Chapter Text
"When the time comes, I am prepared to let go of my padawan."
It all seemed so peaceful before the outbreak of the Clone Wars. A time when the Jedi were not military leaders, but peacekeepers. Protecting a democratic republic through diplomacy and the occasional use of well-gripped actions. This is what the Jedi had used to maintain peace for over a thousand generations. It's what many within the Republic preferred, including the Jedi themselves.
Yes, many desired changes to the current political system. But those changes required time to process and the patience to make them a reality. From a certain Jedi Master's perspective, had the Separatists understood this, then perhaps they would've not been so easily tempted by the manipulative promises of Count Dooku to disavow the Republic and split the galaxy in two. It's certainly what Luminara Unduli believed. It was something that she'd thought she'd passed down to her former apprentice, Barriss Offee.
Yet that clearly wasn't the case, seeing as how Barriss had turned to the dark side, disavowed the Republic, and thus betrayed everything that the Jedi Order, including Luminara, stood for. It's what led to her being sentenced to life in prison following her bombing of the Jedi Temple hangar.
Remembering the carnage that Barriss had inflicted, injuring and killing many innocent lives, among them their fellow Jedi, and wreaking havoc within the Jedi Master's heart. Despite her attempts to reconcile with the failure of her former apprentice, Luminara failed to understand how someone full of light like Barriss, so innocent and devoted to healing others, could condone such chaos, all to make a statement to the galaxy.
While Barriss wasn't the first Jedi to fall to the dark side, she had been closer to Luminara than anyone else within the Order. The Jedi Master knew such feelings were signs of attachments, something forbidden for Jedi to have. Yet to her shame, she refused to let go of Barriss in her heart. And to add further salt to the wound, she'd kept the lightsaber of her fallen apprentice with her, after the weapon had been confiscated by Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker and later handed over to Luminara. She knew she should've given up the weapon, but a burning ache in her heart begged her not to do so. To her further shame, despite all her Jedi teachings saying otherwise, Luminara listened to the dark feelings within herself. She'd even begun practicing with her former apprentice's weapon and had started using it in battle during the war.
Luminara told herself that she was only doing so to honour what her apprentice had been before she fell to the dark side. But the truth was that the Jedi Master was having difficulty letting go of her beloved student. She never understood why or how Barriss could have been able to manipulate the temple employee's wife into bombing the hangar, then framed her dear friend Ahsoka Tano for the crimes and even the slaughter of additional clones to cover up her tracks.
Luminara needed answers as to why her apprentice had done all these things. She needed clarity. But most of all, she needed a level of understanding that would bring the Jedi Master peace before she could give up her former apprentice's lightsaber. Yet the pain she felt in her heart burned whenever she went near the prison cells where Barriss was kept. Visions of the past, when Barriss was but an innocent child and a young learner, somehow kept her from confronting her former student and seeking out the closure she desired.
Fortunately, her duties as a Jedi and general within the Grand Army of the Republic allowed for her opportunities to distance herself from her more personal thoughts and feelings. After three and a half years of fighting, the Clone War was finally reaching its conclusion, with most of the Separatist military leaders, who weren't droids, having been either rounded up or killed, while the remainder were on the verge of defeat as well. Soon, peace would be restored to the Republic, and the Jedi could resume their duties as keepers of peace.
But until the remaining Separatist leaders surrendered, the Jedi would continue to lead the Clones in defence of the worlds of the Republic. As was what Luminara was doing on Kashyyyk, homeworld of the Republic's long-standing friends, the Wookiees.
The Separatists had been pushing towards the forest world because of its connection to multiple hyperspace routes and its rich resources. After the Wookiees' repeated refusals to join them, General Grievous sent a full-scale invasion of battle droids to take over the planet. The Jedi had met this by sending their own forces to assist their allies in keeping their home free.
Luminara had been stationed on Kashyyyk for weeks now, holding off the invading droids alongside the 41st elite clone corps. Succeeding in keeping the Separatists from taking major portions of the planet, yet failing to remove the droid presence altogether.
After the Separatists' failed attack on the Republic capital, a massive portion of the capital's invaders had been redirected to Kashyyyk, pushing Luminara and the 41st to their limits. Though thankfully, Master Quinlan Vos and Grand Master Yoda himself had arrived shortly after with their own troops to aid in the fight.
At the moment, Luminara was sitting cross-legged inside her tent as she meditated, gathering her strength, both physically and mentally, in preparation for what many believed would be the final battle that would determine the fate of Kashyyyk.
Yet, despite her best efforts, images of her former Padawan continued to creep into her mind, seeking to dominate all other thoughts. The Jedi Master remembered the early days of their time as master and apprentice, long before the Clone Wars broke out. In those times, Barriss had demonstrated a natural ability for healing, yet stumbled with her lightsaber.
Luminara recalled watching as her previous student, Tutso Mara, who'd been knighted several months prior, assisted his former master in showing Barriss how to hold her lightsaber properly. Memories of the younger Jedi's excited expression as she slowly began to understand the inner workings of the Jedi's sacred weapon brought a warm feeling to the older Jedi's heart. Only to be yanked away by a sharp, cold, invisible hand that left images of an older Barriss, her face filled with anger, her wrists bound by binder cuffs, surrounded by shock troopers as they escorted her out of the Republic tribunal to spend the rest of her life inside a cell, without any hope of freedom except when she joined the Force.
Luminara had been present during Barriss' trials, both in the Jedi Temple, where she was officially banished from the Order, and afterwards, when she faced the full wrath of the Republic's military courts. Both times, Luminara stood in the shadows, watching in silence as her prized pupil was declared a traitor, while Barriss, herself, rebuffed with her own accusations that the Jedi Order and the Republic were guilty of treason; that they were the ones who'd betrayed the galaxy, and that the war was their fault.
Hearing her former student say such horrible things, and more, made the Jedi Master's heart feel as if it were being ripped apart. But the worst feeling she felt was after Barriss's final sentence had been declared, when she'd looked over to see her former apprentice staring at her with poison daggers that were supposed to be her eyes.
Luminara didn't have the strength to say anything, and Barriss didn't appear to want to say anything either. All Luminara could do was hold herself together and portray herself as an unbroken symbol of justice. Yet this only infuriated her former student even more as she turned her head away, a silent refusal to look at her former master anymore.
It hurt Luminara more than any wound she'd received throughout her long years of service to the Republic.
"Master Unduli," Vos called to her from the entrance to her tent. Upon hearing him, Luminara stood up, carefully straightening her dark-brown robes before turning around to face her fellow Jedi Master.
"Apologies for the intrusion," Vos said while simultaneously bowing his head in greeting.
"No apologies needed, Master Vos," Luminara replied with her own bow towards him. "I assume you have news regarding the coming battle."
"Yes," Vos confirmed. "The Wookiees report that the droids are gearing up for an assault on the Kachirho's eastern shore. Master Yoda has already begun preparing our troops in that area and nearby areas for a counter-offensive. He requires our assistance for these preparations."
While the idea of conflict shouldn't have eased a sane Jedi Master's mind, Luminara more than welcomed the distraction. "Very well," she replied, and the two masters left the Mirialan's tent.
They walked in silence, passing clones and Wookiee warriors who were getting ready for the coming battle and nodding their heads at them as they passed. But despite the controlled, neutral expression on her face, Luminara was anything but at peace. Thoughts of Barriss and her fall continued to plague her. Questions about how she fell and guilt over her failure to prevent it swirled around in her mind.
Worse, despite her attempts to conceal within herself, Master Vos managed to sense his fellow master's inner conflict.
"What troubles you, Master Unduli?" he asked in a calm, warm voice that belonged not to a military officer but a brother Jedi and friend. Something Luminara hadn't realized she desperately needed. And as it happened, Master Vos had insight into the dark side that could perhaps bring clarity to her heart.
"Master Vos, if you would not mind, I would like to ask you something… personal."
The Kiffar Jedi nodded his head. Guiding Luminara towards a secluded area of the forest where neither Wookiees nor Republic military personnel could be found, he encouraged her to speak her mind freely. "Whatever you wish to know, I will do my best to answer," he said.
Surprisingly, it took Luminara a moment before she was able to gather enough courage to ask her question. "What drove you towards the dark side during your mission behind enemy lines?"
Vos lifted an eye, but other than that did not appear troubled, nor offended by such a question. It was common knowledge at this point that Vos had infiltrated the Separatists, getting close to Count Dooku himself. In the process, he'd truly fallen to the dark side as a double agent. His actions had caused problems for the Republic and nearly gotten him a fate similar to Barriss'. Yet he managed to return to the light and now served on the front lines of the war on the Republic's side. Though only the Jedi Council, as well as Anakin Skywalker and maybe even the Supreme Chancellor, knew the deeper details behind Vos's mission and return to the light.
It was not something Vos had yet managed to explain to others. Though he knew it was only inevitable if he was to regain the full trust of the Republic and his Jedi brethren. He also suspected the reason behind Luminara's interest in his fall to the dark side. And as someone who'd taken deep emotional losses to the dark side, he knew the importance of needing emotional support to heal such painful wounds.
"The war had been dragging on for too long. Countless lives had been lost, and many more were continuing to suffer. I thought I saw an opportunity to strike a blow to the enemy that would allow the Jedi to end the war, so I took it. But the mission proved far more difficult than I was prepared for. I became so desperate that I was willing to use whatever tool I could find to keep going, even the dark side. Dooku took advantage of my desperation and manipulated me into becoming his tool. Because of my own desire to end the war and my willingness to use any means of achieving this, I was almost consumed by the dark side just as so many others had before me."
"Yet you managed to triumph over the dark side," Luminara pointed out. "You survived and returned to the light."
Vos looked away for a moment, trying to hide his guilt. "I only returned because I had help from fellow Jedi, along with… someone close… to me. They reminded me of who I was and made me see the error of my ways. Though even after all I went through, I can't say I've triumphed over the darkness within me. To this day, I'm still struggling to keep the darkness at bay, to find my inner balance, and to make peace with my actions. It's not easy, nor will I expect it to become so. But as Master Yoda has said repeatedly, only the dark side provides the easy paths to success."
"He does carry wisdom that far exceeds almost every other Jedi in the Order," Luminara agreed. Though she couldn't help but frown with sorrow. While Master Vos's explanation had been insightful, it wasn't enough to settle the unease in her heart. Vos saw this and attempted to reach out to his fellow master.
"You're still thinking about Barriss, aren't you?" he said. When Luminara didn't respond, Vos placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Masters can't protect their students from everything. I learned that long ago during my time training my own Padawan."
"Yet I should've seen the signs beforehand," Luminara argued. "I should've been able to prepare Barriss before she was tempted enough by the dark side to commit such heinous actions."
"I met Barriss several times before her fall. And I can proudly say that you'd more than properly prepared her for what she faced. But preparation isn't always a guaranteed shield from the dark side. Both Dooku and Pong Krell were seasoned masters who'd proven themselves many times beforehand. Yet they fell just like Barriss did. You couldn't see it the same way Master Yoda couldn't foresee Dooku's fall, nor the rise of the Separatists. But you can't blame yourself for what she's become."
"Listen to Master Vos, you must, Luminara," chimed in the elder voice of the Jedi Order's Grand Master.
Both Voss and Luminara turned to see a small, wrinkled green creature with pointed ears walking towards them, accompanied by four others: Clone Commander Gree and Captain Notch, along with two Wookiees: Chieftain Tarfful and his young nephew, Dogan. "If you obsess over the past, risk falling down a similar path as your former Padawan, you do. Learn from your mistakes as her teacher, you must, yes. But to continue grieving over the past will only lead you towards the dark side."
"For what it's worth, General, I've served alongside you throughout this entire war," Captain Notch spoke up just as he was removing his helmet, revealing a proud smile on his battle-worn face. "You've been a mentor to my brothers and me just as much as you were to former Commander Offee. Like us, you taught her to make her own choices, but you also warned us about the consequences our actions would have on others, regardless of our reasons. Barriss made her choices, and now she must live with them. But that doesn't mean you have to carry the guilt over her actions."
Vos's comfort, combined with Notch and Master Yoda's wise words, as well as the warm feelings she felt radiating from her comrades, helped to relieve some of the burdening guilt Luminara had been feeling for so long. And when she looked around, she saw reassuring smiles on everyone's faces, including Commander Gree, who'd also removed his helmet by then, which she returned with her own smile.
"I think I'm beginning to understand how you managed to find light after such a dark journey, Quinlan," she said when she turned to face the Kiffar Jedi again, who then smirked at her.
"As long as the Jedi remain united, no darkness can extinguish our light," he replied.