Chapter Text
Connor had a bad feeling and hated himself for it. He had lived in the ashram since he was a little boy, and he had only seen his mother twice since then. Receiving a letter from her now, saying she was expecting him back home, came as a shock. Connor should have been happy, and part of him was, but even as the ashram grew smaller behind him, he knew something couldn’t be right.
Why now? Why at all?
Connor had liked his life at the ashram. It had been pleasant, with a regular daily routine, and Connor could focus entirely on his studies.
But most importantly, he had been safe there.
His mother had explained to him early on that no one must know he was the illegitimate son of King Oliver of the House of Queen. The nobility would not accept him and would view him as a threat. That, of course, would require his father to acknowledge him. But he would not. Instead, he would have Connor executed for his lies against the crown.
The ashram had been the best place to keep his mother out of danger and to stay away from the lives of the nobility. A lot would have had to happen for the king to take notice of an ashram on the edge of his kingdom.
After a half-day’s march, Connor came upon a young knight lying in the grass and gazing at the clouds. The knight wore only light armor, but his green collar identified him as a Knight of the Will. One of the ten orders of knights throughout the land (even beyond the realm of House Queen). Connor had read a great deal about the orders of knights at the ashram, and as far as he could tell, the young man had already completed his training. Had he already sworn his allegiance to a house? Many Green Knights swore their allegiance to Queen, something that had previously filled Connor with pride; after all, the Green Knights were the most honorable of all the orders of knights.
Connor briefly considered whether he should speak to the man, but then decided against it. It would soon be dark, and Connor had two more days of travel ahead of him. He shouldn’t let himself get distracted; after all, it wasn’t a good sign that his mother hadn’t gone into detail even in her letter. Out of fear that someone might intercept it?
“Hey, wait!” someone called out to him, and Connor turned around almost immediately. The knight smiled at him and then nodded toward his black horse. It had a white stripe of fur between its ears and seemed to be still young. “Shall I give you a ride?”
“I don’t want to be a burden to you, Sir.” Connor bowed his head slightly. If the man already belonged to House Queen, it was better to keep his distance. No matter how refreshing it was to talk to someone his own age.
“Sir?” the man asked, briefly confused, before looking down at himself and laughing out loud. His smile was friendly, and Connor knew that first impressions could be deceiving, yet he couldn’t imagine the man would ever harm him. “Oh, right, I haven’t gotten used to it yet. I’m Kyle, and you can drop the ‘sir’ when we’re among ourselves. So? Are you going to hop on?”
Connor should have refused, but he nodded and let Kyle mount first before settling in behind him. The monastery had had horses as well, but they had been old and unsuitable for riding. However, Connor had still enjoyed spending time with them.
“Thanks for giving me a ride, Kyle. What’s the horse’s name?”
“Ion, but I’m more interested in your name.”
Ion began to trot gently, and it felt good to feel the wind and just live in the moment. No matter what his mother wanted from him, it didn’t matter right now.
“Connor,” he replied, almost ready to say he was on his way home, but he knew his mother would be disappointed in him if he shared too much about himself. His life had always been a secret. “You mentioned you recently finished your studies?”
Kyle nodded, and Connor didn’t like how he suddenly tensed up. Maybe he, too, had wanted to live in the moment instead of thinking about his life and his responsibilities.
“Yes. My mentor, Sir Hal, is urging me to join his side and also swear my loyalty to House Queen, but I haven’t made up my mind yet. To be honest, I don’t even know if I want to be a knight, but it’s probably too late for that.”
Connor could see how much this weighed on Kyle. It certainly wasn’t easy to find his own path when others already seemed to know exactly where it should lead.
“No one can force you to do anything, Kyle. But the House of Queen is a very good regiment that does a lot of good for the people. It wouldn’t be a decision you’d regret.”
Kyle smiled. “I suppose you have to say that as a citizen of this country.”
Connor looked up and frowned. Even though his father didn’t acknowledge him as a son, Connor knew he was a righteous king. Since he’d been in power, there had been hardly any war with the surrounding countries, and executions had been cut in half.
“No one can force me to do anything either, Kyle. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t believe it to be true.”
After that, they rode on in silence until the sun set and they came upon the next village. Kyle led Ion to an inn and handed the reins, along with a bronze coin, to a young stable boy, who led Ion to the adjacent stable.
“It was nice meeting you, Connor. I’d love to talk to you some more, but unfortunately I have to keep heading east, toward the capital.”
Connor nodded. He was still heading south and had already expected that their paths would part eventually.
“Thank you so much for making my journey easier. I’m sure we’ll see each other again someday.”
Kyle smiled, and Connor continued down the path. Thanks to the ride, he still had enough energy to keep going in the light of the full moon. In an hour or two, he would lie down and wait for morning.
“There you are, my boy,” his mother greeted him as he entered the yard. He enjoyed the hug and tried not to return it too enthusiastically.
“I’m glad to see you again,” he said, pursing his lips. He hadn’t meant for it to sound so formal, but Sandra seemed to approve of his formality, for she nodded with a smile on her lips.
“I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Connor. Get yourself ready quickly and come into the parlor.”
“Certainly,” Connor responded, though he was unsure how to start making sense of that statement. In his mother’s letters, she had never mentioned a wedding. She had also never told him how big the farm had become. As a child, it had been a single cabin with a bit of land, but now there was a stone house, and Connor could even make out a barn.
Life had gone on without him, and Connor had been aware of that. But it was only now that he realized how much of a stranger his own mother actually was to him. Connor knew she loved him, and she had probably brought him back to be with her because of the wedding. She wanted him to be part of her new family.
Connor realized he had been naïve.
“There he is! You were so right, Sandra. His father’s eyes!”
Connor flinched slightly as the man cupped his head in both hands and studied him. Connor’s unease stemmed not only from the unexpected touch but also from the man’s apparent knowledge of his father. For as long as he could remember, there had only ever been three people who knew about his father’s identity: his mother, Oliver Queen, and himself. Connor had never expected his mother to tell anyone.
“Connor, sweetheart. This is Milo Armitage. He’s an advisor to the king and will be ensuring our safety.”
Connor forced his feelings back. He hadn’t been taught to show his frustration and confusion outwardly. Instead, he had to think through these feelings before they drove him to do something he might regret.
He wanted to scream because he didn’t understand what his mother meant. How could she so calmly assume that this man was on their side?
Milo seemed to notice his confusion, for he began to explain. “Your mother is a remarkable woman, Connor, with a foresight that many lack. Perhaps you didn’t notice it at the monastery, but in the capital of the kingdom, unrest and discontent are growing. The king, your father, actually named his ward as heir to the kingdom a week ago. A position reserved for a true Queen—you.”
“I’m a bastard,” Connor replied, because that was the truth. He was the product of a night that should never have happened. As heir to the throne, Oliver Queen shouldn’t have been associating with commoners. Connor’s mother wasn’t to blame, and probably neither was his father. Still, that didn’t change the fact that their love had been neither true love nor right.
“And yet more Queens’ blood flows through your veins than through Roy Harper’s.” Milo spat out the name, and Connor flinched slightly. That hatred… Connor had never been in a room with anyone who radiated that feeling so intensely. As the king’s advisor, shouldn’t Milo swear allegiance to his king? Should it matter what he thought if his king had already made up his mind?
The way Milo spoke of Roy Harper was tantamount to high treason. After all, Roy Harper was the future king.
“Connor, please understand,” Sandra said now, placing a warm hand on his shoulder, “I know you’ve never been interested in the throne, but what do you think will happen if Harper finds out about you? Do you think he’ll let you live if you pose an obvious threat to his future? You could ruin everything for him. I can’t lose you, and Milo will make sure it never comes to that.”
Connor said nothing. Even though he shouldn’t have, he had combed through the books in the library of the ashram for news about his father. He hadn’t found much about his family, but he had learned about Roy Harper from the other monks. Oliver had taken the nine-year-old in when Connor was six. He had chosen Roy, and it had taken Connor a long time to accept that.
He had never for a moment considered that it meant Roy Harper would also get a throne to which Connor had no claim.
“I’ll take care of everything,” Milo promised in a dark voice, “You can just make up for lost time with your mother and wait until it’s time to make an appearance.”
Milo said he’d take care of it, and Connor could clearly hear that this meant Roy Harper would have to suffer.