Chapter Text
Crisis averted! I'm not usually the one who says that. Usually it's coming from a crewmate who's name I don't know, reassuring me that everything's alright. Things never go wrong in my life anyways! My life is perfect! This once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Skeld has been just like one of the many movies I've starred in, but in real life! Complete with close-calls and the ship almost becoming nothing but MIRA scrap in space.
Regardless, the crisis was averted, thanks to the diligent work of the employees on board, who I also don't know the names of.
Because we weren't dead, the Captain threw a party! I'm invited to parties all of the time, so I didn't feel like I was missing out on much when I headed off to finish my 20,000 steps of the day. Gosh, I'm so fit!
Now, nothing bad happens in my life, like, ever... but what happened on my jog I would call sure consider unusual.
So there I was, making the turn from Comms to Storage, finishing up my jog, when I could have sworn something was watching me. Sure, I have many fans, so it's not too weird for me to get that feeling, but this was... different. It was more... creepy? Like a fan who finds my address and has to be escorted away by my bodyguards kind of creepy. I remember stopping to jog in place so I could take a look around without ruining my pace.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in Storage, other than the giant hole in the wall that had been plugged with trust balls. I thought Huh, must be my imagination! and I was about to jog back to the cafeteria when something slimy grabbed my leg and pulled me up into the air!
"Bodyguards! Security! Law enforcement!" I shouted. This was the strangest thing that had ever have happened to me! Was this what it was like to have something bad happen? It was unusual and exciting, but not in a good way!
I have been accustomed to bodyguards by my side at all times, but here there was no one to save me! I couldn't even turn around to see what had gotten me, and a large shadow was quickly enveloping everything around me. What was happening!?
Then, an even stranger thing happened, probably the strangest of all. I heard a laugh! A creepy, eerie laugh that didn't sound like a crewmate's at all. For the first time in my life, I think I was afraid. I've never been afraid, that's never happened to me before! Where was an authority!? Where were the police!?
I heard a sound, a disgusting squelching, and I felt the hot breath on my back.
"Oh, mommy!" I shouted, wishing they would appear and take me back to my room and give me hugs and kisses. I just needed to be anywhere but here! To my very understandable surprise, my prayer was answered.
I heard a clunk, the sound of steam escaping, and then--
WHAM!
I heard an in-crewmate shriek and something huge rolling away behind me. My leg was let go and I fell to the metal floor, shaking and sputtering. Something was now standing over me.
Remember when I said that that encountering that creepy laughing monster was the strangest thing that had ever happened to me? Yeah, scratch that. This was now the strangest thing!
I don't even know how to describe it, but I'm sure that the reasonably attractive doctor on this ship will attach pictures of it at the end of this recording.
Frankly, it looked very disgusting, the thing that was then standing over me. I might barf just talking about it! Crazy, huh? You're just going to have to take my word for it, about how gross it looked. I'll let some other poor soul talk about it in detail.
I've been asked to list some important things about it, though.
It had a pipe. So, it was strong enough and tall enough to rip one out of the ceiling!
Now that I think about it... I think-- I think it saved me from the monster!
Or maybe it had grabbed me itself? I'm not sure. All the blud had been rushing to my head.
There's only so much I can talk about without feeling faint, it had some truly horrific features: weird tubes connecting its hands to its body! And-- and I could see its bones! That's right, bones PLURAL! Through its skin!
The shock of seeing it had already been making me feel dizzy. Then it spoke! Can you believe that? It talked! It said something like:
"I've got you, lil' guy."
Then it collapsed beside me. I blacked out right after that... and that's the last thing I remember before waking up in the Medical Bay.