Work Text:
The doorbell rung as an envelope fell through. Jendrik got up from his sofa and walked over to the door, bent down and picked up the envelope. It was stamped and address to Jendrik Sigwart, him.
Odd, he didn't remember sending anything recently.
Unless...
He opened the envelope and two pieces of paper fell out. They weren't cards and were just paper. There was quite a bit of writing on both, which confused Jendrik. It was handwritten and not typed out, so it must be from someone he knew personally.
What had happened recently that required someone sending him a handwritten letter back?
He made his way back to his sofa, and once getting comfy and putting his feet up, he started to read the letter, with the first line catching his eye:
"First, thank you for the birthday card."
Whose birthday was it recently?
He checked the calendar on his phone: 2nd July.
There was nothing on July, so he scrolled back to June.
And there it was marked on the 29th June, Gjon's birthday. Jendrik gave him a birthday card and that was it. Although he didn't see Gjon much due to their schedules being busy, he always made sure to give him a birthday card, and Gjon gave him one back. It was sort of a small tradition they had.
But what provoked Gjon to write a long letter in return?
The curiousity piqued his interest too much, so he began reading:
Dear Jendrik.
First, thank you for the birthday card. I want to send you a letter back because my 28th birthday means a lot to me and I love the little tradition we have or sending birthday cards back to each other!
Time goes by quickly, so fucking quickly. Life it like a slow treadmill and you can't stop it, no matter how hard you try.
As a kid I was never worried about age, but then the childhood anxiety of turning 18 stepped in. "What was I going to try with my life" I thought, and "should I really pursue music as my life's worth?"
I love music, but there was that existential dread inside of me if I never made "it." My family and friends were still proud of me, and when I went to the Eurovision Song Contest, the amount of support I had was unbelievable and overwhelming at times. People were now approaching me on the street, thankfully not too much.
Then it slowly died down and reached a halt a year after the contest was over.
Everyone else was releasing songs, albums and going on tours. Years passed as I was still in the same position of making music for myself with a label that took ages to release my debut album. (nearly two years after the contest) I'm grateful that I had a label in the first place but it really killed all the momentum that I was trying to build.
Måneskin, who were on the other side of the split-screen in the deciding moment on who was the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2021, were not good to compare myself too. It did a real number of me because they were absolutely massive and hearing their music in public all across the world multiple times makes me ponder alot.
Could I have reached those feats if I had just catered to the mainstream?
Sometimes I did branch out to "basic pop" for my own enjoyment, but looking at the comments on social media – the most of them were supportive – were people being angry that an artist they didn't even personally know made the music that they wanted to make.
Måneskin had that effect all well, which is a shame because their entire discography is good.
I have spent years comparing myself to Måneskin though. It sounds like jealousy, but I'm a perfectionist and feel like I'm never doing enough right.
And they're younger than me.
And so are so many pop stars now. I'm happy for their successes, but I feel like I'm losing grip of "being the young guy with the insane voice" because there is always another with better marketing.
But at the same time, I don't think I would enjoy being globally famous.
In 2024, my label and fanbase got too much and I just need a break, so I split from my label, moved back to Switzerland as I had been living in Paris to be more closer with my label and tried to figure out who I wanted to be. In February 2025 I signed with a US label, and things were looking up.
I was 26 then and now I'm 28.
I hate 26-28, so fucking much.
26, you're viewed as young still but on thin ice, but a year later you're 27, turning 28, and now viewed as old. People my age are now at an age to get engaged, married and have children without any judgement.
I still think it's too early for me. I still feel like a 22 year old, but I'm not.
Should I grow up?
I've always been a mature person, everyone was impressed by that when I was 22, but now I'm 28, people around me have caught up in matureness.
I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat, because I still feel like I've achieved nothing.
On the 28 April 2023, the date of my first album release, I was 24.
Then, what felt like one second later, I'm 28.
I'll be 29 next year, and then 30.
There will be more things I'm expected to do by my fans, by releasing a second album and making more music.
Will I still be propped up to such pressure when I'm 40, 50 or 60? Where will I be then?
I talked to my older brother about this and he said I was being paranoid, like, really paranoid. He said I should do stuff when I'm ready, but I can't stop comparing myself to other people.
Then I look at Kateryna's age, she has never let it be a source of anxiety around her and just does things she wants to on her own accord. I also look at you, Jendrik. You've always had a youthful energy to you, similar to me, and you're in your thirties. Vaidotas in the same and he's nearly a decade older than you.
Maybe everyone just doesn't care what anyone thinks. I'd love to get some tips from you to handle it, because one second I'm dressed like I'm at a dinner party and the next second I'm making the entire room laugh with some silly jokes and chicken noises.
Currently I'm in a production called "La Légende de Monte-Cristo", as the lead role of Edmond Dantés. The director had another singer to audition for the role, and once they did, I was still first choice.
I feel like I wouldn't have had done such a professional production like that where we toured all over France and other French-speaking countries close by for months if I was younger. I did a professional production when I was only 16/17 in 2015 and I was sweating buckets. I can fondly remember everyone being very nice to awkward teenager me.
The same goes for the cast of La Légende de Monte-Cristo. Philippine, my co-star and love interest in the story, who I've done most of the interviews and write the songs with, has been incredibly sweet. Like me, she is slightly conscious about her age as she is in her early thirties, which is why she thinks she isn't "mold" for a pop singer. I tell her to not let age get in the way of dreams.
Carla, who I have worked with in the past and is a year younger than me, is also in the play. We have got on extraordinary well and there have been many jokes that Carla should be Mercedes (who Philippine has been cast as) instead.
Many of my co-stars are older than me, some older by decades. Their voices are magnificent and the range is something I can dream of. They have obviously been on stage for a long time and have had experience and lots of training.
Age is strange.
20-26: Young.
27-29: Old, get the retirement home ready.
30: Anxiety induced panic attack where you cry uncontrollably in your breakfast and lament on all of your life choices.
31+: Life goes on.
I find out that the second you hit 30, nothing matters. Every year is just another year until you hit 40 and the process repeats itself.
Expectations on the internet have made it like your entire life is confined to your twenties and although I still feel slower to my peers in the game of life. (Note: Everyone my age getting engaged is insane, how is that possible?! I get people want to settle down, but I still feel like I haven't met the right person.)
I'm in no rush to do these things, but I go on Instagram and the first thing I usually see are engaged, married and doing pregnancy announcement posts, I look up the persons age and they're younger than me, sometimes by five years.
I should let people be happy, but people shouldn't be in a rush to do these things and savour life a bit more.
Maybe I'm just miserable because my career hasn't gone out the way I expected to.
But I'm living off my career, I have fans people can only dream of, but I still compare myself to musicians who have millions of followers.
I always say I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure, but I still crave the same heights as 2021.
All I know is that I'm now ready to be 28.
Sincerely Gjon.
Jendrik had no idea that the lovely ray of sunshine known as Gjon was self-conscious about his age. He was happy that Gjon had come to terms with it and had even used Jendrik as an example – and to be honest, he, himself didn't feel like he was in his thirties either.
Next time he saw Gjon, he was going to give him a great big hug because he deserved it.