Work Text:
A Lost Soul
As soon as the morning came, my eyes searched for him, probably because of the argument, I had a disgusting pain in my head. I had never argued with Billy in such a strange way before, his absence was very obvious... It hurt so much to kick out the person I called my brother. But at the same time, I was so mad at him that I couldn't even think.
My hand was going back and forth on the phone, I wanted to call Shanillla and ask about Billy's condition, but I refused, I didn't want to justify him, my resentment towards him wasn't completely gone.
While sitting on the bed, my eyes were freezing, there was silence in the house, someone had literally turned down the music in the house… and I was the one who turned that music down.
I got up and shook off, put on my usual clothes and took my bag and left the house without even looking at the time or the class schedule. My mind was on Shanilla. I needed to know if Billy was there. Maybe something bad happened to him that I didn't know about... I couldn't control my thoughts..
At the same time, his gesture to me kept coming before my eyes, sometimes he was really acting like a child, but I couldn't get angry with him because he is my best friend I mean, I guess he's still my friend… I don't know how much I had the right to treat him like that, but I couldn't forget his attitude towards me.
My mind was lost in thought, I hit the pole without realizing it, after rubbing my face with my hands, when I raised my head, I realized that I had come to the front of the high school. I was trying to go to class with fast and slow steps, when I arrived, I saw Lolo talking on the phone in front of the door, her face turned sour when she saw me and she put on that fake face and continued her conversation, pretending to have fun talking to the other party. I rolled my eyes at her, I didn't like her at all.
When I entered the classroom, the first thing I did was to look for Shanilla, when I saw her and Rajeev side by side, I felt the light in my eyes come back, I approached them slowly and waited for them to notice me. It didn't take a short time, the moment Rajeev saw me, he immediately started talking-
"Spencylvaniaa!! It seems like you came a little early, where have you been dude?? I'm very surprised that Ponzi didn't see you."
Shanilla looked at Rajeev with a 'stop talking nonsense' face and laughed, the smile disappeared when her eyes turned to me, as if she was reading me or probably understood what happened, I thought Billy told her because he talks too much, until Shanilla spoke—
"Spencer... are you okay? You look so tired and sluggish? besides, where's Billy?"
She asked that question that I wanted not to be asked. I felt sick to my stomach, the light in my eyes disappeared and fear was reflected instead, I tried not to notice it and started to speak directly.
"How- wait what do you mean, Billy didn't come to you yesterday?"
Shanilla was looking at me in confusion and trying to make sense of it, and Rajeev must not have understood the situation, because he was looking at me with his eyes narrowed, Shanilla –
" I don't understand, was he supposed to come to us?" paused for a second and continued-
"Oh no, did you guys argue? What happened Spencer?? Even your biggest argument doesn't last 5 minutes, something big must have happened this time..."
Shanilla's words were flying around, and her sentences were getting blurry. I couldn't clear my head. Why did I feel like a part of me was lost? I haven't felt this way before, there is a big problem that I can't solve, and it's very big…
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My mind went to Hoover. I stopped for a moment, frowned, and said-
"Don't tell me Hoover did something again."
Shanilla must have thought of it too, because she seemed to have the same idea as me, and Rajeev-
"Oh, don't wear it dude he will surely come out of somewhere! Maybe he wanted to go out and get away to distract himself? Give him some time"
After Rajeev's words, I frowned and focused on the ground, why did this happen?
"Well, the last time I saw him was yesterday afternoon, yes he goes, but Billy doesn't stay out for so long, he comes home and either lies down or looks at the TV, but he's home dude! There is another problem here."
Rajeev looked at me with a dull face and examined me, and something funny must have come to his mind because he raised his eyebrows and started grinning-
"Heheh dude, what is this tension, calm down! even I don't get so nervous about Lolo, man, what do you mean, like a lover"
Right after speaking in a calm and arrogant way, he listened closely to Lolo's voice as she passed by the door. Then, he ran and started calling out to her-
"LOLO HEY! I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU THE MOVIE I SHOT WITH SPENCER LAST WEEK, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT, BABY!!"
Lolo's shout from the end of the corridor was echoing all the way here-
"UGH FUCK YOU RAJEEV!!"
Shanilla and I were shocked by how quickly Rajeev's mood changed. We looked at each other and couldn't stop laughing.. After our laughter, I felt Shanilla touch my arm, and when I turned to her, she started talking-
"Spencer, I know you're very nervous and anxious right now, no matter how much you laugh, you're trying to suppress your pain, but don't let your mood down, we'll find him and everything will be the same as before." Was it really going to happen?
"Also, know that we are always with you" These words warmed my heart and caused me to get rid of that anxiety a little. I smiled, turning towards Shanilla-
"Thank you, Shanilla..."
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After the recess ringer, I turned my head to Shanilla and Rajeev, but unexpectedly, Shanilla suddenly appeared in front of me. Roses were blooming on her face, as if she had an idea-
"Spencer, now the plan is like this, you will come to us tomorrow first, we will call Hoover's pizza number. When we call, we'll tell him that we have Billy and want to give it to him—now you might be thinking, "uh hoover won't doubt it's a trap?" Yes, he will! and we're going to use you at that time, I hate Spencer! I WISH HE WOULD DISAPPEAR! AhaaHha" I swallowed aloud at Shanilla's speech. *gulp*
" ...and I found a weakness of his. I want to take my revenge like this.. Next, we will meet with Hoover and question him. Also, yes, I thought about this too: 'Uhhh, if Billy is in their hands, why would Hoover want to meet with us? He would just ignore us—' NO!! At this point, if he comes, it will be a small clue for us-
Ah, of course, let's hope Billy is in their hands, or our investigation might get bigger…"
Sometimes I was surprised by Shanilla's mind. She instantly came up with ideas for things we couldn't think of, she was a perfect friend..
Rajeev said-
"so when do you plan to do this, you know, I'm a busy guy, I have a ton of things to do, like a date with Lolo" *whistle*
Shanilla rolled her eyes at her brother and continued-
"Whenever Spencer wants, of course! But I think we shouldn't waste time."
I agreed with Shanilla, Billy was a cowardly chicken, but most importantly, he was my friend.
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Right after we left school, I set out for home. Since I was walking home, I put my hand on my mp3 to listen to some music and take my thoughts away from my head for a while-
-click here to listen to the song-
Show me the dirt pile and I will pray that the soul can take, three stowaways
You vanish with no guile, and I will not pay, but the soul can wait...
Well, it's still pretty what with all these leaks, we'll be fine
We'll be fine but if it's still pretty what with all these leaks, we'll be fine, oh
And supervise
You show me the dirt pile and I will pray that the soul can take, three stowaways
Then you vanish with no guile, and I will not pay, but the soul can waitI felt you so much today
I know you try
You try straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart girl, I know you try
You fly straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart but here comes the falls
So much for make-believe, I'm not sold
So much of dreams deceit, I'm not prepared to know
Your heart makes me feel, your heart makes me bold
For always and ever, I'll never let go
Always concealed, safe and inside
Alive
Show me the dirt pile, and I will pray that the soul can take three stowaways
In a passion it broke, I pull the black from the gray, but the soul can waitI felt you so much today...
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With the end of the song, I started to look around: I was close to home. When I raised my head, I noticed that someone from afar was trying to climb to the upper balcony with the ladder of the car. To be sure, I approached him slowly and unnoticed then I realized-
The owner of this car was Hoover himself?
Slowly, I walked closer to the stairs where Hoover was looking through his binoculars. I turned around, acted like nothing was wrong, whistled, and kicked the stairs with the back of my foot.
The image of Hoover, who crashed to the ground as the ladder shook, was like watching monkeys in a zoo. I went to the foot of Hoover, who was lying on the ground half unconscious, trying to make sense of what was going on around, and started to speak-
"What are you doing here? You know, it's not nice to spy on people's homes."
Hoover wore Billy's underwear over his own clothes, and looked around quickly.. He was constantly averting his eyes from me and acting quickly with the tension of being caught, he took out his ‘ghost device’ and pointed it at me and started to talk-
"Where is that useless scumbag?!"
"It's none of your business... w-wait a second, wha?"
Hoover started the conversation without hiding his confusion-
"Did a stone fall on your head, kid?!"
"Agh Hoover, I know you're stalling me! If you have Billy and you don't give him back, you know good things won't happen, now stop talking nonsense and tell me where Billy is"
After my words, I started to examine the surroundings. There was nothing around that caught my eye except the car and the falling ladder, so I tried to make myself heard to Billy by calling out. There was no sound, I leaned my hand against the window and tried to peek inside-
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm ALREADY here for Billy? Besides, if I had him, I would have already gotten in the car and left, use your mind a little."
With my back turned, I continued to look around and examine and call out to Billy, then I started to talk with Hoover's last word-
"How do I know you're not playing me?! Maybe you have him right now and you're just using this to your advantage!?"
Hoover covered his face with his hands, sighed, and started to shout. On one hand, he was trying to stay calm, but on the other hand, the words he used made him sound truly angry.
"AGH CHILD! Look, I don't know where this damn useless ghost is! all I know is to come to this shit's mansion and bring that ghost to Madame X, do you think I look like I'm having fun?!"
Hoover was a disgusting person, but he wasn't professional enough to lie and act, and I think deep down I was starting to believe that he wasn't lying, but I still didn't want to trust him. I was examining the ground with my eyes and thinking, while Hoover was looking around, still trying to be sure.
My mind was at a dead end, I was taking a look at Hoover, I stopped and looked into space then said-
"Where is Billy then.."
"How should I know what hell he is in?! Right now, I'm busy thinking about what to tell Madame X. She will probably lose her mind!"
Hoover's face looked really worried, but I went inside the car and examined it to be sure. There was nothing, only Hoover's useless belongings. I gave up and approached the car door to leave, Hoover seemed to be waiting for me at the door.
"I'll get in my car kid if you let me" I leaned over to Hoover to say one thing-
"If Billy is with you and I'm inside a game right now, I will bring this whole game down on your head. That last job you have in your hands? It will literally be your last job ever."
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When I entered the house, I noticed that the door of the warehouse where Billy's belongings were located was open, when I entered, I couldn't stop my cough, it was so dusty inside that the dust stuck to my lungs. I pressed the light, the light turned off and on again, and I think it must have broken because it started flashing, when it didn't get better, I gave up and started to look around.
When I saw that there were items from my childhood in them, I realized that they did not only belong to Billy; my pictures with my family, my games, old videotapes and many more.. these things were put here after Billy passed away. It looks like my mom moved most of the things from our old house into this place after we moved here.
The most interesting thing among all the things while looking at things was Billy's childhood picture: he looked a little unhappy and emotionless, he seemed to have nothing to do with his current self, he was holding his mother's hand and just looking at the camera, it was very ironic that the Billy we knew was this Billy.
I gripped the photo in my hand so tightly that it left a mark on the paper, and without questioning, I took the picture with me.. After looking at the warehouse for the last time, I slowly closed the door of the room, and when I turned in front of me, I couldn't stop jumping when I saw my mother's silhouette-
"What are you doing Spencer? You must have liked the warehouse, sometimes it's nice to feel nostalgic ahaha"
I made sense of my mother's energy and Billy's energy, but what kind of kinship was it that I couldn't figure out this irrelevance. Before I moved this home, I didn't know much about Billy, only my mother's words like "Of course, one day you will show your talents like Billy, baby" were ringing in my ears-
"I just hadn't been in this warehouse for a long time, it felt strange"
I started to ask my mother about her kinship with Billy-
"How exactly are you related to Billy?" my mother looked up and thought for a long time-
"I mean, my very, very distant cousin, I think his grandmother and my grandmother's mother are relatives... but maybe I'm confusing things- hmmm.. "
It must be because of tiredness, but as my mom kept talking, my eyes started to wander. I couldn't understand anything from this family tree. When I realized I was losing focus, I brought my attention back.
"I still don't think I can make sense of it"
"Mom's side, oh, it's a little complicated matters, why did you ask, honey? Were you thinking what if you met Billy?"
No, on the contrary, I was curious about his family, but I never had the opportunity to ask, as if I saw the smile disappear from Billy's face when the subject came up, so I would avoid asking. It would have been nice to ask my mom about Billy's family, but I was more interested in where he was now. Where are you, dude..
Something inside me was telling me that I would meet him when I went upstairs, so I wanted to go to the room as soon as possible.
"I understand.. It's really far away, anyway, I'm going upstairs to the room, something else?"
I had ignored my mother a little and and I was honestly surprised at how I was getting caught up in an excitement I had created in my own head. Had I really reached the point of making things up this early on? It was funny; Billy would have made fun of it if he were here. I wish he were here to just mess with me.
When I went up to my room, I felt that I was right to be surprised by myself. It was really empty, and it made me grin a little when I imagined a bush passing through the middle of the room. I started to examine the surroundings as Shanilla said..
10 minutes passed, I was bored, there was no sound or video. The room was really ice-cold. I went to bed and fell asleep, sighing, thinking about what I would do about tomorrow.
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With the knock on the door, I got up from where I was lying by opening my eyes like a car headlight. I hadn't fully woken up and my eyes were spacing out, and I straightened up to the elevator as I came to my senses with the shouts of Shanilla and Rajeev coming from below. I yawned loudly with the comfort of having no one at home, and while yawning, I realized that I was passing in front of the mirror. I looked funny, my hair was messy and my eyes were swollen...
As soon as I opened the door, Rajeev jumped in and started to speak-
"WOHOHOOOOOOOOO man, you don't know what happened! Lolo invited me to her party!!!! Oh, also, it looks like Billy is still not home you looks completely miserable dude... but I'm sure we will find him."
Rajeev’s sudden mood swings make me laugh, and when Shanilla looks at me with hope and happiness, the clouds in my mind scatter, if only a little. Shanilla-
"Spencer, you're better, aren't you? Are we carrying out the plan for Hoover today?"
"Actually, I have something to talk to you about. We'd better go to my room, it's more comfortable."
Following my words, we went to my room, and without wasting any more time, I told them about my encounter with Hoover yesterday. I couldn't think of anything else, where was this ghost if not in Madame X's hands? I was thinking of peops names, I wanted to research them with Shanilla and Rajeev. Shanilla-
"I know a few mediums; I could actually consult them and ask them to interact with other ghosts or ask around—maybe someone has seen Billy."
After nodding in approval, Rajeev directed a question at me-
"That makes perfect sense when you think about it—but Spencer, are you sure about Madame X? I mean, that woman and her little troll may be up to something, to be honest, it didn't really inspire confidence. What if we just raid their mansion—'with a little help, of course'—and look for Billy?”
"If it were that easy, Rajeev, we’d be raiding every mansion, dude. Plus, Shanilla is spot on; if you manage to do that, it’ll help a lot. I’ll go with Rajeev tomorrow to say hi to some old friends.” Because of what I said, Shanilla looked at me with tenderness and a tinge of sadness as she answered.
"Spencer he's our friend too, so you're not alone in this and you never will be." Was that so?
After that day, Rajeev and I turned things upside down and even looked at the bottom of the ground. First we went looking for Bobby, we found him and then asked him, he had no idea and I was more or less relieved to see him like that, at least it really looked like it had nothing to do with Billy, and he imitated the person next to him who impressed me the most so well that they seemed happy with each other.
After Booby, we came to the building where Sandy Flap, who knew more or less about Billy and did not have a good history with Billy, worked. When we came to the reception to make an appointment to see Sandy where we went, the woman in charge mentioned about Sandy that she was no longer doing business here and could not take care of us. When we asked Sandy what happened, she simply said, ‘She went under’. After this situation, Rajeev and I looked at each other and thought about what to do, Rajeev asked the woman-
"If she doesn't work here, where is she now?"
The woman looked visibly shaken by the question. She kept touching the phone and pulling her hand away, glancing at the papers like she was just trying to buy time to cook up a lie for us. Women-
"Well-"
Then, a tall and unnecessarily handsome attendant came over and interrupted the woman-
"Are you looking for Sandy, let me take you to her room, I'm sorry about her, it's her first day of work here, so she's a little nervous." It sounded strange, and also there were a ton of questions that confused me-
Rajeev and I were looking at each other as we passed through the long corridors, it was as if this place had turned into a horror movie rather than a management company, and I, who did not get nervous from such places, could not resist the tension and coldness here. It felt wrong.
The door of the room we passed by was wide open, my eyes were immersed in the room, then unexpectedly, an employee appeared at the door, looked at me and closed the door hard, I couldn't stand it and asked a question with the tension of the environment.
"The woman told us that Sandy doesn't work here anymore, where exactly are we going?"
The careful and stern expression on the man's face disappeared when he turned to me, instead he continued his sentence with his barely raised eyebrows and forced smile-
" To Sandy's office, of course! Ah, please don't mind that incompetent—I mean, please forgive her, she must have confused her with another employee who left last week! Here is her room, right this way."
When we went into the room, Sandy's state was very unexpected: her hair was messed up, her bags under her eyes were determined, she was grinning at us-
"Oh Spencer!! It's so nice to see you around here, how can I help you!" The sincerity she established towards me by ignoring the latest events was disturbing.
"Sandy, I wonder -" I didn't know how to get into the sentence, so Rajeev jumped to the word-
"Where’s Billy? If you’ve got him, hand him over. Look, we can make a deal, seriously.”
Rajeev spoke in a casual, confident manner. Sandy’s smile was beginning to vanish, but she was still forcing that fake smile on her face -
"Look, kids, I can't waste time dealing with your empty work here, after all, I'm a person with a full business life, besides, how should I know where Billy is?"
After these words, she was gesturing to the man in charge behind with her eyes, I couldn't understand, but there was something wrong-
"Well, you have your answer, boys. Now leave. I have a major meeting in a few minutes, and it will be a massive turning point for my career!"
The attendant came up behind us and started tugging at us, Sandy was looking out the window with her back turned-
We were out the door, with the strangeness and shock of the incident, we left the place and went to Wi-Fri to get the situation from Shanilla.
"I have some bad news, guys—" Shanilla couldn't hide the nervousness on her face-
" I’ve spoken to most of the mediums, but I didn't get a good answer from any of them. I visited them all one by one, and I even left my number in case they heard anything, but no one has called back or anything… I'm sorry."
I felt even more suffocated after hearing Shanilla say that; the circle was shrinking, but we still had absolutely nothing to go on.
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We continued to search, investigate and try to get help, but there was no sound or video from anywhere, it was as if Billy had never existed.
Shanilla had focused on magic to find Billy, but when the mediums did not help, she decided to give up hope on them and take a hand herself. Rajeev, on the other hand, was sad, helping with the research as much as he could, or trying to keep us motivated. I, on the other hand, was trying to learn in-depth information about ghosts and meeting other ghosts, but none of them were of any use... Still, there was no sign of Billy.
Time flew by, we were all starting to concentrate on our own lives involuntarily, I was still searching, trying whatever I could, but at the same time, I was trying to graduate from high school and carrying the tension and excitement of being able to enter university life, but despite these, I did not give up, but I could not stop my thoughts.
Maybe... Part of me thought that maybe he was at peace, but some of me had a hard time accepting it because the punishment of me being responsible for all of them hurt.
Shanilla, on the other hand, was concentrating on her studies, trying for the department she wanted, but despite all this, she did not spare her support for me, the situation was the same for Rajeev, but he was a little more focused on his work and education, he was working in a bar by a pier, trying to earn money to reach the main profession he wanted to do...
Coming in and out of our youth for a moment, leaving a mark, energizing and exciting our lives, putting us on an adventure, teaching us new things without realizing it, and many more... But most importantly, the man who made us love himself was gone. Maybe that was what we couldn't accept, but for me, what I couldn't accept was the anguish of blaming myself, I shouldn't have treated him like that that day.
7 Years had passed since Billy's disappearance, I was going to end university, I would finish my school exactly one year later and I was going to enter the film industry, the feeling that I would really have a profession in addition to the awards I won from most of the films I made since the age of 14 was really exciting for me because I was going to start my business life, but part of me was suffering from not having someone to tell my excitement and happiness. I hadn't forgotten him, and I couldn't forget him... A lot has happened in these years, and it has left a mark on all of us.
We broke up during the period, but we didn't completely stop communicating, I would ask Rajeev or call or he would call me, but my situation with Shanilla was a little more complicated...
I got closer to Shanilla more or less because of the circumstances and environmental conditions, but it didn't last long, I thought this experience was a bit due to emotional emptiness, so I couldn't talk to Shanilla like I used to for a long time.
But besides these, Rajeev was busy enjoying his love affair with Lolo, and Shanilla was enjoying her university, but Shanilla did not let go of the witchcraft she learned after Billy disappeared.
I was studying at school, meeting new people, and still working on horror movies. Zombies and ghosts were usually predominant, as always, but right now I was writing a project of mine, The Curse of the Lost...
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I was preparing my belongings in the dormitory to return home after my finals. I was excited to go home and play video games and most of all to sleep, I even ordered the recently released game to play with Rajeev, but of course I was going to make preparations for the movie I was going to make with them.
After saying goodbye to my roommate Luke, I left the room and set off. While waiting for time to pass at the bus stop, I was listening to music and examining the surroundings. I had lost my perception because of my focus on my finals. I thought it would be good to go to the bathroom before getting on the bus, but after seeing the queue, I had to think again. As the queue progressed slowly, something started rubbing against my leg when I didn't expect it, and when I looked down, I saw a cat. I bent down to pet him, his face was very chubby, his fur was white and his eyes were yellow like the sun, an old overweight woman came and looked at me and said only one thing.
"Billy"
I paused for a moment and thought that the woman was confusing it with someone else, and asked with the same facial expression-
"I think you mixed it up-"
"The cat's name. Billy."
"Oh, I understand, s-sorry, ahah, for a moment, my head went elsewhere."
When I turned my head toward the cat, I saw it was just licking its leg. Since it was minding its own business, I didn't want to touch it, and since I couldn't make sense of the strangeness of what had just happened either, I just shrugged it off and went back to waiting for my turn for the bathroom.
After leaving the bathroom, I took my place on the bus, took my mp3 back, which I left open while waiting on the road, and leaned my head against the window to take a nap. I fell asleep.
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When I inserted the key to enter the house, I realized that the door was open, the house was empty and dark. I thought my parents were at home and called out to them, but there was no sound. I took my belongings and carried them to the elevator before heading to the elevator to go upstairs to my room. I was cramped in the elevator with my belongings. When I came to the floor, I left with my back turned, holding the belongings. After bringing them all to the doorway, when I turned around, I noticed that something was lying on the bed, I approached a little scared and started calling out-
"Dude, I don't know how you got into this house, but I dont like it-"
I was at a loss for words at what I saw; shocked to the core, I could do nothing but stare at the body lying in my bed.
This lying person was Billy-