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Tina Goldstein is born two weeks late, and she is angry from the beginning. She does not cry or wail as many newborns do, she bellows. She shouts her many objections to a new world that has yet to prove itself satisfactory.
Her mother (the eldest of five) says she has never known an angrier, pricklier infant. She calls her “my fretful porpentine” after a line of Shakespeare. So when it is time to officially register her daughter’s name, she is Porpentina Esther Goldstein. Tina for short.
Her father says she shows great strength already, in voice at least. He holds her in loving arms and says he’s sure Tina will be a powerful witch someday, as long as she doesn’t let her temper get the better of her.
But that seems inevitable, as it is only two years later when Tina stamps her feet, refuses to go to bed, and demands to see her new sibling. She is allowed in at last, and climbs into the big bed with her mother to get her first look at Queenie.
Neither she nor her parents know yet that Queenie can already hear their thoughts, and though they make precious little sense to a newborn, she can feel her parents’ joy. So Queenie mirrors it with startling and precocious laughter.
Tina thinks Queenie looks rather like a loaf of bread, wrapped up in a blanket to keep it warm and with a few red-gold curls on top. But she still pats the soft cheek of her new family member, the one that has made her a big sister.
###
It is years later, but Tina is still just a girl when she loses both her parents to dragon pox. She lies on her bed and cries for hours, and at first does not notice Queenie creeping into the room and climbing into the bed to cuddle with her.
Tina feels that all the light has gone out of the world, and if she should open her eyes she would see the same blackness as behind her eyelids. But when she does, what she actually sees is Queenie’s red-gold curls, like a candle-flame in the darkness. And Tina knows she can’t join her parents, even though she wants to so much it hurts. She has to stay and protect Queenie. And saving Queenie will save her, too.
###
Through the years they always love each other, and that does not wax or wane. But that doesn’t mean they always like each other, or that they always get along. They’re two very different people. At Ilvermorny, Tina is sorted into Thunderbird, and is expected to be the youngest witch ever to be accepted into the Advanced Dueling class. Queenie, on the other hand, is a Pukwudgie, and shows great talent for healing.
It is when Tina is 16 and Queenie is 14 that they have their worst fight ever. Tina has found out that Queenie has dropped out of the healer track, giving no reason and despite constantly performing and testing excellently.
“What are you thinking, Queenie?” Tina scolds, as she paces back and forth by her sister’s bed. “You have a special gift for healing magic, everyone says so. And as a natural Legilimens you will have an advantage with diagnosis when someone comes to you for help. How can you throw that away?”
“I just don’t want to do it anymore, Tina. That’s all,” Queenie says in a terse reply.
“Not nearly good enough, Queenie Goldstein,” Tina says, her voice rising along with her anger. “You better come up with a decent reason or you’re going right back into that program tomorrow.” She is unprepared as Queenie, bubbly, flirty Queenie, rounds on her and begins to shout back.
“I can’t do it, okay?! I can cast the spells but I can’t bear the work! Do you know how frightened most people are when they are hurt? The kind of panic and sadness that runs through their minds, shouting even when they are too ill to whisper? Well, I do. I can’t shut it up, or shut it out, and it’s starting to hurt. I’m never doing healing work again, and you can’t make me! You’re not Mama, Tina; Mama’s dead!”
Then Tina does something she has never done in her life: she slaps Queenie, hard. Queenie’s face goes white with shock, save for the blooming red mark on her cheek. Tina immediately wants to curl up in shame; hadn’t their father always impressed upon them that they must never strike each other? But she can’t apologize. The words can’t make it past the lump in her throat.
Instead she sits and starts to cry, fat ugly tears and wrenching sobs, until Queenie comes and sits beside her. Queenie hears Tina’s mind, and the sorrow and guilt at being all Queenie has, and says “Don’t you blame yourself for Mama and Dad, Tina. I know you think you somehow should’ve been able to do something, but I couldn’t do anything either. I never blamed you. It just happened.” She puts her arm around Tina, then, and Tina leans into her sister.
They will always love each other, and that will not wax or wane. But this is the first time Tina thinks that maybe they will always be friends, too.
###
As an Auror in New York City, Tina definitely feels that she doesn’t see people at their best. But there are degrees of even that, and sometimes suffering can be so acute that it pierces her shield of professionalism.
She was only meant to investigate the Second Salem woman, but to see the cruelty of her beating Credence was more than Tina could bear. She didn’t think of her job or her reputation; her vision was filled with a cringing child receiving a whipping far beyond anything acceptable or excusable. She Curses the woman soundly, and reaches out to the boy where he is cowering on the floor.
She is amazed when he responds a little to her kindness, uncurling slightly toward her; how can he trust anyone after that? She just wants to get him away from there.
But he is left with his abusive and Obliviated mother, and Tina is demoted, and is told she is lucky not to have been dismissed or even imprisoned. She is expressly forbidden from going near either of them ever again. But how can she stay away?
###
When Tina first meets Newt Scamander, her Auror instincts tell her “criminal”. He is doing something he shouldn’t be. He has something he shouldn’t have. He squirms when she tries to pin him down with simple questions, and will not meet her eyes when she speaks to him. He has something to hide, says her gut. Don’t let him out of your sight.
It’s strange how she ends up being completely right and simultaneously completely wrong about him. Everything her instincts said was true, except the part about him being a criminal. Oh certainly, he is doing things that are very much against the law here in America, but it is not out of revenge or greed or personal gain.
Newt is trying to protect something; it’s his nature as much as it is hers. He loves his creatures and wants them to be safe. He places himself between them and danger, and begs for their lives when he believes he is going to lose his.
It is nearly the end of the whole mess when Credence, dark and nebulous and hurting and out of control, is Cursed into a million shreds by her fellow Aurors. Tina understands why they did it. But she still resents them for it, for not trying harder to save him. And she knows Newt does, too.
Her anger and sorrow well up inside, and for a moment she wishes to be small again. To crawl into bed and just sob, until another person’s warmth settles next to her. But in her mind’s eye, it is not Queenie’s red-gold curls that she sees, but Newt’s red-brown. Because he understands. They understand each other in this completely.
###
When Jacob leaves, Tina feels almost… numb, despite a flare of panic when Queenie offers to go with him. She’s afraid of being alone, and afraid of what would happen to Queenie if she were found out to be fraternizing with a No-Maj. But the hurt of what has just happened is already too deep to process as it is.
She is given a few moments at the port with Newt, before he sails back to England. He kindly promises to send her a copy of his book, once it’s finished. She doesn’t know exactly why she brings up Leta Lestrange, but she does, and it seems to shatter any good mood they might have been maintaining up until then. Yet he doesn’t chide her for asking, or tell her to mind her own business.
How can he be so different from her, when they’re so alike? And is he really going to just leave her life forever? It’s maddening.
She is relieved, at least, when he offers to return to give her his book in person.
###
Tina Apparates home, and sees Queenie, bright, bubbly Queenie, crying silently as she sits at their dinner table drinking coffee. She doesn’t ask why. She knows why.
But she is surprised when Queenie asks in a soft voice, “Tina, is it possible to love someone after only knowing him for a few days?” Queenie has never asked Tina about love before.
“Yes, yes I think so,” Tina replies quickly. “In fact, I’m sure of it.” She gets herself a cup of coffee. Then she lets the image of Newt’s gentle touch on her cheek as he tucked her hair behind her ear float to the top of her mind, where she is sure Queenie will see it. Queenie’s gasp tells her she was right.
And when Tina finds out some time later that Queenie has been breaking societal conventions, promises and laws in order to visit Jacob at his bakery, for once she can’t find it in her heart to be angry. Because that’s Queenie.
But for herself? She will do her job, and follow the rules, and wait for Newt to come back to her in his own time. Because that’s her.