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The Elric brothers faced challenges all their life, the last 5 years of their life were fixated on getting their bodies back to normal – alongside taking down a corrupt military and a clone of their father who planned to take the lives of everyone in Amestris. Ever since they left Resembol after Ed got his State Alchemist certification, their lives were constantly, non-stop filled with a lot of pain and anguish along the way. And, now, they were safe at home once again, with their original forms.
Except, Ed didn’t know what to do now.
It was easier for Al. He was recovering, gaining strength back and had plans to travel, learning more about Alkahestry from May when he was well enough to spend a few months in Xing. It was his ultimate goal to help prevent more tragedy and Xing was only the beginning. But first, he had to get used to his new body.
Ed didn’t have any dreams beyond getting his and Al’s body back to normal. He helped Al make a list of foods to try, back when his younger brother was confined to a suit of armour – all for him to look forward to the day he was able to eat once more. Edward didn’t have a list. His brother became an even bigger priority in his life so much so he forgot who he wanted to be – what he wanted to do – when he was restored once more. With the loss of his alchemy, he felt at a loss. A way of life, a teaching, he lived by since the age of 4 that suddenly disappeared. Not that he would ever trade his brother back for alchemy. Not ever. He never regretted his choice, just wished he had some sort of backup plan to do with his time, instead of figuring it out the hard way.
It started with gardening. Winry and Al had begun planting strawberries in the spring – every few days they excitedly checked the progress of the fruit – Al even talking gently to them as he read somewhere it helped with growth. Ed rolled his eyes at his brother, “there is no way that is true.” He’d say and Al threw a gardening book at his head. Then he began reading it. Gardening was just like alchemy, right? It needed the right environment, required more concentration than expected, the smallest change could make it grow completely wrong – it was pure scientific!
So, Ed began joining Winry and Alphonse in the garden, following their lead as they showed him how to plant the seeds the right way, and when to water – Ed went as far as to measure the soil and water which Winry mocked him for, and even Al was confused at his brother’s thought process.
Ed flung his arms in the air, “ugh, this is taking too long!” he complained, on the 4th day of no movement from his own batch of strawberries, watching as Al’s and Winry’s were forming.
Al made his way over, slowly as Ed pouted at his lifeless strawberries. Al’s cane hit the ground with hi step with a gentle thud, “they need more time, brother.” He placed his spare hand on Ed’s shoulder.
“This is pointless!” He exclaimed. Both Winry and Al wanted to laugh. “How is this even a hobby if you need to wait 10,000 years for anything to grow!” Ed blew air on the seeds, expecting… something.
“Hm, maybe you need a hobby that has more of an immediate reward.” Al suggested, thinking. Ed looked between him and Winry, before putting his head in hands,
“That’s a good point, Al,” Winry added, mouth slightly agape, “like painting, you do the work and get the outcome after! No wait time.” Al and Winry kept discussing ideas, but Ed continued to sigh, and groan and stare expectantly at a bag of soil laid beside his planted mess. He read up and down the list of ingredients of the soil. It struck an idea in his head. Alchemy… ingredients… measurements.
“I’m going to try baking!” Ed threw his fists in the air, this time with more passion and excitement. Al and Winry shared a look briefly before Ed ran inside with a newfound perspective.
Al sighed before turning to Ed’s strawberry seeds, “don’t worry, it’s for the best. He’s useless”
“I heard that!”
Baking lasted even shorter than gardening.
He started off simple, baking cookies then muffins, then ventured onto bread very shortly after. That was when his frustration took over. On the outside, the loaf was soft and crispy, yet most of the inside remained liquid. Al couldn’t help but laugh. This brought him onto his second, third and fourth loaf of bread – each time something was wrong with it. The second he forgot to set a timer and didn’t notice the grey cloud of smoke engulfing the house until Winry had began to smell it from her office workstation. Al came home from grocery shopping with Granny to the house, miraculously, still standing. The third attempt Ed (and then Winry) made sure the mechanical egg timer was properly set, and one more timer just in case. This time the bread was so dry even Al couldn’t pretend to enjoy it: “I’m sorry brother. I spent years unable to eat, this is so much worse,” Everyone but Ed found that funny.
“Did you measure everything?” Winry asked, going through each ingredient from the book, trying to spot where he might have gone wrong.
“Yes! Of course.” Ed huffed, his arms crossing. “Winry, I was an alchemist.” Winry rolled her eyes, taking a very small, barely visible bite of the bread that left mostly untouched.
“Ugh,” She shook her head, “It’s so dry. Are you sure you used the right amount of milk.” Ed looked up in surprise.
“That… wasn’t just a suggestion?”
“Edward! No! Did you add any milk?!”
“Well, no. I hate milk.” Ed shrugged, confused.
Attempt four was Ed following Granny’s exact instructions and methods of baking. Instructions was usually something he done well with, when it interested him. But by this point, he was as fed up with seeing the same ingredients over and over, and simultaneously determined to nail the recipe. Granny scolded him a few times for not paying attention, nothing malicious, just reminding him that he was the one who asked for her assistance. Afterall, she practically raised him alongside Al and Winry, she knew exactly how to handle each of them in their very different temperaments. Ed wiped his head back to watch eagerly, complaining dramatically as Pinako added the milk.
And, of course, Granny’s batch turned out perfectly, which made Ed all the more frustrated and resolute. With a newfound purpose, Ed started his fourth attempt. It was by far the most edible of them all. “Brother this is incredible! It’s almost as good as Granny’s.” Al complimented; and Granny patted him on the back (from where she stood on a chair), Winry called it “decent” which meant it was pretty good, but her morals didn’t let her compliment Ed out of fear his head would get too big.
Al went to cut himself another slice, “what do you plan to bake next?” he asked, but Ed just shrugged nonchalantly,
“I think I’m done with baking,” he hummed, finishing off his own slice of bread.
“What?!” Al was tempted to throw his cane at Ed’s head. “After all that inedible bread?” Al went pale, his stomach practically shutting down from the reminder; he made nauseous face.
“Yeah, well, I’ve mastered it now, so…” Ed shrugged again.
Al placed his head in his hands before replying, “yeah, you have so-called “mastered” baking one loaf of bread” he used air quotes, dramatically. “What about all the other things you wanted to make? Cakes, pies?”
“I’m just bored of it I think.”
Al left the room before he really did throw his cane.
The following days Ed started to go jogging. It started off as a joke from Winry telling him to go outside and run off his pent up energy from being bored, and it began to become a daily routine. Whenever he was frustrated, bored, needed a release, or just wanted to, he would go jogging. Ed even went as far as to call Major Armstrong for fitness advice – which he quickly hung up the phone to when one of his first few tips was to drink milk.
He didn’t get bored of running, but he did get bored of it being all he did. Winry and Alphonse tried suggesting other activities, ranging from reading, taking a class, painting, even learning about automail from Granny and Winry, but the amount of input became overwhelming. Eventually Ed’s frustrations boiled over, after Winry’s after her next idea of knitting,
“Ugh, life is so hard without alchemy!” He exclaimed to her, kicking one of Den’s tennis balls he quickly ran after. Winry quietly sat on the steps leading to their home, crossing her legs,
“It’s not been that long since you lost it, give it more time, Ed, you’ll find more things you like to do. Besides, you weren’t an alchemy genius when you first started out, it took you weeks before you were even able to make the smallest thing.” Ed rolled his eyes,
“but if I have to be bored for one more day I’ll die.” Now Winry rolled her eyes,
“You brothers will be the death of me one day.”
“Oh yeah must be so hard for you to watch us compl- wait, both of us?” Ed questioned, now making his way to the step Winry sat on, he had a slight worry to his expression, “did Al say something? Is he okay?” Winry bit her lip,
“I think he feels a little bad you are struggling so much without alchemy.” She admitted, “I think he really wants you to find something you’re passionate about, we all do.”
Ed sank in thought, “It’s been fun trying new things, I just get bored of them,” he sighed, leaning back, “it’s like everything I do can’t compare to alchemy. And I want to be immediately good at it.” Winry placed a hand on his shoulder, a small blush on both their faces.
“It sounds like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, Ed.” The latter thought about how much she sounded like Granny, but reframed from commenting about it.
Gardening was too boring; baking he only really pursued as it felt most like alchemy – and even that was a challenge; running/ jogging was something he couldn’t do all day. None of these made up the perfect hobby he so desperately wanted.
“Maybe you don’t need one big, perfect all-you-could-ever-want hobby, Ed.” Winry commented softly, as though she could read his mind. Afterall, her and the brothers were everything to one another – family, friends, the whole package. She understood them better than either of the brothers realised.
Ed took up reading after assisting Al to the local library – his knees had been more painful recently so Ed offered to drive him there (something he took lessons of, and then bought himself a car for whenever Al couldn’t walk far). His younger brother was having a particularly hard week with various appointments that sucked his usual energy out, but even so, he wanted to go out and learn more about alkahestry (even with what little information the Resembool library had, Alphonse was desperate to be outside in a place that wasn’t surrounded by doctors and nurses). The younger had suggested Ed goes back home instead of waiting for him, but Ed refused, saying he wasn’t going to leave his little brother when he’s already struggling to walk. Al had frowned, small guilt appearing, but it wasn’t long before Ed started wandering the aisles of books investigating the shelves. Geography, mathematics, history and a whole other range of school subjects that the thought of made Ed yawn. He made his way to non-fiction, looking at the various covers with swords and dragons. One in particular caught his eye; it had an alchemist with a sword, some potions and transmutation circles surrounding the person, and a few monsters in the background. Ed’s eyes light up in anticipation, grabbing it off the shelf and setting himself down at the end of the aisle, hunched up like a child in time out, except he was far happier.
Al carried 4 books back to the alchemy section, he checked around himself for his brother, but to no avail. Really, it should’ve been obvious Ed wasn’t in sight, if he had been Al would be getting an earful about carrying heavy books and without his cane. Thankfully Al made the journey to and from without any injuries or accidents – not that he’d inform Ed of his success, his brother would still rant about Al’a carelessness. But it became worrying when he realised he hadn’t seen the slightly taller man in possibly over an hour. Al started making his way through the library, this time with his cane. It wasn’t nearly a large library, and Ed wasn’t exactly known for being quiet, so the longer Al went, the more worry grew.
Ed’s head was practically inside the book, his eyes darting quickly, his face trying to copy the expressions described, with pure invested interest. He became so engrossed in the words he could practically hear their voices in front of them. One person, who had been brutally stabbed by an enemy was shouting: “Ed!”
Ed blinked. That can’t be right…
“Ed!” Al’s voice was now right in front of him, small sweat drops coming from his forehead. He slowly crouched down, looking at Ed carefully, “are you okay? I got worried!” Ed looked around, the windows to the library were now grey, not the blue skies it was just a few minutes ago. The page number to his book read 306.
“Oh.” He decided on saying, “Are you done studying?” He added, possibly trying to recover. Al tilted his head, trying to read the title of the book in Ed’s hands. Al’s face turned into a frown
“I haven’t seen you read something other than alchemy in years…” his voice was soft, quiet. Ed shrugged.
“It’s about this alchemist knight, basically a biography about me.” He said, smirking proudly. The older stood up, dusting his trousers and grabbing the book, alongside the next two in the series before going to check out, telling Al all about it on the journey. His excitement echoing the library walls. Al listened closely, asking questions. Whenever Ed mentioned alchemy – a key part of the story, Al’s face returned to a small frown.
Alphonse sighed, knocking on their shared bedroom door, something he never did normally as, well, they shared a room. Ed, slightly confused shouted back “yes?” Al hobbled in slowly, his cane in his hand as normal. Ed was sitting on their desk chair, legs up on the table, the second book in the series in his hands, from the thickness of the pages in his right hand, Al guessed he only recently started it. Ed didn’t look up at first, skimming the lines quickly – he always was a fast reader when it was something that interested him. Getting him to read textbooks to study school subjects, or assigned novels by teachers was a completely different story. Ed straight up refused which left Granny trying many different tactics to convince him otherwise – from bribing him with candy, making it into a competition of who could read faster, to even saying she could read it to him. One of the few things that worked was if he read whilst using their outdoor swing, or reading at the same time as Winry – who was in his same class. Ed closed his book, shifting a bookmark between the pages. “Everything okay, Al?” Ed pulled a nearby chair closer to his brother. Both now sitting.
Al bit his lip, “You seem… bored.” Al said, and Ed’s expression went from worry to confusion, “without…” Al hesitated, like he was about to curse, “without alchemy.” Ed blinked. His brother’s words had such heavy meaning behind them, like a weight that had been holding him down for several months. “I know you have been trying to find an alternative to… alchemy.” The weighted seemed to have doubled. Al’s eyes began to get glossy with tears, and Ed’s heart panged with sadness and hurt seeing his brother’s upset. A lightbulb gleamed in Ed’s head.
“Is this about me trying different things?” Ed concluded
Al sank in within himself, “no, it…” His voice wavered, “I’m wondering if you regret…” Al sounded out of breath, “if you regret giving up your alchemy.” Ed’s heart shattered. There was an unspoken end to that sentence
‘…for me.’
Al, his sweet, caring, amazing, smart, loving little brother was wondering if Ed, who swore to protect him at all costs, who vowed to get his body back no matter the cost, now wondered if his older brother regretted all that because he was trying to find a way to fill his time. “You fucking idiot.” Ed’s hands went to his face, wiping his own tears. He shook his head sadly, before staring at Al’s hunched body that evaded eye contact. Ed hit the top of Al’s head gently. The younger still made a dramatic “ow!”
“You fucking idiot, Al.” He repeated, but there was laughter to his voice now. Al’s eyes were foggy, but soon he felt his brother’s arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly, securely. “I never once regretted it. Not then, not now. I would have given you my heart if it brought you back. No hesitation.” Al’s body crumbled in Ed’s hold, his sobs loudly melting into Ed’s shoulder. His older brother shushed him gently, small reassurances, rubbing his back. Reminding him softly that his brother was his world. That Al meant so much more to him than anyone else.
“Thank you brother!” Al managed, before continuing his sobs.
They held one another for near 40 minutes. Al felt a relief overcome him, the guilt and fear leaving his body alongside his heavy tears. Ed got them both glasses of water, flicking Al when he offered to get them. It took a while for them both to recover from such high emotions. “Ed, I wanted to ask you something.” Al sounded more confident, secure than he had less than an hour ago “I wanted to ask if you’d come to Xing with me.” Al smiled.
“Really?!” Ed blinked, Al nodded.
“There is so much I want to learn, so much help we can do to… to people like Nina.” They both shared a knowing look. “It’s something I want to do alongside you. If you don’t want to I understand but I-”
“I want to.” Ed determined. His eyes were filled with the passion he got from reading his new book series, the way they got when he won a chess match against Mustang. He was certain. “But don’t rush your recovery!” Ed pointed to his brother, raising his eyebrows.
“I won’t, I promise. We’ll go when we’re both ready.”
“Together.”
“Together.”