Chapter Text
Nakamura liked to think that some people weren’t as they seemed. People who looked strong could hate working out. People with talking skills could hate interacting with others. People who looked energetic and happy could be the most pessimistic and lazy people ever.
And Nakamura, a person who looked like he was scared of everything, wasn’t scared of anything.
Well, except maybe getting rejected by a certain someone.
Besides that, Nakamura didn’t really find anything that was scary to him. Some things made him anxious, sure, so he avoided them, but there was a difference between being afraid and having anxiety.
The current thing causing his anxiety?
A little dramatic birdie named Tamura Arandou.
Tamura, like many other people in Nakamura’s life, thought Nakamura was a scaredy cat. Tamura, unlike the many other people in Nakamura’s life, chased him down for it like a fan to a famous actor.
“Please Nakamura! You’re just what we need!” he complained to Nakamura while Nakamura paid for ice tea at the vending machine.
“I already said no, Tamura,” Nakamura replied. Tamura, unfortunately, was someone Nakamura could be around without being anxious. Probably because he only mattered to Tamura for theatre related reasons.
“And who’s we?” Nakamura raised an eyebrow.
Tamura shot up from where he’d been begging on his knees. “We! The theatre world and I! The world of cinema, Nakamura! It needs you!” At some point, a tear rolled down Tamura’s cheeks as he posed and waved his script, pointing it at Nakamura with a flourish.
Nakamura wasn’t impressed. He turned around and started walking back to his classroom. Tamura, ever persistent, followed him.
“Pleaseeeee,” Tamura whined. Nakamura ignored him, five seconds away from whacking Tamura with his own script.
“I already told you, I suck at acting.”
“That’s fine! It needs to be real!”
“Tamura, a dark school and some stories don't scare me.” Nakamura said as they reached the classroom door.
“Then come and see if you get scared! If not, you’re just there for comedic relief!” Tamura insisted. “Plus! You fit the role so perfectly! The beady eyes, the tall stature, the dark hair! You were made for this role!”
Nakamura rolled his eyes and opened the door.
“You need to somehow convince me to come here, after hours, to walk around and let you film me, instead of going home, eating good food, and watching TV on my bed.” Nakamura told him.
Tamura peaked over his shoulder and grinned a grin the devil would be proud of.
“Hirose!” Tamura called. “You’re still coming tonight, right?”
Hirose looked at the two in the doorway, and smiled brightly.
“Yeah!” he said. “As long as you still bring the snacks!” Hirose walked over to them.
“Nakamura! Are you coming?” Hirose looked up at him with those big chestnut eyes, and Nakamura cursed Tamura.
“Y-yeah! Of course I’m coming!” Nakamura wanted to hide himself in a corner after Tamura looked at him in utter glee.
“Yes! Great, I knew you’d come around Nakamura!” Tamura latched onto his arm, grinning like a madman. Nakamura kicked him not so discreetly.
“Get off,” Nakamura bit under grit teeth.
Tamura looked back to Hirose, who was watching the interaction with fascination.
“Nakamura says he’s not afraid, but we’ll put that to the test!” Tamura claimed.
Hirose turned to Nakamura. “Really? That’s so cool! W-well, not like I’m afraid either.”
Come to think of it, Nakamura didn’t know what Hirose was afraid of. It looked like tonight would be a good chance to find out.
Nakamura got his hopes up. But only just a little.
Tamura kept them behind after school. The group of students wasn’t that large, namely made up of Nakamura’s classmates. Nakamura didn’t know why the upperclassman liked to pick on them, but he wasn’t complaining.
Because he was sitting next to Hirose.
The rest of Hirose’s friends, Takeuchi and Mukai, were busy flirting with the girls (in Takeuchi’s case) and staring off into the sunset like a dramatic hero in a manga (in Mukai’s case). Oomori was also there, but he was also a part of the theater club, so he was helping Tamura set up.
Hirose had chosen to sit next to Nakamura on one of the benches while they waited for the rest of the teachers to leave school. Technically, they weren’t supposed to be at the school after 18:00, but Tamura insisted that it was okay. Again, Nakamura didn’t believe him.
They had all put their backpacks in a bush, which was questionable, but Tamura said that backpacks would “ruin” his movie, as if they weren’t playing highschoolers who definitely had backpacks.
“Excited, Nakamura?”
Hirose was looking at him, smiling, but Nakamura saw something flicker behind it.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess so,” Nakamura said.
Hirose chuckled. “You don’t sound too excited. Are you really not afraid of anything?” he cocked an eyebrow playfully.
“Uh…” Nakamura almost forgot the question. It was pretty hard to think when Hirose’s eyes shone in the sunset, looking like endless seas of honey-glazed perfection.
“N-no, I, um, sure!” he tried.
He failed.
Hirose paused, looking confused before he started chuckling softly, a different laugh compared to the one he did with Takeuchi and Mukai.
“What?” Hirose asked between giggles.
“Sorry…” Nakamura looked down, feeling his ears heat up.
“Don’t apologize!” Hirose smiled, then, suddenly looking shy, he scratched his cheek. “Actually… I was a little nervous. But! Now that you’re here, I’m a little less nervous.”
Nakamura couldn’t handle any more of this, because he and Hirose (and others, but they didn’t matter) were hanging out after school, and Hirose had just said that he was comfortable with Nakamura. If Nakamura was alone, he would be screaming into the nearest thing (which right now was Hirose and Nakamura wasn’t doing that).
“Okay!” Tamura clapped to gather their attention. “Right now, 18:40, according to, ahem, external sources, is the best time to enter a haunted school! Let’s go!”
Tamura strapped his old camera to his hand and followed behind the group as they snuck into the school using Tamura’s key that he somehow had.
“An actor never tells his secrets!” he said.
“Don’t you mean magicians?” Nakamura mumbled under his breath, only Hirose having heard him, the latter chuckling again.
“Just so you know,” Takeuchi exclaimed. “I’m here to protect anyone, not you Mukai, if they get scared!” And then he flinched at a shadow.
Nakamura nodded along as if that made perfect sense. “And I’ll make sure to hold your hand if you get scared by a door, Takeuchi.”
Everyone laughed at this, even though Nakamura wasn’t really in the mood for people to think he was funny. He was still annoyed with Tamura for keeping him when they were having Chicken Katsu Curry that night at his house. And he was sure that a door could scare Takeuchi.
“Wow, Nakamura,” Hirose leaned toward him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.” Hirose smiled again. Nakamura could see his eyes flicker around the hall as they walked.
Not knowing what he was saying, Nakamura spoke again, softer this time, just to Hirose. “If you get overwhelmed, we can ditch Tamura and go back outside.”
Hirose’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Y-yeah.” What was I thinking? Nakamura thought. Inviting Hirose outside, alone together. And that was assuming that Hirose was even scared.
“Okay,” Hirose said softly, inching a little closer to Nakamura.
Nevermind. That was the best decision I’ve ever made.
“Oi, Tamura!” a voice called down in the hallway. Everybody flinched. Nakamura did too, for a different reason.
There was his other least favorite person.
Aokiyama Reiko stalked towards them, a wild sneer on her face. Tamura sneered right back.
“Aokiyama. What brings you here, after I explicitly said that I don’t need anymore of your help?” Tamura crossed his arms.
Aokiyama scoffed, then whipped a finger out to point at Nakamura.
“I need Nakamura,” she said.
“No,” Tamura and Nakamura said simultaneously.
Aokiyama turned to Nakamura. “But Nakamuraaaa, I have a ritual to do! And you’re perfect. Come on~” she clasped her hands in a praying motion, then pulled them apart as if she had committed a sin.
“For the last time,” Nakamura rubbed his temples. “I’m not joining your stupid club. And no, I’m not being a human sacrifice for you again.”
“Again?” Someone muttered.
“Cult!” Aokiyama corrected.
“Sacrifice?” Takeuchi squeaked.
Aokiyama turned on them, grinning again.
“Yes! A human sacrifice is needed to summon the evil ghosts that once resided in these halls. Did you know that this space used to be an ancient temple to the god of torture, and the person who built this school wanted to sacrifice all the kids who attended? That’s why, during mid-term exams–” she was cut off by both Tamura and Nakamura, who had gripped her shoulders and covered her mouth, respectfully.
Aokiyama grumbled, her speech muffled as she flailed.
“Go away, Aokiyama. I have a shoot to film!” Tamura complained. He looked at Nakamura, and Nakamura nodded. Tamura hauled Aokiyama away, coming back after he shoved her into a classroom down the hall.
“Phew!” Tamura said, clapping his hands together as if he had just concluded business. “Let’s keep going!”
The group was more on edge now, some having believed Aokiyama’s clearly fake story. Hirose was so close to Nakamura, he could have sworn Hirose had tried to hold his hand.
“So,” Tamura said once they had stopped again, this time in a darker section of their school. “I’m thinking we start by turning the corner, for now there’ll be no one there, but I’ll edit in a monster or something. Once we turn, everyone needs to scream and run in the opposite direction. Okay?”
Everyone nodded, except one girl who just raised her hand. Nakamura couldn’t remember her name. “Uh, I don’t know how to scream when I’m not scared.” she said.
“Just try,” Tamura said as if that fixed everything. Nakamura could hear him think "amateur actors…”
He had them stand around while he set up his tripod.
Hirose was looking around again. Nakamura noticed. Nakamura tapped him on the shoulder, gesturing to the wall. They went and stood against it.
“Thanks, Nakamura, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Hirose tried to chuckle, but it came out more like a shaky exhale.
Nakamura hummed. “It’s alright to be scared,” he said, before realizing. “Um! N-not that you’re scared of course! You’re very brave!” Nakamura waved his hands. “One of the bravest people I know…” he added under his breath.
Hirose looked at him differently.
“Thank you,” Hirose said.
Nakamura smiled sheepishly.
“Alright!” Tamura stood up. Nakamura glared at him for ruining their moment.
They all clustered together, about to turn the corner.
Nakamura should have known that something was about to go wrong.
“And… Action!”
It was chaos.
They ran around the corner, only to find, not nothing there, but a tall massive body lurking over them, dripping with some goo.
Everyone screamed, running the opposite way.
Hirose, however, ran right past the monster.
Nakamura didn’t think twice. He ran after Hirose.
“Hirose! Wait!” Nakamura ran harder. He was so close to catching up with Hirose, when–
Hirose turned the corner, and everything in Nakamura stilled.
Hirose was falling.
Falling down the staircase.
Pure dread encircled Nakamura. His body moved without him knowing.
And he caught Hirose, somehow.
One of his hands clutched Hirose’s waist. It was sloppy, but firm. His other hand tightened on the handrail to the side.
Hirose looked stunned. Nakamura noticed that they were both shaking.
If I had been one second slower, Hirose would have–
Nakamura couldn’t finish his thought. Hirose looked to his side, and started breathing heavier, until he was gasping for air.
Nonononono
Nakamura knew the signs of a panic attack.
Nakamura forgot all about anything else. Hirose was having a panic attack.
“Hirose,” Nakamura said. He would have been surprised to find his voice steady, but that was the least of his concerns. Hirose was crying now. “I’m going to pull you up, okay?” Hirose shook his head. “I won’t let go of you, I promise.”
Nakamura slowly pulled Hirose up, until Hirose was standing in front of him, his arms immediately clutching Nakamura’s chest. His legs buckled, and Nakamura barely caught him, his other hand moving to catch the other side of Hirose’s waist.
“Hirose, listen to my voice.” Nakamura tried to calm him down. Hirose’s eyes were unfocused, his breath catching where he coughed from crying.
Nakamura didn’t know what to do.
Get him away from the staircase, his brain told him.
Nakamura lifted Hirose up, carrying him in his arms. He would have screamed for joy if he was sane in that moment, but Nakamura was more focused on how Hirose was gripping Nakamura’s shirt like it was the only thing saving him.
Nakamura walked slowly, one foot in front of the other in a steady rhythm, trying to give Hirose something to focus on.
He didn’t want to go into a classroom; it was too closed of a space.
He settled on turning the next corner and sitting them down where the two walls met. He put Hirose’s back to them, so he’d know there was no way he could fall.
“Look at me, Hirose, over here. Breathe.” Nakamura turned Hirose’s head, tilting it up. He cupped his head in his hands, brushing his fingers over Hirose’s tear tracks.
Hirose grabbed Nakamura’s forearms, arms shaking wildly.
“In, Hirose. Please.” Nakamura begged, instructing Hirose when to inhale and exhale. Slowly, Hirose calmed down to the point where his breathing didn’t come out in short spurts.
Nakamura knelt in front of the other, hands still holding Hirose’s face. That alone would have been the subject of many of Nakamura’s dreams. Except for the fact that Hirose was now crying silently. Nakamura’s brows furrowed. Without thinking about it, he hugged Hirose.
“I’m sorry, Hirose.” Nakamura apologized. “I should have known Aokiyama would play one of her tricks. Of course it was her. I should have caught you before you ran. I knew the staircase was there. I’m so sorry.” Hirose was now grasping his back, his head buried in Nakamura’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a while. Hirose was basically on his lap. Nakamura didn’t care. He didn’t even speak until he could hear Hirose’s breaths steady.
He gently brought Hirose’s face back into his hands.
Hirose seemed to notice him for the first time.
“Nakamura?”
His eyes were bloodshot. His nose was red. His face was moist from crying.
Nakamura ached.
“Yeah,” he answered.
Hirose leaned forward again, bumping their foreheads together. He exhaled shakily.
“Thank you. Thank you. I don’t know what–”
“Let’s not think about it.” Nakamura interrupted.
Hirose nodded.
“Do you want to get up?”
“Not really.”
“Okay.”
Hirose closed his eyes, their foreheads still connected. Nakamura kept his open, choosing to run his fingers through Hirose’s hair. Even when Hirose had been crying, he was still so beautiful.
It wasn’t until Nakamura noticed the street lamps turning on that he spoke to Hirose.
“Hirose,” he whispered, careful around the fact that Hirose was still shaken up.
Hirose opened his eyes and leaned back. His eyes were still red, though they weren’t shaking any more, which Nakamura took as a blessing.
Now that Hirose was listening, Nakamura continued.
“It’s getting darker outside. We should leave.” he said.
Hirose looked out the window. He turned back and nodded.
Nakamura stood first. He held out a hand to Hirose. Hirose took it and pulled himself up, then stumbled again. Nakamura, for the third time that day, shot his hand out and caught Hirose by the waist, pulling him in closer.
Hirose looked up at him. Nakamura noticed that they were really close.
He chuckled, not nervously.
“Hi,” he said dumbly.
Hirose was still looking up at him, his expression one that Nakamura had only seen him give his Aquapet poster. Awe.
“Hi,” he breathed, and Nakamura, now that he wasn’t so caught up in trying to impress the other, could see just how imperfect Hirose looked. Swollen eyes, red nose, mussed hair, uneven shirt.
It made Nakamura smile. He felt drunk, but maybe that was the adrenaline speaking from earlier.
“Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Hirose responded, pausing before Nakamura could start walking. “Um, could you maybe…” he trailed off, his eyes on Nakamura’s hand.
“Uh,” Nakamura tried to understand what Hirose wanted. It hit him like a train.
“Yeah. Yes. Sure.” he said, trying to find the word that could convey the feeling of I would be honored and forever grateful to walk with you and keep you steady.
But no words meant that, so they started walking. Nakamura didn’t know how exactly to interpret what Hirose meant, so when they struggled to walk at the same pace with Nakamura’s hand on Hirose’s waist, Nakamura withdrew it and slipped Hirose’s hand into his own.
“Is this better?” Nakamura whispered, afraid his voice would fail if he spoke normally.
Hirose reddened, then nodded. Nakamura wondered if he was still embarrassed from earlier.
They exited the school in silence. When they reached the bush with their bags, theirs were the only two left. Nakamura decided to not be miffed by the fact that Tamura hadn’t looked for them, and hadn’t even cared to call them.
Nakamura slung both bags over his shoulder, and when Hirose protested, he insisted: “I’ve got this. I promise.” That shut Hirose up, and they began the walk home.
Along the way, Nakamura realized that neither of them had eaten anything since the end of school.
“Hirose,” Nakamura said, pausing in front of a convenience store. He nodded towards it.
“Is karaage okay?” he asked the other.
Hirose looked inside, then down at his stomach. “Yeah. Thank you.”
Nakamura nodded and pulled them into the store. The purchase was easy, and the store clerk didn’t ask why one looked as if they had just broken down and why they were holding hands while buying chicken. Nakamura decided that she had probably seen many things.
They sat at a table outside of the store and divided the pieces up. Nakamura checked his phone and received a notification. He scoffed.
Tamura had required them to all exchange phone numbers before the shoot.
Tamura had messaged him: “That scene where you ran after Hirose is going to be a hit!” Attached was a video of Nakamura flailing after Hirose, almost tripping on one of the sticks of Aokiyama’s giant monster puppet.
Nakamura was going to plot intense violence against his upperclassmen. Both Tamura and Aokiyama.
Hirose, who was sitting right next to him instead of across, looked over his shoulder and snorted. That turned into him laughing so loud he almost choked on his karaage.
Suddenly, it seemed pretty funny. Nakamura’s chest bubbled with laughter.
The two laughed for what seemed like hours, coughing up chicken and having to divide the water in Nakamura’s bottle.
“He’s so dumb,” Nakamura said, shaking his head.
Hirose looked over to him, grinning mischievously. “Do you think we can ask for the profits since he technically was our supervisor, and we got lost?”
Nakamura thought for a second, stunned. “You, Hirose, are a genius.”
And they lost it again.
Once they had finally recovered, Hirose spoke.
“Thanks,”
Nakamura hummed. “For what?”
“I don’t know,” Hirose gestured with his hands. “For staying next to me when you definitely knew I was scared. For running after me. For catching me before I…”
Nakamura found himself wrapping his arms around Hirose, pulling him in.
“I know I said I’m not scared of anything, but I was terrified when you started hyperventilating.” he confessed.
Hirose breathed into Nakamura’s shoulder. “Thank you. I don’t think I’ve been comforted like that for a long time.” he took in another deep breath. “It was nice.”
“Any time,” Nakamura said, and he meant it.
“Okay,” Hirose said softly. “I might have to take advantage of that.”
“Take advantage of me,” Nakamura said. Hirose looked at him. “You can, you know? When Takeuchi gets too loud, or when Oomori tries to convince you to do things you don’t want to. I’ll be here, with a hug and ears to listen.” Nakamura had always wanted to tell Hirose something like this, and he expressed it as honestly as he could.
“Any uncomfortable situation,” he continued. “I’ll get you out of it.” he smiled.
Hirose looked like he was going to cry again.
“You’re too good, Nakamura.” he said instead.
“And you need a break from being too good. I’m serious. We all need someone close by for these things.”
Hirose nodded. “Thank–”
“No. No ‘thank you’s. Only yesses.” Nakamura teased.
Hirose chuckled. “Then yes. Please.”
“Anytime.”