Work Text:
A ReGect Burgerisode!
Ze pulled in his car in a free parking spot and took out the keys with a quick move. He closed the door behind him and made sure the car was locked after the little click sound. Right next to him were Regect and Moe trying to get those little coin-operated rocket ships to work.
“You guys know that you need a coin to get these to work, right?”
Regect huffed like the little bitch he was, “Of course, you think I’m an idiot? Gosh, shut your all-knowing mouth sometimes.”
Ze felt his veins on his forehead pop.
Regect patted himself down to search his imaginary pockets, before coming to a realization.
“Uh. Ze. Ze, I’m kinda short on money. Can I-“
“No.” Ze cut him off.
“Huh?! But why?!” Regect swung his arms around in exaggeration.
“One, your fat ass won’t fit in there. Two, I only have cash. Now let’s go, I bet Moe’s hungry she could eat a horse.” He glanced at Moe. She honked in agreement, jumping around in joy, doing…cartwheels?
“Whatever, bitch.” Regect crossed his arms and side-eyed Ze. He heard his laugh after seeing Moe’s cartwheels.
He fucking hates Ze, and his fucking annoying ass, and his fucking eyes, and his fucking laugh-
Oh, check out this interesting billboard.
Wakky-Burgers.
What kind of a dumb preschooler named this brand? Whatever. No wonder Ze took them to this place. Bitch.
Regect caught up to them and asked, “Where did you find this place anywhere? Looks like shit.” He gestured toward the colorful building.
Ze stopped with the laughs, and glared at him. “Oh, lord forbid I want to treat my friends- Sorry my FRIEND”, he pointed at Moe, and then to Regect, “and a BITCH, a good meal! It had good reviews okay? It only has two reviews complaining about rats!”
“How many reviews were there in total.”
“Three.”
“Of course.” Regect sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. At least tried to. He fucking HATES HI-
“Let’s go.”
He squinted after being cut off in his thoughts, but didn’t say any words. Choosing to stay silent would be more convenient. He stopped ranting in his own head and followed behind them.
As they passed through the automatic sliding door, they witnessed a colorful view. Couches with soft cushions, round tables, leftover toys that someone probably didn’t like and threw it on the ground, posters with cartoony burgers and fries on it, more tables. Everything was drowning in red, yellow and blue so bad that Ze and Regect seemed so out of place unlike Moe, who actually blended in just right. Usually the opposite happened.
While they kept walking, the smell of french fries frying in oil and milkshakes hit them. The sudden thought of food made their stomachs growl, even for Regect. Ze wondered if Regect could even eat, he didn’t want to pay for a meal that would slide through his transparent limbs and slap the floor.
Ze spotted one of those IKEA workers he once got chased by. But they were instead in a bright blue, almost purple Wakky Burgers uniform. He became weirded out seeing them again but realized that it probably would be fine if the lights didn’t go off or something.
“Alright, have you guys decided on what you want?” Ze turned around to both of them, rummaging through his empty wallet besides a few dollars that were enough for a small meal for three.
“Honk honk!” Moe pointed at the menu on her tippy toes.
“A kids meal? Sure, what aboutchu Regect?”
Regect was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even think about what he wanted. He looked up on the menu with quick gazes and still couldn’t decide.
“Uhhhhhhhhhh-“
“C’mon dude, the line’s growing bigger.”
Regect got annoyed and sighed, “Ugh- You know what, I don’t care! Get me whatever, I’m gonna go find a spot to sit.” He disappeared behind the wall that led to the dining area.
Ze and Moe stared at eachother with questioning eyes.
“What the hell is going on with him?”
“Honk.”
“Yeah…Usual Regect I guess…” He stared at the paintings of tomatoes and potatoes dancing around on the wall Regect had just left behind it, and turned back to Moe.
“You know what? Go sit with him, I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
“Honk honk?”
Ze rolled his eyes playfully, “Yes Moe, don’t worry I’m fine. Seriously, go.”
After seeing Ze’s smile of approval, she honked once again and trailed behind Regect, waving to Ze while leaving.
He huffed under his breath and entered the line. Just as his legs were starting to feel numb he noticed the little toys section under the counter. My Small Horse…Adult Mutant Samurai Frogs…Journey Hour…Gosh, is it just him or these brands feel like cheap knock-offs? Whatever. He’ll just get her the most colorful horse.
“Greetings, may I take your order?”
“Uhh, yes can I get a- WAKAFANTE?! WHAT’RE YOU DOING HERE?!” Ze jumped in his place, flabbergasted.
“Whaddya think that I’m doing? Working, duh.” Wakafante ran his wrinkly hands over his beard. Acting wise and all.
“But- Uhh…!” Ze thought about all the words he wanted to say at once, but obviously he couldn’t, so he just thought about them instead.
“Are you gonna order…”
“…You’re working at a burger place?” He questioned.
“How didja think I paid for the marriage? Selling burgers clearly wasn’t good money, so I had to sell this place.”
“What do you mean sell?! You owned this place?” Ze slammed his hands onto the counter.
“Yuh, I won this place in a lottery. It was actually an IKEA but IKEA doesn’t make burgers so I made the burgers. My Captain came here often before I sold it for our marriage.” Wakafante actually said something emotional for once. If he didn’t talk like he was choking on three grapes, it would’ve had a better effect.
Wait…IKEA? That explains it.
“That’s…actually kinda sweet of you man.” A little smile appeared on Ze’s face.
“Huh, oh, yuh. Now order before the customers get impatient.”
Ze looked around. “There are no customer-“
“Okayuh…one kids meal…one Fantestic Triple Smash Burger…and one single cheese slice.”
“I…Uhm…Yes? That was actually what I was going to order but-“
“Okayuh byeh.”
“…”
How the fuck?
You know what…Let’s forget this shi-
“Ze? Sup man!”
Ze turned around, barely grasping what had just happened before. Right before him there were Msak and Ptolemy waving at him.
“Oh…hah. Sup guys! What’re you doing here?”
“Well, Ptolemy saw some reviews about this place. Something about…rats. So we decided to try it out, I don’t believe that there really is a giant rat as the cook, but we’ll see I guess.”
“…Ratatouille?”
“Uhh, no. They didn’t mention the rat being French. Dude, do you think we have the money for luxury French restaurants?”
“Okay, fine! Sorry man.” Ze scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Pretending to wait for his order wouldn’t do since he forgot to take his meal ticket. Now he had to observe all of the trays and search for a single slice of cheese on one of them.
“Uhhh order for uhhh Ze. Come pick up your order Ze. Ze pick up your order. Ze.”
Ze rolled his eyes and went to pick up the tray, it was a completely normal one. Except for the fact that everything was warm like they were left in the sunlight for five hours straight. It was actually fine since he would prefer a warm burger rather than a cold one but the soda? Why was it even warm in the first place? He had just placed his order, it wasn’t even possible for it to go bad in just two minutes?
“Hey…Dude, uh. Fante, why’s everything so warm?” The soda drops on the tray made his hands sticky and grossed him out.
“Fridge’s been broken.”
“Of course it is.”
Ze sighed in disbelief and walked toward the duo, at least some people in the building had some sense. Or kinda.
“So do not get any cold drinks. Or any ice cream. Or any milkshakes. You know what? Just don’t get any cold stuff, it’s NOT worth it.” He looked like Wakafante trying to warn them about doomsday, or just about a regular tuesday.
“Okay man? We won’t, gosh.”
“I wanted a sundae.”
“I know Ptolemy.”
Well, it was still possible for Ptolemy to get one. If he was willing to slurp down melted ice cream in a cup, which he probably wouldn’t do.
Ze totally forgot about Regect and Moe at this point, he could already hear Regect’s bitch ass whining about how he was starving. Moe was probably at the kid’s playground, he didn’t know what to think about a clown resembling girl walking around in the playground, doing party tricks. Would they get arrested for this? Prolly not.
“Oh, Regect and Moe’s here by the way. I’m gonna go sit with ‘em, you guys can come too.”
“Fuuck, Regect’s here?” Ptolemy complained about his favorite cousin.
“Yes dude, of course he is. Now let’s go, I wanna see if the food is bad as they talked about.” Msak dragged Ptolemy by his hand to the counter while he’s still ranting about Regect.
“Can’t stand his fucking ass.”
“I know Ptolemy.”
Ze smirked in amusement, “Aight guys, I’m heading off now.”
Msak pointed at the menu, nudging Ptolemy. “Oh, oh! Lemy look! There’s a couples discount!” They did not hear Ze at all.
Ze watched them take their order as he walked. He wondered if he could’ve do a couples discount thing with with Regect? The entity would probably throw a fit without even considering the idea, but it was worth a shot. He desperately needed that discount. Moe could’ve been up to it but the thought of it seemed weird without any explaination. Ze stared at the couple for a few seconds and felt a little jealousy inside.
The way they didn’t have to pull out guns or choke each other while talking made him feel weird. Were Regect and him the weird ones, or Msak and Ptolemy? He wondered quietly as he disappeared into the dining hall.
The back of the building was way weirder than he expected. The tables were filled with leftover trash and cans of soda because obviously the staff didn’t do anything other than walking around. He saw those carboard crowns stacked on top of a shelf. He didn’t fight the urge to grab one, Regect could make fun of him as much as he’d like. Maybe he could try to shut him up by throwing the slice of cheese to his face like those babies suddenly stopping crying on those videos? That’s actually not a bad idea.
“Honk honk!”
Ze heard Moe right beside him, he must’ve been so lost in thought that he didn’t even realize he walked in front of them.
“Oh, hi Moe! I got your kids meal and uhh…” Ze observed the toy he had just gotten from Fante, “…and a pink horse? I hope you like it, we can switch if you want.” Moe honked in approval instead, and did a thumbs up implying she liked it.
“What did you get for me.”
“Hi to you too Regect.”
“Dude I’m serious c’mon.”
“Ugh, fine!” Ze rolled his eyes and seated himself in front of Moe and Regect, and threw the cheese slice at Regect.
“Here you go.”
“DUDE. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?”
“Yeah.”
Regect pulled the cheese slice off in disgust and threw it right back at the tray. He felt his eye twitch. “Ooh, you think you’re soo funny, right? No, no. I asked you for ONE fucking thing! But you had to be a bitch again! Fucking bitch.” Regect kept talking to himself in a furious way, if Ze didn’t know him well enough he’d actually think that he was really mad. To him, this was usual Regect getting enraged at every single shit possible.
“Oh look at your big fat ass getting a burger BIGGER THAN MY FUCKING HEAD!” He pointed at Ze’s burger with exaggeration.
“DUDE WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! I swear I don’t understand why you’re being a bitch today- And how the f- How the fuck would you chew anyway?! You don’t have a fucking head!”
“Honk.”
“Oh shit, really? I didn’t know that.”
“Honk honk.”
“Thanks for the clarification Moe.”
“Honk!” Moe picked the pickles from the burger, and started eating.
Ze felt Regect’s non existent glare at him.
“Eat your cheese.”
“I ain’t eating that fucking cheese! You eat it!”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yuh huh.”
“Nuh uh!”
“Yuh huh!”
“Nuh uh!!”
“Yuh huh!!”
“FUCKING GIVE ME THAT-“ Regect grabbed Ze’s burger and tried to chomp right into it.
“WHAT THE HELL?! STOP THAT! THAT’SMINEYOUFUCKINGPIECEOF-“
“NUHUH!!” Regect kept trying bite into that burger, and Ze kept pulling it away. His elbow struck Regect right in front of his…face…? Somewhere…? He didn’t really know. All he knew that he must save his god damn burger, but the way Regect gripped his arm and kept shoving into his side wasn’t helping at all. He glanced at Moe for help but she was already in her world of burgers and cheap knock off toys. Fuck, what did he do to deserve this bullshit?
“Yo! Ze!”
Ze turned around and saw his guardian angel. Was he blessed by heaven or what? He felt his blood cooling down, and finally stopped trying to strangle Regect.
“Hey guys! Come sit with us! I can pull an extra seat for Ptolemy, hold on a sec.”
He grabbed the cleanest chair he found and shook it a little in case of crumbs he didn’t see. Behind the scenes there were Regect and Ptolemy glaring at each other lovingly like the best cousins they are.
When he went straight back to his table, Msak already seated himself and Ptolemy was standing there waiting for him.
“Here you go, sorry if it’s sticky.”
“I didn’t actually agree on sitting with him.” Ptolemy said, pointing at Regect. Regect replied with flipping him off.
“Just sit dude, he even brought you a chair.” Msak interrupted, trying to avoid every bit of a fight scenario that could happen.
“Sigh…Fine. Thank you Ze.”
“No proble- REGECT DID YOU EAT MY FUCKING BURGER?!”
“Nghogh.” As he stared at him with a Ze’s burger shaped throat.
“WHATDOYOUMEANNOYOURMOUTHISFUCKINGFULL!! AT LEAST I THINK IT’S FULL?? WHERE’S YOUR FUCKING MOUTH??” Ze tried to choke Regect once again, he didn’t forget about the pillow incident but it was worth a shot.
“WELL THAT’S TOO DAMN BAD FOR YOU!! OH, WHY DON’T YOU EAT THE SINGLE SLICE OF THAT DELICOUS WARM CHEESE??”
“FUCK YOU!!”
“FUCK YOU TOO!!”
Ze sat right next to Msak, fuming with anger. He’d definetly eat all of Regect’s carrots later, yeah. That’s what he’ll do! That fuck ass bitch will pay for this, not literally. His broke ass can’t even afford to buy a single piece of gum.
Moe noticed Ze’s anger, and stared at her half eaten burger, and stared at Ze, then once again at her burger. The logical thing to do in this scenario would be to offer a bite of her burger, which when it comes to Moe, she isn’t really the logical thinker. More of an emotional one. Which isn’t really that bad, but doing everything that the little French mouse in your head tells you to do might be inconvenient in type of scenarios like this.
Instead, Moe decided to slap that burger onto Regect’s face.
Regect whined in disgust, “Moe! Dude, what the hell?!” He kept on trying to clean himself but the sticky warm ketchup didn’t make it any easier.
“Honk.”
“Yeah but did you have to shove it onto my face?! Not cool man.”
“Honk, honk honk.”
“Whatever, he’s a bitch.”
“Wannasaythatagain YOU PIECE OF SHI-“
Ze pulled out his gun and started to reload.
“WOAH woah woah woah- How about we all calm down and eat our food? Right guys? Guys?” Msak kept encouraging- No. Forcing them to shut up and act normal. All Ptolemy did was staring awkwardly and chewing on his plain bun. His eyes sometimes met with Msak’s and it was clear that he was in obvious distress too.
“Guys? Guuys?” Msak sighed, “Ze. Forgive him already, it’s not worth it.”
Ze huffed, “FINE! I’ll maybe forgive only in ONE condition.”
“What do you want.”
“YOU will do a couples discount with me. It’s only fair since your fat ass stole my meal!”
Regect immediantly flipped with frustration. Everyone flinched as he slammed the table, without even a single worry of what sticky substance touched his hand.
“FUCK NO!!”
“FUCK YEAH!! I’M HUNGRY!!”
“WHAT THE HELL?? I’M NOT DOING THAT GO BE GAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!”
“YOU ATE MY BURGER YOU’LL BE GAY!!”
Ze’s eye twitched, and so did Regect’s. Wherever it was now.
“I HATE YOU. SO MUCH.”
“OH YEAH THE FEELING’S MUTUAL!!”
Regect sat down and kept fidgeting with his sticky fingers. It felt disgusting, but not as much as what had happened just now. He could feel that every eye on the table kept glancing under their eyes, everything made him feel uneasy. Especially Ze, oh, that fucking Ze. He kept fidgeting with his fingers even harder.
Regect realized that the ketchup was NOT coming off, so he was forced to wash himself in the restroom. Gee. Thanks Moe.
“I’m going to the restroom.” He stood up and dusted up the remaining crumbs off of him.
“Yeah you don’t need to announce that.” Ze really needed to stop with these ragebaits.
“LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR EVIL BITCHES THAT ANNOY MY ASS LALALALALA OH TOO BAD FOR YOU ZE!!”
“I swear- I’LL GET YOUR FUCKING ASS CRYING ONCE WE GET HOME!!”
“LALALALALAA!! CAAN’T HEEAAR YOOUU!!”
“FUCK YOU!!”
Regect probably didn’t hear the last part since he had already disappeared. HE FUCKING HATED HIM SO MUCH. WHY WAS HE EVEN TAKING HIM OUT TO EAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Ahem, Ze wanted to explode him with his bazooka so bad he’d kill someone…Actually, he’d kill someone just for 20 dollars. Maybe he could kill Regect with his bazooka or an antivirus program…? Nah. Moe would be upset. Maybe later.
“Well that didn’t turn out good.” Ptolemy stared at the fang marks he left on his bun.
“Okay, Ptolemy. Let’s not make any comments about Regect or his shitty behavior today. We came here to eat, AND to see if those rats are real, so I am not gonna leave just because of some stupid fight about burgers. And that goes for you too Ze!” Msak squinted his eyes at him.
“Wh- What did I do?!”
“Put that gun back please.”
“Oh yeah. Sorry.” He tossed the gun into a pocket that was way smaller than the gun. Was his pockets some sort of hammerspace or something?
Msak waited for a few seconds until Ze started to become awkward of the ridiculousness of this situation.
“Seriously? You brought a gun to a burger place?”
“You didn’t?”
Msak stared at Ze’s pocket with a questioning face. He isn’t usually weirded out by Ze’s weird shenanigans involving guns, but pulling out a gun in a kid friendly restaurant didn’t seem like the best idea to him.
Msak grimaced his face. “I swear I sometimes think you love your guns more than us.”
“Let’s not get that deep.”
Msak pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a deep sigh. Ze was starting to get on his nerves and all he wanted was to eat his dry ass burger and check the kitchen for rats. And he needed all of the manpower he could’ve had in case of the rat being evil and shit. He didn’t watch Ratatouille so he didn’t have any idea if the rat was evil or not.
Ze was still unaware of how bad the situation was. He was pissed off at everything at the same time. The lights flickering on and off, the same employee keeping on stumbling into the table, that clown mascot being an awful resemblence of Moe. EVERYTHING.
None of them were having it either. Ptolemy did seem nonchalant about the ongoing situation, but it was just because his poker face was too good since he was used to Regect’s shitty behavior.
At least Moe seemed a little chill? It was quite hard to judge her everyday mood, her big bangs covering the half of her face and that clown makeup didn’t help much. But her assembling a carboard crown together implied that she was okay with it all this time. Maybe she got used to everything living with Ze and Regect for quite an amount of time?
Msak decided to interrupt the awkwardness once again, “Ze. Hey Ze. I really think you should talk to him.” He waved his hand in front of his eyes to bring him back to the real world.
Ze immediantly became defensive at this. “WHAT?! No way! I ain’t talking to him until he tells me what’s his issue!” His posture stiffens once that Regect bitch is mentioned.
“Yes you are! We aren’t leaving this place until you do! Right Moe?”
“Honk!” She nodded with her sacred wisdom and kept on making different hand gestures around on how must Ze talk to Regect.
“Ugh, you’re both such mood killers!”
“Honk?!”
“Sorry Moe, not you.”
“Honk.”
“Ze! Focus dude! You’re just gonna talk to him, what’s so hard about that? I thought you’d be braver than that.”
Ptolemy pointed his finger up like that one nerd emoji, if Regect saw this he’d be laughing his ass off. “Uhh…Msak. It’s Regect we’re talking about. If I had the chance I’d cut all of my contacts with hi-“
“BUT IN CASE THERE ARE RATS WE NEED A PREY RIGHT? AND WHO WOULD BE A BETTER PREY THAN REGECT?? RIGHT GUYS? GUYS??”
“OHMYGOD- FINE!! I’m gonna talk to him!”
“Thank you Ze. And I’d probably make you prey if you didn’t cooperate.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m leaving now.”
“Bye.”
“Bye. Moe, if I don’t make it back I want you to have my gun collection, don’t let Regect touch any of them.”
“Okay fucking go already!”
“Finefine I’m going! Gosh!”
Ze stood up and it was almost like he had a string of spagetti instead of actual legs. Msak was right, why was it too hard for him to talk to Regect? Was he afraid? Embarrassed? Or simply both? None of that mattered right now, he had to walk straight into that bathroom or he’d be rat meal. He sure loved his life.
He carried those spagettis to right in front the restroom and just stood there. Come on Ze. Open that door Ze. Reach out your hand Ze. Turn the door handle down Ze. Come on Ze. Ze. Ze!
“Ohfuckit!” Ze twisted that door handle with too much force than needed and bursted in. His expections of seeing Regect was…failed? Where the hell was Regect? Did he escape through the window or some shit?
This didn’t seem right. Mens restroom don’t smell like vanilla perfume, and they definetly don’t have makeup products on the counters, and-
“Hey! Get outta here you perv!!” He heard a voice coming from…a lady. A lady. Oh shit, a lady.
He was in the ladies bathroom.
“OHMYGODIMSOSORRY- FUCKFUCKFUCK I’M SO SORRY!!” Ze slammed the door behind him as he saw the lady throw him her purse from the corner of his eye. His heart was beating so damn hard he thought his ribcage would get crushed. Cold sweats ran through him as he felt the air around him getting colder. He swore Regect can’t be worth for the shit he had to go through. Was Regect that distracting to Ze that he couldn’t even tell the difference between the mens and ladies restroom? How embarrassing. The only way he could feel better was to find out this happened to Regect too.
Wait, something wasn’t right.
He gazed between the two doors. Both of them were the same. Two identical pictrogram men wearing IKEA yellow shirts on. Of fucking course.
He let out a deep exaggerated sigh and walked right in the actual mens restroom this time. He didn’t even have the energy to argue with his irritating inner voice this time. Better eat the bullet. Or something like that.
“Ze?”
Ze gulped as he wiped his sweaty hands to his pants. Seeing Regect kneeled over to the sink felt shamely weird. If Ze didn’t know him he’d guess he was crying.
“Regect?”
“…Why did you bring your bitch ass here.”
“Way to kill the mood.”
“What- Huh?! There wasn’t even a mood to begin with! Get the fuck out!”
“No!”
“Why?! Just leave me alone!”
“What’s you issue man?! You’ve been acting all crappy even more than your usual self! If you’re still mad about the cheese thing I’ll get you something else dude just drop it!”
“What- No!”
“…Was it the couples discount-“
“Dude- No, no! Just get out, okay?! I don’t want to deal with this right now.” Regect clutched his head, at least his hands positions made it seem like he did.
Ze finally started to get worried at this point. It wasn’t and everyday situation he saw Regect this upset, hell miserable. He wasn’t the best guy for a pep talk, that was Moe’s thing, but since Moe couldn’t enter the mens bathroom Ze’s all Regect’s got. So he better be grateful with it. Or not. Depended on if he actually ended up being the prey or not.
“Dude…Dude, are you okay?” Ze reached out his hand to him.
“Yes…! No- Ugh!! I don’t fucking know!! Please! Just. Leave.” Regect kept clutching himself even harder.
“Regect.” Ze placed his hand on Regect’s shoulder with a light tap, “I am not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”
Regect huffed sarcastically, “You wouldn’t take it seriously.”
“I mean yeah probabl-“
Regect stared at Ze, raising an eyebrow. Or something like an eyebrow. He sure gave the message of judging Ze, but having an anatomy denying the laws of universe itself made it hard to read his face sometimes.
“Finee,” Ze rolled his eyes, “I won’t judge, at least won’t try to.”
The entity kept the judgy face until he let out a deep sigh. “Good enough.” He pulled away from the sink and stood straight for the first time, the realization hit him that crouching over an unneceressarily low sink and having a breakdown wasn’t actually the best idea after a pain of stiffness strike through his spine.
“So? You gonna talk or what?”
“Ohmygod- Yes. Can you just be quiet for a moment?!”
“K.”
Ze kept waiting until he was ready to talk. Not that he was the patient one, he just didn’t want to get on Regect’s nerves again and get kicked out.
And be fed to the rats.
It was almost like the silence had began to form a shape right before Regect decided to talk.
“I’m supposed to hate you.”
“…Wha- What?”
“But you make that impossible. Every single day, when I wake up, all I can think about is just you and others. I keep- I keep gaslighting myself to hate you because- because…ugh!” Regect slammed his fist onto the counter. “You remind me of everyone that I’ve ever loved or showed even the slightest bit of affection, and I lost them all!! I thought- I thought…if I hated you in some way…I wouldn’t have to go through the same pain I once did when I’ll eventually lose you.” Regect stared at his miserable reflection in the mirror. Why, in any of all possible times. Why now? He looked like shit.
Ze took a step forward, “Regect…I-“
“Shit…That was stupid. I- I’m sorry Ze. Let’s just go back. Forgot everything I said.”
He can’t be serious right now. He, Regect, drops a bombshell, and expects from Ze to forget about it? Both of them knew that wasn’t going to happen, but only one was in the river of the Nile.
“Dude. That’s not happening.” Ze tightened a grip on Regect’s shoulder once again. “You’ve been…thinking about me like that since we’ve met?”
He lightly shrugged, not to lose the touch he’d recieved, “Pretty much, yeah.” His fingers clung onto the counter. “At first…I did kinda despise you. It felt like- like…if I got too close to you, I’d be betraying everyone I’ve lost.” He sighed with exhaustion.
“That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”
Everything went silent. Or maybe it only felt that way, after Regect’s existence had suddenly become the loudest thing in the room. Ze didn’t want to believe it. Did Regect really have to struggle with this insane disbelief all this time, and he didn’t even realize the slightest bit?
All the times Regect treated him like shit, everytime he got ran over by a car, every night feeling like a personal torture by the devil itself. It was all because of this?
None of that mattered now. Ze couldn’t care less about the shitty things he’d gone through. Regect seemed more than important right now.
His body shifted closely to the him. “Dude,” His arms slowly spread around Regect. He twitched. “I’m not having it.” His hands wrapped the entities chest. Why was it so hot in here. “You’re always blaming yourself for these shitty things, stop it.” He rested his chin on the broadness of his shoulder. He could feel the entities hearbeat. Or was it his. Maybe both. “I know how it feels like, I do. And it’s not pleasant. It feels like the hands of the past keeps holding you back from both the present and the future, and the more you struggle, the more they harden their grip.”
Regect shifted hazily, Ze followed him. “But you’re the one caging yourself, you are the hands.” He could feel his breath. “You need to free yourself from the past.”
“I don’t want to forget him.”
“I’m not saying you should.”
Ze placed his hand over his, it felt vaguely cold. “I bet he would’ve wanted for you to live in the moment, not in the shadows of the past. I didn’t know him, but you did. What do you think he’d want you to do?”
Regect looked at his hand…their hands. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ze’s white hair strands sticking out. He tried to gulp but choked on his words.
“Have fun.”
“You said it, I didn’t. If you believe he’d want this for you, correct.”
“B-but…What if I fail him Ze. What if I forget about him while having ‘fun’? I don’t want to do that Ze.”
“Regect, do you remember what you said to me earlier?”
“…What?”
“You said that you couldn’t hate me, no matter what you did.”
“Y…yeah? I don’t understan-“
“That means that you can’t ever forget about him, even if you tried. If he was that special to you, he’ll stay as he is. All you have to do is keep cherishing those memories.”
Regect paused for a moment, “I do cherish them.”
“Atta boy.”
The entity numbly stared at his reflection, suddenly, it didn’t feel as disgusting as it was. His hands slowly gripped Ze’s. He felt unfamiliarly comfortable. It’s been a long time since he’d felt that, it felt good not feeling the urge to yell at Ze every possible time. He’ll miss this moment once it’s over.
…A silence grows inside the room.
…Regect breaks it.
“This is so gay.”
“You’re so gay.”
“Hah.”
Ze nuzzles onto Regect for a short time. “C’mon, everyone’s probably finished with their food. We should get going.” He lets go, careful that the touch between them lasts long as it can, and heads toward the door.
“Uh- Hey Ze.” Regect interrupts him.
He turns head around, holding the door handle. “Yeah?”
His leg is shaking in its place. “We can still do the couples discount thing if you wanna. Not that I care. Bitch.” Was the AC broken or something?
Ze chuckles, “Sure, whatever you say man.” He pulls down the handle.
Their steps echos between the walls, only Ze’s shoes making squicky sounds that makes them cringe. Awkward. As both of them walk down the corridor, it feels weirdly longer than it was somehow. Must be an IKEA thing.
Ze nudges on Regect’s shoulder before they get to their table, “Hey.”
“What?”
“I bet Micha would be glad.”
Regect startles hearing his name after a long, long time. He never did from another one.
He’d give everything to hear this from Micha himself.
“…I hope so.”
Regect notices that the footsteps had stopped. He turns around only to see Ze looking like he’d seen the end.
“Holy shit-“ He yelped.
“Wha- What?”
Regect looks at where Ze was pointing.
Holy shit.
“ZE!! THE RATS WERE REALohhiRegectAND IT GOT MOE!!” Msak says holding onto her as a GIANT FUCKING RAT DRAGS MOE TO THE KITCHEN BY HER LEGS?!
“And my bun.”
“AND Ptolemy’s bun!!”
“HONK!!” Moe screams- honks, struggling for help, throwing water bottles to the giant, presumably French, unsettling rat as a last resort. It looks so disgusting with it’s giant empty eyes, twitching nose, and…and a mustache? Those perfectly trimmed hair pieces were NOT whiskers.
“Holy shit- HOLD ON MOE I’M COMING!!” Regect grabs Ze’s hand, pulling him into a run, but Ze stumbles.
“Dude what are you doing she needs our help!” Regect complains as he keeps tugging at him.
“Uh- yeah sorry! Coming!” Ze slides his hand into his pocket, pulls out a gun with one hand and prepares to shoot.
He will never catch a break will he.