for a split second and there was nothing but the intense white lines in front of them, before it all went back to its usual dark blue. Marco could feel Mario jumping in surprise and then pressing back against him, trying to escape to anyplace.
“Shh, don’t worry,” Marco said softly, brushing his thumbs over Mario’s arms, playing with the tiny blonde hairs there. “Listen.”
Mario listened, but didn’t know what for. It remained silent until ten seconds later he heard the thunderclap.
“Thunder?” he asked in surprise.
“The longer the time between the thunder and the lightning, the more distant it is. Ten seconds means it’s pretty far, so there’s no need to be scared.” He knew his words wouldn’t make his fear disappear, but even the slightest decrease of it would be worth the try. “Try to enjoy it. Like they are fireworks.”
Marco remembered celebrating New Year’s with Mario’s family a few years ago, and the fascinated look on Mario’s face as he watched the firework explode in front of his eyes. How it was possible that Mario loved firework and hated lightning was still a miracle to Marco.
They said nothing as they stood in front of the kitchen window for a few minutes before the next flash came. Mario still tensed, but it wasn’t as bad as the last time.
“Isn’t it magical how somehow these shapes just exist in the sky, out of nothing? It’s pure energy you know.”
“I know. I just read all about it on the internet.” Mario laughed a little and felt his chest become a bit lighter already.
Marco hugged him tighter as he smiled.”I think that’s wonderful. The fact that two kinds of matter can be so strong that when they collide, they make the sky explode. It’s kind of like magic. It’s kind of like you and me.”
“Marco, this is not the time for cheesy comments like that,” Mario responded without looking at Marco.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Marco placed a peck on the corner of Mario’s mouth. He wrapped his arms a bit tighter around Mario’s stomach and the latter placed his own hands on top of Marco’s. They stood still for a couple of minutes, or maybe a couple of hours. They watched flashes of lightning, captivated by fear and fascination.
After some amount of time, when the lightning had calmed a bit, Mario yawned and leaned his head back against Marco’s shoulder.
“I think we should try to sleep again,” Marco suggested softly, pressing his lips against the skin of Mario’s neck without actually kissing.
“Yeah.” Mario followed Marco back to the bedroom. He liked Marco’s big bed, the comfort and the size, despite the fact that most of the time they fell asleep in each other’s arms, using up no more than half of the space.
Marco watched Mario closely as they settled back under the sheets. He had borrowed Marco’s largest pyjama T-shirt and it looked like a tent on him; it was adorable. As soon as they lay down, Mario pressed his back against Marco’s chest, and the latter willingly hugged him from behind.
“Still scared?” Marco whispered into the dark.
“Yeah,” Mario answered and his voice felt louder than usual in the darkness. “But that’s okay, because I’d be more than happy to die in your arms.” He winked to Marco over his shoulder.
“Do you really think this is the time for cheesy comments like that?” Marco mocked him, but he kissed Mario quick anyway, on his mouth first and then down his neck, before resting his head on the pillow, his lips still touching the beautiful hot skin in the back of Mario’s neck, right under the hairline.
“Yeah, I’m dangerous at night,” Mario mumbled into the blankets, but he was already dozing off.
“Sleep well, my dangerous animal.” He grinned against the crook of Mario’s neck.
“Sleep well, my lion.”
A few minutes later Marco broke the silent sleepiness again by saying: “What kind of dangerous wild animal is afraid of the lightning?” He laughed and Mario felt his laughter vibrate and shivered from the intimacy of that simple gesture. He still wasn’t used to the lingering touches on his entire body, and how lucky he was to be there with Marco, to have Marco.
“Shut up,” Mario shot back, but he was red and feeling warm in embarrassment, but when Marco wrapped his arms tight around him, it changed into a different kind of warmth. It moved from his face to his chest and stomach and he felt like he explode from love any moment and it would look like the firework-lightning outside.
Safe.