Chapter Text
Josh startled awake, panting. His arms flailed around, trying desperately to hold onto something, anything, that could ground him. Shaky fingers gripped the blanket, as he breathed heavily. Flashes of some strange dream were already fading from his mind, until he realised he had no idea what had even happened. Josh exhaled deeply.
“Just a dream,” he murmured under his breath, noticing his dry throat. He needed water.
He reached to his side, finding the glass on his side table empty. Josh groaned, only now remembering that he hadn’t filled it up tonight like he always did. He supposed he’d just have to get up properly and go to the kitchen. He flicked on the lights and began his little journey.
Josh was still half asleep as he padded down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible. He didn’t know what time it was, and he didn’t care. All Josh wanted was a glass of water and then to go straight back to bed.
He almost jumped out of his skin when he turned and saw a curled-up shape in the corner of the kitchen. At first, his nerves kicked in, unsure of what it was. Then he realised.
“Tyler?” Josh cleared his throat.
The man was slumped against the kitchen cabinet, knees drawn close to his chest. He looked up, wide-eyed. He was like a deer in the headlights, staring straight ahead in shock.
The two had been housemates for a month or so now, and friends for almost a year. It hadn’t been all that long, but they’d quickly become inseparable. Best friends. Josh loved the guy, and already thought he knew him far more deeply than anyone else did. But this was something he wasn’t entirely sure about.
“You okay, bud?” Josh cautiously walked over and sat beside him, leaning comfortably against the cabinet.
“Yeah, fine,” he mumbled unconvincingly. Bathed in the soft light from the hallway, Josh could faintly see tear tracks on his cheeks.
“Mm. ‘Cause it’s completely normal to be curled up on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.” He poked Tyler’s arm gently. “Talk to me, man.”
“Nothing to say.” He was shaking slightly and cold to Josh’s touch. Tyler wiped his eyes roughly, catching Josh staring.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Josh asked softly. “Or just can’t sleep?”
Josh himself had just woken up from a nightmare, not a particularly bad one, but enough that he’d woken. All he’d been looking for was a glass of water before heading back to bed. He hadn’t expected any of this. Nothing could have prepared him to run into this tonight.
“Nightmare,” Tyler replied, grimacing. Josh nodded.
“Wanna talk about it?” He was horribly curious, but he didn’t want to push his best friend too hard.
“Not really,” Tyler said shortly.
“Want a cup of tea, then? It’s pretty cold tonight.”
Tyler dropped his gaze, blinking slowly. It was as if he was scared to accept the offer.
“I’m gonna make tea for both of us. Maybe it’d be good to get off the tiles? Don’t want you catching a cold,” he teased, rubbing Tyler’s arm. God, he was freezing. How long had he been sitting here?
“Okay,” Tyler murmured under his breath, and let Josh pull him to his feet. “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it, man,” Josh waved him off, and filled the kettle.
“Why’re you up?” Tyler mumbled, climbing onto the countertop. “I mean. Did I make too much noise? Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to bother you, I’m sorry.”
Anxiety crept into his voice, becoming meeker with each question. Josh decided he would not let Tyler ever think such things.
“You didn’t wake me up, seriously, I could sleep through anything. Honestly, I had a bit of a bad dream myself. At least,” he continued casually. “Enough to wake me up. And now I don’t even remember it. But I wanted a glass of water. Then I saw you.”
He looked over at Tyler, perched on the counter nervously.
“I feel like you haven’t been sleeping much recently, Ty. Seems like you’re always up late, and always waking up early.” The kettle screamed, and Josh rushed to grab it, filling two mugs. “What’s been going on?”
Josh added a tea bag and a teaspoon of sugar to each. He decided to add a couple more to his own. He also added a spoonful of honey to Tyler’s, since he would bet money that the man’s throat hurt from crying. Tyler watched silently.
“Earth to Tyler. What’s going on?”
Tyler blinked slowly and took the mug Josh was offering. He looked down at his knees.
“Nothing, really. I just have a little trouble sleeping sometimes. Restless and all,” he mumbled, taking a sip of his tea. “Don’t worry about me. I hate it when people worry.”
“Mm. Well, unfortunately, you’re gonna have to learn to deal with that, because I am gonna worry about you, Ty. You know me.”
“Don’t want you to.” Tyler was stubborn, not making eye contact.
“Too bad. I care about you. A lot. And a side effect of caring about someone is worrying a little when you find them sitting alone in the middle of the night, staring at nothing.”
Josh looked up at Tyler, knees up to his chest on top of the counter. He wasn’t doing okay, Josh was sure about that. It was the only thing Josh was sure about. Other than that he was determined to help and would absolutely not leave Tyler here while he was struggling.
“Tyler? How about you try going back to sleep? It’s still early.”
“No, thanks. You go, though. I didn’t mean to bother you.” His voice was meek, hardly a whisper.
“You didn’t bother me. I’m not leaving you alone, though. I’m not going to sleep until I’m certain you’re okay.” Josh reached up to him, resting a hand over Tyler’s. He was still cold. “Do you wanna come sit with me somewhere else, bud? Kinda freezing in here.”
Tyler looked like he was considering it, setting down his still mostly full cup of tea.
“Just leave me alone, Josh,” he tried to snap, no real bite behind the words. “You haven’t known me long enough, you…you don’t need to get involved with me.”
“What do you mean?” Josh felt sick. He knew Tyler wouldn’t give him an understandable explanation.
“I mean. There’s time for you to- you don’t have to-“ he stammered. “Josh, I want you to stick around. I really like you.”
Josh frowned, trying to understand what the man was saying. He squeezed Tyler’s hand. This whole conversation was really scaring Josh. He didn't like the implications of what Tyler was rambling about.
“I don’t understand," he asked softly.
“People…leave. You’re my best friend and I really just don’t wanna lose you,” he murmured into his arm. “It’s fine, okay, you can still treat me like I’m normal, please just-"
“Ty, hey, slow down. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Concern seeped into his voice.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. Tired.” The man did look exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes that had been there most of the week.
“I’ll bet. Come on, go to bed.” Tyler shook his head rapidly. “Fine. Come sit down on the couch with me, then. Don’t argue.”
After a good deal of trying, he managed to coax Tyler down from the countertop like a nervous cat. Josh grabbed both cups of lukewarm tea and led Tyler to their small living room. He decided against switching the lights on, inwardly still hoping that Tyler could catch a little more sleep. Instead, he pulled the blinds open, casting just enough moonlight into the room.
“Ty?” He sat beside his best friend on the couch and handed him a mug. “Talk to me, bud.”
“Nothing to say,” Tyler mumbled, taking a sip. “Thanks for the tea.”
“Mm. Is it alright if I…” Josh’s hand hovered over the man’s arm. “I feel like you could use a hug.”
Tyler’s eyes filled with tears, staring down at his knees. He nodded shakily.
“Come here, man. You’re okay,” Josh said calmly, opening his arms. “I’m not gonna leave.”
Tyler slumped into him, empty mug still clutched in his hands. He shivered against Josh, curling up into his side. He pulled Tyler tightly against him and wrapped his arms around him. Tyler dropped his head to Josh’s chest. He groaned softly and sniffled, relaxing into him. Tyler yawned softly. It filled Josh with unbelievable fondness for the man in his arms.
“You’re cold. How long were you sitting there before I saw you?” Josh carefully eased the mug from his best friend’s grasp and set it on the coffee table. “Ty?”
He startled, tensing up in Josh’s arms.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep.” He was weirdly defensive about it.
“It’s alright, man. We’re all good, okay?”
Tyler nodded, hair tickling Josh’s neck.
“I didn’t mean to make this a big deal, Josh. Seriously, just forget about all this. Forget about…me. Like this,” he whispered into Josh’s chest. “Stupid.”
“Uh-huh. Just go to sleep, bud. You’ve been yawning this whole time,” Josh murmured fondly into the man’s hair. “Sleep.”
Tyler mumbled something unintelligible and leaned further into Josh, practically in his lap. Within minutes, he was snoring softly.
“Goodnight, Ty,” Josh chuckled, carefully tucking a blanket over the man’s shoulders. “Sleep well.”
|-/
When they woke up together the next morning, neither one said anything about the night’s events.
Josh refused to complain about the pain in his neck from falling asleep while still sitting up, and Tyler refused to comment on the fact that he’d woken up in Josh’s lap. They went about their day as usual.
Josh had known the man for almost a year now, but he’d never seen Tyler quite like that. Sure, he knew that his friend was weird and didn’t always like to talk about things, but he truly hadn’t expected to find him like that. Just so, frozen? Like a shell of who he was, if only for a moment before he saw Josh. He didn’t know what to make of it, but he knew for a fact that Tyler would kill him if he acted weird around him. So Josh went on with his life as if nothing had happened.
It was hard when he cared so deeply about Tyler, but he knew he had to respect the man’s independence. They wouldn’t get anywhere if Tyler felt like Josh was treating him differently or being overprotective.
And so Josh kept a watchful eye on his best friend, without saying anything more to him about the incident.