Work Text:
for some reason, dan had never paid much attention to how important pillows are.
but one day, he considered that being a pillow would allow him to be in phil's bed way faster than if he was himself. he would get to see phil almost naked, sleep with him every night and that was about everything he hoped for when he had that thought.
thankfully, he did not stop at a mere thought. he knew flirting had to be involved one way or another. dan went from thinking of phil, to talking to him. and he went from talking to him, to talking with him. they had long conversations, about life, about how hopeless, doomed, vain and shitty it was. and how cute humans were. and how promising and mellow some humans made life look. they could not agree on one vision of life. they didn't think it was either good or bad, maybe it's both. maybe bad people make it seem worse than it is. they agreed on making bad people irrelevant. maybe that would make the word a better place. that surely would.
those conversations made him realised being a pillow meant something else too. he would get to hear sleepy phil's deep and trivial conversations at night. does phil also create scenarios to fall asleep? dan would know if he was his pillow.
one day, phil came crying in the coffeeshop where dan worked. dan had just finished cleaning the countertop and turned around as phil walk forth in small steps, his head bent. he could hear his sniffing despite the loud end-of-summer pop hit playing in the shop. dan frowned at the sight because phil had never shown himself that way. dan worried. that meant the problem was really bad, right? phil could not even stop his tears and make a good impression in front of his new friend. dan began to worry but brushed it under the surface and put on a reassuring smile. phil ended up telling him the reason for his crying. his close friend was to move out of town soon. he was important to phil and losing his daily presence was a big deal to him. he was the one who taught him how to be confident and create a safe space for himself. but dan knew his words and presence would stay in phil's mind and that phil could do just fine without his constant reassurance now.
as he went home that day, dan realised something else about pillows. he was so obsessed with pillows that he could, any minute now, start a chart and compare the things a pillow could do and dan could not yet. had it become a competition? almost, but it did not. dan never made that chart. when phil was here, dan forgot about any competition anyway. when phil was in front of him, he could only see phil. and when phil was not here, he could only think about what phil could be doing right now, about what he could do to be with him right now, about what he would do next time they would meet. the almost-competition with a pillow was full going-on when dan realised something : he was now at the stage of their relationship where he could see phil cry and offer him a shoulder to cry on. is that what being a pillow meant? a shoulder to cry on? dan was definitely getting closer to being a pillow.
and one day it came, phil was now in front of him, asking dan to be his boyfriend. isn't that so amazing? he only dreamt of being in his bed for vicarious sex, and there he was, all love-bitten, blushing at the idea of having phil be his actual boyfriend. what a step forward! see where the thought of a pillow (and actual flirting) takes you.
after that, they made love and, to say the least, dan was not the pillow. he was a little more active than that. he got to see phil naked too. he didn't ponder too much upon it when it happened. but one day when he was thinking back of the time they were still shy around one-another, dan remembered why he wanted to be a pillow in the first place. he knew he had won the competition. not that the competition was ever real.
dan truly was phil's pillow, the portable and loving one, the comforting one that dries your tears and is cold on both sides. but pillows don't talk, they don't cook, they don't hug, they don't make love. dan had become more than a mere pillow. he was the premium down & feather pillow, the one that you call when anything happens, when nothing happens and when everything happens. the one you truly love and cherish.